


Freaking Out

by MkSC



Category: Major Crimes (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fix-It, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Post-Canon Fix-It, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2019-07-04 00:00:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 96,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15829596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MkSC/pseuds/MkSC
Summary: Chapter 27: Sharon and Andy assume the role of doting grandparents.





	1. Chapter 1

"Change into this gown and drape the sheet over your legs, and Dr. Hughes will be right with you." Sharon thanked the nurse as she left the room and started to undress. She folded the knit dress she'd been wearing and made sure it was covering her bra and panties as she placed it in the chair beside her purse, although she wasn't sure why she always did that. Dr. Hughes had been giving her regular exams since she was twenty and had delivered both of her babies, so her undergarments paled in comparison to what he'd seen over the years. She slipped her arms into the "gown," which was more like a paper vest, and settled the thin, poor excuse for a "sheet" over her knees as she lay back on the table and waited for her doctor to come in. She'd strategically scheduled her yearly appointment for early Friday morning so she could count it as a sick day and still have most of the day to herself. Andy had left the evening before to spend a long weekend at Disneyland with Nicole, Dean, and their children, but Sharon had used her appointment and the fact that they'd just finished a long and difficult case and wanted to rest as an excuse to decline her invitation. Rusty had also left the evening before to spend the weekend in Napa with Gus, and chances to have the condo to herself for even a day, much less an entire weekend, were few and far between. She loved having Andy and Rusty around, but she also loved the rare times when she didn't have to immediately put her robe or clothes on when she got out of the shower, didn't have to fight for the bathroom or TV, and could do whatever the hell she wanted without being constantly interrupted by Andy or Rusty needing something or asking her where something was instead of taking five seconds to look for it themselves.

Sharon wrapped the vest-like thing tightly around her and shivered in the cold exam room. It didn't take much these days to make her feel nostalgic, and her mind went back to her first "big girl doctor" appointment, as her college friends had jokingly referred to gynecologists. She'd been terrified, but she and Jack had been dating seriously for a while, and after a drunken encounter almost went too far, she'd decided to get birth control. It had become more easily accessible in the last few years, so she wanted to take advantage of it. She'd still make him wrap it up, but she wanted extra back-up. Having to tell her parents that she was pregnant at this stage in her life wasn't something she cared to have to do. Her mom had been on her ass to start getting yearly physicals, anyway, so she'd killed two birds with one stone. Sharon knew she'd be shy about asking a doctor for birth control, but one of her friends had told her that Dr. Hughes had asked if she needed it without her having to bring it up, so that was all Sharon needed to decide to make an appointment with him. It wasn't exactly something she could ask the doctor she'd grown up with for on her next visit home, because, well, he was her dad's best friend. "So, who's Sharon dating now, she came to the office to get on birth control" wasn't a conversation that needed to come up on the golf course. The concept of patient confidentiality hadn't occurred to her naive twenty-year-old mind. Now, here she still was, almost forty years later. Dr. Hughes had been a great doctor through the years, despite Sharon's low criteria for choosing him. He was fresh out of medical school at the time, and now he was in his seventies, worked part-time, and was strictly on the gynecology side of medicine. He hadn't delivered a baby in years.

A soft knock sounded at the door, pulling Sharon from her thoughts. She sat up a little straighter as Dr. Hughes came in. They chatted for a couple of minutes before he asked her a few questions and started the exam. She raised her arm and rested it behind her head without being told and flinched slightly as his cold hands prodded against her breast. As far as modern medicine had come, doctors still couldn't figure out how to warm their hands up before doing a breast exam. When that part was over, Dr. Hughes wheeled a stool over and set up camp between her legs. This part of the visit hadn't fazed her in years. She smiled as she remembered her first appointment and how tense and embarrassed she'd been. She hadn't really understood the point of having the sheet over her thighs at first, but it had made her feel a little more comfortable and less exposed. As unexposed as one could feel with someone's hands inside of them, anyway. The things running through her head then and now were entirely different. As she got older and control over certain things were starting to slip, her concerns now were much different than when she was a modest twenty-year-old. The only thought on her mind right now was please don't fart.

"All right, Sharon, everything looks good," Dr. Hughes said when he finished examining her. "You can get dressed, and I'll be back in a few minutes." Sharon waited for him to leave the room before she got up to get dressed again. She wasn't quite sure why she always did that, either. He came back in a couple of minutes later with results from the finger prick and urine sample she'd given upon her arrival. "I'm not seeing any problems here, so go to the end of the hall for your regular bloodwork, and you'll need to go over to Cedars for your mammogram." Sharon thanked him, and they chatted for a couple more minutes before she left the room.

When Sharon got home near 11:00, she was surprised to find her own car keys when she placed Rusty's keys in the bowl. His car still ran pretty well, but it was getting old. She wasn't comfortable with him taking it on a long trip, so she'd allowed him to take her car for the six-hour drive to Napa. She groaned softly to herself as she walked down the hall, knowing her weekend to herself was long gone. She peeked into his room before walking over to his bed. He was under the covers and his lights were off, but his position wasn't right for him to be asleep. "Hey, Mom," Rusty mumbled, not bothering to open his eyes, when he heard Sharon walking around the foot of his bed.

"Hey, yourself." Sharon sat on the edge of Rusty's bed and ran her hand through his hair. "What's the matter? Are you sick?" As soon as the words were out of her mouth, the logistics of him getting himself home so early if he were sick didn't make sense, but it was the first thing that came to her mind.

"No." Rusty opened his eyes and pushed her hand away before it could reach his forehead, knowing it was coming. He was looking torward the wall, but his eyes were glazed over and unfocused, and he had a blank expression on his face. "Gus has been fucking his boss." Sharon flinched at his uncharacteristic choice of words, but didn't reprimand him. She could tell they had been on the rocks lately, but he'd been so happy about how much better they'd gotten along after his last visit, so she thought things were better between them. She certainly didn't think it would end like this. She didn't think Rusty did, either. "Sorry, Mom. I just..." Rusty had felt numb since he'd arrived in Napa earlier than planned to surprise Gus and found him kissing that asshole at his door, but saying it out loud made it seem more real. The emotions he'd been suppressing hit him all at once, and as much as he hated to cry, they needed a release. He couldn't stop the tears from spilling over, despite his best efforts.

"Honey, I'm so sorry." Sharon gathered him in her arms, and tears filled her own eyes as he cried against her. She hated to see her children so heartbroken. It made her feel so helpless. She couldn't do anything but hold them and let them cry until they were ready to talk about it. She remembered holding Emily just like this one night when she was seventeen, because "every boy she kissed turned gay." Sharon's explanation that people don't "turn gay" and that their orientation had nothing to do with her had fallen on deaf ears. The boys in question had probably tried dating girls out of fear of how people would react if they didn't, because people acted so ridiculous about it. Sharon hated that the boys were in such a position over something they couldn't control and knew they hadn't purposefully hurt Emily, but that hadn't made the bawling teenager in her lap any less heartbroken. Her thoughts next turned to her own heartbreak the first time Jack had cheated on her. That she knew of, anyway. Emily had been a couple of days shy of two weeks old, and Sharon was a hormonal mess and in no shape to deal with it. She rubbed Rusty's back and rested her cheek against the top of his head as his body shuddered against her. She had no idea how much time had passed when he finally started to calm down. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No." Rusty turned away from her and pulled his covers over his head, but he immediately felt guilty after Sharon had held him for who knows how long. "Thanks for sitting with me, though, I actually feel a little better."

"You're welcome. I'll leave you alone, but I'll be around if you need me." She hadn't even made it to the door before Rusty spoke again.

"Like, why didn't he just break up with me if he was going to do this? I know I've been difficult, but I never would've cheated on him. And we were doing so much better the last time I visited him. Even to the point that I wanted to show up early to surprise him. I hadn't been so excited to see him in a long time, and now..." Sharon sat back on Rusty's bed and resumed rubbing his back. "Like, we've talked about it before, and he knew that this was the one thing I'd never be able to forgive. And he big fat did it anyway. It just feels like a huge 'fuck you' thrown in my face. Sorry. But I really don't think I deserved it. I've done stuff wrong, but I would never intentionally hurt him."

"I know you wouldn't, and I'm sure Gus does, too."

"I just...never thought he'd do this. We've had arguments, but I never thought there would be a time when we weren't together. The thought of it makes me feel sick." Rusty sniffled. "I thought I'd found the person I'd always be with, and now I have to start over. I think I'm more upset about that than not actually being with him. He was familiar and comfortable, and I don't want to lose that."

That struck a nerve with Sharon for some reason, but she tucked it away to think about later. "Are you positive he's cheating on you? Is it possible that you just saw something and jumped to the wrong conclusion?"

Rusty shook his head. "I know that sounds like me, but they were kissing at Gus's door when I got there last night. And the look on Gus's face said it all. He's been calling and texting me, but I can't talk to him right now. I actually tried to convince myself that they hadn't done more than kiss, but one of his texts ruined that for me."

"I'm sorry, honey. What did you do when you saw them?"

Rusty shrugged. "What do you think I did? I turned around and came home."

"Rusty! Why didn't you call Ricky and stay with him? And why didn't you tell me you were coming home?! I'd like to know about it if you're driving home in the middle of the night." It had to have been at least 3:00 in the morning before he got back.

"I just wanted to come home," he said simply.

Sharon nodded. She could understand that. "Wait, but my keys..."

"I waited until I heard you leave this morning before I put them back in the bowl. I didn't want you to know I was here this morning, so I parked in Andy's space. I didn't want to forget to put your keys back before you got home so you would know I was here...What are you doing here, anyway?" Rusty noticed for the first time that Sharon didn't look like she was dressed for work.

"I had a doctor's appointment this morning, so I just took the whole day off."

Rusty looked worried. "Why? Are you okay?" He'd never known her to take a whole day off for a doctor's appointment if she wasn't sick.

"I'm fine. It was just a physical. There's usually too much going on at work for me not to have to rush right back after an appointment, but since we just finished a case, all I have is paperwork that can wait until Monday."

Rusty hadn't really thought about her going to the doctor for that before. She made him get physicals every year, which he hated, but he'd never thought about her doing the same thing. "How was it?"

"Well, peeing in a cup is always a good time..."

"Mom! Like, how long does it take for them to tell you everything's okay?" He figured she'd had blood tests, and probably some other stuff that he didn't need to know anything about, that wouldn't have results right away. When he feared for her life, it was in the context of a dangerous situation at work, which didn't happen that often. He'd never thought about her health failing her before, and the thought of losing her someday was more than he could bear to think about.

"Usually just a couple of weeks. Honey, I'm fine. It was just a routine appointment." After a few minutes of silence, Sharon gave Rusty's back a final pat. "There's a new hamburger place on the beach in Malibu. You interested? I can go pick something up, or we can order in, if you'd rather do that."

Rusty shook his head. "No, the beach actually sounds pretty good. I'm not that sad anymore, I'm just pissed off."

"I know the feeling. Change your clothes and wash your face. You'll feel a little better." Sharon exchanged her dress for shorts and a top and found a couple of beach towels while she waited for Rusty, thinking they might sit on the beach for a while after they ate. Junk food and salty air was the best solution she could come up with for a broken heart. And perhaps a little wine for herself.

When Sharon and Rusty reached the restaurant, they were seated at a table outside overlooking the beach. "Damn, Mom, when you have a day off, you don't fool around," Rusty commented when his milkshake and her glass of wine arrived. His eyes widened when another thought occurred to him. "Oh, my god, you probably couldn't wait to have the condo to yourself this weekend. I'm sor—"

"Stop, Rusty, you can come home any time, no matter what. It's okay...And it'll be even more okay if you let me have some of your milkshake."

Rusty managed a small smile. "Why do you think I ordered the biggest one they have? I knew you'd drink half of it."

"I have never drunk half of your milkshake. A couple of sips, tops."

Rusty watched as his milkshake level dwindled as Sharon took a long 'sip.' "Easy, Mom, I think they might have more if you decide to order your own, for once."

Sharon gave the glass a rueful look. "I'm losing credibility here, aren't I?"

"Just a little."

Sharon took another sip and gave the glass back. "Well, you know how this works. If I don't order it, then it doesn't count."

"Even if you drink half?"

"Exactly. Not that I've ever done that."

Rusty rolled his eyes. "Right." After they'd eaten, he got Sharon's beach bag out of her car while she paid the bill and met her on the beach. "I'm glad we did this. We haven't come to the beach in forever."

"Me, too." Sharon sat on her towel and applied sunscreen, not knowing how long they would be there. She passed the tube to Rusty when she was finished. "Don't forget your—"

"Ears. I know." Rusty stuck the sunscreen back in her bag when he was finished with it and leaned back on his elbows, staring out at the ocean. It always made him feel so small. Sharon had pulled out her book and was reading, sprawled out and enjoying the sun like a cat. He watched her out of the corner of his eye for a few moments. She'd never told him, but if he had to guess, then she'd probably dealt with infidelity with Jack. And it wasn't like they could "just break up" and move on with their lives. They'd been married and had children. She hadn't told him much at all about her life with Jack, but he'd heard bits and pieces. He knew it had been difficult for her to rid herself of his financial problems, and the biggest complaint he'd heard from her was that he wasn't there for Emily and Ricky while they were growing up, or even now. He knew it had to be really bad for infidelity to not even seem to be a blip on her radar. How she could still be so civil to Jack was beyond him. "I'm sorry, Mom. I'm acting like this is the end of the world, but I still have people who love me, and there are plenty of people who have it a lot worse than I do."

Sharon marked her place in her book and closed it before she sat up. "Rusty. No matter what you're going through, there will always be someone out there who has it worse than you do. That doesn't make your feelings any less legitimate. This isn't an easy thing to deal with, and it's okay to do whatever you need to do to get through it."

Rusty nodded. Sharon could be so infuriating sometimes. She was the reason that he still had people who loved him and a reason to get up the next day. He'd almost rather her tell him to suck it up and realize that he still had an amazing life, with or without Gus. Or tell him how much worse her life with Jack had been than what he was going through now to give him some perspective. Instead, she was letting him wallow and acting like he was being perfectly reasonable about something that, in the long run, wouldn't be a big deal. A little while later, they begrudgingly agreed that it was probably time to go, so they shook the sand out of their beach towels and headed back to Sharon's car.

When they got home, Rusty took a shower while Sharon started dinner. When he was dressed again, he found her on the balcony with a glass of wine. They sat in comfortable silence for a while before Sharon got up to get dinner out of the oven. She did that thing where she put her hands on his cheeks and gave him a look that he could never quite identify. "Love you." She patted his shoulder and turned to go inside. "Dinner will be ready in a few minutes."

"Love you, Mom." Rusty sat outside for a little while longer before going inside to eat. He cheered up a little when he saw that Sharon had cooked his favorite meal, but he felt guilty, too. She wouldn't have taken the time to cook if he hadn't been there. "This looks great, Mom, but we could've ordered in. I'm sure you didn't want to cook this weekend."

"Don't worry about it, honey. I wish I could do more to help you feel better, but time is all that will really help." Sharon fixed two plates and took them to the table.

Rusty eyed his plate as Sharon put it in front of him. "I don't know, Mom, you're not half bad at this."

Early Sunday afternoon, Sharon and Rusty were on the couch with bowls of ice cream and watching a movie. They'd spent much of Saturday the same way. Rusty's phone dinged with a text message, and he rolled his eyes when he read it. "Gus 'feels so bad about what happened that he hasn't slept all weekend.' Like, am I supposed to feel sorry for that shit? And how does he think I've been sleeping? If only he could've not done something to prevent this...Oh, wait..."

Sharon gave him a sympathetic smile. "Have you responded to Gus at all since Thursday night?"

Rusty shook his head. "I don't have anything to say to him. He knows how I feel about this, and that hasn't changed since we talked about it a while ago. I could've dealt with basically anything else he could've done, but...I'll never be able to trust him again."

Sharon started to respond, but Andy came in the door, interrupting her thoughts. He was obviously surprised to see Rusty, as they hadn't expected him to be back from Napa until late Sunday evening. Sharon slightly shook her head, hoping he would get the message not to say anything.

"Um, I'm going to take a shower," Rusty said hastily. He gave Sharon a meaningful look before he walked down the hall, giving her permission to tell Andy why he was already home. That wasn't anything he cared to have to explain again. Andy turned toward Sharon, waiting for an explanation.

"He found out Gus has been sleeping with his boss," Sharon explained quietly.

"Oh, wow...I wasn't expecting that." Andy ran his hand over his face. "Poor kid."

"I know." Sharon tucked her legs under her. The words she'd just said struck another nerve with her, and she couldn't figure out why. The closer they got to the wedding, the more she started agonizing over tiny things, and it was driving her crazy. She felt uncertain about the future in general, and she didn't know if it was because of the recent change in LAPD leadership, her and Andy's upcoming nuptials, or a combination of both. After the headache of the most recent case, thanks to Chief Mason's "new vision" of Major Crimes, she'd resolved to continue working just long enough to retire with the benefits of her Commander status. So far, he hadn't been the ally she'd thought he was going to be. She didn't know yet if she'd actually stick with that decision, but it sure sounded good at the time. There was a lot going on, and she needed to take some time to mentally sort through it all. She just hadn't found the time yet.

Rusty started the shower and got a towel and some clean clothes. He dragged his feet as he moved back and forth between the bathroom and his bedroom, thinking that things couldn't possibly get any worse. He had no idea that things were just getting started.


	2. Chapter 2

Monday morning, a week later

Sharon sat in a bar stool, still in her pajamas and with wet hair, and sipped her coffee, enjoying the few quiet moments before Andy and Rusty would be trying to get themselves out the door. She had a meeting at 10:00 and nothing pressing before then, so she'd decided to stay home later than usual and enjoy having part of the morning to herself. Mornings like this and afternoons where she could leave work earlier than normal because they didn't have a case made the long hours and sleepless nights when they did have a case worth it. The closer it got to Andy and Rusty having to leave, the more chaotic it always seemed to get, and it didn't take long for that to kick in. "Mooooooom, my pants are wrinkled!"

"Sharon, where'd I put my tie? I just had it!"

"It's on the bed!" Sharon answered Andy from the kitchen. "Rusty, look in the dry-cleaning Andy brought home last night. You probably have a suit in there."

"But I wanted to wear this one!" Rusty whined from his room.

"And I want a fiancée and a grown son who can get themselves dressed in the morning without my help like big boys! Just find a suit and get dressed!" Sharon poured herself another cup of coffee, hoping she'd bought herself a couple of minutes of peace.

No such luck. Andy stuck his head into the kitchen. "Where on the bed?"

Sharon summoned every ounce of willpower she had to keep herself from slamming her coffee cup on the counter. Some mornings made her wonder how Andy had ever managed to dress himself before he moved in with her. "Are you kidding me?! You came in here just to ask me that? Where on the bed? How many places on the bed could it possibly be? Take two seconds and look!" (A/N: This may sound ridiculous, but this part was inspired by a real-life conversation between my sister and brother-in-law (and many others like it))

"Okay, okay," Andy grumbled as he stepped back into the bedroom. "Found it!"

Sharon rolled her eyes and took a long gulp of coffee. No wonder you're a detective. She could've given him a little bit of credit if the bed hadn't already been made or if there were a lot of other stuff on it, but the outfit she'd laid out for herself and a couple of stray pillows were the tie's only competition. Andy and Rusty were both soon dressed and inhaling bowls of cereal before they rushed out the door. After giving them their respective kisses and seeing them out the door, she made breakfast for herself and took it and her coffee out to the balcony.

The mid-October morning was a little chilly, so Sharon grabbed a blanket on her way out. She ate her breakfast and sipped her coffee for a little while until it was time to go inside and finish getting herself ready. She was starting to pull herself out of her lounge chair when her phone started ringing. It was an LA number that she didn't recognize, and she was tempted to let it go to voicemail. She decided to answer at the last minute and found herself speaking with someone from the radiology department at Cedars. She was slightly taken aback to learn that she needed to go back for more tests because of an abnormal mammogram, but she still wasn't that worried. She had friends and family members who had received the same call before, and it had turned out to be dense breast tissue, a cyst, or some other benign cause. She was sure it would be the same for her. She agreed to come back on Friday for further imaging tests, ended the call, and went inside to get ready for work.

The nerves didn't really start to hit Sharon until Thursday night. She hadn't said anything to anyone, partly because her recent google education had taught her that it was likely to be something benign, and partly because she remembered how worried she'd been during the uncertain stages of Andy's recent health scares, and she didn't see the point in getting anyone worked up about something that was probably nothing. After spending most of her adult life with with an absent "husband," it hadn't been one of her first instincts to tell Andy, anyway. But should it have been? She worried sometimes that she didn't really know how to be part of a functional relationship. Her relationship with Andy mirrored her relationship with Jack in so many ways, and not just because of the alcoholism. A big difference there was that Andy was committed to remaining sober, while Jack had started and stopped too many times for her to count.

Andy came in from the bathroom and started kissing her in a manner that indicated that he had more on his mind than just a goodnight kiss. She indulged him for a couple of minutes before pushing him away. "Not tonight, Andy, please."

"Oh, um, okay...Are you okay?"

"Fine. I'm just tired." Sharon turned over and pulled the covers up to her shoulders. While she liked to cuddle a little bit on the couch watching TV or in bed post-coital activities, she didn't want anyone touching her when it was time to go to sleep. She wasn't above putting a piece of tape down the center of the bed and saying this is my side, that is your side, don't cross that line unless you have a death wish, but she'd finally worked up the courage to ask Andy to stay on his side of the bed after a few sleepless nights of sharing her bed. They definitely hadn't been the good kind of sleepless nights.

Andy didn't think it sounded like the brand of "fine" that meant that he was supposed to figure out what was wrong, but, regardless of its various possible meanings, "fine" usually frightened him into keeping his mouth shut. Sorry, it's just been a while didn't seem to be a safe response at the moment. "Okay. Um...Good Night."

Sharon's tone softened when she spoke again. "Good Night, Andy. Love you."

"I love you." Andy leaned over and kissed her chastely on the cheek before going to sleep.

Sharon tossed and turned as Andy slept beside her. She'd envied his ability to fall asleep quickly since his first non-health-obligatory overnight stay. Should she have told him what was going on? Honesty was very important to her, but she wasn't really trying to hide anything. She'd tell Andy about it once all of the testing was over, even if everything turned out to be okay. Even if it were to go so far as to require a biopsy, she knew a majority of those results were benign, so she didn't see the need in telling anyone right now and having them worry over what was likely nothing. It was the waiting part that discouraged her from telling him now. Well, that and the fact that he was annoyingly overprotective sometimes. She'd had a cold a couple of months ago, and she could hardly keep him off of her back. She couldn't imagine how he'd be acting now if he knew, and she wanted normalcy for as long as possible. But, would she be angry with Andy if the situation were reversed? A week ago, she would have answered that question with a resounding yes. It was different now that the three-inch Blahnik was on the other foot.

Giving up on sleep for the time being, she slipped out of bed and locked herself in the bathroom. Like she'd done several times in the last couple of days, she discarded her nightgown on the floor and just stared at her breasts in the mirror for a few moments before looking down and examining them closely. Dr. Hughes obviously hadn't noticed anything suspicious, and she doubted that she was going to see or feel anything that he hadn't. That didn't stop her from peering closely at her skin and prodding at each breast from every possible angle, though. She was doing this more for reassurance than anything else.

A few minutes later, Sharon decided to get a glass of water and go back to bed. She left through the door to the hall and peeked into Rusty's room. Despite his closed blinds, she could see his face from the slivers of street lights that managed to make it into his room. He was still dejected about the Gus situation, and she didn't blame him. She watched him sleep for a few moments and couldn't help but think of how she was going to shake up life as he knew it even further soon. She was going to have to tell him about Stroh soon, and she wasn't looking forward to that. She hoped that would be the only piece of bad news she'd have to deliver in the near future, but she had no way of knowing yet.

Early Friday afternoon, Sharon was able to slip out of work undetected. Andy and Provenza had taken a late lunch, and it wasn't uncommon for her to leave early on Fridays when they didn't have a case. When she arrived at the radiology department at Cedars, she was surprised to be directed to a different waiting room than she'd been in before. The mood in this one was much more somber than the other one. As she looked around, she realized that the other women were in the same position she was—all they knew was that they'd had an abnormal screening mammogram and needed a diagnostic one. While the statistics for an abnormal mammogram not meaning cancer had looked encouraging online, they didn't seem so promising as Sharon gazed around the room. Of the ten women in the waiting room, at least one of them would likely end up with bad news by the time all of the testing was complete. That thought was a bit unnerving, and she was relieved to hear her name called.

Once Sharon had answered a litany of questions, traded her blouse for a gown, and was standing in front of a mammogram machine, the technician positioned her left breast on the cold metal. Seriously, what was so hard about warming these things up a little bit first? It looked a little different than what she was used to, and the first thing she noticed was that the plate that would be crushing her was smaller than usual. She hoped that meant that it would hurt less.

"All right, Mrs. Raydor, please hold your right breast away from the machine, and stay as still as you can," the technician kindly instructed. Sharon obeyed and tried not to wince as the machine did its job. Despite the smaller plate, the procedure was actually more painful and uncomfortable than it usually was. When she thought it was finished, the technician had her stand at slightly different angles and repeated the procedure a few more times. When it really was over and the technician had confirmed with the radiologist that no more images were needed, Sharon got dressed again and followed the technician to a smaller waiting room. "Dr. Goldstein is going over your results, and she'll review them with you in fifteen to thirty minutes."

Sharon thanked her and pulled out her phone, intending to read. Instead, her mind drifted to the reasons she'd convinced herself that she didn't have cancer. She had no family history or other risk factors, and she'd nursed both Emily and Ricky as babies, which reduced her risk. She'd only nursed Emily for the minimum recommended time, but she found that she missed it when she stopped, despite the hassle, and she also missed not having to pay for formula. With Ricky, she'd planned to try to nurse for a year to avoid having to buy formula, but when he climbed in her lap and tried to pull her breast out of her dress as a ten-month-old, the pump that had been reserved for when she was at work or outings where she needed to pump a bottle first immediately became his exclusive source of milk. She was mostly only nursing him in the mornings, before bed, and on weekends where they were home during the day. He hadn't been successful at pulling her out of her dress, but it had still been awkward and uncomfortable, as he'd decided to wait until they were at her boss's Christmas party to try that for the first time. She'd fed him at home an hour before that happened, but she figured that the crowd of people had made him nervous enough to make him want to nurse for comfort. The older he got, the more he tried to use her for a human pacifier, but this was the first time he'd tried that. She didn't care for it to happen again, so that had been her sign that it was time to switch to bottles full-time.

Sharon put her phone away, knowing she wouldn't be reading. Her mind was now full of images of Emily and Ricky as babies. She remembered how sweet it was for them to gaze up at her as they ate, with a tiny hand grasping each side of her breast and chomping down like she was going to take it away from them. And how infuriating it was for Jack to be snoring beside her, his slumber unaffected by the hungry infant who had woken up screaming in the middle of the night. She'd always held them like a football while they fed, cradled against her side and parallel to her legs, so she could watch their little expressions. She was pulled from her thoughts when her name was called again.

Pulling herself back to reality, Sharon got up and followed the technician to Dr. Goldstein's office and sat down. After introducing themselves, the radiologist opened a file and showed her a series of images across her desk. Sharon pulled her chair closer to the desk so she could see better.

"First of all, these are your three most recent screening mammograms for your right breast. As you can see, they're all consistent," Dr. Goldstein said, pointing at each image with a pen. "I'm showing you these because we only saw a reason to perform a diagnostic mammogram on your left breast, and many people ask why we don't do both, just to make sure. If both breasts had looked like this after your screening mammogram this time, then you wouldn't have received a call-back at all." Sharon nodded and hummed in understanding, so the doctor put those images away and pushed several more closer to Sharon. "These were your last two normal screening mammograms for your left breast, and this is your most recent one." Dr. Goldstein indicated an area for Sharon to look at with her pen. There was a small white patch that wasn't present on the other images. "This is the area that concerns me, so we took a closer look and got some better images of it today. I'm still not able to rule out breast cancer, but there's still a good chance that there is a benign cause for this. I just couldn't tell definitively from the images taken today." Sharon watched the doctor as she spoke, trying to figure out what she was really thinking about the results in front of her. "I'd like to do an ultrasound, and depending upon the sonographer's findings, I may be able to tell you that you don't need further testing. Otherwise, I'll send all of the results to your doctor's office as soon as I've reviewed your ultrasound results, which will be before close of business today. If that's the case, then you should hear from your doctor's office by Monday or Tuesday of next week. I'll go ahead and tell you that he'll probably recommend a biopsy, but eighty percent of those are benign. If we can't rule out anything today, then that doesn't mean that there's anything to worry about yet. Any questions?"

"What can the ultrasound tell you that the mammogram didn't?" Sharon asked.

"Mostly whether the mass is solid or fluid. If the sonographer believes it's fluid, then I'll confirm it and let you know before you leave. If that's the case, then you won't need any further testing. If it's solid, there's still a good chance that it's benign, but you'll need to follow up with your doctor."

A few minutes later, Sharon was lying on a bed in an exam room with her left arm over her head as the sonographer applied gel and ran a small device over her breast. At least this ultrasound didn't require a full bladder like a couple of hers while she was pregnant with Emily and Ricky had. She cringed inwardly as she remembered how close she'd come to peeing all over the exam table during one of them. She'd taken the nurse's advice to come with a full bladder a little too seriously that time. Much like she'd done with Dr. Goldstein, she watched the sonographer's expression as she watched the screen during the ultrasound. She couldn't tell what she was thinking, though. These people had some serious poker faces.

"All right, Mrs. Raydor, we're finished. Dr. Goldstein will send your results to your doctor in the next hour or so, and you should hear from them early next week. I'll get this gel off of you, and then you can get dressed and check out at the front desk." Sharon took this to mean that the mass appeared to be solid, so she thanked her and didn't ask any questions.


	3. Chapter 3

Sharon met with Dr. Hughes late Monday afternoon, and he mostly just confirmed what the radiologist had already told her, then offered additional reassurances and support. His staff had made an appointment for her to have the biopsy done at Cedars on Wednesday. Because of the location of the mass, he told her that she would be sedated for the procedure and would need to take someone with her to drive her home. Because she was over 45, she needed a recent CBC blood test and an EKG before she could be sedated. A CBC had been part of her routine bloodwork at her last appointment, but she had to get an EKG before she left his office. Once all of that was done and she was driving home, she had to decide whom to ask to take her and how to present the information. She still wasn't ready for Andy to undoubtedly hover over her, so she was going to have to be a little dishonest this time, as much as that bothered her. Scheduling-wise, Rusty was the best bet. He only had one night class on Mondays and Wednesdays and none at all on Fridays, and she knew he'd been using those days to bank extra internship hours so he'd have more free time at the end of the semester. He occasionally took one of those days off, though, so she didn't think he'd mind taking her. It would also be easier to freak him out with "female stuff" and be vague about her procedure without him asking any questions. Andy would definitely have some questions, and he was helping with a training course at the Academy on Wednesday, so he wouldn't notice she wasn't at work.

Andy was eating dinner with Provenza after work, so Sharon picked up take-out for her and Rusty on the way home. Rusty was finishing up some last-minute homework for his class when she got home. "Awesome, I'm starving." He got out plates and silverware for both of them while Sharon unpacked the boxes.

"I know, I'm hungry, too." Sharon paused for a moment. "Rusty, I have to have a follow-up procedure done on Wednesday. It's not a big deal, but I'll have to be sedated for it, so I won't be able to drive myself home. Would you mind taking me?"

Rusty's eyes widened. "Why? What's it for? I mean, I can take you, but are you okay?"

"It's just female stuff," Sharon said, giving him a meaningful look. "I'm okay." As far as I know. I might have cancer.

"Ick. No further questions, Your Honor."

Sharon rolled her eyes. "You've been spending too much time with Andrea."

Rusty scarfed down his dinner and got his things together for class. "I'll be home a little after 9." He walked over to Sharon and impulsively gave her a hug. "Love you, Mom."

"I love you, honey." Sharon held him for a few moments and kissed his forehead. "Be careful." Once he was gone, she threw away the take-out boxes and put their dishes in the dishwasher. She figured she had just enough time to take a bath before Andy got home, so she put in the bath salts he loved for her to use and let the bathwater run while she poured a larger-than-normal glass of wine and dug through her drawers for the navy chemise that could get him aroused from another time zone. She'd been annoyed with him for various reasons lately, and there were times when she started to second-guess their engagement, so she hadn't exactly been in the mood lately, or even willing to indulge him, despite not really wanting to herself. She knew he was getting frustrated, but her state of mind just made it seem weird. She didn't want to have to deal with his temporarily-unwanted advances after Wednesday when she'd be a nervous wreck waiting for results, though, and she knew that having sex tonight would stave him off for a few days, so she was going to put her thoughts on the back burner for the evening and make up for lost time. She'd also get points for initiating it. Even times where she was willing to be the one to get it started, he usually managed to beat her to the punch.

When the bathwater was almost high enough for Sharon to get in, she shed her clothes and tied her hair up before lowering herself into the water. She took a large sip of wine, laid her head back, and closed her eyes. The warm water, soothing scent of the bath salts, and wine seemed to do the trick to help her relax, and she was in a much better mood by the time she climbed out. She carefully dried herself off just enough for her to not be dripping wet, made sure she was properly cleaned up and ready, and slipped the chemise over her head. By the time she'd brushed her teeth, picked up a random book from her dresser, and positioned herself on the bed, she heard the door open and Andy's keys being dropped into the bowl. Perfect timing. "Sharon?"

"In here," she answered, trying to sound disinterested. "I think I might finally finish this book tonight."

Andy groaned inwardly. So much for taking advantage of the kid being in class for a couple of hours. Being turned down before he even had his jacket off had to be a new record. "Okay, uh, well I'm just going to change clothes and turn the game on..." he took his time getting his jacket off and loosening his tie as he walked toward the bedroom, as there clearly wasn't a reason to be in any kind of hurry. Unfortunately. "You left early—oh, my god." His breath caught in his throat when he entered their room. The aroma from her bath had spread into the bedroom, and Sharon was wearing that lacy thing that made him quiver. Her skin glistened, and he could tell she was still a little wet from her bath. That was odd, since he'd never known her not to dry herself off completely after a bath or shower, but...Damn. He certainly wasn't complaining. She was looking down at an open book, but didn't really seem to be reading. He picked up the pace in getting undressed, but didn't want to seem like he expected anything. Why else would she be wearing that thing, though? She knew what it did to him. "Do you, uh, I mean—"

Sharon took her glasses off and put them in her nightstand drawer. "If you're not over here in thirty seconds, then I'm starting without you."

"How is that even—never mind." Now wasn't the time for questions. Andy slammed the door and hurriedly stripped down to his boxers before practically pouncing on her. He didn't know whether to kiss her or just inhale the scent of her damp skin first.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Sharon teased, gripping him through his boxers. "I mean, didn't you want to watch the game?"

"That's why God gave us DVR...Damn, that bath stuff always smells amazing on you." And the lingering moisture on her skin brought a whole new dimension to that. Andy threw the book Sharon had been "reading" on the floor and kissed her with more passion than he had since the last time the Rams and the Dodgers won on the same sex-accessible day. God, October was a beautiful month for sports. And victory celebrations. He should've known something was up when he got home and didn't find her on the couch, screaming at the TV. The good kind of up. On multiple levels. They somehow ended up sideways on the bed as they found their rhythm and started to heat up, which Andy didn't realize until he felt his foot come in contact with a lamp and instantly heard it crash on the floor. "Shit."

"It's okay. I've been meaning to buy new lamps, anyway. It's a little too pink in here for me," Sharon said hastily before getting back to the task at hand.

Meanwhile, a highly-annoyed Rusty had arrived on campus just to receive an email that class was canceled. When he got home, he got something to drink and looked around for Sharon to voice his frustration with his professor waiting so long to cancel class. The living room was empty, so he figured she was in the bathroom and was looking for the TV remote when he heard a muffled scream from her room. Since she'd asked him to take her to the doctor later that week, he started to worry that something was wrong with her. He hadn't paid attention to whether Andy's car was in its space, so he didn't know if he was home yet. He heard a moan next and worried that she was in pain. He jumped up and started for her room, but froze in his tracks when that theory was proven wrong in the most disgusting way possible.

"There! Just a little harder..."

"Any harder and I'll hurt you!"

"You won't, Andy, I promise! Please..."

"Ohmygod Ohmygod Ohmygod Ohmygod Ohmygod Ohmygod," Rusty mumbled under his breath as he hurried back to the couch. Why it took so damn long for him to get the hell away from the door, he'll never know. He curled into a ball and buried one ear against the back of the couch while pressing a pillow to his other ear. He was too freaked out for it to occur to him to leave, or even go out on the balcony. He couldn't move. Did they seriously jump into bed every time he left the condo?! They were old people, not a couple of teenagers! Until now, he'd thought of them as human stick figures with just empty space where, uh, stuff was supposed to be. He'd never allowed himself to think about whether they had sex or didn't have sex, as both options would be weird, although one would be much less disturbing. Oh, god. This was a nightmare. He didn't know how long he'd been huddled on the couch before he finally thought to go out to the balcony until it was safe to go inside again. He wanted his earphones, though, so he shoved his hands against his ears and started down the hall to get them from his desk. He froze again when Sharon's door opened and he was face to face with a buck-ass naked Andy. They both gasped and just stared at each other for a few moments before Rusty did a 180, ran back into the living room, and flopped stomach-first over the back of the couch.

The glass of water Andy had intended to get when he left the room, never expecting Rusty to be home yet, was long-forgotten. "Ohmygod Ohmygod Ohmygod Ohmygod Ohmygod."

Sharon came in from the bathroom on the third "ohmygod" and gave Andy a questioning look. "What?" The post-sex smirk that had been on his face a minute ago had been replaced with panic. "Andy! What?!"

Andy sighed and ran his hand over his face. "We're going to have to talk about putting a sock on the door or something before we do that again when the kid's supposedly not here." They'd certainly done it while Rusty was home before, but it was usually later at night when he was in his room with his earphones in, or early in the morning before he was awake. And they knew to keep it down and not to leave the bedroom unclothed.

Sharon looked confused. "Wha—nooo! How long has he been here?!"

Andy shrugged. "I have no idea. He had his hands clamped to his ears and looked a little nauseous, though, so I'd say long enough. Or too long. However you want to look at it."

Sharon covered her face with both hands, just wishing the floor would swallow her whole. "Ohmygod Ohmygod Ohmygod Ohmygod Ohmygod."

"I know, right?"

"You left the room like that?!" Sharon chastised as she pulled on a pair of yoga pants and tried to find her bra.

"How the hell was I supposed to know he was already back?! And the fact that his hands were covering his ears was all you."

Sharon bit her lip sheepishly. "I don't know, Andy, just...Oh, god. This is a disaster." She found her bra on the floor near the bathroom and threw it on before pulling a sweatshirt over her head. "All right. I'm going in."

"You're going out there?!" Andy asked, sounding horrified.

"I have to, Andy, and so do you. We can't stay in here forever."

"Why not?" Andy huffed.

"Did he, um..."

Andy shrugged. "I think he was too freaked out to see anything. If he did, he's probably already blocked it out."

Sharon nodded. "Okay. Let's go." She grabbed Andy's hand and pulled him behind her when he didn't move. She approached the couch, but Andy stayed a safe distance behind. "Honey, I'm so so—"

Rusty turned his head just enough to keep his words from being muffled. "Stop, Mom, please don't acknowledge it. It'll be real then." Sharon tilted her head and looked confused. "I can just pretend that Andy's, like, a closet nudist. And that he was just, like, talking you through a nightmare or something. I mean, just a little harder can mean all kinds of stuff, right?" Sharon's face flushed to a deep crimson. Rusty sighed dramatically. "Mom, please, just leave me alone so I can properly block this out."

"Okay, but what are you doing home so soon, anyway? Everything okay?"

Rusty nodded. "Class was canceled at the last minute...Oh, god, I can't look at you guys right now." He got off of the couch and nearly broke into a run getting back to his room.

Andy couldn't help it. His face broke into a grin, and he struggled not to laugh, which earned him a glare from Sharon. "This isn't funny, Andy!"

Later that night, after they'd gotten in bed, Sharon was still preoccupied with the evening's events. Rusty would get over it after some dramatic sulking, of course, but she felt terrible. No one, of any age, wants to hear their mom having sex. She was trying to walk herself through it from Rusty's point of view, and when she got to the part where he and Andy met in the hall, trying to imagine the look on Rusty's face was really funny all of a sudden. A giggle threatened to escape, and her shoulders were shaking from trying to laugh as quietly as she could.

Andy looked over at Sharon's shaking form, confused. It seemed like she was crying, but she never did that around him. When she was thinking about a tough case, or for some other reason even thought that she was close to crying, then she would get out of bed and go to either the living room or the balcony, depending upon whether she thought Andy was asleep. He debated whether to say something to her or pat her back or something, but he doubted she would want to call any attention to herself if she were crying. When he heard her snort, though, he realized that she was far from crying. "Are you laughing?! I thought this wasn't funny!"

"It's not! But...Oh, my god, just tell me what his face looked like when you guys met in the hall."

Andy grinned. "Ohhhh, you missed out. It was a good one. Remember last Christmas when Emily was whining about having her period and Rusty freaked out, so she got a tampon out of her purse and chased him with it? This was about three levels of freaked out over that."

Sharon laughed even harder. "I didn't think there could possibly be another level of freaked out!" She was wiping tears of laughter from her eyes when her phone dinged with a text message. This isn't one damn bit funny, Mom! "All right. We have got to find a house," Sharon said, showing the text from Rusty to Andy.

On Wednesday morning, Rusty worked on a paper in the waiting room while Sharon's biopsy was being performed. He'd been avoiding looking at the pamphlets on the table beside him, as their contents seemed to be a bit breast-heavy, but one of them said something about procedures, so he put his computer in the chair beside him and opened the pamphlet, wondering if he could figure out what Sharon was having done. Being in the hospital and the atmosphere of the waiting room made him feel like her procedure was a little more serious than she'd made it out to be. He could honestly say that he never thought he'd set foot in a place that had the words "breast center" in its name.

A couple of hours after she'd left him there, he heard his name called by a nurse. He followed her back to a room, and Sharon was dressed and lying on a bed. She looked pale and just out of it. "Hey, Mom. You okay?" Sharon nodded drowsily. She'd slept on and off during the procedure, despite not being completely put under. Rusty got her purse and wrapped his other arm around her. "Let's go home."

On the way home, Rusty stopped to get lunch for them. He was pretty sure he'd figured out what she'd had done, and if he was going to ask her about it, then he had to do it now. He wanted to take advantage of her drowsy state, and he didn't know how much longer it would last. Although he knew she was a private person, now that he had an idea of what was happening, he couldn't wait until she got around to telling him. He was afraid she might even try to keep whatever was happening from him completely. He finally took a deep breath and went for it, which he never would've done if she hadn't been so out of it. "Mom? Did you have a biopsy this morning?"

Sharon tried to look surprised, but she was too sleepy to react properly. "What?! No! How did you know?!"

"Waiting room pamphlets. What the hell is going on?!"

Sharon sighed. "I just have a mass that they couldn't identify without doing a biopsy. I'm probably fine."

Rusty nodded. He'd given up on his paper after looking through a couple of pamphlets and spent the rest of the time googling biopsies. "But, like, over half of biopsies turn out to be nothing, right?" Sharon gave him an odd look. "What?! You think I can't use google?!"

"I'm sorry, honey. You just don't need to worry about it. You're right, which is exactly why I didn't tell anyone."

Rusty's eyes widened. "You didn't even tell Andy?!"

"Just to have him hover over me until I was told that it was nothing? No, I didn't."

Rusty smirked. "You're one to talk about hovering," he muttered.

The following Monday, Sharon received the phone call she'd been waiting for. She, Andy, and Rusty were eating dinner, so she took her phone out to the balcony before she answered it. Rusty could tell what the call had been about the second Sharon came back inside with tears in her eyes. "Shit, Mom," he murmured before pulling her into his arms.

"What?!" Andy demanded.

"They...think...it's...an early stage," Sharon gasped between sobs.

"What?!" Andy asked again, getting frustrated.

"Mom has breast cancer," Rusty answered in a monotone.


	4. Chapter 4

I just, uh, need a few minutes," Sharon said, pulling away from Rusty and trying to steady her voice. She went back to her room and climbed in bed, hugging a pillow as she tried to gather her thoughts. She felt numb. Despite the low odds, of course she knew this was a possibility, but her thoughts about the aftermath of a cancer diagnosis had centered around breaking the news to Andy and her family and getting them through it. She hadn't really thought about how she would feel herself at this moment. The kitchen was silent for a few moments before she heard Andy's and Rusty's muffled voices from the kitchen. She couldn't make out what they were saying, but she guessed Rusty was bringing him up to speed with what little information he knew. When tears started to fill her eyes, she opened her nightstand drawer. Her hand knew exactly where to find her rosary without looking. She had several others, but this one was her favorite. Her grandmother had given it to her on the Sunday of her Confirmation. She removed it from its pouch and just held it. She'd say the prayer before she went to bed as usual, but for now, she clung to it for comfort as she tried to clear her head and come to terms with the near future. As fortunate as she felt that the cancer was deemed to be in the early stages, there were still no guarantees, and she felt like her body was betraying her.

Andy was too stunned to say anything until after Sharon left the room. "Wait, what?!" He looked toward their bedroom as he thought back on the moments before Sharon left the room. It was mostly a blur. "Was I supposed to follow her? How...Oh, my god."

Rusty wiped his eyes and took a few steadying breaths. "I think she just wants to be alone. She would've given me the 'get out' look if she just wanted me out of the room." His voice broke, and he paused for a few moments before continuing to speak. "She asked me to take her to a 'follow-up procedure that was no big deal' last Wednesday, because she had to be sedated and couldn't drive home after. She probably asked me because she knew she could weird me out with 'female stuff.' I didn't think much of it until I got freaked out in the waiting room and started looking at pamphlets. I figured out that it was a biopsy and asked her about it on the way home. She probably only told me because she was so out of it from being sedated. She didn't tell a soul otherwise."

"But—"

"She just wanted things to be normal for all of us as long as possible, Andy. Her chances of it not being cancer were good, but you know we would've been freaked out and treated her like she was already sick since...I guess whenever the extra testing started. She didn't tell me anything except that she had a mass and that cancer couldn't be ruled out without a biopsy." Rusty wrinkled his nose. "She didn't say anything about, um, mammograms," he said, looking like he had a bad taste in his mouth, "but, from what I read, she probably had a regular one after her physical a couple of weeks ago and had to go back for a different kind when they found something. They still couldn't tell what it was, so she had to get a biopsy. Most of those still turn out to be nothing, but..." His voice trailed off. That obviously hadn't been the case this time.

Andy leaned against the counter and rested his forehead against his hands as he tried to wrap his mind around what was happening. He felt blindsided. Now that he thought about it, from Wednesday to Friday or Saturday, Sharon hadn't undressed in front of him at all, and he still hadn't seen her breasts up close since then. Now he knew why. He stood up a minute later and turned back to Rusty. He looked lost. Tears were filling his eyes again, and he was furiously wiping them away and struggling to keep further tears at bay. "Yeah. Okay. I can understand that." Andy hadn't been in a long-term relationship since Sandra, and their relationship had never been great to begin with. He realized that Sharon was in the same boat, probably even more so than he was. She didn't know how to handle giving a significant other news like this and was accustomed to having to handle everything by herself, and he didn't know how to react to the news. He understood that it had been hard for her, but he still wished she had told him after the first abnormal test. He hated that she had been carrying so much worry silently and alone. He fought every instinct to go into the bedroom after Sharon, but she wanted to be alone, and he needed to respect that. He still felt like he should be with her, but he didn't want to push her.

Andy and Rusty finished eating dinner and cleaned the kitchen, and Sharon still hadn't left the bedroom. Andy looked at the clock on the stove. "You're not going to class?"

Rusty shook his head. "The professor has to speak at some thing at school tonight, and we could've gone for extra credit, but I'm already doing well in the class. I wouldn't have gone to class, anyway, though, after that." They finished cleaning the kitchen in silence and then just stood in the kitchen, not knowing what to do next. It didn't feel right to turn the TV on or to do anything normal, but they couldn't stand in the kitchen and stare at each other until Sharon decided to come out, either. "I'm, um, going to check on Mom."

"Wait, let me—" Andy started, but Rusty was already out of the kitchen. He figured it was just as well. He wasn't sure he could keep himself from demanding to know why the hell she didn't tell him what was happening, as unimportant as that was right now, if he went in there.

Rusty peeked into Sharon's room. The light was off, and the soft glow from the lamp on her side of the bed cast a warm light over the room. He sat beside her on the bed and patted her back. "Hey, Mom? Take all the time you need, but...What happened to the lamp?" He was just now noticing that the lamp on Andy's side of the bed was missing.

Sharon sat up and looked in the direction of the now mostly-empty nightstand. "Andy kick—I mean, um, it...broke." She felt her cheeks heating up as a horrified look appeared on Rusty's face.

"Oh, my god, Mom! Seriously?! This is disgusting. Oh, gross."

Sharon chuckled as she pulled him into her arms. Now, this was normal. "Sorry, honey, but you're just going to have to get over it."

"Stop, Mom. Um, I'll leave you alone if you're not ready to talk, but if you wanted to tell Emily and Ricky tonight, it's getting late on the east coast, and Emily goes to bed early. But I'll—"

"No, I was about to get up. I need to tell you guys what's going to happen, anyway. I just needed a little while to myself first." Sharon put her rosary back in her nightstand and followed Rusty into the living room. Andy was still in the kitchen, but he came into the living room and pulled Sharon into a hug. He pressed his lips to her forehead and left them there for a few moments before she began to speak. "I'm sorry, Andy—"

"Not now, Sharon. We can talk about that later. I just want to know what's happening now. You'll be okay. We'll get through this."

Sharon squeezed Andy a little harder before pulling away from him and sitting on the couch. He and Rusty joined her, sitting on opposite sides of her, but trying not to overwhelm her. She took one of their hands in each of hers. "I got a call-back after my regular screening mammogram that I get every year for a diagnostic mammogram and an ultrasound. It was likely that it was a cyst or just dense tissue or something, but they still couldn't tell, so I had to get a biopsy. Most of those are still benign, and with so much waiting and uncertainty, I didn't want anyone else to worry, especially since it was likely that there was no need to worry. I still would've told you after the fact if it had been nothing, but I didn't want to worry anyone else in the meantime."

Andy nodded. "So, now what? And I didn't think doctors usually gave results like that over the phone?" It still bothered him that she hadn't told him, but he felt petty for dwelling on that, so he pushed it away for the time being.

"Dr. Hughes's nurse asked me to come in tomorrow morning to 'discuss my results,' and I knew what that meant. She would've just told me that everything was okay if that were the case and sent a letter explaining the actual results in the mail. She finally got Dr. Hughes because I wouldn't let her off of the phone, and I made him tell me. He didn't like it, but I knew I wouldn't sleep tonight without knowing everything he could tell me." Sharon paused for a moment. "We'll talk about options in the morning, but I'll probably have a lumpectomy later this week, and they'll also do a lymph node biopsy under my arm to make sure it hasn't spread. The tumor is small, so they think it's early and probably hasn't spread, but we won't know for sure until I get the results from that. If it's contained, then I'll probably have radiation to kill any remaining cells."

"Why not a mastectomy, and just let them go ahead and get everything?" Andy asked.

"And why not chemo? Isn't that stronger?" Rusty added.

"I'd rather not have a mastectomy if it's not necessary. It's more invasive and painful, which I'll gladly go through if I have to, but a lumpectomy and radiation will be just as effective if it's early enough," Sharon explained. "And, Rusty, chemo has its own risks. It's not a good idea if it's not needed yet. If it's bigger than they think, or if it comes back later, then I guess a mastectomy and/or chemo would be the next step, but that might not be necessary just yet."

"But, like, you'll be okay?" Rusty asked.

"There's no reason to believe I won't be."

"That doesn't sound exactly like yes," Rusty mumbled. He lay against Sharon's shoulder. "This sucks ass, Mom."

"Rusty—Yeah, it does, doesn't it?" Sharon agreed, not getting very far in her reprimand. Andy put his arm around her and rested his hand on Rusty's back. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Sharon begrudgingly got up. She had to tell Emily, Ricky, her parents, and her brother and sister, and she wanted some privacy. "I have some calls to make."

"The rest of your dinner is in the microwave, do you want to finish eating first?" Andy asked.

"Maybe later. I want to get this over with." Sharon got a blanket and walked outside with her phone. After similar conversations with her children, parents, and siblings, she sat by herself and just looked at the city lights for a few minutes. Emily and Ricky had been understandably upset, but while they knew people who'd had breast cancer, they didn't know anyone who had died from it. Her parents were the opposite and knew more people with it who had died than people who didn't, and her siblings' reactions were somewhere in between. The conversation with her parents had been the most difficult of them all, but she thought she'd quelled their fears by the time they were off of the phone. When she came back inside, Andy and Rusty committed to making the rest of the evening feel as normal as possible. They were all in slightly better spirits by the time Sharon and Andy went to bed.

Once the door was closed, Sharon pulled her sweater over her head and took her bra off. She couldn't help but stare down at her breasts before taking her pants off and putting her nightgown on. This was one of the last times she'd see them intact before one of them was cut into. Reading her thoughts, Andy finished putting his pajamas on and walked over to her. He could see the bruising on her left breast from the biopsy. It didn't look bad, but it had probably faded since the procedure. "So, this is, um, the one?" He asked, gently cupping her breast as he examined the irritated skin. He also noticed a small scar that he might not have seen if he hadn't been looking for it. Sharon nodded, and he peered more closely at her.

Sharon wrapped her hand around his wrist of the hand that was touching her. "This is the general area. It's small, and it's not that deep, but it's at an awkward location and has dense tissue around it, so I guess that's why I can't feel it. Dr. Hughes couldn't feel it during my exam, either." Andy wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on the top of her head. Sharon pulled away after a few moments and finished getting dressed for bed.

On Wednesday morning, Andy took Sharon to Cedars for her lumpectomy. After meeting with Dr. Hughes on Tuesday morning and actually being able to see her pathology results for themselves, they both felt a little better about her prognosis. In the pre-op area, Sharon changed into a gown and sat through the pre-procedure formalities. A pre-op dye was injected into her breast, which, combined with a blue dye injected at the beginning of the procedure, would help the doctor determine which lymph nodes needed to be removed. The nurse massaged the injection site to get the dye flowing. It had to get through her system before the procedure could start, as the lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy were being performed at the same time. An ultrasound to locate the tumor was done next, and a lump formed in her throat as the doctor drew on her breast with a felt-tip marker to note the incision site. It made everything seem even more real. A couple of hours after that, she finally had an IV in her arm and was being moved to the procedure room. She told the nurse that the room was a little chilly, so she gently helped her sit up and placed a warmed blanket under her, then helped her lie back down and draped a regular blanket over her as much as she could without it getting in the way of the procedure. "Are you warm enough? I can get another warmed blanket if you're still cold."

"No, that's better. Thank you."

"Time out," she heard the doctor announce. Sharon then had to confirm her identity, yet again, the procedure being performed, and the nurse confirmed some other details. As sedation kicked in, she was vaguely aware of her breast being wiped with something cold and then injected several times. The sedation was a bit stronger this time. She closed her eyes and achieved a light level of sleep. She was aware of the people around her and the feeling of pressure as the procedure was performed, but she was dreaming. She felt her left arm being lifted over her head and held in place at some point, and in what seemed like no time, she was stitched up and bandaged, and the IV was removed from her hand.

"All right, Mrs. Raydor, we're moving you into recovery. Do you need to use the restroom?" Sharon shook her head. She'd gone right before the procedure started. "Okay. We're almost to the recovery room, and you can have some water or tea and something to eat, if you want."

"Mmmmph." Sharon tried to go back to sleep, but it seemed like someone was offering her something to eat or drink or checking her temperature or blood pressure every time she somewhat dozed off. She was thirsty, so she accepted the water the first couple of times it was offered. She wasn't hungry enough to take the energy to eat, though. As she slowly became more alert, she became aware of the numbness of her breast and under her left arm. She didn't feel any pain, but the numbness was an odd sensation. She remembered being given pain medicine for when the numbness wore off at some point, but she couldn't remember how long the numbness was supposed to last. She had no idea how much time had passed when a nurse helped her into the sports bra and zip-down sweater she'd brought to wear home and left to get Andy.

"Okay, Mrs. Raydor, you're about ready to go, but you're still drowsy, so I thought you'd want someone else here while I give you instructions."

Sharon nodded as Andy kissed her cheek. "My pee's gonna be blue," she mumbled, giggling as she remembered the nurse telling her that when she was explaining how the dye worked that morning.

"Your what's going to be blue?!"

"Pee. Like, when I pee. Blue pee!" Sharon giggled again, but she hated the loss of control she felt over what she was saying. 'Pee' wasn't a topic she usually brought up in daily conversation.

The nurse chuckled at Andy's startled face. "The dye that was used for the sentinel node biopsy usually has that effect," she explained. "But just for a couple of days. And the sedation hangover often has the effect of people finding that hilarious. This isn't the first time I've heard the 'blue pee' conversation." She went on to explain how to care for the incision sites and warning signs to watch for. Sharon hoped to god that Andy was paying attention, because she was only getting bits and pieces. Okay, never mind, he was taking notes. Good.

Once Sharon was in the car, Andy stopped to pick up her prescription for pain medicine and took her home. She went straight to bed. When she woke up a little while later, she could smell dinner cooking. She went to the bathroom, but forgot about the 'blue pee' possibility before she flushed, and went to the kitchen. Andy looked up from the stove. "Hey, how are you feeling?" Ugh, she supposed she was going to have to get used to being asked that question over and over again.

"Not bad, just...weird. Uncomfortable," Sharon murmured, trying to adjust her sports bra under her sweater. She still felt numb, but she could tell it was starting to wear off, as dull pain was starting to form in parts of her breast and under her arm.

"Are you hurting? Do you think one of your incisions could be infected? Does either of them feel hot?"

Sharon rolled her eyes at Andy's overreaction. She should've just stuck with 'fine.' "No, Andy, this just isn't supposed the be the most comfortable thing in the world to deal with."

"I'm sorry. You're right. I just wish there were something I could do for you..." An idea to redeem himself hit him. Sharon had asked for 'normal,' so that's what she was going to get. "So, um, was it blue?" Not being fascinated with the prospect of blue pee would definitely not be normal.

Sharon looked confused. "Was what blue?"

"I thought I heard the toilet flush..."

Sharon's eyes widened as she remembered. "Oh, yeah. I didn't look...Oh, god, how long did I ramble about blue pee?!"

Andy grinned. "Not long, I promise. You weren't capable of talking too much...And how could you not look?!"

Sharon shrugged. "I didn't think about it."

Rusty came in the door then, and the 'blue pee' talk stopped. "Hey, Mom." He put his things down and gently hugged Sharon. "You okay?" He had wanted to go with them that morning, but Sharon had talked him into putting in some internship hours in case he was needed later. She doubted he would be too much, but that was what it took to convince him not to come.

"Yes, honey. I'll be fine."

That night, when Sharon came to bed from the bathroom, Andy looked at her expectantly. She rolled her eyes. "Yes, Andy, it was blue, okay?"

"Hey, if you hadn't told me about it, then I never would've known," Andy defended himself. "You found it funny at one time, too, you know."

"Yeah, when I felt like I was on drugs."

"So, can I, uh, see it next time? What?!" Andy asked, seeing Sharon's horrified expression. "I've never seen blue pee before!"

"Well, you're not seeing mine!"

"Fine, keep your blue pee to yourself. See if I care." Andy went to the kitchen for a glass of water and Sharon's prescription bottle.

"Andy..."

"Yes, you're taking this. It'll help you sleep, if nothing else." Andy fished out two pills and handed them and the water to Sharon. He placed the bottle on her nightstand and kissed her after she'd swallowed the pills. "Wake me up if you need anything. If you're hurting, or something doesn't feel right, then get me up. Or if you just can't get comfortable. Love you."

"I know, I know," Sharon huffed. "Love you. Thanks for taking me today."

"You couldn't have kept me away if you tried." Andy turned the light off and tried to read from the light from Sharon's lamp. They still hadn't replaced the broken lamp. Instead, he watched her out of the corner of his eye as she got out her rosary beads and silently went through the prayer ritual. She did this almost every night, but he'd never paid much attention before. Every now and then, she would mumble to herself, but he could never make out what she was saying. He'd grown up Catholic, but he hadn't prayed the rosary prayer since the last time someone made him do it. He didn't even own rosary beads. Sharon's expression softened as she went through the ritual, and he could tell she felt peaceful. She didn't seem to realize he was there.

The next morning, Andy stayed home with Sharon while Rusty was in class. She had to have someone with her for at least twenty-four hours following the procedure. He didn't know if she remembered that or not, so he didn't say anything. He was going to work when Rusty got back, as much as he hated to. Rusty had wanted to stay with her after class, and Andy wanted to make sure he felt involved, so he'd agreed to go to work when the kid got home from class. When he heard Sharon wake up and go to the bathroom, he softly called her name through the door. It was still early, and Rusty was probably still asleep. "No, Andy, you can't see it!"

"Come on, Sharon, it's blue pee!"

The toilet flushed and the sink turned on for a few moments before Sharon opened the door. "If I hear 'blue pee' again, I'm going to scream. Just buy some blue food coloring and put it in the toilet. Same effect."

"It is not the same!" Andy protested.

Sharon smiled, amused with his fascination. "I'm going back to bed...Yes, I'm okay. Just still a little groggy." Sleeping in a sports bra had taken some getting used to, and she hadn't slept very well, despite the medicine. Andy gave her a pain pill and crawled back in bed with her.

When Rusty got home soon after lunchtime, Andy left for work. "Hey, Mom..." His first instinct was to ask how she was feeling, but he knew that would drive her crazy before long. "I must've, like, had a crazy dream this morning. I could've sworn I heard you guys talking about blue pee."

Sharon forced a laugh. "That is crazy! I can't imagine what that could be about!"

"Yeah. Weird. Have you eaten lunch?"

"Yes. We went to the deli across the street. I was going stir-crazy."

"Okay. Um, do you need anything?" Sharon shook her head. She'd just taken more medicine and was feeling drowsy. Rusty sat beside her on the couch, and it didn't take long for her to fall asleep.

On Sunday morning, Sharon took a shower and got dressed for mass. She was feeling much better, only taking Tylenol occasionally for discomfort, and would be going back to work the next day. She took her time making breakfast for herself and sipping a cup of tea before she left, and she was surprised when Andy and Rusty came into the kitchen, dressed in their suits. "What—oh, come on, you guys don't want to go to mass! I told you! Just be normal. I'll never tell you not to go, but don't go just because of me." They both protested that they wanted to go, though, so they went to St. Joseph's as a threesome for the first time since Easter. Sharon had been looking forward to having that time to herself, but she wasn't complaining that they were with her, either.

Sharon looked around the sanctuary during the procession at the beginning of mass. Memories of Emily's and Ricky's baptisms, first communions, and confirmations came to her as she looked around. Jack had been there for the baptisms, but he was long gone by Emily's first communion. She thought of the countless Sundays from when Ricky was two or three until he was about five when she lived in fear of what might come out of his mouth during the children's moment. With Rusty sitting beside her, her thoughts next turned to sitting in mass with Emily on one side of her and Ricky on the other when they were teenagers and could finally be depended upon to sit through the service without her having to scold them for laughing or talking or any number of things.

As they stood for a congregational hymn further into the service, tears filled Sharon's eyes as a familiar tune began to play. It wasn't a traditional Catholic hymn like the ones from her childhood, but her grandmother had grown up Methodist and converted to Catholicism before she and her grandfather got married. Sharon remembered her singing hymns she'd never heard before growing up, and those hymns had become familiar by the time she was a teenager. Now, St. Joseph's didn't stick to the Catholic hymnal, and a favorite hymn of her grandmother's surfaced during mass every now and then. Sharon had always loved this hymn, but the third verse really got to her today, especially as Andy's arm tightened around her and Rusty's arm looped through hers.

“And then one day, I'll cross the river I'll fight life's final war with pain And then as death gives way to victory I'll see the lights of glory, and I'll know he reigns.

Because he lives, I can face tomorrow Because he lives, all fear is gone Because I know he holds the future And life is worth the living, just because he lives.”

While Sharon knew the odds of surviving cancer were in her favor, it had served as yet another reminder that she wasn't promised tomorrow. In her line of work, that reminder came more often for her than most others, but it was still easy to forget and to go back to taking life for granted. She could be killed in a car wreck on the way to work the next day, for all she knew. Not to mention the fact that her actual job could be dangerous. And did she really have faith that it would be okay if something happened to her? She was afraid she didn't. She was terrified. Not necessarily for herself, but for the people she loved. Any mitigated fears she had for her current health were a result of concrete medical tests and statistics. Not because of the faith she'd always considered to be strong. It wasn't that she thought that prayer would physically heal her, but she felt like it should've provided more spiritual healing than it had. Like she should be more at peace, but she wasn't. She felt like she'd been going about praying all wrong, and she wasn't sure how to correct it.

Sharon sat through a little more of the service, wrapped up in her own thoughts. She was startled to hear music start again, and she realized it was already time for the choir to sing. At least she could just sit and enjoy it this time...Ugh, what was it with the music today?! Was someone trying to make her cry?

“The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning It's time to sing your song again Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me Let me be singing when the evening comes.

Bless the Lord Oh my soul, oh my soul Worship his holy name Sing like never before Oh, my soul I worship your holy name.”

Sharon wasn't quite sure what it was about this one, except that it was one of her recent favorites. She supposed it didn't really matter what song it was today. If it was one of her favorites, then it would probably make her emotional for one reason or another. She made it through the rest of mass without incident, but the last hymn made the tears harder to fight back, simply because it reminded her the most of her grandmother. This hymn could've reduced her to tears on any Sunday.

“Softly and tenderly, Jesus is calling Calling for you and for me See, on the portals he's waiting and watching Watching for you and for me.

Come home, come home You who are weary come home Earnestly, tenderly, Jesus is calling Calling, oh sinner, come home.”

This one reminded her of staying home from school sick as a little girl. Sometimes her mom couldn't miss work, but even if she did stay home with her, her grandmother usually showed up at some point during the day. Sharon could picture her doing things around the house and coming to check on her frequently. She always sang as she worked around the house, and this hymn was always a staple.

When mass was over, Sharon sat and waited for the sanctuary to clear out. Andy nor Rusty questioned her, they just sat with her in silence. When the last person was gone, Sharon knew she had a few minutes before the 12:30 mass crowd began to arrive, so she walked to the front of the church and knelt at the altar. She didn't want her priest or anything, just a few moments to herself. She didn't pray for her own healing or for the peace and understanding of her loved ones when her day did come, whenever that would be. She simply prayed for guidance.


	5. Chapter 5

Sharon got the results from her lumpectomy and lymph node biopsy the following Friday. The cancer was Stage I and hadn't spread beyond the breast, and she could start radiation as soon as her breast was healed properly, which would probably be in four to six weeks. The wedding was almost exactly four weeks away, so she had been assured that she wouldn't have to start until after that. She'd told the team and her closest friends soon after receiving results from the lumpectomy. The hardest part was seemingly over. She knew nothing about the process would be easy, but, for the time being, her main fears were taken care of. Everyone that needed to hear it from her had heard, the waiting, diagnosis, and surgery were over, and a round of radiation would be done to kill any remaining cells. Life would continue as normal until radiation started, and, even then, it was daily twenty-thirty minute sessions with mild side effects. The team treated her much like Andy and Rusty had at first, like she was going to break, but after a week or so, things returned mostly to normal. There was only one problem. Andy. Was. Driving. Her. Batshit. Crazy. At work and at home. He'd stop for a while when he could tell she was getting aggravated, but then he'd start again. Half of the time, she didn't think he realized he was doing it, but when he spoke for her at work or did small things wherever they were that she could do herself, it grated on her nerves. It didn't help anything that their current case had her at odds with the church to which she'd been loyal for almost forty years.

One Thursday afternoon in early November, Rusty called Andy on his way home from class, telling him that he was sick but begged him not to tell Sharon and to cover for him. He knew he wouldn't be able to hide it from her without Andy's help, and with the case still going on, the upcoming wedding, and the state of things, in general, he wanted to keep her from getting sick if at all possible. "I don't know..." Andy said, sounding nervous.

"Come on, Andy, it's just a stomach thing. I'm just going home and going to bed, and there's nothing she'll be able to do, but she still won't leave me alone. I'll be fine by tomorrow, but you know how Mom hovers. When you guys get home, just tell her I was up late last night finishing something for school and probably went to bed early. If she sees me, then she'll know."

"All right...I'll check on you when we get home. We'll probably be a little late, anyway. Do you need anything?"

"No, I'm just going to bed."

"Okay. Call me if you get any worse. I mean it, kid."

"I will. Thanks, Andy." Rusty put his pajamas on and got in bed as soon as he got home. He had to get up a couple of times to go to the bathroom, and he got sick not long after that. He cleaned the toilet and surrounding areas to make sure none of the smell of vomit lingered and went back to bed. It was so freaking cold. He felt like he'd just closed his eyes when he heard Andy walking across his room. It was dark outside, though, so he'd been asleep for a while.

"You okay?"

Rusty pulled his covers down just enough to see Andy's shadow against the streetlights standing beside his bed. "Mm-hmm. Stomach hurts."

"Can I get you anything? Water or ginger ale?"

"Don't have ginger ale," Rusty murmured.

"Yes, we do. I stopped and got some on the way home. Your mom got stuck with Mason on our way out, but I went ahead and left so I could see how you were doing. I'll get you some ginger ale, do you want anything else?" Rusty shook his head. "I'll be right back." Andy came back a couple of minutes later with a glass of ginger ale and the thermometer. He handed it to Rusty and turned the lamp on, studying him as they waited. He looked tired, but Andy didn't think he looked that sick. He wasn't any good at this, though. When the final beep came from the thermometer, Rusty handed it to Andy out of habit like he always did with Sharon, took a sip of ginger ale, and huddled back under his covers. "100.2, that's not bad. Um, come wake me up if you get any worse." Andy wasn't sure he would know what to do in that instance, but it sounded like something Sharon would say. He was a little nervous about keeping this from her, but he saw Rusty's point. He just wished he didn't know about it and could be an innocent bystander.

"'Kay." Rusty pulled his knees up to his chest, trying to find a position that made him a little less nauseous. A little while later, he heard Sharon come home, and he wanted to call out for her so bad he couldn't stand it. Not that she could do much for him, but the smell of her lotion and perfume, the feeling of her soft hand on his forehead, and the "hmm" that usually followed, whether or not she thought he had a fever, was always comforting. And always assured him that she knew what to do and that he would be okay. He could hear the low murmur of their voices, and it was obvious that Andy was having to talk Sharon out of coming to check on him. He heard them go to bed not long after that, then managed to fall asleep, himself.

Rusty woke up some time later in a panic and bolted across the hall. If he'd been wearing white and woken up about five seconds later than he did, then this could've been a Clorox commercial. He had to throw up not long after he reached the bathroom, so he grabbed the pail from beside the toilet and used that as quietly as he could. The order of those events had been fortunate. When he finished in the bathroom, he went to the kitchen to clean out the pail. Stepping on his right foot made a pain shoot through his stomach, and he was more like limping by the time he got to the kitchen. He cleaned the pail in the sink as quietly as he could and went back to bed.

The next morning, Andy checked on him while Sharon was in the shower. He'd heard him get up a couple of times during the night, but he hoped he was feeling better by now. Rusty groaned as Andy shook his shoulder. "Hey, kid, you feeling any better?"

"Nuh-uh."

"I brought you some ginger ale and Gatorade. Call me if you can't keep it down, and I'll come take you to the doctor. Did you tell Hobbs anything?"

Rusty shook his head. "Just that I'm not coming. If you guys see her today, Mom won't think anything of me not being with her. Sometimes I go on Fridays, and sometimes I don't."

"Okay. Call me if you start feeling worse. Do you feel bad enough for me to take you to the doctor?" Andy really wasn't that worried, as it seemed like he just had a stomach virus, but he knew Sharon would have his ass if Rusty were really sick and she found out that he knew about it.

"Nooooo, lemme sleep."

"Okay, but let me know if you change your mind." Andy left the room, feeling like he'd covered all of his bases. When he got home on Friday evening, Rusty was still in bed, and the smell from the bathroom made it clear that he'd spent a good part of the day in there with stomach problems of both varieties. Andy put a dent in the Clorox and Febreze before finding the thermometer and going to check on the kid.

"Mom?" Rusty mumbled as Andy walked into the room.

"No, kid, it's me. Your mom went out to eat with Andrea." Andy sat on Rusty's bed and put his hand on his back. "You're still not feeling well?" Rusty shook his head and took the thermometer from him. "101...This is one hell of a stomach virus you've picked up. If your doctor doesn't have hours on Saturdays, then I'll take you to a walk-in clinic in the morning if you're still sick."

"Nooo—"

"We'll see how you're feeling in the morning. Uh, come get me if you need anything." Andy felt like he was starting to sound like a broken record, but he didn't know what else to say.

Later that night, Rusty woke up with searing pain in his stomach. It started to abate after a few minutes, but it still hurt, and something just didn't feel right. He limped into Sharon's room and approached Andy's side of the bed. He'd never been in their room while they were both in the bed, and it felt weird. Obviously, he knew they both slept in her bed, but it was weird to actually see it. "Andy...Andy!" He hissed.

Andy grumbled as he sat up and squinted at Rusty. "What? You okay?"

"I think we need to wake Mom up. Something's wrong."

"Are you sure? Can you wait and just let me take you to the doctor in the morning?"

"I'm serious, Andy, we need to wake her up."

"Too late," Sharon mumbled. She sat up and turned her lamp on. "What's the matter—how long have you been sick, young man? Come here, let me see." Rusty gave Andy an 'I told you so' look, but stayed rooted to his spot. "Rusty—"

"Okay, okay." Rusty walked around the bed and carefully sat beside Sharon, guarding his stomach. "My stomach is killing me. Like, it hurts to walk."

Sharon wrapped her arm around him and pressed her other hand to his forehead. "Hmmm...You have a fever. Where does it hurt?"

"It was just around here," Rusty said, indicating the bottom right side of his stomach, just above his leg. "But now it's, like, all across."

"Honey, that sounds like appendicitis! Why didn't you tell me?!" Sharon gave Andy a look. She could only think of one reason why Rusty would've woken him up instead of her. "You knew about this?!"

"It just seemed like a stomach bug, and we didn't want to worry you! Or for you to get sick. He wasn't this bad earlier, and he never said anything about his stomach hurting on the right side. Just that it hurt. His temperature was only 101 when I got home from work, so I thought he'd be okay!"

"That's why you ask where it hurts, Andy. A fever and stomach pain can't just be written off as a virus." Sharon turned back to Rusty. "Have you been sick at all?"

"Yeah...A few times since yesterday."

"Has your stomach been upset?"

Rusty nodded. "Yeah...for most of the week, actually. I just thought I ate something weird." He winced as a surge of pain hit him. "Damn it, Mom, this hurts."

"I know, honey. Andy, call 911...Andy!" She snapped when it took him longer than half of a second to move.

"Oh!" Andy grabbed his phone from the nightstand and dialed 911.

Sharon got up and helped him lie down. "I'll be right back." She quickly got dressed, threw together a small bag for her and Rusty, made sure her insurance card was in her purse, and found Rusty's wallet and threw it in, too.

"They'll be here in ten to twenty minutes," Andy assured her when she came back into the bedroom. He got up to get dressed himself, trying to ignore the death glare he was getting from Sharon. "I really didn't know! I promise, he hasn't been this bad the whole time..."

"But you helped him keep it from me," Sharon responded, thinking back on several times in the last couple of days when she'd started to call or look in on Rusty, but Andy had redirected her. "This could be serious, Andy!"

"I know. I'm sorry. I didn't know, I swear!"

Soon after the paramedics arrived, Sharon started to follow them downstairs, but the heartbroken look on Andy's face made her pause. She walked over to him and kissed his cheek. "This isn't your fault, Andy, and I know you honestly didn't think it was serious."

"Thanks. I'll meet you at the hospital." Sharon nodded, followed the paramedics downstairs, and climbed into the waiting ambulance.


	6. Chapter 6

A little while after arriving at St. Leo's, Rusty had been diagnosed with appendicitis, and possibly a ruptured appendix, and was being wheeled away to surgery. Sharon walked beside his bed until they reached the waiting room, then leaned down and kissed his forehead. "I love you, honey. I'll be here when you wake up, okay?"

"Mm-hmm," Rusty mumbled drowsily.

Sharon squeezed his hand and reluctantly entered the waiting room. She wasn't as happy to see Andy as she thought she would've been. She really wasn't angry with him, she just didn't want him telling her it would be okay when he didn't know any more than she did or trying to convince her to go home. She wasn't going anywhere.

Andy stood up when he saw Sharon come in. "Hey, what's going on?"

"His appendix may have ruptured. He's—in—surgery," Sharon answered, her voice breaking.

"Shit...Sharon, I'm so sorry." Andy pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head.

"It's not your fault, Andy. I should've known—"

"There's no way you could've known."

Sharon pulled away from Andy and wiped her eyes. "Ricky had appendicitis when he was 14. I would've known. I just let myself get too distracted to even see Rusty for a couple of days...I'm sorry, I should've told you to stay home. There's nothing you can do here, except wait."

"If you think I'm leaving you here in the middle of the night, worried and alone, you're out of your mind."

"I've done it before, Andy," Sharon snapped. She would actually prefer to be alone now, but she couldn't bring herself to tell him that. She could tell he felt guilty, and she didn't want to send him home so soon after he'd left in the middle of the night.

"Well, you're not alone anymore." Andy led Sharon to a chair and made her sit down. "He's a tough kid, Sharon, he'll be all right."

And there it was. Sharon bristled, trying not to show her annoyance. Andy had started to put his arm around her, but he pulled back and let her have some space when he sensed her annoyance. Sharon's thoughts turned to the last time she'd been in the hospital in the middle of the night, the autumn of Ricky's freshman year of high school.

September 2001

"Mooooom, I'm sick!" Ricky complained one Friday morning before he was even all the way downstairs. Sharon rolled her eyes as she finished up his and Emily's lunches for the day. He'd been calling her from upstairs with the same message for the last ten minutes, but she'd ignored his calls. His friend Jason had been at their house the weekend before, but got sick and had to leave early, and it never failed that whenever one of his friends or Emily were sick, Ricky automatically "came down" with the same thing. Sometimes, he really did catch whatever they had, but if he didn't, he would try to convince Sharon that he did for a good week afterward. This was the fifth morning in a row he'd claimed to be sick.

"You're fine, Ricky! Go get dressed."

"I really am sick this time!" Ricky protested, his voice growing louder as he approached the kitchen.

Sharon looked up as he came in, prepared to send him back upstairs, but his cheeks were flushed, his eyes were glassy, and he looked positively green. "Honey! You're running a fever!" She exclaimed as he trudged over to her.

Ricky held his arms out to his sides in an exaggerated shrug and gave her a look that clearly said 'what do you think I was trying to tell you?' "Mom, I don't feel good," he whined.

Sharon put a hand on his shoulder and felt his forehead. "I can tell. I'm sorry, honey, just go get in my bed. I need to make sure Emily's awake, and I'll be right there." Ricky nodded and turned toward Sharon's room. Going back upstairs seemed impossible, and the couch in the living room was too far away from the bathroom for when he inevitably threw up. His stomach felt like hell. He crawled into her side of the bed and breathed deeply. It was still a little warm from her body heat, and the sheets smelled like her. He'd never admit it to anyone else, but getting in his mom's bed when he was sick was the best feeling in the world.

Sharon could hear the shower running as soon as she got upstairs, so she went back to the kitchen and got the thermometer and a glass of water before going to check on Ricky. "What's the matter? Is it your stomach?"

Ricky nodded. "It hurts."

With Emily, that statement would have warranted a couple of follow-up questions, but with Ricky recently being exposed to a virus and his tendency to exaggerate when he was sick, she didn't think much of it. She slipped the thermometer into his mouth and ran her fingers through his hair as she watched the clock on her nightstand. Jason hadn't felt like he had a fever the weekend before when she'd called his parents to come pick him up, but he was obviously sick, so she hadn't bothered to check his temperature first. Emily and Ricky had had a stomach virus at the same time a couple of times before where Ricky had a fever and Emily didn't, so she wasn't that concerned about him running a fever, either. He'd eaten his normal two helpings for dinner the night before, with snacks both before and after, so she didn't worry that he really had been sick the day before. She could always tell when he was lying, and the morning before had clearly been a fake attempt.

"All right, that should do it," Sharon said after three minutes had passed. She held up the glass thermometer she'd had since soon after she and Jack got married and squinted as she struggled to read it. Ugh, she needed glasses, but she wasn't ready to admit it. The thermometer was much harder to read than the last time she'd had to use it, and she finally determined that his temperature was a little over a hundred. She sat with him for a little while before he bolted out of bed and into her bathroom. She followed him and dampened a cloth with cool water as he dropped to his knees in front of the toilet. "It's all right, sweetheart," she soothed as she wiped his face and patted his back. As she led him back to bed, the ironing board in the corner of her room with Emily's waiting uniform caught her eye. She tucked Ricky back into bed and quickly ironed Emily's khaki skirt and light blue St. Joseph's polo. By this time, she could hear Emily coming downstairs, so she took the uniform to the kitchen for her towel-clad daughter. "Morning, honey."

"Morning," Emily mumbled, rubbing her eyes. "Thanks, Mom, you read my mind." She gave Sharon a questioning look when she realized she wasn't dressed for work. Her hair was wet, but she usually had her makeup on by this time in the morning, and she didn't seem to be in any kind of hurry.

"I'm afraid Ricky caught Jason's virus, so I'm staying home with him," Sharon explained.

Emily wrinkled her nose. "He better keep that shit to himself."

"Language," Sharon chastised. She smiled and kissed Emily's cheek. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah." Emily made a bowl of cereal and sat at the table. Sharon booted up her laptop and emailed her next in command in FID that she had a sick child and would be out today, but would be online for most of the day. Working from home sometimes had become a possibility in the last few years, since she'd gotten a laptop and could access the LAPD's workspace from home. Emily and Ricky were old enough for her to go to work for at least part of the day when they stayed home sick, and her division tended to have a "when the cat's away" mentality, so she usually did go for a little while if they didn't feel too bad, but she didn't like to leave them alone when they were throwing up.

Emily finished breakfast and went upstairs to finish getting dressed, and Sharon sent a couple of other emails until she came back down. "Have a good day. Go ahead and go to the infirmary if you start feeling bad at all. If a teacher or the nurse gives you a hard time, tell them your brother is sick and that I want you to call me," Sharon instructed as Emily was walking out the door. "And don't drive home after school if you feel sick. I'll come get you, and we can get your car later." Emily's claims of not feeling well were always much more reliable than Ricky's, so she knew she wouldn't abuse that instruction. Stomach viruses seemed to spread like wildfire between the two of them, and she didn't want her to have to deal with getting sick at school.

Sharon spent the rest of the day tending to Ricky when he got sick and getting a little work done while he slept off and on. He got worse as the day went on, not better, which was unusual. She'd talked to Jason's mom earlier that week, and she'd said that his virus had only lasted a few hours. By the time she went to bed that night, Ricky was too tired to move upstairs and had a slightly higher fever, so she let him stay in her bed for the night. She planned to call his doctor the next morning if he wasn't any better. She brushed his bangs back and kissed his forehead. "Hmm, you feel a little warmer. Wake me up if you need me, okay?"

"Mm-hmm." Ricky rolled over and went to sleep, but he was frantically waking Sharon up a few hours later. "Mom, my stomach hurts."

"I know, baby," Sharon murmured, struggling to open her eyes as she sat up.

"No, like, bad. I can barely walk."

That caught Sharon's attention. "Where does it hurt?"

"Right...here." Ricky grimaced and held the lower right part of his stomach.

The next few hours had been a whirlwind of waking Emily up and telling her what was going on, getting Ricky to the hospital, and a battery of tests before an official diagnosis. After all of that, Sharon had found herself in the position she was in now, just by herself. She'd wished Jack were with her. He was actually a good husband when he had his shit together, but that was so rarely the case. She remembered how relieved she'd been when Emily arrived less than an hour later, claiming she couldn't go back to sleep, despite lying down on her shoulder and falling asleep less than five minutes after she got there.

So why didn't she want Andy there now? She couldn't figure it out. Part of it was probably because she wanted some time to herself to sort through her thoughts about their impending wedding. Part of it was probably also that he'd been hovering over her and driving her insane. She certainly never had that problem with Jack. It wasn't just that, though, and she couldn't put her finger on what it was.

A couple of hours later, a nurse came in and informed Sharon that Rusty's appendix had indeed ruptured, but that he was in recovery and doing well. They'd had to clean his stomach out with saline because of the rupture, so the procedure had taken longer than normal. Once Rusty was in a room, Sharon convinced Andy to go home. He had to work the next day, but a perk of being the commanding officer was that she didn't have to go in during the weekend unless they found a new lead or found themselves with nothing but dead ends.

Rusty had fallen back asleep, and he moaned softly and shifted like he was trying to get more comfortable. Sharon moved her chair closer to him, brushed a lock of hair away from his face, and hummed softly so he'd know she was there. He was still hooked up to an IV and a couple of monitors, and he looked so helpless. He also had a draining tube attached to his stomach. "Mom?" He mumbled.

"Yes, honey. I'm right here. What do you need?" Sharon put her hands on his arms and gently tried to help him adjust his position to get more comfortable.

"Throat hurts."

"You just had surgery for a ruptured appendix, and a sore throat is your first complaint?" Sharon asked, her worry turning to slight amusement.

"Mooooooom," he groaned.

"Sorry. You had a tube down your throat during surgery, that's probably why it's sore."

"Mmph."

"Here, you can have some ice chips." Sharon reached for a bowl on the table beside his bed and fished out a couple with the spoon. "Don't chew them, just let them melt before you swallow," she instructed before slipping the spoon into his mouth. "Are you hurting?"

"Cold."

Sharon tightened the covers around him and held her hand to his forehead. "Hmm, you still feel a little warm, but you still have some infection." She got up to adjust the thermostat in his room and returned to her perch beside his bed. She dozed on and off as nurses bustled in and out, and by 11:00 on Saturday morning, Rusty was more alert. And annoyed by the extremely embarrassing questions about bodily functions he kept having to answer. Yes, he had to pee but couldn't, and no, he hadn't farted yet (A/N: this is Rusty's point of view, I know a nurse wouldn't put it this way). That he was aware of, anyway. The discomfort in his stomach and the fact that Sharon had yet to flee the room told him that his assessment was probably accurate, though. Sharon had left the room a couple of times so he could try to use the urinal thing beside his bed, but it hurt, so he'd given up pretty quickly. A nurse's threat of a catheter finally motivated him to try a little harder, though, so Sharon left the room again, and he was finally successful.

When the nurse was gone, Rusty's attention turned to the marker board with information about his doctor, nurse, and other boring stuff, but the writing under the "goals" section caught his eye. He squinted at the board, convinced he was seeing things. "Surely, that doesn't say what I think it says."

"What—Oh, my!" Sharon couldn't help but laugh when she read "produce earth-shattering flatulence" under "hydration," "pain management," and a couple of other things. The day shift nurse apparently had a sense of humor. (A/N: this came from someone's personal account of an appendectomy I found online, and I thought it was hilarious, sorry).

"Why are they so freaking obsessed with me farting?!" Rusty whined.

"That's a sign that your abdominal muscles and intestines are working properly. They were weakened by the anesthesia," Sharon explained.

"There's not a better way to do that?" Rusty grumbled.

"Afraid not. That's why they keep holding a stethoscope to your stomach. They're listening for bowel sounds."

"Ewwww!" Rusty wrinkled his nose. "That's disgusting."

"They do this every day, honey, and they do things that are far more disgusting than this. After I had Emily—"

"Stop, Mom, I don't want to know. I believe you."

Sharon laughed. "Are you sure? It involved—"

"Mom!"

"Okay. I'll stop." Sharon hadn't intended to actually tell him anything. She knew he'd stop her before she could say anything. Hell, she was going to be stuck in a hospital for a few days because the more-complicated-than-usual surgery put him at a higher than normal risk for infection and prolonged his recovery, so she might as well have some fun where she could find it.

A few days later, the only barrier to Rusty going home was a bowel movement. With his lack of appetite and the pain medicine that tended to cause constipation, this wasn't surprising, but was still necessary before he could be discharged. It finally happened, but in the most embarrassing way possible. Andy had taken Sharon home to get her car earlier that week, and she had been back and forth to work, and Andy had come by as often as he could. But, of course, Sharon was right beside him when it happened. At least Andy wasn't there. Rusty had been asleep and didn't wake up in time to even ask Sharon to help him to the bathroom, much less to actually get there. These hospital people had zero regard for modesty, and he'd just thought earlier that day that it would probably be a long time before anything truly embarrassed him after the prodding and invasive questions he'd endured in the last few days. How unfortunately wrong he was. Sharon recognized the situation immediately. "Oh, Rusty, it's okay. Let me call for your nurse—"

"No, Mom, please," Rusty begged.

"Honey. You can't clean up by yourself, and your choices for help are someone you'll never see again once you leave here and me. I'm assuming you prefer the first option." Sharon pressed the 'toilet' button on the call pad. It was obviously a little late for that, but it wasn't an emergency, and she guessed that 'toilet' would receive the second-fastest response time of the available options.

When the nurse came in, the smell and the humiliated expression on Rusty's face left little mystery to what the problem was. "Well, looks like you can go home today!" She said brightly. "It's okay, Rusty. I never work with kids, but this still happens all the time. Don't worry about it." Sharon got up and left the room so he could get cleaned up and was able to come back in when an orderly arrived with fresh linens. True to the nurse's prediction, Rusty was discharged later that afternoon, and they were on the way home.

Once they got home, Sharon helped Rusty get settled on the couch and made him as comfortable as he could with the draining tube still attached to his stomach. Rusty gave her a look she couldn't quite decipher. "What is it?"

"Nothing." Rusty grimaced as he shifted against his pillows. "Just...If you tell anyone I shit my pants, then I'm asking Emily and Ricky if they have any idea why you might scream 'there, just a little harder,' from your room when you think I'm not home."

Sharon laughed. "Rusty! Of course I won't tell anyone. You couldn't help it, but I know you were embarrassed. And don't you even think about telling anyone about that!"

"Your secret is safe if mine is," Rusty said diplomatically.

"Deal."

A/N: I'm sorry if that got a little gross, but I read several accounts of that happening to adults after an appendectomy. Just trying to be a little realistic :)

The time spent in the hospital had given Sharon time to mull over her misgivings about the wedding. Her shattered faith in her church of almost forty years and her wavering faith, in general, were causing her to seriously question her faith in Andy. Mark Hickman's words about him cheating on his girlfriends during the cop killer drama kept playing through her mind. As toxic as Hickman was, there had been truthful intent behind everything he'd said about the case, so why not this, too? She had never even suspected that Andy would ever cheat on her, but she'd thought the same about Jack. She'd never wanted someone who would dote over her and do every little thing for her, which usually led to her being attracted to assholes. She'd never been able to find a happy medium. Jack had swept her off of her feet with his charm, and he had hidden his asshole tendencies entirely too well until after they were married. She'd been ecstatic when he proposed to her, but his darker side began coming out not long after they got married. Would the same thing happen with Andy? He had clearly been something of an ass in his younger days, but had he wisened up over the years, or was he just really good at hiding it? Like Jack, he couldn't hide it forever, if that were the case, and they had been dating for a shorter time when they got engaged than she and Jack had. As skilled as she was at reading people and judging their character in the interview room, that skill had never transferred to men in her personal life. She also worried that she had grown comfortable with Andy and didn't want to lose that. Did she really love and trust him enough to share the rest of her life with him, or was he more like an old, comfortable friend with benefits?

A couple of nights after Rusty was released from the hospital, Sharon was sitting outside on the balcony with a glass of wine. After several days of seriously thinking about the misgivings she'd had about the wedding, she'd come to a decision. She couldn't bring herself to go inside and execute it, though, so she was waiting for Andy to come find out why she wasn't coming in for bed. She'd been an active participant at St. Joseph's for almost forty years, but she'd never dreamed that it was capable of the recent things she'd learned about. That had led to more serious thoughts about her relationship with Andy. The timeline of their dating and engagement was unnervingly similar to hers and Jack's. She had no idea what it was like to have an even remotely functional marriage, and she was afraid that it was too soon to tell if they were truly meant to be married. Her thoughts during the process of being diagnosed with breast cancer contributed to that a good bit, between not wanting to tell him at first and not really wanting to lean on him during that time and the days ahead. Not to mention knowing that Rusty was sick and not telling her. He had done that to "protect" her, and she was sick and damn tired of him trying to protect her all the time. She also wondered if, in the back of her mind, a large motivation for getting married was to avoid being lonely once Rusty was on his own and to have someone to take care of her when she got older. Or even, given Andy's recent health history, if it had to do with wanting to take care of him.

The sliding door opened, and Andy's head peeked out. "You coming to bed?"

"I think we should call off the wedding," Sharon answered.

It didn't register with Andy at first with how casual it sounded, and he did a double take. "Wait, what?! Is this because—"

"What happened with Rusty contributed, yes, but that's not why. I've been thinking about it since before then. I don't know how to be in a real marriage, Andy, and I think we just moved too fast. I said 'yes' for all the wrong reasons. And you have to stop trying to protect me all the time. I've been taking care of my children and myself and looking out for myself at work on my own for a long time. I want a partner, Andy. Not a protector." Tears filled Sharon's eyes when she saw the tears in Andy's and the heartbroken expression on his face. "I never wanted to hurt you, Andy, but I've been by myself for so long, and I'm afraid that I don't know how to adapt to truly sharing my life with someone else. That's not fair to either of us." She was careful not to bring Jack into this.

Andy ran his hand over his face and just stared out over the city lights for a couple of minutes. This was the last thing he was expecting. "Sharon. If we're also getting married for the right reasons, then the wrong reasons don't matter. I asked you to marry me because I don't want to wake up without you beside me ever again. I love you too much for anything you could ever possibly do to make me stop loving you. I can't imagine going through the rest of my life without you. I've never felt about anyone else the way I feel about you, and I never will again. You have my heart, and you always will, regardless of how this turns out." He paused and wiped his eyes. "Can you just sleep on it for a couple of nights before we keep talking about it? I know things have happened in the last few weeks, and it won't always be easy, but I have no doubt that we can get through anything together. Please. I love you, and you can trust me. I promise."


	7. Chapter 7

On Thursday morning, Sharon instinctively inched over to Andy's side of the bed for a little closeness before she'd even opened her eyes. She always got up first in the mornings, and she usually liked to spoon against him for a few minutes before she got up for the day. Sometimes Andy slept through it, but this also sometimes led to them taking advantage of his morning arousal. The sheets were cold on his side, though. Oh, right. He'd slept on the couch last night. Sharon had assured him that she wasn't angry and it wasn't necessary, but he'd insisted. She'd actually appreciated the space, and she realized she didn't like waking up without him beside her. Before they started dating, it would've suited her fine to wake up alone for the rest of her life, but she wanted him beside her now. Not just to have a husband or a comfortable friend. She wanted him. She'd never had that thought with Jack. With him, her first thought in the morning was usually more like get your damn knee out of my ass. Marrying Jack had had more to do with all of her friends getting engaged than actually being ready to get married. She didn't doubt that she and Jack would still be together if he'd been able to keep his act together, but she was also certain that a couple more years of dating would've revealed his darker side, or given her a glimpse of it, anyway, and his unwillingness to overcome it. Everyone has their dark side on some level, and although Andy's was similar to Jack's, Andy made a conscious effort every day to suppress his, and he'd been doing so for a long time. She'd had a few run-ins with him during her FID tenure, but none of their encounters had been alcohol-related since her children were small.

She remembered exactly when she'd been able to tell that he had really turned himself around, because she remembered bitterly wishing that Jack would be as diligent about staying sober as Andy was at the time. With Emily in middle school and Ricky in elementary school, they were getting older and needed more paternal influence than they had, but Jack still couldn't manage to straighten up and stick around for longer than a few weeks at a time, if that.

This revelation quelled her biggest fear about their relationship, which was that they were still in a honeymoon phase and that she would eventually learn things about Andy that weren't so pleasant. Or that he would give up on remaining sober at some point. Her relationship with Jack was the culprit for these fears, though, and she'd spent too much time dwelling on his and Andy's similarities rather than their differences. After a few more minutes of reflection, Sharon had made up her mind. She felt guilty for just blurting out that she wanted to call off the wedding when it was two weeks away without even mentioning any of her concerns before, and that wasn't fair. She'd blindsided him. She'd be lucky if he'd even look at her this morning, but an advantage to being a woman was how easily-persuaded men usually are with sex. She dug through the drawer Gavin had forced her to update when she and Andy started dating and selected a soft lilac chemise, slipped it over her head, and put her nightgown back on.

Sharon took a deep breath and quietly moved into the living room . She sat on the edge of the couch, and Andy's eyes fluttered open when he felt her weight beside him. He wasn't sure if this was good news or bad news. "Morning," he murmured.

"Good Morning." Sharon took one of Andy's hands and held it between both of hers. "I'm sorry, Andy. I was wrong last night. I think I just always expect the bottom to drop out, so the closer we got to the wedding, the more afraid I got."

Andy nodded. He'd been up for most of the night, and the more he thought about it, the more he understood her apprehension. "Well, to be fair, the bottom did drop out for you with your first marriage. And, unfortunately, for Sandra. But I'm not Jack. I was a lot like him at one time, but I know how wrong I was, and—"

"I know. Can we just forget about it? Let's just call it temporary insanity."

Andy grinned. "Well, I'm pretty sure that's why you agreed to go out with me in the first place, so let's just say we've come full circle."

Sharon noticed the dark circles under Andy's eyes, and she guessed that he hadn't gotten any more sleep than she had the night before. "I'm sorry I put you through this, Andy. I—"

"It's okay. I understand." Andy was too relieved to talk any more about it. It was fine with him to never mention it again. "How's the kid?" He'd heard her get up and check on Rusty a couple of times during the night.

"He's okay. Just uncomfortable. I gave him a pain pill not too long ago, so he'll probably be out for a while, if that interests you at all."

"That fascinates me...Wait, we are talking about the same thing, right?"

"Come find out." Sharon lifted her nightgown over her head to reveal her chemise as she walked back to their room. She could practically feel Andy react behind her and smiled to herself. He was so damn predictable.

"Noooo, don't get up," Andy pleaded a little while later when Sharon started to disentangle herself from his arms. He tightened his grip on her and pressed a kiss to the back of her bare shoulder.

"I have a commanders' meeting, and you need to get ready, yourself." Sharon gently pried Andy's arms off of her and got out of bed. She'd been back and forth to work in the last few days, but now that the missing boys from St. Joseph's had been found, which was her main concern, she was staying home with Rusty a little more and letting the rest of the team proceed with the case.

"Living with the boss really sucks," Andy muttered.

Sharon turned around in the doorway to the bathroom. "What was that?"

Andy snapped to attention. "I said living with the boss has its perks."

"Uh-huh." Relieved that things had mostly gone back to normal between them, Sharon went into the bathroom to get dressed for the day. Later that morning, she came back home to take Rusty to the doctor to get his draining tubes removed. He was curled up on the couch with his knees drawn up to his chest. "Hey, how are you feeling?" She slipped out of her heels and placed her blazer on a hook by the door.

"Mmmph."

Sharon rolled her eyes. "Thanks for clearing that up."

"If I'm not going to throw up, it'd be nice to stop feeling like I'm going to," Rusty moaned.

"I'm sorry, honey. You should be feeling a little better in a couple of days." Sharon sat on the edge of the couch and brushed his hair back from his forehead. "Hmm, you're still a little warm." She looked him over with concern in her eyes. "Let me get your medicine, and then you need to get dressed for your appointment." Sharon got up and came back a minute later with his prescription bottle, a glass of water, and the thermometer.

"Mo-om!" Rusty groaned when he spotted the thermometer in her hand.

"I have to make sure it's not over 101. You're at a higher risk of infec—"

"I know, I know. I heard. What did I do to deserve this?" Rusty whined. He'd googled appendectomies once he was feeling a little better, and while a normal one sounded bad enough, he'd had it worse than what he'd read about.

Sharon raised an eyebrow. "Well, if you had told me you weren't feeling well, we might've figured out what was wrong with you before your appendix ruptured and made your recovery worse than it had to be."

"Mooooooom, that was a rhetorical question! And I wanted to tell you. I just..." He really had. It had been weird not telling her when he felt sick, and it was even more weird to throw up without her beside him to pat his back and wipe his face. For her sake, he was glad she'd missed out on that part, except for a couple of episodes in the hospital, but he'd missed her being with him to comfort him. Rusty was silenced by a thermometer being stuck in his mouth.

"All right, it's not too high," Sharon confirmed a few moments later.

"You probably already knew that," Rusty grumbled. "I don't know why you even bother with that thing."

"To annoy you, of course," Sharon quipped. "I'm not concerned for your health or anything. Go get dressed, we need to leave soon."

Late Friday afternoon, Rusty was resting on the couch, Andy was on the way home from work, and Sharon was reluctantly getting ready for a lingerie shower being thrown for her by Andrea. Those hadn't been popular, that she was aware of, anyway, before she and Jack got married, and she wasn't too keen on the idea of it. The thought of other people, especially people she worked with, buying things like that for her was a little awkward. Not necessarily Andrea, although anyone was bad enough, but Amy and Cami would be there, too. It had been awkward enough when Gavin had dragged her on a shopping trip for the same thing soon after she and Andy started dating. She'd been dreading this "shower" all week, and she was entertaining the idea of using Rusty as an excuse to dip out of it. She finished getting dressed and sat beside Rusty on the couch. "Are you feeling okay?"

"For the millionth time, yes. Don't even think about trying to use me to get out of your shower thing tonight. Why are you so afraid of it, anyway?"

"I'm not afraid!" Sharon protested.

Rusty rolled his eyes. "You've been acting weird about it all week."

"Did I ever tell you about when Ricky had appendicitis?" Sharon asked, eager to change the subject.

"No...Did he shit himself, too?" Rusty asked, hopefully.

Sharon laughed. "No. Not that I know of, anyway. He told me he didn't feel well in time to avoid a rupture, though, so his recovery wasn't as bad as yours," she said pointedly.

"Yeah, whatever," Rusty mumbled.

"I do know he had a couple of close calls, though, I remember him running to the bathroom in a panic more than once. It took a few days for his stomach to get back to normal, too...Poor kid, I thought he was faking the morning he got sick with it."

"What? Why?"

"Ricky was notorious for faking illness to get out of going to school. He'd tried to convince me he was sick every morning that week..." Sharon straightened Rusty's blanket over him as she recounted the morning before Ricky had actually gotten sick.

"Moooom, I don't feel good," Ricky whined as he came down the stairs.

"Can it, Ricky! You're going to school."

"But I think I have a fever!" Ricky insisted as he came into the kitchen. He grabbed Sharon's hand and pressed it against his forehead. He had no idea how long the artificial warmth from Emily's hairdryer would last.

"Hmmm, you are a little warm..." Given his history of faking, though, Sharon was more than familiar with the difference between fever-warm and hairdryer-to-the-forehead warm.

"All right!"

Sharon moved her hand to the back of his neck to confirm her suspicion that he wasn't feverish. "Did you put your sister's hairdryer back in the closet? You know how Emily gets when you move her things and don't put them back. Go get dressed."

"Damn it!"

"Nice try, honey!" Sharon called sweetly after him, laughing as she heard him stomp up the stairs.

"So, the next morning, when he came downstairs complaining for the fifth morning in a row, what was I supposed to think?" Sharon finished up.

"Yeah, that was his fault," Rusty agreed.

Andy got home a few minutes later. "What time are Coop and Amy picking you up?"

"In just a few minutes. They should be on their way."

"And do I pick you guys up at Andrea's house or at the restaurant?"

"Restaurant," Sharon answered. They were planning to go out to eat after she'd opened her gifts.

"You guys sound like a middle school kid and a parent," Rusty commented. "'This person's parents are taking us to the party, and you're picking us up.'"

"Have you ever been around Amy after a couple of glasses of wine? The 'middle-schooler' assessment isn't too far off," Andy shot back.

"Stop it, you two!" Sharon giggled. She noticed Rusty grimace as he shifted his position against his pillow and put her hand on his forehead. "Maybe I should ask Andrea to postpone, though. He's-"

"A big boy and will be fine here with me for a few hours," Andy interrupted. He didn't know why Sharon had been so weird about this shower, but he hadn't asked her anything about it, either. He was just glad he didn't have to go to this one. "Couples' showers" had apparently become a thing since the first time he got married, and he was happy to sit this one out. He practically pushed her out the door when Amy texted her that they'd arrived, but pulled her back and kissed her. "Now go. Have fun."

"Call me if—"

"Go."

"Hi, you guys, thanks for picking me up," Sharon greeted as she got in Lt. Cooper's car. "But do you really think we'll drink that much tonight?" She hadn't planned on it, but Amy had insisted upon arranging for her not having to drive. She didn't do that often, so Sharon had gone along with it.

"I think you're going to need it," Amy said vaguely, and quickly changed the subject.

When they arrived, Patrice was already there, and Andrea gave Sharon and Amy a punch-like drink. "Here, have some Penis Punch."

"Andrea!" Sharon was too busy blushing and looking around at the, um, bachelorette-themed decorations to notice the penis-shaped straw in her mouth until she realized the shape felt weird and pulled it out to look at it. "Come on, Patrice, you couldn't have helped me out a little bit?"

Patrice held her arms out to her sides and gave Sharon an innocent look. "I had to talk her out of Pin the Penis on Andy. There's only so much I could do."

"Andrea!" Sharon took some much-needed gulps from her drink.

"What?" Andrea asked innocently. "I gave him a big one!"

"Oh, my god, I can't believe I agreed to this. And this isn't even what I expected! We're not playing that, by the way." Amy was right, Sharon was going to need some drinks to get through this.

"Come on, Sharon, let me have my fun. I don't exactly have many friends getting married these days."

Sharon finished off her drink and gave her empty glass back to Andrea. "I never thought I'd say this, but I'm going to need some more Penis Punch."


	8. Chapter 8

I posted part of the end of the last chapter as a reminder of what’s going on. 

When they arrived, Patrice was already there, and Andrea gave Sharon and Amy a punch-like drink. "Here, have some Penis Punch."

"Andrea!" Sharon was too busy blushing and looking around at the, um, bachelorette-themed decorations to notice the penis-shaped straw in her mouth until she realized the shape felt weird and pulled it out to look at it. "Come on, Patrice, you couldn't have helped me out a little bit?"

Patrice held her arms out to her sides and gave Sharon an innocent look. "I had to talk her out of Pin the Penis on Andy. There's only so much I could do."

"Andrea!" Sharon took some much-needed gulps from her drink.

"What?" Andrea asked innocently. "I gave him a big one!"

"Oh, my god, I can't believe I agreed to this. And this isn't even what I expected! We're not playing that, by the way." Amy was right, Sharon was going to need some drinks to get through this.

"Come on, Sharon, let me have my fun. I don't exactly have many friends getting married these days."

Sharon finished off her drink and gave her empty glass back to Andrea. "I never thought I'd say this, but I'm going to need some more Penis Punch."

"That's the spirit!" Andrea refilled Sharon's glass, and they stood around and talked for a little while before Andrea ushered them into the living room. Sharon eyed the gifts on the table suspiciously. Amy's was the only one she'd seen, and it had been the standard size and shape for a lingerie gift, but these definitely were not. Guessing that the chair with the penis-shaped balloon was meant for her, she sat down, just wanting to get this over with. God, she was going to kill Andrea with her bare hands. She took a long gulp of her drink before reaching for Amy's gift. After carefully unwrapping it and opening the box, she pulled out a deep purple, fitted, camisole-like garment and matching panties.

"Thank you, Amy." Sharon gave her a warm smile. "This is beautiful. It's very tasteful." She shot Andrea a withering glare.

Andrea rolled her eyes and snorted. "Yeah, like tasteful is ever any fun." The doorbell rang, so she got up to answer it.

Cami came in as Sharon was refolding the garments and putting them back in the box. "Hi, you guys, I'm sorry I'm la—" she trailed off as she eyed the box in Sharon's lap, then froze and looked at the different-sized gift in her hand. "Oh, my god, I thought 'lingerie' was code for sex toys!" Her cheeks flushed as soon as the words were out of her mouth. "I can't believe I just said that out loud. Uh—"

"Sex accessories, Cami, let's keep it classy," Andrea mockingly replied as she led her farther into the living room so she could see the other unopened gifts that clearly didn't come from a department store.

"Oh, thank god. I about shit a brick." Cami placed her gift on the table and flopped on the couch beside Amy.

Sharon choked back a laugh. The younger woman's blunt way of speaking had taken some getting used to, but she was starting to enjoy Cami's dry humor. "Thanks for coming, Cami."

"You're welcome. I've enjoyed working with you guys for the last few weeks. It's nice to see you outside of work, for once."

Sharon raised an eyebrow. "Speaking of which, not a word about any of this to anyone." She sighed. "I didn't know Andrea was going to, um, decorate, and I was wary enough when I thought this 'shower' was actually for lingerie. I had no idea it was code for something else! Amy obviously didn't, either."

"I actually did," Amy spoke up. "But buying lingerie for my commanding officer was weird enough...You wouldn't think so?" She asked when Cami gave an unconcerned shrug.

"Well, yeah, but just because my commanding officer is a guy...Ooh, is that Penis Punch?" Cami asked, eyeing everyone's glasses.

"I knew I liked you, Cami. I'll get you some...Sharon, if that gift isn't opened by the time I get back, then 'Pin the Penis on Andy' is back on the table," Andrea warned as she left the room to get Cami a drink.

Sharon finished off her drink and handed her glass to Andrea. "Well, in that case, I'm going to need a little more liquid courage."

"Wait a minute, back up. What is back on the table?" Cami asked.

"I thought it'd be fun to play a little game, so I found an old picture of Andy and blew it up, then made a certain appendage for it, but Sharon vetoed that," Andrea explained. "I made it big," Andrea added in an exaggerated whisper, indicating a measurement by holding two of her fingers apart.

"It was hard enough for me to talk her out of it the first time, but if that thing comes back out, then one of you will have to handle her," Patrice spoke up.

Sharon had at least had enough alcohol to laugh about everything by now, so she ignored Andrea. A little while later, the only unopened gift that remained was the one from Cami, as she had intentionally been putting it off. She liked her well enough, but she obviously wasn't shy, and she was a little afraid of what she was going to find when she opened the gift. Hell, she'd pretty much been single for a long time before she and Andy started dating with only a few men here and there, so she wasn't completely unfamiliar with "accessories." She was at least a little familiar with the other gifts she'd already opened, but she had a feeling Cami was a bit ahead of her in that department. She hadn't even completely opened the gift, though, before Cami was beside her and explaining it.

"Look, it attaches to your shower wall. If you're in there by yourself, you can do this, and if Andy's in there with you, you can—"

Sharon was politely nodding and blushing a little the whole time, but when she realized what could be done with this thing as she looked at the back of the box, she was actually a little intrigued. "Oh, wow—I mean, uh..."

"It's as awesome as it looks, I promise." Cami returned to her seat, and Sharon finished her drink. The alcohol was starting to get to her, and it had been a while since she'd had enough alcohol to feel the effects like this. They talked for a while before Andrea mentioned dinner.

"Can we just order pizza or something?" Sharon suggested. She didn't really want to go out anywhere, now that she'd had a few drinks.

"That's fine with me," Andrea answered, and everyone else agreed, as well. "Does anyone need another drink?"

"Do you have any wine?" Sharon asked.

Andrea gave her a look. "Seriously? I might not have bread or milk, but I have wine. Anyone else?"

"I'll have some," Amy answered, but Patrice and Cami declined.

"I need to tell Andy that he'll be picking up Amy and me here before I forget," Sharon murmured as she pulled out her phone.

"Oh, I'll take you guys home," Cami volunteered. "I've only had one drink, and I'm not drinking anything else."

Sharon looked up from her phone. "Are you sure?"

Cami shrugged. "It's no problem."

"Thank you." Sharon called Andy and was giggling by the time he answered. What the hell had been in that punch?! She could usually hold her alcohol a little better than this.

"Are you drunk?" Andy hissed after Sharon finally managed to relay the message that Cami would bring her home.

"My parents are in Seattle, Andy, I just needed to tell you I have a ride home."

"Okay, okay. Cami hasn't been drinking?"

"No, Dad, she hasn't." That wasn't entirely true, but one drink wasn't worth bringing up, so she didn't. Sharon's tone softened. "I'll be home in a couple of hours, okay? How is Rusty?"

"Kicking my ass in Chess. Don't worry, he's fine. You guys have fun and be caref—uh, have fun."

"Good answer. Love you—"

"Ooooooh," Amy and Andrea chimed in.

"Oh, dear god. I'll be home soon."

A couple of hours and a couple of glasses of wine later, Sharon was struggling to get her key in the door when Andy finally opened it from inside, having heard her fumbling with her keys. "Hey, did you guys have fun? What did you get?"

Sharon looked around the otherwise empty kitchen and living room before answering. "Where's Rusty?" She whispered. Well, it was intended to be a whisper, anyway. Whispering wasn't her strong suit when she'd been a tad overserved.

"He's asleep, what's going on?"

Sharon put the bags in which she'd packed her "gifts" on the counter and got a glass of water. "Is he okay? Did you check his temp—"

"100.3," Andy interrupted her. "He's fine. I gave him his pain medicine, and he's unconscious." He peeked through one of the bags Sharon brought in. "What—"

"Andrea insisted upon giving me a lingerie shower, and it turns out that lingerie is code for this," Sharon explained, nodding at the gifts. "I was dreading tonight enough when I thought lingerie meant lingerie. And before I knew that Andrea was going to decorate like I was a 25 year old at a bachelorette party." She took her glasses off and rubbed her eyes. Andy was giving her an incredulous look, stunned into silence. "Let's just say there were penis straws involved. And balloons. And...Ugh, I just want to forget this."

Andy looked thoughtful for a moment. "Yeah, I'm gonna need some pictures." He pulled Sharon into his arms. "You know, since Andrea got to treat you like a 25 year old tonight, it's only fair to let me do the same."

"Hold on, let me check on Rusty really quick." Sharon really just wanted to brush her teeth, but she would also feel a little better about what she had planned with Andy if she could see for herself that he really was good and asleep. After brushing away the remnants of the wine and punch, she carefully cracked open Rusty's door and peeked in. It would be a few more days before he started to get back to normal, so she was going to take advantage of his pain medicine-induced sleep and her rare drunken state while she could. She changed into an old pair of yoga pants and a sweatshirt she wouldn't mind being on the balcony floor for a while before going back to the kitchen. Andy was standing at the counter and examining one of the gifts.

"Now, this actually looks pretty cool."

"Oh, yeah, that was from Cami...I love Cami." Sharon giggled. God, she hated this part of being drunk. The few times she allowed herself to get to this point, she could never seem to stop giggling and proclaiming her love for everyone.

Andy had felt a little let down when Sharon came back into the kitchen, dressed like she was headed either to the couch or to bed. He'd worn his lucky suspenders that day, anticipating her having a little more to drink that night than usual, but he was afraid they'd lost their touch. They'd failed him the last three times he'd worn them. He kissed her to try to gauge her mood. She grasped his suspenders and returned the kiss with a fervor that told him she was just as up for it as he was, but, unfortunately, there wasn't much adventurous potential in a small condo with a sleeping 21 year old down the hall. He wished Sharon weren't so adamant about the balcony being off-limits. The idea had always intrigued him, but Sharon had vetoed it more than once.

"'sa lil' warm inhere," Sharon slurred. "Takethis ou'side?"

Andy could tell Sharon's slurred speech sounded seductive in her mind, but he wasn't about to shatter the image for her. Especially since she'd finally agreed to the balcony. He readily agreed, but a thought occurred to him. "Wait, you do want to do this, right? You're not, I mean..."

Sharon rolled her eyes. He could be such a priss. "I'm a little drunk, Andy, but it's not like I don't know what I'm doing." She spoke more slowly and was careful to enunciate this time. "But you better take your chance for balcony sex now before I sober up."

"Right away, Commander." Okay, Andy could really get on board with Drunk Sharon. Unfortunately, one thing he'd failed to consider in his excitement was the cooler night temperatures. The 55-degree air wasn't exactly girth-friendly. He could practically feel himself shrivel up soon after they got each other undressed, and he lightly pushed Sharon's hand away when he could tell where she was headed.

Sharon giggled. "For heaven's sake, Andy, I know what cold air does. It's not like I've never seen or touched you before, I know there's more where this came from." Her hand went back to her intended destination. Andy tensed at first, still a little self-conscious, but her warm hand and the cold air had an interesting contrast. As they progressed, Andy realized that another thing he'd failed to consider was the lack of furniture. The cold, hard tile of the balcony wasn't doing much for him. He was officially over it when a clumsy, more-vigorous-than-usual Sharon caused him to lose his balance and end up with the watering can up his ass. While that wasn't the most unfortunate position in which he could've landed, it was close. He winced just thinking about it.

"Damn it." Andy shifted as he reached behind him for the watering can and tossed it to the other side of the balcony.

Sharon cringed and bit her lip. "Sorry, honey."

"It's okay." They found their rhythm again, but Andy was still frustratingly flaccid a little while later.

Sharon was still a little cold and was entering the drowsy stage of drunkenness, and she suddenly just wanted to go to bed. "Andy, it's okay if—"

"No, no, it'll happen," Andy murmured. "Just a bit of a cold weather delay." It finally did happen, but the flaccidity didn't stay away nearly as long as usual. He hadn't even come close to getting Sharon off. Damn the cold air. He groaned when he realized he was going prematurely limp. This hadn't been what he thought it would be at all, and he was probably going to be sore the next day from maneuvering around on the hard tile. He'd tried to keep Sharon from having much contact with the floor, and he was going to pay for it the next day.

Sharon bit back a smile. "It's okay. We're going to need some warmer weather and bigger furniture before we try that again."

Andy cocked his head. "Again? Really?" He was definitely willing to try again after they'd worked out some logistics, but he didn't think she would be. He was shocked that she'd suggested it tonight.

Sharon shrugged as she clumsily started putting her clothes back on. "It was better than I thought it would be." Her drunkenness was starting to wear off, but her mind was still muddled, and she just wanted to collapse into bed and sleep it off. "I'm going to bed. Love you."

"Love you. Goodnight." Andy kissed her and opened the balcony door for her, but stayed behind to gather his clothes and make sure nothing looked amiss. He'd still had his work clothes on when they came outside, so he just put his boxers back on. He spotted Sharon's bra under the table, so he made sure to grab that before returning the watering can to its rightful place. He couldn't imagine the whining they'd be subjected to if Rusty found Sharon's bra on the balcony.

After leaving Andy on the balcony, Sharon went to the bathroom to get ready for bed. It didn't matter how drunk she was, she'd never been able to go to bed without being in her pajamas, washing her face, and brushing her teeth. When she was finished in the bathroom, she slipped one of her favorite nightgowns over her head and fell into bed. It had been a long time since she'd had so much to drink, and the older she got, the worse it affected her. Not to mention that she'd have to get up to go to the bathroom during the night even more than usual. Ugh, getting older sucked.

By the time Andy was ready for bed and had found what he hoped was a good hiding place for Sharon's "gifts," she was under the covers and lightly snoring. He'd never heard her do that before. He chuckled to himself, knowing it would be a long time before he saw her drunk again, if ever. It had definitely been entertaining. He put a glass of water on her nightstand and climbed in beside her.

The next morning, Sharon groaned when she woke up with a pounding headache. Yeah, she was never drinking again. Her tongue felt fuzzy, and her mouth tasted disgusting, despite brushing her teeth twice before bed. She took inventory of the rest of her body, relieved that she didn't feel like she would throw up. Coffee and Advil would take care of her headache, and a couple of hours curled up on the couch would remedy the general "ugh" feeling. She reached over and fumbled for her glasses on the nightstand, but they weren't there, and she almost knocked over the now-empty water glass that had undoubtedly been left by Andy. She guessed Andy had put it there, and she'd definitely been grateful for it when she woke up in the middle of the night with her mouth feeling like cotton. As she lay in bed, the events of the night before slowly started coming to her, and she couldn't believe Andy had been able to kiss her if her mouth had tasted like that then...Shit, they had sex on the balcony! While she didn't really regret the "balcony" part, she couldn't believe she'd done that when Rusty could've woken up at any time and looked for her. It wasn't like her bedroom, where she could lock both doors. She tried to summon the energy to reach for her phone and text Andrea to blame her for her hangover, but that reminded her of the shower from the day before, and she remembered that her gifts were still on the kitchen counter. Damn it! Sharon jumped up and hurried into the kitchen, which didn't do her headache any favors, and found Andy brewing some tea.

Andy couldn't help but laugh when he heard Sharon's panicked footsteps coming down the hall. He figured she'd realized she left her gifts out when she came home. "Don't worry, I put everything away last night," he assured her when she came in.

"Thank you. I'd rather try to give Rusty at least a couple of months cushion before traumatizing him again." Sharon held the heel of her hand to her temple. "Moving that fast was not a good idea." She walked over to Andy and leaned into his chest.

Andy kissed her forehead. "Well, I know a thing or two about hangovers, believe it or not. I'm not kidding, the best way I know to get rid of one is to run a couple of miles, drink water, and then eat a little grease." Sharon pulled away from him and gave him a disgusted look. That sounded like hell on this earth. Andy shrugged. "Or, there's always coffee and Advil. Want me to cook some bacon for you?"

"Now you're speaking my language." Sharon dug some Advil out of the medicine cabinet, drank a glass of water, and started the coffee. Fifteen minutes later, she was stepping out of a hot shower and felt a bit better. Once she was dressed in her most comfortable yoga pants and softest LAPD sweatshirt, she went to the kitchen for breakfast. There was a plate with a couple of pieces of bacon on the counter, and Andy was making an omelet at the stove. "This looks great, honey, thank you. I'm sorry you had to deal with me last night...Do you know where my glasses are?"

"Are you kidding?! We finally...well, you know." Andy didn't want to say anything about that out loud, since Rusty had been sleeping for twelve hours and would probably be waking up any minute. He handed her glasses to her that he'd put aside the night before. "You were fine. I've never seen that side of you before. It was kind of interesting."

"And hopefully never will again. I hope Rusty didn't wake up while we were out there." Sharon grabbed a piece of bacon and poured a mug of coffee.

Andy shook his head. "I doubt it. The kid was unconscious."

By the time Sharon's omelet was ready, Rusty was shuffling into the kitchen. His cheeks weren't flushed anymore, and he looked a little more like himself. "Morning, honey, how'd you sleep?"

"Like a rock. I didn't even hear you come in last night." Rusty had gone to bed before 9:00 and had barely moved until now. Sharon gave Andy a relieved look, and he shot one back that was a mix of amusement and I told you so. "Ugh, stop talking with your eyes! It creeps me out when you guys do that."

Sharon rolled her eyes. "You look like your fever's gone," she noted as she held her hand to his forehead. "I think it's safe to say you're on the mend."

"I do feel better," Rusty agreed. "Just sore."

"Hey, kid, you want an omelet?" Andy offered as he scooped Sharon's onto a plate.

"Yeah, that sounds good. Thanks."

After breakfast, Andy left to run a few errands. The original plan had been for him and Sharon to do that together and then eat an early lunch, but he had a feeling she wouldn't be getting off of the couch. Sure enough, by the time he was dressed, she and Rusty were both wrapped up in blankets on the couch, and Rusty was whining about the Hallmark Christmas movie that was on TV. "Come on, Andy, stay just long enough to help me outnumber Mom on this crap," Rusty moaned.

"Sorry, kid, you're on your own." Andy kissed Sharon and ruffled Rusty's hair. "I'll be back soon. I may, uh, look at some patio furniture if I have time."

Rusty perked up. "You're getting new patio furniture? I've been telling you, like, forever that we need some." He looked at Andy. "She says we don't go out there enough for better furniture, but I try to tell her we'd go out there more if we had somewhere comfortable to sit, and..." He held his hands up in defeat. "It's a vicious cycle...What changed your mind?" Andy slipped out the door, ignoring the glare he was getting from Sharon.

"Well, I'm hopeful that we'll find a house soon, and we'll need some porch furniture then. If we find some we like, we might as well go ahead and get it and enjoy it here for a while, too." Sharon turned her attention to the TV, hoping Rusty would drop it. No such luck.

"But you guys have been looking at houses for months, now, why are you just now wanting new furniture? And that's just more furniture to move if you guys ever do find a house."

"We just...I don't know...Shh, Rusty, I don't want to miss this." The current movie and the one following looked pretty good and actually didn't have that annoying woman in it that was in a lot of them. It was like Hallmark knew she was hungover.

Rusty rolled his eyes. "It's not CSI, Mom. You'll catch up."

Later that afternoon, Sharon was cooking a stew that Rusty liked and was also healthy enough for Andy to eat. She'd started feeling herself again around noon. As she was cutting up the carrots, a conversation with her roommates her junior year of college made her laugh out loud. She'd forgotten all about that morning until now.

January 1977

Sharon woke up one Sunday morning, alarmed when a figure stirred beside her, until Jack sat up. They'd gone to his fraternity's Winter Formal the night before, and Jack had been sick recently and was still taking an antibiotic that bothered his stomach, so he hadn't had much to drink. For once, Sharon hadn't needed to be the responsible one, and she'd taken advantage of it. A little too much. She'd had alcohol before, and she'd been a little drunk before, but nothing like last night. Her head felt squirrelly as she sat up, and her stomach lurched ominously. She vaguely remembered being on the dance floor the night before, but anything after that was a black hole. "Ughhh..."

"You can't possibly throw up again," Jack muttered as he sat up.

"Oh, my god, I'm so sor—oh, god." Sharon jumped up, ran into her bathroom, and dry-heaved over the toilet for a couple of minutes before her stomach finally calmed down. From the smell in the bathroom, she guessed she'd already thrown up too much to have anything left this morning, but she had no memory of any of it. She hoped she hadn't made too much of a fool of herself. She'd never blacked out before, and she didn't like not knowing what happened for any amount of time. She could hear her two roommates talking in the kitchen. They were obviously unaware that Jack had spent the night, which he'd never done before, because they seemed to be talking about breakfast. She heard something about sausage, and then carrots and...eggplant? Sausage made sense, it was breakfast time, after all, but what did carrots and eggplant have to do with anything? Neither of them even liked eggplant. Sharon washed her face and redid her lopsided ponytail. She didn't have makeup smudged all over her face, so she must've at least had the presence of mind to wash her face the night before, but washing it again made her feel a tiny bit better. The sink water was excruciatingly loud while she washed her face, so brushing her teeth would have to wait. She looked down and realized she was wearing pajama shorts and one of Jack's fraternity t-shirts that she had no memory of putting on. She closed the door so she could use the bathroom, then went back out to her bedroom.

Jack had changed into his tux at Sharon's apartment the evening before, so he'd changed back into the clothes he'd worn over there. "Want me to go get some breakfast? I know just the hangover spot."

Of course he did. "Yes. Please." Sharon stumbled into the kitchen behind Jack and leaned against the counter as he found his keys and left.

"Nothing happened," Sharon insisted as she got a glass of water.

"We know. Jack came in last night with you thrown over his shoulder." Jill laughed. "I never thought I'd see you passed out."

Sharon looked down at her pajamas. "So, how...uh..." Jack had never seen her in anything less than a swimsuit, and she hoped to god that this was still the case.

"That was us," Patsy assured her. "You were starting to come to when you guys came in and were already mumbling about your pajamas. We knew you wouldn't go to bed without them, so we banished Jack to the living room and helped you change. We helped you wash your face and brush your teeth, too."

"I am so sorry." Sharon started gulping down her water. "Thank you."

"Whoa, not so fast, unless you want it to come right back up." Jill took the glass and waited a few moments before returning it. "And don't worry about it. You take care of us all the time when we're drunk."

"But I'm thirsty!" Sharon whined.

"I know, but if you drink it too fast, you won't be able to hold it down," Jill explained. "I heard you throwing up for most of the night, so I think you need a little break."

"I am never drinking again," Sharon moaned.

"I said the same thing the first time I had a hangover," Patsy replied. "And I didn't...Until the next weekend."

"How does this go away?!" Sharon pressed her head against the cold countertop, which felt amazing against her pounding head.

Patsy shrugged. "Just time. Take some Aspirin, and then you'll feel a little better after you eat, but you're not going to want to get off of the couch today." An evil grin spread across her face. "You've already had breakfast, though, haven't you? I thought you might've had some sausage."

Sharon's face clouded over in confusion. "I haven't left my room until now. Where would I have gotten sausage?"

Jill snorted and almost choked on her bagel. "I told you, Patsy, Jack's been on that health food kick. It was probably a carrot or eggplant. Or maybe zucchini?"

"How would I have any of that in my bedroom?!" Sharon demanded. She'd been a little bit hungover before, but never this hungover. She'd never even thrown up before. Maybe she was hallucinating. Realization finally dawned on her when Jill made a lewd motion with her hand and her mouth. "Nooooo! That did not happen!" Sharon buried her face in her hands. She'd heard them talk about actually doing that, but it sounded so gross. "Will I, uh, actually have to do that at some point?"

Patsy nodded sagely. "If you want Jack, or whoever, to reciprocate, which I highly recommend, then yes."

Back to present

Patsy had been right, having "sausage" for breakfast, or at any time, was a small price to pay for being on the receiving end. Sharon laughed helplessly as she cut up the carrots (literal, not figurative) until tears were streaming down her cheeks. "Mooooom, what is so funny?!" Rusty moaned from the couch. Andy was reading the paper at the bar, and he looked up, amused.

"Oh, I was just, uh, remembering how Ricky said 'carrots' when he was little. He called them 'awwots,' and it was usually followed by 'yuck.'"

Rusty rolled his eyes, not surprised that something so dumb made Sharon laugh, but Andy looked skeptical. He didn't address it until they went to bed that night. "So, what were you really laughing about earlier?"

Sharon giggled. "Cutting up the carrots reminded me of a conversation one morning with my college roommates. Let's just say I learned the finer points oral sex that day."

Andy raised his eyebrows. "Really...I'll have to meet these ladies some day and thank them."


	9. Chapter 9

The Tuesday morning before Thanksgiving, Sharon sat in her car in the pick-up area outside of LAX, eagerly watching for Emily to come out. She was staying for almost two weeks and wasn't going back until after the wedding, which was a treat. She usually only came home for a couple of days, if at all, for Thanksgiving, because of training and rehearsals for her upcoming Christmas performances. She could afford to take a smaller part in The Nutcracker this year after a couple of years of mostly lead roles in her performances, so she had more free time before she had to be back in New York. She'd also started to make a little bit of noise about moving back to LA, and Sharon hoped that this was a step in that direction. It would be easy for her to get in with a well-paying ballet company here. She had a serious boyfriend in New York, but his job consisted of traveling and working from home, and his parents lived in San Diego, so moving back to LA was a possibility for both of them. Sharon finally spotted a tiny, black-clad figure with her first-born's signature ballet bun approaching her car, and she jumped out to greet her. "Hi, my baby girl!" Sharon threw her arms around Emily and held her tightly. It seemed like it had been an eternity since she'd seen her the previous summer.

"I'm 34, Mom, do you really still have to call me that?" Emily laughed.

"With these stretch marks I got from carrying you for nine months? I can call you anything I want, young lady." Sharon smiled as she helped Emily put her bags in the back seat, then pulled her into her arms again. "I'm so happy to see you!"

"I know, July seems so long ago, now." Emily buried her face in Sharon's shoulder and held on to her a little longer than usual. On her last visit home, she'd gotten fitted for her bridesmaid dress, and this time, her mother had cancer.

"I'm going to be fine, honey," Sharon said softly as she continued to hold her. At 9:30 in the morning, there wasn't much pick-up traffic, so she wasn't worried about getting out of the way. Emily finally pulled away from her, so they got in the car and drove off. "Anywhere you want to go before we go home?"

"You're not working?"

Sharon shook her head. "I told you I was off for the rest of the week." Major Crimes had been struggling with the FBI for control of their case, but now that the boys were safe and her children were starting to arrive home for Thanksgiving, she had decided to let the FBI ruin their own Thanksgivings and enjoy hers with her family. Ricky would be arriving the next afternoon, and she couldn't wait to have all three of her children under one roof. She'd go back into Darth Mode on Monday and let Mason handle them until then.

"But are you, like, for real off, or the kind of 'off' where you disappear for crime scenes and the morgue and stay attached to your phone?"

Sharon chuckled. "I'm, like, for real off."

"Can we go to the beach, then? The weather in New York has been disgusting this week. I need some sunshine."

"Sounds good to me. It's been a little chilly this week, but it's beautiful today."

Emily rolled her eyes. "Chilly? What, 60 degrees? Mom. It was 17 degrees when I left my apartment this morning."

"Try growing up in the Pacific Northwest, where it's bone-chillingly cold and rains for most of the winter. At least you get more snow than rain. Snow is a little bit more bearable than freezing rain."

Emily nodded. "Okay. I'll give you that." As they neared the beach and Sharon was looking for a parking spot, Emily shed her cardigan, leggings, and boots and rooted through her carry-on for a pair of sandals. She'd stuffed her large coat in her luggage before she checked it when she arrived at the airport that morning, but she'd still needed the leggings and sweater in addition to her dress for the plane.

As they walked along the beach barefoot, shoes in hand, the warm sunshine and the sound of the waves crashing against the shore visibly relaxed them both. Sharon could tell that something was on Emily's mind, though, as they idly chatted. She hoped she and her boyfriend hadn't had an argument. Emily had no idea, but Sharon knew that her boyfriend was planning to propose to her in January. She would be finishing up her radiation treatments and getting the results, and it was close to Ricky's birthday, so she, Andy, Ricky, and Rusty had planned to visit Emily in New York that weekend. No one else knew he was proposing, though. She had initially planned the weekend knowing that she would want to be with all of her children after getting her test results, regardless of whether the news was good or bad. After Emily told her boyfriend about the planned visit, Emmett had called her to talk to her about asking a Emily to marry him that same weekend, since they would all be there to celebrate. Sharon was thrilled about it. She really liked him, and it was obvious that he adored Emily. He was supposed to come home with her for Thanksgiving, but had decided not to at the last minute. Emily hadn't given her any details over the phone, and Sharon was afraid that they were having trouble.

"Did Emmett decide to visit his parents instead of coming here?" Sharon finally asked after they'd been walking for a while. She was trying not to pry, but she was dying to know what was going on.

"Yeah, but he'll probably drive up this weekend. We just decided that we have the rest of our lives to argue about where we're going for which holiday and when, so for Thanksgiving and Christmas this year, we're just going to stick with our own families' traditions." Sharon gave Emily a sidelong glance, wondering if she knew more about Emmett's plans than she was letting on. "I don't think we're getting engaged soon," Emily clarified, "but I hope we'll at least be close to that by this time next year. Emmett's so anal about finances and his career and stuff, it'll probably be a while before he's ready to get married."

Sharon quietly sighed in relief. "And what do you think?"

Emily shrugged. "I know I want to marry him, and I'm not in a big hurry, either..."

"But..." Sharon gently prodded.

"I don't know. I know I want to marry Emmett, I mean, I think I know that. I'm trying not to think like a stereotypical child of divorced parents, but you're the best judge of character I know. I'm not saying you should've known Dad was going to turn out to be an alcoholic and basically abandon us, but if you missed that before you guys got engaged, then there's no telling what I'm missing. I'm just afraid that there are some red flags about Emmett I'm missing now that will turn out to be a big problem later."

"Honey, I wasn't born being a good judge of character. It's something I picked up with the nature of my job and the experience of raising a family. One huge advantage you have over me is that you and Emmett already know each other as functional adults with careers. You know how he reacts to stress and career setbacks, and you can see that he is devoted to you through all of that." Sharon looped her arm through Emily's and gently indicated for her to stop walking and sit down. They settled beside each other in the sand and faced the ocean. "Your dad and I met our freshman year of college and got engaged a month before we graduated. It was a different time then. Most of the people I knew either got married during college or were engaged by the time they graduated. Your dad drank a lot, but I drank a lot more than I did after I started working, too. We were college kids. I just assumed that once we were out of school and had jobs, he would settle down like I did."

Sharon paused and stared out at the ocean for a few moments. "We got married the summer after his first year of law school and my first year as a police officer. He still drank a lot that year we were engaged, but he was still in school, so I didn't think much of it. Law school was a lot more difficult than undergrad, but the student lifestyle still allowed for him to drink a lot more than I could with early hours, twelve-hour shifts, putting in overtime hours to pay for his tuition, and being on call. I still just assumed that the more stringent hours of having a career and the responsibility that comes with starting a family would settle him down. There's more to marriage than hoping your husband isn't an addict who leaves you and only comes back when he needs something, but I think you guys are at a point in your lives where you would have an idea of that being a possibility. There's no way you can know everything about someone before you get married, and you will probably learn some darker secrets about him as the years go by, but that will be true of anyone you marry. We all have our dark sides, but people respond to them in different ways. Your dad wasn't willing to commit to overcoming his, and he let it overcome any love and commitment he felt toward me."

"And us," Emily scoffed.

Sharon gave her a sad smile. "Honey, his absence had to do with me and his addiction. Not you guys. I wasn't perfect, either, and I definitely said and did some things I shouldn't have. Nothing to warrant him leaving me, but we had our arguments. I didn't always exactly make our house a pleasant place for him to be the few times he was around. I did everything I could to help him straighten up, though, and while it worked sometimes, it never lasted very long, as you well remember."

Emily wrinkled her nose. "I also remember you making our house a little too pleasant for him. Ricky and I may have slept upstairs, but those floors must've been thin or something. I didn't realize what was happening at the time, but looking back, there are nights where you guys definitely weren't arguing."

Sharon's cheeks flushed. "Sorry, honey," she said wryly. "But that was definitely one of your dad's good qualities."

"Ewwwwwwww! Mom!"

"I didn't mean to gross you out, but I'm sure you've wondered why I let him come back home when he wanted to. A lot of it had to do with you guys, because I wanted to preserve your relationship with him as well as I could. But, I also missed him when he was gone. I missed him the way he was when he had a good job, wasn't falling over drunk, and emptying our bank accounts with gambling losses, anyway."

Emily nodded. They'd never had this conversation before. She knew her mom missed him when he was gone, but she'd always thought that had more to do with being the only adult in the house again and not having any help with her and Ricky. "What else did you like about him?"

"He was comfortable and familiar, and he knew me better than anyone else. He was one of those frustratingly intelligent people who rarely studied and made top grades, and I've always been attracted to smart men. I never had boyfriends in high school, and when he first showed interest in me, I was absolutely smitten. He was so good-looking and so charming. Girls were after him like nothing I'd ever seen before, and I was shocked that he liked me. By the time we were engaged, he seemed perfect on paper." Sharon ran her fingers through the cool sand as she spoke. Before she'd started getting nervous about marrying Andy, she hadn't thought about any of this in a long time. "His future seemed bright, we had so much fun together, he knew my quirks and made me feel comfortable with him, and his parents and I really liked each other. I was a naive 22 year old, and I was too excited about being engaged and planning a wedding to really think about what it really meant in the long-run and whether I was ready. My parents' misgivings about him should've caused me to slow down and think about it, too, but, at the time, I think that just added to his appeal."

"It's hard to think about Dad like that, but in a way, I guess he was kind of like that with us, too. He was always so much fun when he was home, unless he was drunk and yelling." Emily was starting to get restless, so she stood up, and Sharon followed suit. They started walking back in the direction from where they'd come. "It's also hard to think about Andy being an alcoholic," Emily continued. "Are you ever afraid that he's going to start drinking again?" She'd never had the courage to ask this before, but after their conversation, she got a little boost of courage.

"Not really. Long before I ever thought we would even be dating, I could see how committed he was to staying sober. He and your dad are both alcoholics, but Andy realized years ago that it wasn't worth losing his family. He's had difficulty with his ex-wife and children, lost his dad, and we often see highly disturbing things at work, and he's remained sober through all of that. Your dad hasn't been sober for longer than a couple of months at a time, and Andy's been sober for over two decades, now. I honestly can't see him falling off of the wagon at this point, but, worst-case scenario, let's say he does start drinking, for some reason. His children wouldn't speak to him, and he and I wouldn't be on good terms, either. I know it wouldn't be easy, but I would be willing to help him get sober again, and I know he would get back to the point where his love for his family and me comes before his desire for alcohol. Your dad never quite reached that point."

"I guess that makes sense. I even forget Andy's an alcoholic sometimes, but I'm also not the one marrying him next week. I just wondered if that ever crossed your mind."

"I did start having second thoughts a couple of weeks ago," Sharon admitted. "That's when I started thinking through all of the ways in which Andy is different from your dad, and I have no doubts, now."

"Good. I'm so happy you guys are getting married."

"Me, too." On the way back to the car, they passed a restaurant advertising weekday brunch because of Thanksgiving. Sharon glanced at Emily. "You interested? I could kill a Bloody Mary."

"Ooh, yeah. A Bellini sounds awesome." They were led to a table outside, overlooking the beach, and their drinks arrived shortly after.

Once they'd placed their food orders, Sharon took a long sip of her drink and studied Emily. "Do you feel any better about your relationship with Emmett? I got a little sidetracked talking about your dad, and we never circled back to that."

"A lot better. You're right, there's no way to ever know every little thing about him, but...He just feels right, if that makes sense. I don't feel the pressure to get married like you probably did before you and Dad got engaged, and I would be perfectly fine on my own, but I want to be with him."

Sharon nodded. "Those thoughts sound very familiar. With Andy," she quickly clarified.

When they got home, Emily collapsed on the couch. She'd been awake for almost ten hours, and it wasn't even noon in L.A. yet. Once Emily was asleep, Sharon covered her with a blanket and slipped out to the balcony to check in with her team. Yeah, she was "off," but...She needed to ease into it. When she got off of the phone, she went inside to clean up and get organized for her Thanksgiving meal. She didn't have a final headcount for Thanksgiving dinner, and she'd invited the entire team and Andrea, but the lull in the case meant some of them might have a chance to visit family at the last minute. It would definitely be a tight squeeze if everyone did show up, but she could make it work. Emily was a heavy sleeper, so Sharon played music from her phone as she started pulling things out of the refrigerator. Ricky had given her one of those Alexa things for Christmas last year, but she still hadn't taken the time to sit down with it and see what all she could do with it. It was useful when she, Andy, and/or Rusty were listening to music so they could take turns playing what they wanted to hear, but when it was just her, her iTunes collection still worked just fine. She didn't particularly enjoy cooking or cleaning, but music always made it more bearable. She found herself singing along as she sorted through ingredients and started putting things together.

"Have mercy, baby, on a poor girl like me, You know I'm falling, falling, falling, at your feet, I'm tingling right from my head to my toes, So help me, help me, help me make the feeling go.

'Cause when the loving starts, and the lights go down,  
And there's not another living soul around,  
You woo me until the sun comes up,  
And you say that you love me."

Emily woke up a couple of hours later, and she could hear the washing machine and dryer running and smell food cooking. The sweet smell of laundry detergent and fabric softener mingled in, too, and that combination of smells had been her favorite thing about the house she grew up in. Their garage door was between the kitchen and the laundry room, so when she got home from ballet in the evenings, she could always smell Sharon cooking dinner. Between her and Ricky, it seemed like the laundry was never ending, so there was also usually the fragrance of laundry being done mixed in with the smell of food cooking, and she could smell it the second she stepped into the garage. She was groggy and a little confused at first, but the familiar, comforting blend of aromas reminded her that she was home before she even opened her eyes. She could hear Sharon singing in the kitchen and figured she was either cooking more or cleaning. She knew she should get up and help, but she remained lying down and listened for a few more moments. Growing up, she'd actually liked her mom's "old people music," and now there were songs she liked even more, simply because they reminded her of her childhood.

"Go away, so far away It's too late to turn back now, and it don't matter anyhow 'Cause you were right, I'm to blame Can't go on the same old way, can't keep up the same old game

Why can't you just get it through your head?  
It's over, it's over now  
Yes you heard me clearly now I said  
It's over, it's over, now, I'm not really over you, you might say that I can't take it, I can't take it, Lord, I swear, I just can't take it no more."

Emily was about to get up when she heard Andy come in the door. Sharon wasn't expecting him or Rusty yet, so she went toward the door to see who came home early and why. Emily watched as Andy kissed Sharon and took his jacket off. While she remembered some happier moments between her parents, including some she'd rather forget, she never remembered them casually kissing when they got home from work. They were either crazy about each other or arguing. There never seemed to be much of an in-between. While Sharon and Andy were clearly hot for each other, which she'd also rather not think about, there also seemed to be a level of respect and concern for one another's well-being that she was fairly certain had never existed between her parents. Andy's appraising look over Sharon as she fiddled with his tie seemed to be more about assessing how she was, in general, than about judging her mood for his own sake or ogling her breasts, as Jack's would have been. Emily had never paid close attention to Sharon's and Andy's interactions before, but now that their wedding was approaching and things had been serious with her own boyfriend for a while now, she paid closer attention and was pleased with what she saw.

"You're home early," Sharon commented.

"Yeah. There's not much we can do, and the FBI is treating us like we don't know what we're doing. Now they're at a standstill, because guess who really doesn't know what they're doing."

Sharon nodded. "I'd be more worried if the boys were still missing, but everything else can wait until Monday."

"Yeah..." Andy's face brightened when he noticed Emily sitting up. "Hi, sweetheart! How was your flight?"

"Early," Emily moaned.

"I know. I thought you'd be asleep." Andy walked over to the couch and wrapped her in a warm hug.

"Yeah, I just woke up." Emily yawned and rubbed her eyes, trying to clear the cobwebs out of her brain.

"I can tell." Andy kissed the top of her head. "I'm glad you're home, honey."


	10. Chapter 10

After dinner Tuesday evening, Andy went to a meeting, and Sharon and Emily each poured a glass of wine and went out to the balcony. Rusty had just gotten home, so he was still eating dinner. "I like the new furniture," Emily commented, eyeing the new lounge chairs Sharon and Andy had bought the week before. "But why didn't you guys wait until you find a house? This is just more stuff to move."

"I just, uh, saw it and liked it, so I went ahead and got it. Did I tell you we finally decided on a song for our first dance at the reception?" Sharon asked, desperate to change the subject.

"No! Mom, you've been holding out!"

Sharon scrolled through the songs on her phone until she found what she was looking for. "It was actually Andy's idea. I knew it, and I've always liked it, I just didn't think about it." She reached the song and hit play. One of the hardest things about choosing a song had been that most of her favorites reminded her of Jack in some way, but this one definitely did not.

Precious love, I'll give to you  
Blue as the sky and deep  
In the eyes of a love so true

Beautiful face, you make me feel  
Light on the stairs and lost  
In the air of a love so real

You can count on me  
Count on my love  
Count on me  
Count on my love  
To see you through

Emerald eyes and China perfume  
Caught on the wheel and lost  
In the feel of a love so soon

Ruby lips, you make my song  
Into the night and saved by  
The light of a love so strong  
You can count on me

Count on my love  
Count on me  
Count on my love  
To see you through

"Wow, Mom, that's perfect," Emily said when the song was over. "What took Andy so long to mention it? This had to be recent."

Sharon tucked her legs under her and looked out over the city lights. "I think he was kind of embarrassed, although he shouldn't have been. He heard the song on the radio before he'd even thought about us dating. He didn't hate me anymore, and actually was starting to like me, but not in a romantic way yet. Just in the same way the rest of the team was starting to like me instead of just tolerating me because I was their boss." She took a long sip of wine. "I think it made him think of how I'd never been able to really count on Jack and how hard that must've been, which humanized me a little bit, if that makes sense. I think he kind of started fantasizing about us dating. Not in an obsessive way, just in a 'she's my boss, I prefer women at least ten years younger than me and it would never really happen, but it's fun to think about' kind of way. Then, little by little..." Sharon shrugged. "We made it here."

The sliding door opened, interrupting her thoughts, and Rusty came outside. He wedged himself beside Sharon in her lounge chair. "Well, just make yourself comfortable," she teased.

"Oh, I am. Don't worry." Rusty wiggled against her with exaggerated movements before settling beside her.

Sharon brushed his hair back from his face. "How was your day?"

"Long. Andrea was trying to finish things up so she could be off for the rest of the week, and it took forever. I met my quota for my internship hours this quarter, though, so it was worth it. All I have left are finals, and then..."

"My baby boy graduates!" Sharon gushed, ruffling his hair.

"Ew, Mom, don't say that. That's gross." Rusty ducked away from her and smoothed down his hair. "And did you have to do that this morning?! My hair's felt weird all day."

Emily looked confused. "How can your hair feel we—never mind. I don't want to know. On that note, I need another glass of wine. Mom?"

Sharon drained the rest of her glass and gave it to Emily. "Thanks, honey."

A little while later, Andy was home, and Emily had gotten a second helping of the cucumber slices Andy had soaked in vinegar for part of dinner. Rusty wrinkled his nose. "How do you eat those? Vinegar is disgusting...No offense, Andy."

"None taken." Andy grinned. "Your mom loves my cucumber, that's all I care about."

Sharon shrugged disinterestedly. "I've had better."

Andy looked taken aback, but he couldn't further investigate what she was talking about with Emily and Rusty around. Rusty didn't miss the look on Andy's face. "What...Oh, come on, you guys! Nothing is safe around you anymore!"

Emily rolled her eyes. "Relax, Rusty, that stopped being funny in middle school. He's probably just talking about the cucumber."

"Get your mind out of the gutter, young man," Sharon agreed, trying to hold back a laugh.

"Andy, I like the song you picked for the reception," Emily said, changing the subject.

Andy nodded. "Well, your mom vetoed Superfreak, so..."

Sharon nearly spit out her wine. "Andy!"

Later that night, Emily was ready for bed and half-asleep on the couch, patiently waiting for everyone else to go to bed and give her some peace. Andy leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "Go get in your mom's bed, honey. You've had a long day. I'll sleep in here tonight."

"Thanks. Goodnight, you guys...Hey, baby brother, if any of your organs explode tonight, how about telling someone?"

"Ugh, too soon, Emily," Rusty groaned.

Emily yawned and trudged down the hall. She was happy about Sharon's and Andy's relationship, but she wasn't so happy about losing her sleeping spot.

When Rusty left the room to take a shower, Andy turned toward Sharon. "So, uh, before, what did you mean by you've 'had better?'" He couldn't help asking. If they hadn't had the "metaphorical produce" conversation a couple of weeks before, he wouldn't have thought anything of it.

Sharon gave him an innocent look. "I meant that I've had better. It's pretty self-explanatory."

"You know what I mean!"

Sharon shrugged. "I meant that I've had better cucumbers. I don't know what else I can tell you."

"Okay. You want to be that way? I'll remember that." Andy pushed her hair back from her neck and started kissing her.

"Ooh, that'll teach me," Sharon murmured.

A few minutes later, Andy tore himself away and went to the laundry room to find some pajamas, not wanting to disturb Emily. By the time he'd changed, Rusty was padding down the hall and flopped on the couch beside Sharon. "Andy, I'll sleep out here, and you can sleep in my bed," he offered. "I didn't think about it before, but Emily's probably passed out by now. I don't have a death wish, so I'm not waking her up to get in my bed."

"Thanks, kid. If she's anything like her mother, I don't blame you. The couch is hell on my back, but she looked like she was about to fall over." Andy grinned at Sharon. "And now I don't have to sleep alone."

"Oh, yes you do," Rusty insisted. "You and Mom are not sleeping in my bed."

Sharon rolled her eyes. "Honestly, Rusty, do you think we'd—"

"Stop, Mom, don't finish that sentence. That's just gross."

On Thanksgiving morning, Sharon was finishing up preparations for dinner when Emily started stirring on the couch. As much as she liked the old arrangement of sleeping with her mom when she wasn't the only child home, Ricky had gotten the short end on sleeping arrangements. He'd been relegated from what was now Rusty's room to the couch after Rusty moved in, and he'd been demoted to an air mattress on the floor in Rusty's room after Andy moved in and Emily got booted out of Sharon's bed. She turned the TV on and turned it to the Macy's Thanksgiving parade, which was just beginning. She got up to take a shower so she wouldn't have to fight for one later and was prepared to veg out in front of the TV, but Sharon's motions in the kitchen made her feel guilty. "You need any help?"

Sharon rinsed her hands off and dried them with a dish towel. "No, I'm just about done. All that's left to do is fix a mimosa."

"Ooh, make that two, please."

"You got it." Still in her pajamas, Sharon joined Emily on the couch and handed her a glass. She'd obviously had the same idea as Emily, as her hair was wet and she was wearing different pajamas than the night before.

"Thanks, Mom. Mimosas are kind of like sandwiches. Even though I do the exact same thing, yours just taste better...Where's Andy? Is he still asleep?"

Sharon shook her head. "I decided to just buy a dessert instead of making something, so he ran out to do that. I doubt much of it will get eaten, so I didn't want to take the time to make one, but it just felt wrong not to have dessert." They lounged on the couch, sipping their drinks and watching the parade, as Andy arrived with the dessert and Rusty and Ricky eventually woke up and made their way into the living room. Just like any other time Emily and/or Ricky were home for a visit, there had already been a few moments that reminded Sharon that their usually-stalled house-hunting process needed to be stepped up a bit.

"Mooooom, I have to pee!" Rusty complained later that morning. "Andy's been in there forever! Can we, like, make him go down to the lobby next time he has to blow up the bathroom?"

"You saw him headed down the hall with the newspaper under his arm just as plainly as I did," Sharon pointed out. "He would've let you go first if you had asked."

"I didn't have to go then."

Sharon raised her eyebrows. "You didn't have to go less than ten minutes ago, and now you have to go badly enough to complain about it? I haven't had a conversation like this since Ricky was about four."

"Whoa, just sitting here!" Ricky protested.

"I didn't have to go that bad then," Rusty amended.

"Well, nothing's stopping you from going down to the bathroom in the lobby, yourself."

"But I'd have to put real clothes on, then. I don't have to do that for two more hours." Rusty looked at her like that should've been obvious.

"Well, then, I don't know what to tell you. Just don't potty in your pants."

"Mo-om!"

"Sorry. Wrong kid. And wrong decade, thank goodness." Andy finally emerged from the bathroom, and Rusty hurried down the hall.

"What's with him?" Andy asked as he came into the living room.

"Just another instance of the 'five people, one bathroom' problem," Sharon answered. "We have to find a house."

By 3:00 that afternoon, everyone had gotten dressed and dinner was mostly done. Provenza, Patrice, and Andrea were the only extras coming, and as much as she loved everyone else who had been invited, Sharon was glad to be having a reasonably quiet Thanksgiving. Provenza and Patrice were the first to arrive, and Sharon greeted them at the door.

"I brought wine," Patrice stated as they came in.

"Oh, good, you remembered the secret passcode." Sharon gave her a hug and took the two bottles from her. "Thank you! This looks great."

"You're welcome. Can I help you with anything?"

Sharon shook her head. "We're just waiting on the turkey. That's Andy's jurisdiction."

Once everyone had greeted each other, Patrice opened one of the bottles of wine, gathered a few glasses, and started filling them. "Emily? Wine?"

"Yes, please...I'll get that," Emily said after a knock at the door signaled Andrea's arrival.

"I'll go ahead and pour her a glass." Patrice rolled her eyes. "I know the answer to that question without asking."

After dinner, with the kitchen clean and the dishwasher humming, Sharon, Emily, Patrice, and Andrea escaped to the balcony with refilled wine glasses, leaving the men inside, yelling at the football game on TV. Well, Rusty didn't care enough about the game to get excited or angry about it, but he'd take football over "girl talk."

"Ooh, I like the new furniture," Andrea commented as she settled in a lounge chair. "It's kind of bouncy. I could get a man on here and—"

"Ewww, Andrea, I don't want to know," Emily interrupted her.

Andrea pulled Emily down to sit in the chair beside her. "Get over it, honey, you're 34. You're old enough to hear this."

"When Mom or her friends are involved, I will never be old enough to hear that. Unless I've had a lot more wine than I've had tonight, and I'm not in the mood to be hungover tomorrow."

"Oh, good lord," Andrea huffed. She turned her attention to Sharon. "I don't understand why you and Andy postponed your honeymoon."

Sharon shrugged. "Stroh seems to be getting closer, and I'm just not comfortable with being out of the country with him closing in on LA. I know Rusty will have protection, but I would still be too worried to leave him and wouldn't enjoy myself. If something did somehow happen to him while we were gone, I would never forgive myself." She took a long sip of wine. "I didn't really want to push radiation back, either. I'll start the Monday after the wedding, and I just want to get it over with. I'd rather go to Ireland after that's taken care of."

Andrea nodded. "That's true. I don't blame you."

The day after Thanksgiving, Andy spent the day with a man he was sponsoring through AA volunteering at one of the homeless shelters downtown, as they'd done every year for the last five years. Sharon, Emily, Ricky, and Rusty had their own day-after-Thanksgiving tradition of watching Christmas movies, crammed together on the couch and not getting out of their pajamas. Although much of the rest of the country was shopping that day, there wasn't one thing Sharon could think of that she wanted that would keep her from sipping coffee and watching Christmas movies in a sea of pillows, blankets, and her children. Per tradition, Sharon always picked the first movie, which was always White Christmas. "All right, Em, your turn." Emily got up to make her selection and start the movie.

"Ugh, is it Ricky's turn yet?" Rusty complained when Miracle on 34th Street started playing. "This is a kid's movie."

"And Home Alone isn't?" Emily shot back.

"Who cares? It's funny. This is just sappy. And I always pick Home Alone because you guys won't watch Die Hard."

"That's not a Christmas movie!" Emily and Sharon retorted in unison. Just like they did every year.

"It takes place on Christmas Eve!" Ricky chimed in, like he also did every year when this argument inevitably started.

"'Now I have a machine gun, ho, ho, ho,' how is that not a Christmas movie?" Rusty demanded. "And have you even seen it?"

"No, but it's called Die Hard. No Christmas movie is called that," Emily insisted.

"This is a sweet movie, no matter how old you are," Sharon intervened before the argument could escalate. "We'll burn the 'Die Hard is not Christmas movie' bridge when we get to it. Yet again."

When Andy got home that evening, they were halfway through Home Alone. He had never actually seen Sharon the day after Thanksgiving before, for one reason or another, and although he'd heard about the movie-watching tradition, he'd never actually witnessed it. Leaning against the back of the couch, Sharon tilted her head up for a kiss, and Andy happily complied. "Hey. You weren't kidding when you said you guys wouldn't be getting out of your pajamas today."

"Nope. We've barely moved. How was your day?"

"We had a good day. Going to the homeless shelter always puts me in the right mindset for Christmas. And James is doing very well. He'll hit the three-year sobriety mark next month, and he's working on expanding his visitation rights with his kids."

"That's great."

Having been tasked with getting glasses of wine for Sharon and Emily, Ricky interrupted before they could give each other the sappy looks that made him want to vomit. He could always tell when that was about to happen. "Here, Mom."

"Oh! Thanks, honey."

Ricky gave Emily her glass, and an idea occurred to him as he twisted the top off of the Blue Moon he'd gotten for himself. "Hey, Andy, what's your favorite Christmas movie?"

"Is that even a question? Die Hard."

"Told you!" Ricky and Rusty exclaimed triumphantly.

An hour later, Die Hard was playing, and Sharon and Emily were sulking with their arms crossed. "I can't believe I'm watching this like it's a Christmas movie," Sharon moaned.

"This sucks," Emily agreed. The movie was actually pretty good, though, she had to admit. Rusty eyed her several times during the movie and could tell she was enjoying it.

"You liked it!" Rusty accused.

"I did not—I—whatever, it's still not a Christmas movie!" Emily huffed.

Early Saturday afternoon, Sharon adorned the coffee table with appetizers, dressed in her UCLA best for the UCLA/USC game. Andy hadn't attended either school, and Ricky and Rusty shared Sharon's alma mater, so Emily was the lone Trojan, having graduated from USC. Ricky and Rusty were decked out in their blue and gold, too. Ricky was just as obsessed with football as Sharon and Emily, but Rusty didn't really care. He was in his UCLA gear mostly to irritate Emily. There was no way to survive living with Sharon in the Fall without enjoying football a little bit, but a football team's performance would never make or break his day, either.

"We are the mighty Bruins, the best team in the West," Sharon sang as she arranged the food. "We're marching on to victory to conquer all the rest."

"Ugh, Mom, all of that obnoxious blue and gold is disgusting enough," Emily moaned. "I can't handle those insipid fight songs!"

"We are the mighty Bruins, triumphant evermore!" Ricky and Rusty joined Sharon. "You can hear from far and near the mighty Bruin roar! U!" They each clapped three times. C!"

"Nooooo, not the clapping!" Emily lay down on the couch and pressed a pillow against her face. She hadn't been home for this game since she was a senior in college, and she briefly wondered why she'd ever thought that was a bad thing.

"Get used to it, baby girl. You'll be hearing that song a lot today. We're getting the Victory Bell back this year!"

"Mom, I still can't believe you have a child that went to USC," Rusty said.

"I tried, I tried." Sharon sighed dramatically. "I failed, I failed. It still hurts to think about having to write checks every semester to...that other school."

"Just be glad you have at least one child with taste," Emily loftily replied. "And good luck with the Victory Bell. You and Andy weren't even dating the last time UCLA won this game."

"All right, I think it's beer time," Ricky spoke up.

"I want one too, please." Sharon wasn't a huge fan of beer, but she did like a Blue Moon or a Guinness every now and then. "It's been a while since we've housed the enemy on this day."

A few hours later, Sharon and Ricky were sulking, and Emily was gloating. "Fight on for ol' SC, our men fight on to victory. Our Alma Mater dear, looks up to you. Fight on and win for ol' SC, fight on to victory. Fight on!"

"Oh, dear god. Mom, please turn her off!" Ricky complained.

Sharon covered her face with her hands. "I'd love to."

"Oh, come on, I did that one time!" Emily protested. "I lost count of how many times you guys did the same thing...But we Trojans are classy fans."

"Classy?!" Sharon gave Emily an incredulous look. "That's why you texted me after the game last year, asking me whether 14 or 36 was bigger? Because you were being classy?"

"God, Mom, you still remember the score from last year?" Rusty asked. "Please. Get some help."


	11. Chapter 11

Early Sunday morning, Emily woke up freezing. God, if her mom didn't do something about her hormones, or lack thereof, she was going to freeze them all to death. They would be going to mass that morning, and the shower scheduling would be a bit tighter than it had been, so Emily found one of Sharon's sweatshirts in the laundry room and decided to go ahead and take a shower, both to warm up and to be one less person who had to take a shower later. She locked both doors, but in her drowsy state, she forgot that the door to Sharon's room required a little extra effort to get it to actually lock. Sharon woke up when the shower turned on and got up to get a glass of water. Andy woke up a few minutes later, and in his brain's early-morning fog, he temporarily forgot that Emily and Ricky were in town. The bed beside him was empty, and he could hear the shower running, and he wondered why Sharon was taking a shower so early. The best way to find out the answer to such a question was in-person, of course, so he got up and quietly slipped into the bathroom. They'd never actually done this before, as there was no time during the week, and Sharon loved her long showers on weekends, so he'd never interrupted her. They'd seen very little of each other unclothed that week, and he doubted they had to worry about any disturbances so early in the morning. The shower was fogged up, but the fruity smell and the fact that the door to their room hadn't been locked confirmed that it was Sharon in the shower and not Rusty. He took his pajamas off, slowly opened the shower door, and focused on the wet brown hair in front of him. "Why are you in here so early? Having dirty thoughts about—"

"Morning, Andy," Emily murmured, still a little foggy, herself. "Will you hand me the—Andy!" Emily screamed and whipped around, her eyes wide. She turned a little too quickly and ended up slipping and falling down. "What the hell are you doing?!" She crossed her legs and folded her arms over herself, trying to cover herself up.

It took a few moments to register that it was Emily in front of him and not Sharon, and when it finally clicked, Andy crouched down, like that would make him invisible or something, and backed away from the shower as quickly as he could. Unfortunately, he backed right into the bathroom counter, where he was ass-level with the corner, and knocked over a couple of lotion and perfume bottles.

Hearing the crashes and screams from the bathroom, Sharon ran through her room and into the bathroom, unable to imagine what the hell just happened. The last thing she expected to see was Emily on the floor of the shower and Andy with a hand on his bare ass, looking befuddled. "What on earth is going on?!" Andy was still speechless, so she grabbed a towel from the hook on the back of the bathroom door and gave it to him, which he clearly hadn't yet thought to do.

"So, um, that wasn't you in the shower, huh?" Andy finally managed to say as he turned his back to the shower. "I'm facing the door, Emily, don't worry."

Realization hit Sharon, and it took every ounce of willpower she had not to laugh. "No. It wasn't." She took a deep breath to collect herself before turning the water off and kneeling as closely to Emily as she could without getting her pajamas wet. "Did you fall? Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine," Emily muttered. "Need a towel."

"Oh! Sorry." Sharon opened the cabinet under the sink, but there were no more clean ones. "Hold on a second, there are some clean towels in the dryer. Be right back." She unlocked the door to the hall and hurried to the laundry room. When she got back to the bathroom, the door to Rusty's room was opening.

"Who is being loud?!" Rusty whined as he opened his bedroom door.

"It's nothing, honey," Sharon answered as she gave the towel to Emily. "Go back to bed." She knew there was no way Emily would be keeping this a secret, but she'd rather as few people as possible get a visual image. Rusty couldn't be deterred, though, and he stepped into the bathroom, where Emily was on the floor of the shower, still too shocked to move, and Andy was still facing away from the shower with a towel around his waist.

"What the hell just happened?!"

"Nothing, Rusty. Just a little misunderstanding. Go back to bed before we wake Ricky u—"

"Too late." Ricky appeared in Rusty's doorway, yawning as he joined everyone in the bathroom, taking in the scene before him. "What the hell?"

Sharon rolled her eyes. "That seems to be the question of the morning." She was on the verge of laughing, so she stepped back and let Emily and Andy explain. As she did so, a memory from when Ricky was a toddler came to mind. He normally liked baths, but they'd been out late, and he was tired and whining to get out as she bathed him before bed.

A/N: This was inspired by a recent conversation with my 2 year old nephew :)

"Hold on, honey, let me get your hiney really quick, and then I'll get you out."

Ricky looked at Sharon, and she could see the wheels turning in his little head. Something seemed to click. "Mommy has hiney, too?" He asked.

Sharon choked back a laugh. "Yes, baby, Mommy has a hiney."

"Daddy has hiney?"

"Yes, honey." Once they'd established that Emily, all four grandparents, and Mrs. Amy at daycare also had hineys, she finished bathing him and put him to bed. She'd wanted to die the following Monday when she took him to daycare, and the first thing he said was, "Mrs. Amy, you have a hiney!"

Sharon snapped out of her daze when Emily began to speak. "Turns out our soon-to-be stepfather thought our mother was in the shower," Emily explained with disgust.

Ricky and Rusty looked between Emily and Andy wordlessly, as it hadn't quite processed at the early hour. "Oh, my god! Did you have to tell me that?! I have to live here!" Rusty complained. "Andy, what the hell's the matter with you?!"

"I didn't see anything, if that counts for anything," Andy insisted.

Sharon's shoulders were shaking with silent laughter, and everyone's attention turned to her when a snort sounded from her direction. "This isn't funny, Mom!" All three of her children bellowed in unison.

Later that morning, Ricky headed for the shower. "I'm getting in the shower, Andy," he announced as he left the living room. "It's not Mom in the shower. It's not Emily in the shower—"

"That's enough, Richard," Sharon warned.

"Oh, come on, we've all been through some trauma this morning. It's only fair we get to have some fun with it."

By the time they got home from mass early that afternoon, they'd barely said ten words to one another. Ricky was leaving that afternoon, so Sharon cooked lunch, wanting him to have one more good meal before he left, despite the fact that he'd be back for the wedding in four days. Halfway through lunch, no one had said a word, and Andy couldn't take it anymore. "We've never actually done that before, if that makes anyone feel better."

"Stop, Andy, we can't properly suppress this if we talk about it," Emily moaned.

"So, Andy, what exactly are your intentions with our mother?" Ricky wasn't that freaked out anymore, and, like Sharon, he was starting to find the situation a little amusing.

"Funny, kid," Andy mumbled.

MCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMC

The following Saturday, Sharon, Emily, her mom, her sister and sister-in-law, her three nieces, one niece's three-year-old daughter, Patrice, Andrea, and Amy were gathered in Sharon's and Andy's hotel suite. The hotel was near the church, and the reception was being held in one of the ballrooms downstairs, so she'd reserved it for the whole weekend so they'd be able to get ready and hang out there during the day before they had to be at the church to take pictures. The male counterparts were in Provenza's and Buzz's adjoining rooms. Kate and Beth, Sharon's sister and sister-in-law, had arranged for brunch to be delivered to the hotel, and they were all eating, drinking mimosas, and talking until they had to leave. Sharon's hair and makeup were done, and she wasn't putting her dress on until she got to the church, so she was able to relax for a while. She was talking to Kate and Andrea when Claire, her niece's daughter, came up to her and climbed in her lap. Sharon hadn't seen her since her family's usual summer trip to Park City, and she'd been shy around her the night before and that morning. Sharon hoped the little girl was finally warming up to her again. "Well, hey, precious," Sharon said as she settled her in her lap.

"Hey, Aunt S'aron. Your dress looks like a princess dress," Claire said, pointing to the long white dress hanging in the corner of the room.

Sharon kissed the top of her head. "Aww, thank you, sweetheart."

"I have some cake?" Claire asked sweetly. A small cake had been delivered with brunch.

"I think I can arrange that for my favorite flower girl." Sharon stood up with Claire in her arms and cut a small piece of cake for her, then sat back down with her and helped her eat it.

Lauren, Sharon's niece, was talking to Emily and Beth when she noticed Sharon and Claire with the cake. "Claire! I said you couldn't have cake because you didn't eat a good breakfast!" She said with exasperation.

Claire looked up at Sharon with a look that meant she knew she was caught but wasn't one damn bit sorry about it. Sharon knew that look quite well. "I just got played, didn't I?"

"Get used to it," Beth spoke up. "All you do as a grandparent is get played."

"I'm sorry, Lauren, I didn't know you'd told her no," Sharon apologized.

Lauren rolled her eyes. "Don't worry, Aunt Sharon. Your brother is a lot worse. And Claire knows better than to ask another adult when she's already been told 'no,' don't you," she said, giving Claire a warning look. Claire shrugged and looked back at her, wide-eyed and the picture of innocence. Sharon chuckled. It didn't surprise her one bit that William was a pushover with his granddaughter.

Ricky and Rusty came in a little while later. "Hey, Mom, we walked down to the church to check it out. The daisies in your bouquet are beautiful," Rusty said. All of the flowers had been delivered to the church that morning.

A look of panic crossed Sharon's face. "Daisies?! There aren't supposed to be daisies!" She practically shoved Claire into Beth's lap and frantically dug through her purse for her phone. Rusty couldn't keep a straight face, and he burst into laughter before Sharon could even find her phone. "Russell Thomas Beck, that was not funny."

Emily swatted his arm. "Seriously, Mom, you should've just gotten a puppy instead of another kid."

"Nah, puppies pee on the floor. I was fairly certain Rusty wouldn't do that," Sharon deadpanned.

"So did Ricky, but you kept him," Emily pointed out.

"Yeah, well, there were laws about that...I'm kidding, honey," Sharon said, squeezing Ricky's arm.

Later that evening, after a whirlwind of pictures and the wedding ceremony, Sharon felt a rush of relief as they were announced by the band and she entered the reception on Andy's arm. Marrying Andy with her sister and sister-in-law, children, and closest friends at her side had been even better than she'd thought. The crowd was much smaller than her first wedding, and aside from some LAPD employees outside of Major Crimes that she and/or Andy had felt obligated to invite, the guest list had included Sharon's college friends who were still around LA that she still kept in touch with, Tao's family, some of Sharon's old neighbors, church friends, some of Andy's outside-of-work friends, and others that they were close to. The piano chords of Count on Me began to play, and she relaxed as he held her and guided her around the dance floor. (A/N: More about the song and why they chose it is in chapter 10, in case you missed it. :))

A little while later, Sharon's dad came up to her and took her hand. "I made a little request." Sharon placed her glass of wine on the table and followed her dad to the dance floor, where they were soon joined by Andy and her mom, Ricky and Beth, Emily and her brother-in-law, James, Rusty and Kate, Lauren and William, Patrice and Emily's boyfriend, Emmett, and some other guests. Sharon smiled as she watched Patrice and Emmett. She was grilling the poor man, no doubt.

You are the sunshine of my life  
That's why I'll always be around,  
You are the apple of my eye,  
Forever you'll stay in my heart

I feel like this is the beginning,  
Though I've loved you for a million years,  
And if I thought our love was ending,  
I'd find myself drowning in my own tears, whoa oh oh ah

You are the sunshine of my life,  
That's why I'll always stay around, mmm mmm yeah yeah  
You are the apple of my eye,  
Forever you'll stay in my heart

This had been Sharon's first dance with her dad at her and Jack's reception, but it had been a special song for them since she was a teenager, so it wouldn't have seemed right not to dance to it at some point. They'd danced to it plenty of other times at other weddings and parties, and her first wedding just blended in. She'd skipped the "official" father-daughter dance part for this reception, but she was glad to be in her dad's arms now.

The following morning, Sharon woke up and lay in bed, mentally recounting the events of the day before. She smiled to herself as she remembered Provenza being difficult while they were taking pictures, and Rusty's comment that he had more experience with weddings than anyone else, so why was he causing more trouble than the three-year-old? Her thoughts next turned to dancing with Andy, her dad, James, William, Ricky, Rusty, and Emmett, and also of Rusty dancing with Claire standing on his feet. It had been a fun night with the people she loved the most, give or take a few. She smiled when she felt her hair being pushed away from the back of her neck and a soft kiss. She and Andy had been too tired the night before to do much more than fall into bed and go to sleep, but this morning was an entirely different story. She turned to face him, and they wordlessly began to officially consummate their marriage.

Later that morning, when they were showered and dressed, they met the rest of Sharon's family downstairs for breakfast. They probably would've ordinarily considered the wedding as a good excuse to skip mass and go back to the condo until everyone trickled back to the airport for their respective fights, but with radiation starting the next day, Sharon couldn't think of a better start than to go to mass with her family to get her in the right frame of mind. As she sat between her dad and Emily, absently rubbing Emily's back, surrounded by Andy and the rest of her family, she was glad everyone had agreed to come. The familiar music, message of hope and faith, and the presence of her family was just what she needed to start her treatment off on a good note.


	12. Chapter 12

By Sunday evening, all of the out-of-town family members were gone except Emily. She was flying out on Monday morning. With Andy watching football in the living room and Rusty studying in his room, Emily and Sharon were lying on her bed, looking through their phones at pictures they'd taken themselves at the wedding and at those various family members had sent them. "Aww, look at Claire on Ricky's shoulders!" Emily passed her phone to Sharon. "She had a ball last night."

"She sure did." Sharon gazed at the picture for a few moments, then flipped through the rest of the pictures Lauren had sent Emily. "She fell hard, too," she commented when she reached a picture of Claire asleep in William's lap. She passed the phone back to Emily and continued looking through her own phone at the pictures Andrea sent. She laughed when she got to a picture of Patrice dancing with Emmett. "I'd love to know what they're talking about."

Emily took Sharon's phone from her and looked at it. "Well, if he can survive Patrice, then I think he'll stay around for a while."

"You're not kidding. She looks a little frightening, there." Sharon retrieved a nightgown from a stack of clean laundry and lifted her sweater over her head while Emily continued looking through the pictures. She'd be able to hear if Rusty left his room, so she didn't bother to close the door. As she removed her bra, she could feel Emily's eyes on her. "It's not as bad as it looks," Sharon assured her as she removed her jeans and put her nightgown on. The bruising had actually gone down a lot, but she still didn't look back to normal. Emily nodded, but tears had filled her eyes, and she couldn't speak for fear of beginning to cry. Sharon looked at her with concern, as she was quite familiar with her daughter's 'I'm trying not to cry' face by now. "Em?"

Sharon sat on her bed and pulled Emily into her arms, and that was all it took for the tears to spill over. She wasn't surprised. She'd be emotional herself right now without the lingering excitement from the wedding and the distraction of pictures and Emily still being home. They both knew she would most likely be fine, but with radiation starting the next day, the situation felt more real than it had before. Her first instinct was to assure Emily of her favorable odds, but that would probably just annoy her or make her feel like her emotions weren't justified. She didn't need assurance, she just needed release. Sharon silently held her and rubbed her back as she cried, and tears were soon filling her own eyes.

Emily had no idea how much time had passed by the time she calmed down. "Sorry, Mom. I know you're going to be okay. I just..."

"I know, baby. The closer it gets, the more real it seems." Sharon gently wiped Emily's tears away and kissed the top of her head.

They sat in comfortable silence for a few more minutes until Emily spoke up again. "Do you ever regret marrying Dad?"

"Absolutely not," Sharon answered without hesitation. "I wouldn't have you guys, Rusty, or Andy otherwise. I probably would've gone to law school, may or may not have gotten married to someone else, and I might be happy, but I can't imagine being happier than I am right now. Your dad and I had some good times, too, as hard as it may be to remember them sometimes."

The next morning was more calm than usual. Having just wrapped up a case, Sharon opted to do her paperwork at home until her radiation appointment, Andy wasn't in a huge hurry to get to work, and Rusty was taking Emily to the airport before going to campus to study for the day. Sharon hugged Emily and kissed her cheek. "I love you, honey. Text me when you land, and I'll call you tonight, okay?"

"I will. Love you, Mom."

"Love you." As Sharon kissed Rusty's cheek, a thought occurred to her. "Have you made an appointment for your physical?" She'd been on him for the last couple of weeks, knowing he was due for one, and she had a feeling he still hadn't done it.

Rusty bit his bottom lip as a guilty expression came over his face. "Uh, come on, Emily, we better go! Love you, Mom." He made a quick exit, and Emily quickly hugged Andy before picking up her bags and following Rusty out the door.

Sharon rolled her eyes. "He is going to make me crazy! I'm not doing it for him this time. I'm..." Her voice trailed off as she picked up her phone and started scrolling through her contacts.

"You're calling his doctor's office right now," Andy said with a smirk.

"Ugh, he can be a grownup next year." Sharon quickly made the appointment and hung up. "I'm going to threaten to tell him what happens at my appointment every year if he won't make his own." And hope the threat was enough, because she'd never actually do that.

"Yeah, he has about twenty or thirty years before his appointments get really embarrassing," Andy said.

"Oh, please," Sharon scoffed. "Your doctor grabs you for a few seconds and tells you to turn your head and cough. My doctor's seen me from angles you've never even thought about."

Andy laughed. "Yeah. Because that's what happens during a prostate exam. Challenge accepted on the 'angle' thing, by the way. And at what point during your exam does your doctor have his finger in your ass?"

Sharon's eyes widened. "What?! You can't be serious."

"Oh, yeah. Women may have it harder in just about every other area of life, but we win with the yearly doctor's appointments. After the age of forty or fifty, anyway. Before that, they're nothing."

"Of course they are."

Andy gathered his things and kissed Sharon. "Are you sure you don't want me to come take you to your appointment?"

Sharon nodded. "I'll be fine to drive home, and..." She had a feeling she'd want to have that time to herself, but she didn't know how to say that to Andy without him feeling like she was pushing him away.

"Yeah, but...What?" Andy asked when Sharon started laughing.

"The 'prostate' talk reminded me of one morning when Ricky was a teenager. I went in his room to make sure he was awake for school, and...Well, let's just say he was being a fifteen-year-old boy." (A/N: I've tasked CommanderRaydorSass with expanding upon that scene, because I know she'll do a much better (and funnier) job with it than I could, so it should appear in a chapter of Then and Now at some point :))

Andy cackled. "No way! How have I never heard that before?!"

Sharon shrugged. "It's not the most pleasant memory, I guess. I'd forgotten about it until just now."

Andy nodded. "Well, let me know if you change your mind and want me to come take you. I love you."

"Love you." Sharon kissed him one more time before he left. Still in her pajamas, she poured a second coffee and settled at her desk to work until she had to shower and get ready to go.

Sharon arrived at the Radiation Oncology Department at Cedars with a sense of dread later that afternoon. She felt a little better by the time she was in a gown and the radiation therapist came in to greet her. She'd had an appointment the week before where she'd had a simulation of what would happen and was reassured of her favorable outlook. The therapist helped her get as comfortable as she could get lying down with her left arm over her head and placed a couple of soft pads behind her to rest her arm against. "All right, Mrs. Raydor, I'm going to put the immobilizing device over you to help you remain still. I can see you through the window, and I can hear you through an intercom, so speak up if you need anything." Sharon nodded and thanked her, and by the time the machine was whirring, she was feeling a little better about everything again. The main thing on her mind at that point was actually her last name, after hearing it from the therapist. That topic was still "under discussion." Especially with retirement being on her mind, she definitely planned to remain "Raydor" at work. By the time people in other departments figured out who "Commander Flynn" was, she'd probably be retired and it wouldn't matter. She was okay with being known as "Sharon Flynn" socially without that being her name on paper, but Andy didn't feel the same way. She didn't have any attachment to "Raydor" except for the fact that it had been her last name for over 35 years and that legally getting your name changed and changing records everywhere else after so long would be a royal pain in the ass. Given the events of the last few weeks, that "discussion" had come to a screeching halt, but it would eventually resurface at some point. It wasn't that she absolutely didn't want to change her name, there were just pros and cons to it that she was still thinking through. After being so lost in her thoughts, the treatment seemed to take no time, and she was soon getting dressed again and heading home.

When Sharon got home, Andy was cooking dinner. "Hmm, thanks, honey. That smells wonderful." Andy kissed her a little longer and more slowly than he usually would have on a day where they got home at different times, but made himself pull away after a few moments. All she'd asked of him was to treat her normally, which should be easy enough. He understood, as he would want the same thing, but it still felt wrong to act like it was just another day. She probably wouldn't have any side effects for a few days, and even then they wouldn't be bad. He was definitely happy about that, but it left him with little to do for her.

"You okay?" Andy couldn't help asking. He was relieved when she didn't look annoyed.

"Yes, it wasn't so bad." Sharon knew how he felt, wanting to treat her normally without seeming insensitive, as she'd been in that position with him not so long ago. He pulled her into a hug, and she rested against him for a few moments before going to call Emily and Ricky. She answered a few texts first, as her phone had been dinging like crazy from her siblings and close friends while she drove home. It was all the good kind of annoying, though. It was the kind that meant she had a lot of people in her life who cared for her.


	13. Chapter 13

Still the Monday evening after the wedding

After dinner Monday night, Rusty went straight back to his room after not eating much. Sharon didn't know if her treatment starting that day or Gus's appearance at the wedding, where Rusty had ignored him, was bothering him. She gave him a few minutes to himself before going to check in with him. He was staring at his computer and didn't look up when she knocked softly on his door frame, so she walked into the room and sat beside him on his bed. Instagram was open on his computer, and she didn't recognize the man in the picture, but she did recognize the name. "You're following Gus's boss on Instagram?"

Rusty jumped. "No. He has an account for his restaurant and one for himself. The restaurant one has always been public, but it was always just food and pictures of customers and stuff. His personal one was private until sometime after Gus moved to Berkeley. Probably because he knew I'd be looking, and there were pictures he wanted me to see. I didn't check his profile again until after that night I saw them kissing, and he hasn't posted anything in a few days, but..."

Sharon nodded. Her heart was breaking for him. It was bad enough for this Aiden kid to go after Gus when he knew he was dating someone, but to change the privacy of his profile just so Rusty could see those pictures? Asshole. Of course, it was Rusty's decision to try to find them, but she couldn't really blame him. She'd probably do the same thing. Once again, she was thankful that social media hadn't existed when she was Rusty's age.

"Oh, well, that's enough of that." Rusty closed his computer and placed it on his desk. "Mom? Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, honey." Rusty hesitated before speaking. "What is it?" Sharon prompted.

"Um..." Rusty toyed with the edge of his comforter before finally speaking up. "How do you, um, pray?"

That wasn't what Sharon was expecting. "Well, I pray with my rosary most nights," she said slowly, not sure what he was getting at.

"No, I mean, like, when you pray for someone, what do you do? Or say, I guess?"

Sharon shrugged. "Nothing very specific, usually. Before I fall asleep at night, or when I'm in the car or otherwise have a few minutes to myself, I often think about the people I love the most and what each of you have going on in your lives, and that often turns into a prayer of some sort. I do the same for others I'm not that close to but who are going through something significant, like being hurt or really sick...Rusty. You don't need to pray for me to get better," she said, finally understanding where he was coming from.

"Then what's the point of praying?"

"Honey, you can't pray for a specific outcome and expect it to happen. God doesn't decide who lives and dies because of who's praying the most. Personally, I pray because it gives me a sense of peace and keeps me focused on what's important to me. And, in a way, I feel like praying for other people puts out some kind of positive energy or something. I don't really know. I can't explain it."

Rusty nodded. He'd gone to the Catholic school and went to mass with Sharon every now and then, but he'd just gone through the motions and had never really gotten into the spiritual side of it. He wasn't sure what he believed, but if praying would help Sharon at all, then he'd learn how to do it. "Are you sure? I mean, if I need to learn how to pray, I'll do it. If it would help even a little bit."

Sharon pulled him into her arms. "It means a lot to me that you asked. And my parents are praying enough for a small country of Catholics, I can assure you. I think I'm covered."

Two days later, the murder of a high-profile attorney had them turning their attention to the owner of a restaurant known for its young, scantily-clad, female servers. On Wednesday morning, Sharon stayed home for a while, as Provenza had insisted that she wouldn't be needed until later in the day. Instead of arguing with him, she decided to try to make a dent in the thank-you notes for their wedding gifts. With evidence of Stroh getting closer to LA, she'd gotten in the habit of peeking in Rusty's room in the mornings, despite his security detail. He was fine, but she paused when she noticed the pile of things beside his bed that hadn't been there on Monday. Rusty started to stir slightly, so she quickly tiptoed out of his room before she could get a good look at it.

An hour and a small stack of thank-you notes later, Rusty came into the kitchen. Sharon looked up and capped her pen. "Morning, honey."

"Morning." Rusty stood there like he wanted to say something, but he remained quiet.

"What's all that stuff beside your bed?" Sharon finally asked.

"Oh. Um, Gus gave back some of my stuff."

Sharon raised her eyebrows. "He came by?"

"He's back in L.A., waiting tables." Rusty couldn't help but sound a little smug. "He broke up with Aiden, and he fired him and won't give him a good recommendation to apply for other jobs, so he has to start all over."

Sharon's eyes widened. "He can't do that."

"What else is he supposed to do? It's hard to find work in a kitchen if you don't have experience—"

"No, I mean, Aiden can't do that. If that's the only reason he fired him, then it's illegal."

Rusty shrugged. "Yeah, but Gus said that restaurants have, like, different rules or something."

"It doesn't matter. Gus is still protected by the law...So, what's going on with you guys now?"

"Nothing. We hadn't talked about, uh, it before yesterday, but it's not even like he got caught in the heat of the moment and did it one time. They slept together several times, and that's a dealbreaker. I could've forgiven just about anything else, but..."

Sharon stood up and kissed his cheek. "I'm sorry. I have to get to work, and we may not be here for dinner tonight."

"That's fine. I'll be studying late, so I'll probably just get something to eat on campus."

Later that afternoon, Sharon left to go to her radiation appointment after planning to meet everyone else, minus Andy, at Tackles later. Andy wasn't taking his exclusion well, either. "Come on, Sharon, you guys need me," he protested as he walked her to her car.

"I'll be in a different room for most of the time, and you can't be in the field without me," she explained. "I saw the way your blood pressure went up when you saw that calendar." She bit her lip, trying not to smile. "I just don't think it would be good for your health."

"But you'll still be there!"

Sharon tilted her head. "In all of my years as a commanding officer, I can honestly say I've never had someone complain about going home early."

"Okay, okay," Andy huffed. "But I reacted that way to the calendar because of how disgusting that guy made those girls—uh, women—dress. It is so tasteless."

Sharon laughed. "Oh, please! The only person who came closer to drooling on that calendar than you did was Wes! I had to take it away from him." The looks and the comments didn't really bother her, though. She trusted Andy to remain faithful to her, so he could look all he wanted. She'd just give him a hard time and watch him dig his hole deeper and deeper and then grovel to try to get out for her own entertainment.

"Ugh, Tao unnecessarily shoved Badge down our throats today, and now I'm being sent home because of a bullshit rule. This isn't fair."

Sharon kissed him as they reached her car. "I'll see you tonight. If you're good, maybe I'll roll up some shorts and a t-shirt and cook breakfast in the morning."

"Hmm, police work keeps you young and hot." (A/N: The real reason for his absence from Tackles was probably a lot more mundane, but this was more fun. I think I remember wondering where he was during that part, anyway, sorry if I got it wrong and he was there :))

When Sharon got home that night, Andy was watching TV on the couch. "Hey, how did it go?"

Sharon poured a glass of wine and sat beside him. "We found the ex-husband, but, just like I thought, I don't believe it was him. He's a first-class asshole, but he doesn't have the capacity to kill."

Andy gave her a concerned look. "Was he rude to you? Or did he hit on you or something?"

Sharon shook her head. "No, I meant that he was an asshole of a husband. He cheated on Bonnie, treated her like crap, and took her for granted."

"Sounds a little familiar, huh?" Andy asked softly.

"Yeah." Especially with the our sex life got better after we got divorced statement, or separated, in her case, but she wasn't about to tell Andy that. Jack wasn't around much, but when he was, the sex only seemed to get better each time. "The man even looked like Jack. It was crazy."

Sharon pulled her phone out of her purse and saw a missed face-time from Emily, so she went to their room to call her back. She sat on the bed in front of her computer and absently toyed with a pair of Andy's suspenders that were on his nightstand as they chatted. "Suspenders seem so outdated," Emily commented a few minutes later. "Why does Andy still wear them? They can't have much of a purpose."

Sharon gave her a disbelieving look. "Who cares, have you seen him in them?!"

Emily looked disgusted. "Ewww, you mean, have I checked out my stepdad? No, I can honestly say I haven't."

"Okay, well, just try to picture Emmett in them. With what he wore to the wedding. That would be perfect."

Emily made a show of closing her eyes for a few moments before shaking her head and looking back at Sharon. "Nope, still not doing anything for me."

Sharon heaved a dramatic sigh. "Oh, Em. I have failed you as a mother."

A couple of weeks later, Sharon was lying on the couch one Thursday evening. As the weeks went by, the side effects of radiation were hitting her, and she was exhausted. There was an untouched small glass of wine on the table beside her. She'd poured it more for the relaxation of hearing it hit the glass than for actually wanting it, but she'd probably eventually sip most of it before she went to bed. They'd finally wrapped the Bonnie Pearl case, she could finally be still long enough to enjoy the twinkling Christmas tree lights, and there wasn't a damn thing she had to do until the next morning. She groaned when her phone went off and saw that it was Morales. This wasn't likely to be a personal call, but what could he want? The case was over. "Dr. Morales, what can I do for you?"

"I'm sorry to bother you, Commander, but I need you in the morgue."

"For what? We got a confession today."

"It's not about the case, but it's important. Please, just come."

"All right. Be there soon." Andy gave her a questioning look as she hung up. "Morales needs me in the morgue. I can't imagine why, but I'm going to go see what he wants."

"I'll go with you."

"Okay...I'd actually feel better if Rusty came with us, too." Sharon slipped her shoes on and walked down the hall. They were all a little spooked by a stoplight photo Andrea had found that resembled Stroh and a couple of reported possible sightings of him around L.A. Sharon had kept Rusty by her side as much as possible for the last couple of days, even though he had a security detail. She knocked on Rusty's open door. "Hey, you busy?"

"Not really. I was just finishing a practice LSAT." Rusty had graduated from UCLA the weekend before, and he was taking a couple of months off to get his law school application together and study for the LSAT before working for Andrea again until he started school.

"Okay. Morales needs me at the morgue, and Andy's coming, too. Want to come with us?"

"Yeah..." Rusty looked down at his sweatpants. "Can I change really quick first?"

"Sure. We're not in a hurry. I can't even imagine what he wants, but he wouldn't tell me." When they arrived at the morgue, Fritz and Brenda were arriving at the same time. "Hi, you guys. Do you know what this is about?" Sharon asked.

Fritz shook his head. "Just that it's 'important.'"

Sharon nodded. "Ah, nice. Morales was as thorough with you as he was with me." The odd situation had Sharon on guard, but as they entered the morgue and saw Morales through the window, standing over a body, she relaxed. Oddly enough, that sight was quite normal. Stroh's possible return had her more paranoid than ever these days. She'd briefly imagined Morales talking to her on the phone with Stroh standing over him with a gun, but Morales hadn't specified for her to come alone or asked if anyone was coming with her. This wasn't Stroh's style, anyway. If he intended to go after Rusty, he'd probably mess with him a little bit first with subtle signs of his presence. Sharon knocked on the window to signal their arrival.

Morales looked up and came out into the hall. "Hi, you guys, thanks for coming down here."

"What is going on?" Sharon asked.

A/N: The remainder of the chapter is intended to be a parody in nature. Parts of it are intentionally illogical. I didn't plan to address Stroh at all in this story before the crappy ending we got on the show. I was just going to give it a mere mention in a later chapter, but JD's brought out my snarky side. :)

"I didn't want to tell you over the phone in case I'm wrong about this, but I'm fairly certain that Phillip Stroh is dead."

Sharon squeezed Andy's hand that she was already holding and grabbed Rusty's hand with her other one, but she didn't want to get too excited. "When will you know for sure?" She looked through the glass at the body he'd been with, but it was mostly covered. "Is that..."

"I don't know. That's where you guys come in. He had an ID on him, but it had a different name, as shocking as that may be. I've already taken his fingerprints, but I won't be able to get a copy of Stroh's official prints until tomorrow. I've only seen a picture of the guy, and that was a long time ago, but I thought you guys could give me a better idea of whether this was him. And I couldn't wait until tomorrow for this nightmare to be over for you guys, if it really is him."

After a few seconds of stunned silence, there was a stampede to get into the room with the body. "Oh, yeah, that's definitely him," Brenda reported a few moments later. "I'd know that arrogant sneer anywhere. Rest in hell, you fucking bastard." For a brief moment, Sharon thought Brenda was going to spit on him. She peered more closely at the body. Brenda was right. The hair was a little thinner, and the face was a little more worn, but it was unquestionably Stroh. Tears filled Sharon's eyes as overwhelming relief surged through her. Rusty was in her arms by this point, and she couldn't remember when or how that happened. Andy's arms were around both of them, and his lips were pressed to the side of her head.

"I'll still get Stroh's fingerprints from the Bar Association in the morning for confirmation, but I've never been so sure of a body identification in my life," Morales commented.

"He has a criminal record, you know," Sharon pointed out. "The LAPD will have them on file...We might know someone who could get those for you. The Bar's main office is in San Francisco, anyway, so it may take longer to get them."

"But, the painfully gorgeous guy I met last week works in the L.A. office, so since you guys are so sure this is Stroh, I'm going to take the opportunity to work my magic...No offense, cupcake, but he can print me any time."

Sharon rolled her eyes. "None taken...How did this happen, anyway?"

"That's the question of the evening. Someone just found him dead. There's some old scarring on his body, but nothing fresh. He wasn't assaulted in any way. There's no sign of any kind of overdose, but I'm going to run a tox screen, anyway, because this just doesn't make sense. I've already cut him open, and his heart tissue looked a little off, but it wasn't heart failure. It's like he was perfectly healthy and just died for no reason, out of nowhere. But who cares? You guys are finally rid of him."

Brenda pried herself out of Fritz's arms and approached the body. "May I?"

Morales shrugged. "Do what you gotta do, sister."

Brenda pulled the sheet down and examined the chest. The scars from where she'd shot him over five years ago were still there. "God, I wish I'd just gotten the job done that night," she muttered. "It would've been self-defense, no question."

"Hmm, not me," Rusty murmured, still pressed against Sharon. "I'd still be working Sunset."

Sharon's grip around him tightened. "Well, we can honestly say he was good for one thing."


	14. Chapter 14

The Friday before Christmas, Sharon, Andy, Ricky, and Rusty flew to Park City to spend Christmas with Sharon's family. Ricky had driven down on Thursday evening to avoid so much flying. In the last few years, Sharon had gotten in the habit of not going until Christmas Day or the day after because of Major Crimes's tendency to catch a case right before Christmas, but her radiation schedule didn't allow for that this time. They were luckily case-free, though, so they were able to keep their Christmas plans. Sharon was going to miss being able to hang around for a few days after Christmas and not have to rush back, but they still didn't have to go back until early Tuesday afternoon. Sharon had been able to schedule her radiation appointment for Friday morning, delay Tuesday's appointment until later that evening, and didn't have to go on Christmas Day, so they would still have a nice long weekend.

Sharon shifted in her seat at their gate, trying to get comfortable as they waited to board. After having a radiation treatment on Thursday afternoon and again on Friday morning, she was more tired and her skin was a little more irritated than usual. Andy wrapped his arm around her and helped her lie against him. "Not exactly luxury seating, huh?"

Ricky was catching up on his Words With Friends correspondence on his phone, and Rusty watched as he started to make a move against Sharon. "Put your other 's' at the end of that. You don't want to just play 'test' against Mom."

Ricky studied his screen. "I need to get rid of all of these consonants, but I don't want to use both 's'es yet, either."

"You'd rather use both of them now than have Mom turn that into 'testicles,' I promise. She'll do it, and it's just as disturbing as it sounds."

Ricky wrinkled his nose. "Gross! Mom! God."

"Wait, Mom doesn't play gross words against you? That's not fair!"

"Haven't been able to yet," Sharon murmured from Andy's shoulder. "And that's a word! I'm not breaking any rules." She played for points, but if there was an opportunity to get a lot of them and freak one of her children out at the same time, she took it. Like they were any better. The games between Ricky and Rusty were more about who could play some variation of 'fart' more times rather than actual points.

"I need a beer," Ricky grumbled. He'd been trying to avoid the overly-inflated alcohol costs of the airport bars, but his resolve was wearing down. He dug his wallet out of his pocket and left in search of a watering hole. He returned several minutes later with a bottle of Blue Moon for himself and a small plastic cup of white wine for Sharon.

"Hmm, thanks, honey." Sharon accepted the cup and took a sip. She was tired, but she was still wound up from the long week and fighting through the holiday crowd of the airport, and she knew it would help her relax a little.

They boarded a little while later, and Sharon's eyes were closing before the plane left the gate. Next thing she knew, Andy was gently patting her cheek. "Hey, Sharon, wake up. We're about to land, and I didn't want it to scare the hell out of you when we hit the ground."

"It's 34 damn degrees outside," Rusty muttered from the other side of her. "That'll wake you up."

Sharon yawned and pried her head away from Andy's shoulder. She just wanted to take her bra off and go to bed. Once they were off the plane and had their luggage, she turned her phone back on, texted her sister that they had landed and would be there soon, and dug her winter coat out of her carry-on while Andy picked up the keys for their rental car. "I'll go get the car from the rental lot and pick you guys up at the door," he offered when he came back. Sharon could drive from the airport to her parents' timeshare in her sleep by now and usually drove when they came to Park City, but driving in the mountains was the last thing she wanted to do. She was grateful Andy had recognized that and taken charge instead of her having to admit that she didn't feel like driving.

It was getting dark by the time they got on the road, and driving at night always reminded Sharon of when she'd started entertaining the idea of her and Andy dating. Any time they went to dinner after work or a movie or something after Rusty had pointed out that they were "dating," she was more aware of their interactions than she had been before. She didn't really want to date anyone. Not long-term, anyway, and a fling with a coworker was never a good idea. That was what she had loved about doing things with Andy as "non dates." She didn't feel the need to try to impress him or anything, and they could just talk like friends. When one of them had a wedding or some event they had to go to that would be easier with a "date," they had each other for that without actually "dating." She was actually relieved one morning when Andy came to work, unshaven and in the same clothes as the day before. He'd obviously been with someone who was probably a couple of decades younger than her the night before, meaning he wasn't any more interested in dating than she was. Rusty was just jumping to conclusions. Provenza shattered that image a couple of days later when she overheard him telling Tao that Andy had been up all night with a guy he sponsored through AA who was on the verge of falling off the wagon, not with another woman like she'd assumed.

That night, they had gone to dinner and he'd driven her home, with her car being in the shop. She'd felt a little awkward since they'd all gone to The Nutcracker, and Andy was picking up on that, so he didn't push her when she grew quiet as he drove her home. Instead, he turned the radio up to break the silence. A couple of songs and a few commercials later, Sharon's mind was in overdrive.

When the road gets dark  
And you can no longer see  
Just let my love throw a spark  
And have a little faith in me

And when the tears you cry  
Are all you can believe  
Just give these loving arms a try  
And have a little faith in me, have a little faith in me.

When your secret heart  
Cannot speak so easily  
Come here darlin'  
From a whisper start  
To have a little faith in me

And when your back's against the wall  
Just turn around and you will see  
I will catch, I will catch your fall baby  
Just have a little faith in me

Have a little faith in me,  
Have a little faith in me.

Back in the present, Sharon thought about that night as they drove. When he dropped her off, he'd said something along the lines of there being no pressure from him and that the ball was in her court. If their friendship turned into something more, fine, and if it didn't, that was fine, too. At the time, she had no idea that their friendship would lead to marriage a couple of years later.

Despite Sharon's own decorations at home, it never felt like Christmas until she got to Park City. The aroma of dinner cooking, the loud greetings from her family, the familiar Christmas music playing, and the smell from the Douglas Fir in the corner of the room lifted her spirits considerably when they got to the house. "Let me see that baby," she said, making her way to her nephew and his wife. Their baby had only been a couple of weeks old when she and Andy got married, so they hadn't been at the wedding. She'd seen pictures of the baby, but she hadn't seen him in person.

"Well, hey, Aunt Sharon," Ben commented. "Remember me? Your nephew?"

"Shut up and give him to me."

"Well, I'd be offended if I wasn't used to it. Mom and Dad have been the same way since he was born, and I've gotten the same treatment from everyone else since we got here. This is the first time I've held him all day." Ben carefully transferred the baby to Sharon's arms. "I mean, I expected that from you guys, but Mimi and Granddad were disappointing."

"Honey. Once you have a baby, you lose even the grandparents' attention. Hi, by the way." She gave him a hug and kissed his cheek before doing the same with his wife. "Hi, Anna. Have you been feeling okay?"

Anna nodded. "I had no idea there was a market for pads with ice packs in them before I had him, but once I got past the need for those, I've been okay."

"Oh, my god, those things were a lifesaver," Sharon agreed. "But look at this precious little baby!"

"I know." Anna kissed the top of his head. "So worth it." A few minutes later, the baby started whimpering and turning his head toward Sharon. "I better fix him a bottle before he really gets turned up." Anna warmed up a bottle and handed it to Sharon. Carter turned away from the bottle and back toward Sharon a couple of times, like he wanted to nurse.

"Sorry, kid, but Aunt Sharon has nothing there." Sharon shifted him in her arms and tried to get him to take the bottle.

"I may need to go nurse him. He doesn't like bottles at home, but he'll usually still take one. Being in a new place with so many people around...Oh, there he goes."

Sharon looked down and saw that Carter was taking the bottle, but he was looking up at them like he'd been betrayed. "Ricky didn't like bottles, either. Emily didn't discriminate. She'd take it any way I'd give it to her. But when I went back to work after I had Ricky, I had to send a t-shirt I'd leaked into to daycare with him so he'd take his bottles."

"Ewwwww, gross, Mom!" Ricky and Rusty complained at the same time.

"Please, that's nothing," Ben spoke up. "I've had to hear about crap like that for months, now, and it's usually worse than that. If I have to suffer, so do you guys."

"I'm so glad I don't do that as much anymore," Anna said, ignoring the guys. "For a couple of weeks after he was born, I'd wake up in the middle of the night soaking wet."

Sharon nodded. "I had to sleep with towels under me for the first few weeks after Emily and Ricky were born."

After dinner, everyone migrated to the porch and sat around the fireplace. Sharon had gotten a second wind when they got to the house, but she was getting drowsy again and was the first to turn in. She really just wanted to take her bra off more than anything, but she knew it wouldn't take long to fall asleep. The affected area of her breast was bothering her more than usual and felt like it was badly sunburned. After telling everyone goodnight, she went inside to get ready for bed. As she crawled under the covers, she groaned to herself when she realized she'd forgotten to apply the cream she had for her more uncomfortable days. She'd been keeping the area clean and moisturized like she was supposed to, but she hadn't needed the cream yet. She was drifting off when she sensed Andy standing over her. "Hey, did you put the cream on? I could tell you were uncomfortable."

"No. Forgot," Sharon squeezed her eyes more tightly shut when the lamp beside the bed turned on.

"Here, I've got it." Andy pulled her covers down, lifted her nightgown, and gently applied the cool cream.

Sharon still hadn't opened her eyes, and she felt Andy's hand on her forehead a minute later. "I'm fine, Andy. Just tired."

"Okay...Do you need anything?"

"No. Thanks, that feels a lot better."

Andy kissed the top of her head, pulled the covers back over her, and turned the lamp off. "I'll be in soon."

After going to bed before 9:00, Sharon woke up soon after 6:00 the next morning. The good nights' sleep had helped a lot. She felt much better. She put a pod in the Keurig, got a couple of blankets, and took her cup of coffee out to the porch and turned the gas logs on. After sipping her coffee and enjoying the view of the lake and snow-covered mountains for a while, she could hear Carter crying. She went inside and put a cup of water in the microwave to warm a bottle up for him before stepping lightly into Ben's and Anna's room.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," Anna mumbled.

Sharon remembered those late night and early morning hours of being woken up by a screaming infant and wanting to cry herself from being so tired quite well. She stood beside Anna and lightly tapped her cheek. "I've been up for a while. Why don't you let me give him a bottle, and you can go back to sleep for a couple of hours?"

"You're the best," Anna murmured, pulling the covers over her face, so Sharon took that as a yes and found the diaper bag before gently lifting Carter from his portable cradle.

"Come on, sweet boy," Sharon cooed. "We'll get this bottom changed while your bottle warms up." She carried him into the kitchen, got the cup of water from the microwave and put a bottle from the refrigerator in the cup of hot water before taking Carter into the living room to change his diaper. As she cleaned him up and taped a clean diaper on him, she remembered how she'd hated changing Ricky for the first few days after he was born. He'd looked mutilated after being circumcised, and she was usually too busy getting Vaseline in his diaper to remember to point him down as she put a clean diaper on him, and he'd peed on her more than his diapers for the first few days. Once the bottle was warm, Sharon sat outside by the fire with Carter wrapped up in a blanket and fed him. He grinned and cooed at her for a while after he ate before going back to sleep. She remembered Emily and Ricky being their happiest in the mornings at this age, too.

Later that morning, Sharon was talking to her sister and Anna in her and Ben's bedroom as Anna nursed Carter. "Have you still been watching Badge of Justice?" Anna asked. I normally would've been a little sad that you guys have to leave on Tuesday before it comes on, since I'd finally have a chance to watch it with you. The final season has been terrible, though. I'm only watching the rest of the episodes because it'll drive me crazy if I don't see how it ends."

"I'm the same way," Sharon answered. "The writer threw a tantrum because the show got canceled and killed Sherry off for no reason. It didn't even make sense! He could've at least given her death a purpose for the show instead of killing her off with something that doesn't kill most people with it, and if it does, it takes a lot longer than a couple of months after the diagnosis."

Anna nodded. "I know, right? My uncle is a cardiologist, and I made him watch the episodes between the diagnosis and her dying. He laughed hysterically and said 'yeah, that doesn't happen.'"

Sharon rolled her eyes. "I thought the 'season we deserved' meant that we were finally going to get some more personal background on Sherry. It really meant 'I have to drop hints that she's dying as a courtesy, but I'm going to repeatedly call this the season loyal fans deserve so people will have false hope and keep watching.' I saw the same signs everyone else did that she was going to die, but it seemed too obvious and made absolutely no sense. The 'season we deserve' ended up being the worst season of the whole series. By far."


	15. Chapter 15

Sharon picked Emily up from the airport in Park City around noon on Christmas Eve. She and Emmett had decided that they would have one more Christmas where they did their own thing and not worry about having to work out when they were doing what with whose family. Sharon had seen her so much lately, especially for this time of year, and she was feeling spoiled. She loved that Emily's dream of being a professional ballerina had come true, but she missed her. "Have you decided what you're going to do about your contract?" Sharon asked. Emily had been thinking about moving back to LA, but now she had a week to sign her contract for the following year.

"I'd decided to stay in New York for one more year, but Mrs. Addison called me just a couple of days ago and said she's selling her ballet studio, if I was interested. Blair must've given her my number." That was Emily's ballet instructor before she enrolled in a more advanced program, and Emily and her daughter had grown up together. Despite the larger programs downtown, she still did very well.

Sharon raised her eyebrows. If Emily did move back to LA, she was planning to audition for ballet companies there, but this was a completely different direction. "What do you think?"

"At first, I thought there was no way in hell I'd want to do that, but having a more stable schedule and not having to miss friends' weddings and stuff because of performances is starting to sound pretty good. Emmett and I talked about it, and he likes the idea of moving to LA soon, too. And of not going weeks at a time barely seeing each other when he has to travel during the week and I have performances on weekends. I'm going to think about it for a couple of days, but I think I'm going to do it."

Sharon was surprised that Emily was open to that idea, but it thrilled her to no end. "That's great! I'll miss seeing your performances, but if you're ready to move back to LA, I would love to have you nearby."

"It would've been ideal five or so years from now, but if I don't buy it while I can, someone else will. She ran through her profits for the last few years with me, and she's sitting on top of a little gold mine."

"For parents who don't work downtown, her location was great," Sharon commented. "It was still more convenient for me to pick you up there than having to go even farther downtown than I already was. If she hadn't thought you could have a professional future in ballet, it would've been fine with me for you to stay there for as long as you were enjoying it."

"Who's getting the bra this year?" Emily asked, changing the subject. When Ricky was ten, he lost his mind one night when he found one of Sharon's sister's bras hanging on a bathroom door handle, so, the next year, Sharon had bought the biggest and ugliest bra she could find and wrapped it up for him to open when they exchanged gifts. The boy cousins had teased him endlessly, so it had become a tradition for her to give the bra to one of them each year.

"Now that Ben has a baby, he's been exposed to a lot of things he'd much rather not know about. I don't think the bra will faze him, and that's not any fun. Probably Ricky. He hasn't gotten it in a while."

Emily nodded. "Will's reactions are always so funny. He's the best one to get it, but he just got it two years in a row. I can't wait to see Ben's and Anna's baby!" Sharon had to do that and switch up the order sometimes to keep them guessing.

"He is the cutest thing," Sharon answered. "Anna's worn out, though."

"I bet. I've been exhausted for the last few days, and I haven't had a baby keeping me up at night. Or even a big part in a performance in a couple of months. I don't know why I'm so tired." They were stopped at a stoplight, and Sharon turned toward Emily and looked her over. "I'm not sick or anything, Mom. I'm probably just not sleeping well. I've been blaming Emmett. He hasn't had to travel in the last couple of weeks, and he can't stay on his own damn side of the bed." Emily never would've hidden the fact that they were living together from Sharon, but after Andy moved in and they were officially living together, Emily had gotten more comfortable with actually talking about it.

"Ugh, that's the worst," Sharon agreed. "I like to be close when we're watching TV, reading or talking before bed, or for a few minutes after I wake up in the morning, but once I lie down, Andy knows to stay the hell away from me. For the most part, anyway, there are still nights where he unconsciously cuddles and I spend half of the night pushing him off of me."

"Emmett knows, and he tries, but he does it in his sleep a lot, too."

Sharon laughed. "Andy got a little better after I almost got him where it hurts with my knee one night."

"What?! How did that happen...Ew, I probably don't want to know."

"We were both asleep. Neither one of us really know how it happened. It was a night after we'd been working for over 36 hours trying to close a case, and we came home and fell into bed. The next morning, he had a bruise on his leg that hadn't been there the night before. All we could think of was that he must've gotten too close to me at some point during the night, so I tried to get him off of me while I was either asleep or barely awake and too drowsy to remember, and my knee must've been my weapon of choice. I just remember him saying that if it had been a couple of inches to the left, he definitely would've woken up."

Emily laughed. "That's hilarious. The poor guy probably started wearing a cup to bed...That reminds me, I was just telling Emmett a couple of days ago about Ricky getting hurt when he was younger because he was too embarrassed to tell you he had to have a cup for soccer. How old was he? Eight or nine?"

Sharon nodded. "I think he was eight." While Jack's frequent absence had affected both children, Ricky had definitely suffered more.

"Had Dad come back home recently when that happened? I remember Ricky screaming that he wanted him when you realized he was hurt and were trying to get him to let you look at it, and I think he said something about Dad not being there because you yelled too much or something. Dad came and left so much, I can't remember what he was there for and what he wasn't."

"Yes, he'd only been gone a few days when that happened. By the time I called the after-hours line of the pediatrician's office to see what I should do, I was crying right along with Ricky. That poor nurse. Ricky was wailing in the background, and she could probably tell I was crying, too." Sharon had wished she could take a cleated foot to Jack's testicles more than once that evening. Ricky had been okay, but she'd had to take him to the emergency room when the pain hadn't subsided after over an hour. And it had been another headache when Ricky lost his mind because the doctor was a woman. Trying to buy a cup for him the next day when she had no earthly idea what she was doing hadn't been fun, either.

Emily yawned. "I'm never able to sleep on a plane, but I got so close this time. But then someone's baby started screaming and didn't stop until after we landed...I wonder how Carter did on the plane. Flying with a newborn can't be fun. I felt bad for being annoyed."

"Anna said she was nervous that they were going to be those people on the plane whose baby screamed the whole time, but she said he did fine. She was afraid it would hurt his ears or that the takeoff or landing would frighten him, but she said he just smiled during both."

"She said he's a pretty good baby," Emily said.

"He seems to be, but even good babies are exhausting. Not that I would know what a good baby's like, you two were holy terrors."

Emily rolled her eyes. "We couldn't have been that bad."

"You both had this annoying little habit of wanting to only nurse on one side at a time, go back to sleep, and then eat every hour and a half. I finally started holding a cold, wet cloth and wiping your face every time you tried to go back to sleep so I could get more than an hour at a time of sleep." Sharon laughed. "I can still see your little face scrunched up, pissed off and screaming when I did that!"

"Okay, okay." Emily looked at her phone. "Ricky wants to know if you're stopping at the store."

"Why? What does he need?"

"More beer. You know, the basics."

"I guess we could. The snow's not too bad, we have time. Tell him to ask Mimi, Aunt Kate, or Aunt Beth if we need any other groceries." After a quick stop at the grocery store, they went back to the house. Andy saw that Emily had come in with just a couple of grocery bags in her hand, so he gave her a hug and went down to the car to bring her luggage up to the house.

"You look good holding a baby, Em," Kate commented a little while later.

Emily looked down at Carter in her arms. "Oh, you think so? You should see how good I look giving him back to his parents and sleeping all night! Speaking of which, here, go to your mother with your crying."

"It's past time for him to eat." Carter's cries grew louder as Anna took him from Emily. "Come with me, I hate having to shut myself up for at least thirty minutes every three hours. And Sharon, I want to hear more about that Stroh guy. I was feeding this little parasite when you were telling everyone else about it last night." From the smell of food cooking in the kitchen, lunch would probably be ready soon, but Emily was starving and grabbed a pack of crackers before following Anna.

"I'm coming, baby boy," Anna cooed as she settled on the bed and started to nurse him. His shrill cries were immediately silenced and replaced with a contented grunt as he started eating.

Sharon sat down in a chair near the bed. "I hated when Emily or Ricky got so upset when I couldn't feed them right on time, but that little noise they made when they finally got what they wanted was always so cute."

"Isn't it?" Anna agreed.

"You don't mind us being in here?" Emily asked nervously.

"God, no. If you're modest before you have a baby, you won't be after. I wouldn't whip it out in front of the men or anything, but I don't care about you guys. Now, tell me about this serial killer."

"There's really not much to tell," Sharon answered. "We had clues that he was heading for LA, but we didn't know if he was specifically coming after Rusty or not. With him safely escaping the country, it wouldn't make much sense for him to come back just for Rusty, but we couldn't ignore him, either. He obviously had some other targets across the country to take care of first, but there may have been some reason he wanted us to know he was possibly coming to LA. But, it doesn't matter now, because he just turned up dead. I have to work with one of the coroner's medical examiners a lot, and he called me when he thought he recognized Stroh's body. He'd only seen pictures, though, so he wasn't sure it was him. He said it made no sense how he died, but I can't say I really care."

Anna rolled her eyes. "I wish they'd done something like that on Badge of Justice. I couldn't care less about what they do with Strom at the end. If they were going to kill anyone off in a way that didn't make sense, they should've done it to him, not Sherry. And now Strom is getting this "personal story" in the next few episodes. We already know where he's from and where he went to school, and we never learned that about Sherry. After multiple seasons of telling us nothing about her, Huff is probably going to tell us all kinds of shit about Strom that we've always wanted to know about Sherry. It's like he's trying to piss us off."

Sharon nodded. "I don't know if he was trying or not, but that's what he did. Sure, let's give two men heart attacks and have them be completely fine after that, and then kill off the little fragile woman with a mild heart condition that's not fatal for most people who have it."

"Male showrunners are why we can't have nice things. If Scandal had gotten canceled, Shonda's brand of 'eff you' would've been to write the best season yet to the point that ABC realized how stupid they were for canceling it. Instead of being a grownup and being loyal to his fans, Huff outlined the worst season he could think of, then took his toys and went home." Anna shifted against the pillows as they talked. "It's bad enough to kill her off, but to do that after telling us nothing about the character? There's no way to save this season after that. Huff just repeatedly called it the 'season we deserve' so we'd keep watching, and he'll probably do something lame at the end like have Dusty just shoot Strom with his hands up when he's not in any kind of danger."

Sharon shook her head. "That would be straight-up murder. I don't think even Huff could write his way around that one, and you know he's not sending his precious Dusty to jail."

"Hold on." Anna paused dramatically. "If we listen hard enough, I think we can hear Huff say, 'hold my beer.' I wouldn't put it past him to try. He obviously thinks we're stupid enough to fall for "I didn't show Sherry's and Randy's engagement on-screen because fictional characters need their privacy."

Lauren and Claire wandered in then, and Claire spotted Emily eating and climbed on the bed beside her, looking expectantly from her to the crackers. Emily pulled her into her lap. "All right, Claire-bear, you can have the last two." Claire ate the crackers and got down from the bed. "Claire! I'm out of crackers to give you, so now you're done with me?" Emily teased.

"Yup," Claire answered matter-of-factly.

Emily smiled. "Hey, at least she's honest."

Lauren piled on the bed with Emily and Anna. "Yeah, a little too honest. I'd get mad, but that was actually tame compared to what can come out of her mouth sometimes."

"Hmmm, I can't imagine where she gets that from!" Sharon gave Lauren a meaningful look.

"I wasn't that bad!" Lauren protested. "She asked for wine at preschool one day, and when they tried to explain why they didn't have any, she said, 'why not, my mommy drinks that all the time!' I'm surprised they didn't call child services!"

Sharon shrugged. "I thought it was hilarious when you were her age and felt the need to inform a ninety-year-old man at mass that he didn't have any teeth. Your parents did not. Or when you—"

"Okay, okay. Payback, I know," Lauren huffed. "I'm definitely getting it."

Early that evening, Sharon, her mom, Kate, Beth, Lauren, and Anna were on the porch. They'd come outside to join the men, but they'd gradually trickled back inside. It never failed. Any time her family was together, the men and women unintentionally managed to stay separated for a good bit of the time. Well, some of the time it probably had to do with the subject of pregnancy, childbirth, or menopause inevitably coming up, and especially with a new baby in the family, the women's conversations could get a bit graphic. Ben had just been outside, and Sharon was noticing for the first time that he was gone. "Oh, Ben gave it up. I didn't realize he'd gone inside."

Anna nodded. "I think we lost him at 'episiotomy.' Now that he's actually witnessed one, bringing that up is the fastest way to get him out of the room. Wuss."

Emily had been napping for almost three hours, and Sharon was starting to worry about her. She hadn't slept this long after she flew home for Thanksgiving, and she'd had to leave a couple of hours earlier than she did this morning. The porch door opened, and Emily came out with a glass of wine in her hand. She easily fit in Sharon's wide chair beside her and lay against her. "I don't know why I'm so tired. I've never been like this before."

Sharon spread part of her blanket over Emily. "The last time I was this tired and didn't know why, I was pregnant and didn't know yet."

"Sorry to break your heart, Mom, but my IUD's good for another year. I feel a little better now, I think I just needed a little extra sleep."

Sharon got lost in her thoughts while everyone else continued talking. She'd never really been sick during her pregnancies, and she'd been more tired than normal with Emily and Ricky. But it was the third one that made her feel like she'd been hit by a bus. The one that she miscarried a week after she found out about it. Pregnancy hadn't even occurred to her. Emily had been completely unplanned, but it had taken her months to get pregnant with Ricky with no birth control and a conscious effort to have another baby. By the time Emily was old enough for her to start thinking about law school like she'd planned, she really liked her job with the LAPD and decided to stay there instead of going back to school. Since Ricky was born, she'd still taken birth control, but she and Jack were fighting more frequently and weren't intimate as often as they had once been, so she didn't worry too much if she missed a pill or two here and there, especially since she thought she wouldn't get pregnant easily. With two small children, a minimally helpful husband, at best, and a demanding job, the thought of having any idea when she'd had her last period was a big joke.

A/N: I know canon Sharon didn't go to law school because she "got pregnant, got pregnant again, and then Jack left," but it annoys me that JD used pregnancy as a reason for that instead of Sharon just liking her job and choosing to keep it (I know liking her job was alluded to in that conversation, and this has never bothered me before, but after the shithole of a last season, I have a heightened aggravation for a lot more than I did before, haha.)

Summer 1988

Sharon stood up from her desk one Friday morning and became lightheaded. She'd been worn out and achy for the last couple of weeks, and she didn't feel bad enough to go to the doctor, but she just didn't feel well. Her commanding officer was walking by her and steadied her until the room stopped spinning. "Raydor. I don't know what's going on, but you don't seem healthy. Go home, and I don't want you to come back until you have a doctor's note clearing you to work." Sharon wasn't too happy about it, but she was starting to worry about what could be wrong with her, and going home and curling up on the couch without two screaming kids in her hair sounded magical. She made a doctor's appointment for the following Tuesday afternoon when she got home and passed out on the couch.

The next morning, Sharon was lying on the couch and watching TV when a sleepy-eyed, four-year-old Emily came in with her blanket trailing behind her and climbed on the couch with her. Despite being so tired, Sharon had woken up soon after 7:00 and couldn't go back to sleep. "Hi, baby. Mommy's not feeling too good this morning. Do you think you could play with your toys and be good for me?" Jack was going to have to handle the toddler tornado that was Ricky, whether he liked it or not. At 18 months old, if he was awake, he was in destruction mode.

Emily nodded seriously and narrowed her eyes before putting her little hand on Sharon's forehead. "You are burning up, baby girl." She was imitating Sharon, no doubt.

Sharon was pretty sure she didn't have a fever, but she played along. "What do you suggest, Doctor Emily?"

Emily dramatically tapped her chin and looked deep in thought. "...I think...Goofy Grape Kool-aid and some animal crackers will make you feel a lot better."

Sharon smiled. "Em, honey, that's not breakfast—actually, that sounds pretty good. Come on." Eating was the furthest thing from her mind, but that did sound like something she could eat. Sharon took Emily's hand and walked with her to the kitchen.

"We can eat on the couch?" Emily asked, in awe, when Sharon led her back to the couch with their "breakfast."

"Just this once. Mommy's really tired."

Emily nodded. "Can you always be really tired? I like this."

Ricky was sleeping a little later than usual that morning, but he was calling for "Ma-ma" from his crib a little while later. That hadn't happened in a few weeks. Ricky had been all about Jack recently. The one time she was too tired to get off of the couch, he finally wanted her again. "Jack, please get him," Sharon called down the hall.

"But he wants you!" Jack protested.

"Jack, please! I'm exhausted!"

"Okay, okay."

They'd been through a few rough patches in the last few years, but Jack had toned down the drinking lately and was being somewhat helpful with the kids, for once. Sharon heard Ricky start sobbing when Jack came in. "Want Ma-ma!" He whined.

"Just bring him in here, Jack, I'll change him," Sharon called. She could hear little feet toddling down the hall, and Ricky made his way over to her, clutching his teddy bear. Jack was right behind him and handed Sharon a box of wet wipes and a clean diaper. "Hey, sleepyhead! I thought you were going to sleep all day!" She unsnapped his pajamas, removed his diaper, wiped him down, and taped the dry diaper on him before snapping his pajamas back up. She rolled up the wet diaper and taped it closed. Jack came in with a bottle of milk, and she took it from him and placed the wet diaper in his hand to put in the garbage. "Thanks." Ricky finished his bottle and wedged himself between Sharon and the back of the couch. He popped his pacifier back in his mouth and lay against her. He could keep tabs on that pacifier better than she'd been able to keep up with anything in her life. Sharon wrapped her arm around him and pressed her cheek to his forehead, which made her realize why he suddenly wanted her again. He felt a little warm. He seemed to have an incessant cough and congestion from being around other small kids all day, but sometimes that led to an ear infection or something worse. Between him, Emily, and daycare and preschool germs, there was almost always at least one little pink bottle of amoxicillin in the refrigerator. Sharon rearranged her blanket over them and rested her hand on his forehead. "Hmm, no wonder you wanted Mommy this morning! You have a little fever. Does your ear hurt?"

"No..." Ricky mumbled. That wasn't exactly reliable, as that was his standard answer to almost any question, whether he meant it or not. As with most toddlers, 'no' was his favorite word. He usually held his hand to his ear if one of them was hurting, though, so maybe he was right this time.

"Can you tell Mommy where it hurts?"

"Yucky," Ricky pouted.

"You just feel yucky, huh? Mommy feels a little yucky, too." Ricky nodded absently and snuggled into her chest. He reached up to rub the skin on her neck, like he always did when he was tired. It wasn't long before he was sleeping against her, and his warm weight in her arms and steady breathing lulled her to sleep, too. She had no idea she would find out she was pregnant three days later, just to miscarry the next week. She was heartbroken, despite the fact that they probably couldn't handle three children, but that didn't make her feel any better about it.


	16. Chapter 16

After dinner on Christmas Eve, Sharon and Andy were the last two in the kitchen, finishing up getting the kitchen cleaned. The dishwasher was already full and running, and Andy was washing the last couple of dishes that wouldn't fit. Sharon paused and watched him for a few moments. She loved to watch him wash dishes or fold clothes. It made him seem even more attractive, for some reason. She finished wiping the counter and slipped her arms around his waist from behind. Andy stopped and rested his arm on top of hers as she leaned against the back of his shoulder. They just stood there in silence for a couple of minutes before she moved to his side and started drying and putting away the dishes he'd already washed. Once they were finished, Andy took Sharon's hand as they joined the others in the living room. They'd gradually gotten out of the habit of attending Christmas Eve Mass in the last few years, and she missed it, but it was nice to just stay at the house and not have to go up and down the mountain after dark, too.

Sharon and Andy squeezed into the edge of one of the couches beside Emily, who was holding Carter. "Here, Mom, take him. I'm going to get something to drink." Sharon happily took the baby, but Rusty caught her eye when Emily got up.

"Rusty? Do you want to hold him?" He'd held his other mom's baby, who had recently turned a year old, several times when she was this small. He'd been nervous at first, but he'd gotten better with her after seeing her a few times. Rusty quickly shook his head. "Why not? You're great with your little sister."

"Yeah, but she's been big enough to not be scary for a long time. I'm good."

"Oh, come on." Sharon shifted closer to him and carefully transferred the baby to his arms before moving closer to Andy again.

Rusty was nervous at first, but he relaxed after a couple of minutes. He grimaced a few minutes later when an unmistakeable sound and smell came from the baby. "Um, Anna, we have a bit of a situation over here."

"Okay, just take him back to our room. His diapers and wipes are beside the bed," Anna deadpanned.

Rusty's eyes widened, and a look of horror came over his face. "Mo-om! I think he wants you again."

Anna rolled her eyes. "I'm kidding."

"I'll take him, Rusty." Kate took Carter from him and left the room. A few minutes later, they could hear raised voices from the porch, where Ricky, Sharon's nephews, Lauren, and her husband were sitting with a bottle of tequila. Sharon looked outside, guessing that her niece, Maggie, had arrived. She was supposed to arrive that afternoon, but her flight had gotten delayed a couple of times. Once Sharon's remaining niece, Sarah, arrived the next day, the family would be complete. Sharon looked outside just in time to see Maggie's head go back, obviously taking a shot of tequila. Kate came back in with Carter just in time to see it, too. "Nice, Maggie," she muttered. "She could at least come say hello first!"

"She's 35, she can take a shot of tequila if she wants to," Sharon's mom retorted. "You, however, did not have that luxury at fifteen."

"Aunt Kate!" Emily gasped in mock horror.

Sharon raised an eyebrow at Emily. "I wouldn't clutch your pearls just yet, young lady. I happen to remember you coming home and barely being able to walk upstairs a time or two."

A guilty expression came over Emily's face. "Sorry, Mimi, you're on your own."

Kate nodded. "Oh, yes, I remember getting a couple of irate phone calls then. You can thank me, by the way, I had to talk your mom down from killing you in your hungover stupor a couple of times."

"That probably would've been better than what she actually did then," Emily muttered.

Sharon nodded. "She got the Mimi treatment. Light on, open blinds, and vacuum running at 7:00 in the morning."

"And then the lectures. Mom acted like she had no idea I'd been drunk the night before, and she wouldn't leave my room until I couldn't wait any longer and had to get out of bed to throw up. She'd go all mom-mode and take care of me, and both times I thought I'd gotten away with it and convinced her that I was just sick. I'd have my guard down, and then she'd start handing my ass to me."

Andy laughed. "That sounds frightening."

Emily shook her head. "That's what makes it even worse. She didn't yell, which made me feel ten times worse. I felt like the scum of the earth by the time she was done with me. And she'd hide the upstairs medicine and glass I kept on the bathroom sink for when I woke up thirsty in the middle of the night so I would have to go downstairs to get water and Advil."

Sharon's mom gave her a look of disgust. "Sharon. That's just mean."

"Where do you think I learned that?!" Sharon shot back.

"How did you know about it, Mom?" Emily asked pointedly.

"I shared a room with your aunt! When Kate got the Mimi treatment, I got it, too, whether I deserved it or not." Sharon didn't drink much in high school, and when she did, it was never a lot at one time, and she could easily hide it. "Any time I got the Mimi treatment, I can assure you it was your aunt's fault."

Sharon's mom wrapped a protective arm around Emily. "That was never intended to be used against my precious grandchildren."

Sharon gave her mom a disbelieving look. "I had the flu one of the times it happened, and that didn't stop you from running the damn vacuum at the crack of dawn!"

Sharon's mom ignored her and turned back to Emily. "It seems like your mother could've come up with her own punishment. And she calls herself a police officer!"

Emily nodded. "I know, right?"

Kate rolled her eyes as she shifted Carter to her shoulder. "If mom ever saw any of our little terrors hungover as teenagers, she would've taken care of them like their misery wasn't completely self-inflicted. And I got that damn vacuum at an ungodly hour in the morning."

"Complain all you want, but you're going to be the same way with Carter," Emily pointed out. "Just like Mom will be if Ricky or I ever lose our minds and have kids."

Maggie came in a few minutes later and greeted everyone else. Sharon had only recently found out she was pregnant with Emily when Maggie was born, and she still wasn't thrilled with the idea at the time. Kate had been the first person she was close with to have a baby, and Sharon hadn't been crazy about babies at all. She'd immediately fallen in love with Maggie, though, and she'd helped her come around on the idea of having a baby of her own. "Hey, my little magpie," Sharon murmured as she pulled her into her arms and kissed her cheek.

"Do you have to call me that?" Maggie complained.

"Yes, I do."

"Hey, Maggie may! It's about time!" Andy commented as he gave her a hug.

"See? Now that's better," Maggie said.

"I don't care. You're still my baby magpie."

"I've got to see my little nephew." Maggie took Carter from Kate. "He's gotten huge since the last time I saw him! God, he looks just like Ben. Sorry, little dude, I hope you grow out of that."

"Not everyone has as much luck with whom they look like as you did," Sharon teased. Maggie had looked more like Sharon than her own mother since the day she was born. Sharon looked around and saw that Claire was almost asleep in Beth's lap. "Dad, you might want to go ahead and read The Night Before Christmas. I think we're about to lose Claire."

Maggie moved back toward the door. "I'll tell the miscreants on the porch. They'll probably want to come in." The adults always enjoyed this tradition as much as the children. It had been a few years since this had actually occurred on Christmas Eve, since most of the family had gotten into the habit of taking care of holiday gatherings with the other side of their families either right before or on Christmas and coming to Park City on or immediately after Christmas Day. This year, they'd all been able to arrange to switch up the scheduling so everyone could be there while Sharon was there, since she had to be back right after Christmas for radiation.

Once Claire and Carter were settled in Sharon's dad's lap and everyone else had found a seat, he opened the book and started reading. Sharon didn't want to think about when the time came that he either wasn't well enough or wasn't here at all to read to them. It seemed like just yesterday that she and her siblings were the ones with small children and new babies. She enjoyed watching her children, nieces, and nephews growing up and starting their own lives, but she missed them being small children, too. The fun parts, anyway. Not the vomiting and worrying and being woken up in the middle of the night for various reasons. Lauren was on the floor at Sharon's feet, and Sharon moved to the edge of the couch and absently french-braided her hair as they listened to the story. She was halfway done before she realized she'd been doing it. She was finishing it as the story was ending and realized she had nothing to secure the end with, so she combed her hair back out with her fingers and sat farther back on the couch.

Lauren looked up at Sharon when she no longer felt her fingers in her hair. "Why'd you stop?"

"I was just braiding it, and I didn't have anything to tie it with."

"Oh, I thought you were just playing with it. But you can't do that and tease me for just a couple of minutes and stop."

Sharon moved back to the edge of the couch and started running her fingers through Lauren's hair. "Rotten child. Emily loves for me to play with her hair, too."

Chris, Lauren's husband, walked over to them with Claire in his arms. "I'm going to go tuck her in. She's about to drop."

Lauren hugged her and kissed her forehead. "Night-night, sweet girl. Sweet dreams."

"She doesn't seem that excited," Sharon commented after they'd both told Claire goodnight. She'd been talking excitedly about Santa coming earlier that day, but now it was like she'd forgotten about it.

"I think she's too tired," Lauren answered. "I think Dad wore her out playing in the snow this afternoon, and she didn't take a nap. I'm surprised she hasn't fallen asleep before now. I think she'll be excited in the morning, though. She still didn't really know what was going on last year."

"If you think about it, wake me up in the morning if I'm not up when she wakes up." Sharon hadn't seen a small child on Christmas morning in a long time, and it had been a few years since she'd been in Park City for it.

"I will. Mom and Dad will want to be awake, too. She usually sleeps until about 8:00, but I don't know if she'll be excited and wake up earlier, or be tired and sleep a little later."

"That reminds me, I better give mine their Christmas pajamas. They'll probably be ready to put their pajamas on soon." Sharon dug through her bags of gifts beside the Christmas Tree until she found the ones she was looking for.

"Aren't we a little old for this?" Ricky groaned as Sharon handed him his gift.

"Keep complaining, and I'll take a picture of all three of you wearing them in front of the tree and send out a Christmas card next year," Sharon warned as she gave Emily and Rusty theirs.

"Never mind," Ricky quickly amended.

The next morning, Sharon woke up early and could hear someone moving around in the kitchen. It was probably her mom. She had to get up to go to the bathroom and was tempted to try to go back to sleep, but Andy's snoring discouraged that idea. She put her robe on and went to the kitchen in search of coffee, instead. "Morning, Mom."

"Morning, darling. You're up early."

Sharon poured a cup of coffee and wrapped her hands around its warmth. "Andy's snoring so loudly, I thought he was about to inhale me. I couldn't go back to sleep."

Sharon's mom sat in a bar stool beside her. "How is everything going?"

"I only have a couple of weeks of treatment left," Sharon answered, knowing that was what she was really asking about. "It makes me tired, and I'm sometimes uncomfortable after, but it hasn't been bad. It could definitely be worse, though."

"You looked exhausted when you guys got here Friday night."

"I was," Sharon admitted, "but it had been a long week. I'd also had two treatments within about fourteen hours, and I usually have about twenty-four hours between treatments. I felt a lot better Saturday morning."

"You have looked better since then," her mom agreed. "Dad and I were concerned when you went to bed Friday night, but you did seem better the next morning."

"My oncologist said it's been going as well as expected, so I should be clear once I'm finished. It was caught almost as early as it possibly could've been, so I shouldn't have anything to worry about," Sharon reassured her.

Sharon's mom took her hand. "I know, but statistics aren't so reassuring when it's your own child."

They talked for a little while longer before they started preparing for breakfast. Sarah was a doctor and had been on call until 7:00 that morning and wouldn't be arriving until about 10:00, so they put the food in the refrigerator and wouldn't put it in the oven for a couple more hours. They always cooked a big breakfast and big dinner on Christmas Day, or whatever day everyone was there to celebrate Christmas, which had usually been a day or two after Christmas in the last few years. Sharon had liked that arrangement, as everyone else had always already celebrated Christmas with their other families by the time they got to Park City, so most of them never had to rush back home for anything. Most of their work schedules usually allowed for them to be away until after the new year. Sharon was at the end of a two-year vacation day cycle and had some use-or-lose days, as she couldn't bank unused days like she could with sick days. She wasn't planning to go back to work until after the new year unless they caught a case, but she had to stick to her radiation schedule.

A little while later, some of the others were starting to wake up. Sharon mixed a pitcher of mimosas and took it and a few glasses into the living room. She wasn't quite ready for one, but she knew Kate and Beth would probably skip the coffee and go straight for the mimosas. After refilling her coffee mug, Sharon sat on the couch and looked over the two "Santa" piles between the Christmas tree and the fireplace. Claire's stash of clothes, books, and toys was just enough to where she would be excited, but not so much that getting it home would be too difficult. Sharon remembered the importance of that balance quite well. The older her children got, the more she had to leave at home for Santa to "take to their house instead of Park City because he knew they were traveling and wouldn't have room to take it home." That was usually fun, too, as Emily and Ricky were always sad about leaving relatives and tired by the time they got home after Christmas and usually forgot that there would be more gifts at home. They'd get excited all over again. Carter's pile was just enough to keep Claire from asking why Santa didn't come see him, as he obviously had no idea what was going on.

Lauren came in a little while later and went straight to the CD player. 'Don't come into the living room until you hear Christmas music playing' had been a rule on Christmas morning since Emily and Maggie, the oldest grandchildren, were Claire's age. Lauren quickly selected the Johnny Mathis CD and pressed play. "Claire is bouncing off of the walls," she muttered as she got her phone set to video. They soon heard the sound of little feet approaching, and Claire tore into the room with a drowsy-looking Chris behind her. Will, Lauren's and Sarah's brother, was right behind him. Claire looked a little overwhelmed at first, but then her eyes lit up, and she started chattering excitedly as she looked through everything. Sharon enjoyed the scene as the familiar Christmas songs played in the background.

"Did you notice if Ben and Anna were up?" Kate asked.

Lauren nodded. "Anna's feeding Carter. They'll be in here in a few minutes."

Emily and Rusty came in a few minutes later, roused by the music. They both wordlessly stumbled to the kitchen for coffee before joining the land of the living. Ricky and Maggie were the only ones still sleeping, and it would take more than a little music and a hyper three-year-old to wake them up. A little while later, Claire grabbed one of the books she'd gotten and took it to Lauren. "You haven't read The Little Engine That Could until you've heard Aunt Sharon do the voices," Lauren advised. Claire walked over to Sharon and expectantly gave her the book.

"Come here, honey." Sharon put her mimosa on the coffee table, lifted Claire into her lap, and opened the book. She hadn't read it to a child in years, but she could probably read it with her eyes closed. Emily and Rusty leaned against her and looked at the pictures along with Claire.

By the time breakfast was ready later that morning, Ricky and Maggie were awake, and Sarah had arrived. It took a couple of hours for everyone to eat and to get dressed for the day, and then they gathered in the living room early that afternoon to open gifts from one another. Since there were so many of them, they always drew names during their summer vacation, as that was usually the only other time of the year that the whole family was in one place. Sharon watched as Ricky, Ben, and Will slowly and carefully unwrapped their gifts, each of them fearing the bra (explained in Chapter 15). She had swapped Ricky's real gift from Maggie under the tree early that morning. One of Andy's pullovers was folded around the bra, and it fell in Ricky's lap when he unfolded the pullover. He'd thought he was safe when he didn't immediately spot the bra, and it took him a few moments to notice. He threw the bra and the pullover away from him and jumped away like they were on fire. "Oh, my god! Mom! That thing is disgusting!"

"That's actually not so disgusting anymore," Ben spoke up. "Do you want to know what I've had to listen to for almost the last year? Talk about hemorrhoids and breastfeeding and pumping and constipation—"

"Ewww, I wasn't asking!" The horrified look on Ricky's face was priceless.

"Yeah, I'm definitely not hungry anymore." Rusty put the plate of breakfast leftovers he'd been holding on the table beside him and shuddered. "Gross. I don't think I'll ever be able to unhear that."

Later that afternoon, with most of the family napping or watching TV, Sharon and Andy had a little while to themselves on the porch. The snow was coming down, and they were in one of the overstuffed chairs near the fire and wrapped up in blankets. Sharon was lying on his shoulder, tempted to fall asleep herself, when he started to get up. "I'll be right back." He returned a couple of minutes later with a small wrapped box in his hand.

"Andy, we're not exchanging gifts until we get home!"

"I know, but I couldn't wait." Sharon unwrapped the gift and opened the small box. The sapphire and diamond earrings in front of her made her breath get caught in her throat. They were understated enough for her taste, but they were gorgeous. "Andy..."

"I've always noticed how you admire your mom's earrings like this. I got the closest ones I could find."

"They're perfect." With tears in her eyes, she wrapped her hand around the back of his head and pulled him in for a slow kiss. Oh, yeah, she was breaking her self-imposed 'no sex when the parents are under the same roof' rule tonight.


	17. Chapter 17

After dinner on Christmas night, everyone migrated to the porch once the kitchen was clean. It took a few minutes for the fire to warm the closed-in porch, so Sharon wrapped a blanket around herself and curled into Andy's side as she sipped her wine. The long weekend had gone by entirely too fast. They wouldn't all be together again until July. Bits and pieces of the family visited each other or took weekend trips together when it was possible, but the entire family was usually only together twice a year. For instance, Sharon tried to make it to at least two or three of Emily's performances in New York per year, and a couple of family members sometimes joined her in New York for the weekend and attended the performance as well. She, Kate, and Beth always made a point to plan such a weekend at least once a year, and sometimes a couple of her nieces would join her. She still wanted to spend more time with her family, though, and as she looked around the porch amid the loud chatter, retirement sounded pretty good to her. It had been weighing on her mind for a few months now, but she hadn't had much time to really think about it. She definitely knew she wanted to be able to visit her family more often, though, and between unused sick days and the LAPD's Deferred Retirement Option plan, she was going to get a fairly sizable payout when she retired.

A couple of glasses of wine later, some of the others were starting to go to bed, and Sharon was ready, too. She told everyone goodnight and gave Andy a pointed look. He followed her inside, not sure what was on her mind. It couldn't be what that look usually meant. She was adamant about not having sex when her parents were in the same house, despite his best efforts. A man could dream, though. Once inside, he got ready for bed and looked through his suitcase for a pair of boxers he knew she liked. Sharon was standing in front of the dresser and carefully removing the earrings he'd given her from her ears while waiting for her turn in the bathroom. Andy could always tell whether she had intimacy on her mind by how long she spent in the bathroom. If she was only in there long enough to brush her teeth, wash her face, and...whatever else she may need to do beforehand, then he knew he had a chance. If she was in there long enough to also pee and moisturize or whatever those lotions and creams and stuff were for, he knew she was going straight to bed without passing go. When she came out of the bathroom in just her robe a few minutes later and propped the little wooden stopper under the door knob behind her, it seemed too good to be true. He couldn't get across the room to close and lock the door to the hall fast enough. He wondered what had changed her mind about this, but he'd ask questions later.

As they heated up and Andy's hand started to wander lower on Sharon, she pulled his hand away. "Nuh-uh. I'm doing the work this time." With Jack, oral sex had been more about placating him when they were still in college and she was still too nervous about getting pregnant to do the real thing, despite taking birth control. With Andy, it wasn't obligatory and happened on her own terms, which made it so much better. It was more about craving a different level of physical closeness and wanting to please him because she loved him, not to keep him from seeking pleasure elsewhere, as it had been with Jack.

That statement from Sharon didn't come up too often, but Andy knew what it meant when it did. Even then, it was usually an abbreviated event and functioned as foreplay rather than the main event, but sometimes it was this and this alone. He was glad he'd had the optimistic foresight to clean himself up a little while he was getting ready for bed. "Hold on, then, not quite yet." He was probably the first man in the history of humanity to willingly postpone oral sex, but he wanted the pregame show to go on a little longer this time. He kissed her more slowly for a few more minutes before moving on to give the sensitive spots on the sides of her neck, along her waist, and the insides of her thighs that sometimes got neglected in the heat of the moment some attention. A shiver went down Sharon's spine when his lips reached the right place on her waist, just inside of her hipbone, and he slowed down even more when he realized he'd found the right spot. The reaction reminded Andy of the night he'd discovered that spot, when he'd been building up to doing for her what she was about to do for him. After teasing the inner skin of her thighs just enough to keep her from changing her mind, he sat up and moved beside her on the bed, indicating that it was her turn to tag in.

Sharon moved lower on the bed and slowly started working her way down from Andy's navel as she removed his boxers. The lower her lips moved, the more he had to bite his bottom lip to stay quiet. Her hair gently brushed against him as she moved lower, causing him to slowly arch his back. They both froze in horror when they heard footsteps coming down the hall. Their bathroom connected their room to the bedroom with twin beds that Ricky and Rusty were sharing. The movements weren't quiet and careful enough to be Rusty. It had to be Ricky. The heavy footsteps moved into the bathroom, and they could hear the other door close. Please just be peeing, please just be peeing, Andy pleaded silently. The clink of the toilet seat hitting the back of the toilet told him that his request had been answered, but even a delay for a minute or two was torture at this point. Sharon pressed her face into Andy's side, trying to suppress a laugh at the frustrated expression on his face.

Once Ricky was gone, she waited a couple of minutes before picking up where she left off. Andy braced himself and steadied his breathing as she approached her destination. The way she tenderly stroked his length and the low hum she emitted when she finally took him into her mouth never failed to send shivers down his whole body. As she slowly worked her tongue around his testicles, Andy tried to think about other things to keep him from becoming aroused just yet, as he wanted this to last as long as possible, but her cool fingers stroking him where her mouth wasn't did him in. That wasn't fair. Women had no ticking clock when it came to oral sex, but once he got hard, it was only a matter of time before he had to warn her to get out of the line of fire. They could always continue afterward, but the moment was usually gone for him by then. Sharon got a little more adventurous than usual, and when she moved beyond his testicles to the skin under his penis, he was overcome with sensations from nerve endings he never knew existed. She was moving slowly and carefully to avoid going too far back, and the slower she moved, the crazier it made him. He pressed his lips together and held his hand against his mouth, but a staggered groan still escaped, but luckily not too loudly. His breath caught in his throat, and he was too focused on not screaming to realize that he was about to climax and wasn't able to warn her. Neither of them saw it coming until he released into her hair. Sharon didn't realize what was happening until she felt him gradually begin to grow limp. He usually stopped her and pulled away from her just before it got to that point. "Did you..."

Andy nodded sheepishly. "I'm so sorry, I wasn't paying attention. It's, uh, mostly in your hair."

Sharon sat up and patted around her hair until she found it and held it out so she could see. "That's okay. Ricky and Rusty probably won't be coming to bed for another half-hour or so, so I have time to rinse it out and take a shower." Andy followed her into the bathroom once they were both in their robes to help her get it out. Sharon got a comb and rinsed out as much as she could with cold water in the sink while Andy locked the other door. He stood beside her and helped her rinse her hair out, but some of it was stubborn. "Leave it to you to have stubborn semen," Sharon muttered. "It's only supposed to be this hard to get out when it's already dried."

"I'll take that as a compliment." Andy managed to comb out what was left and rinsed the handful of hair one more time. He wrapped the comb in toilet tissue and threw it away.

MCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMC

"Thank you. I need to wash my hair really quick." Sharon got in the shower and made quick work of working shampoo through her hair, spending extra time on the affected area. By the time she'd gotten out and completed her nighttime routine, Andy was snoring. Almost as soon as she had her robe on and unlocked the door to Ricky's and Rusty's room, Rusty was opening the door, wanting to get ready for bed. He looked at Sharon in confusion. "Why did you take another shower?"

"It was, um, a little smoky outside from Will and Maggie smoking, so I washed my hair again," she said lamely.

"It wasn't that bad, they were on the outside part of the porch. And you guys came in here, like, almost two hours ago."

"I just needed to wash it again." Sharon kissed his cheek. "Goodnight."

"'Night, Mom."

Sharon was tired, but she didn't want to go to bed with wet hair. The house seemed mostly silent, so she changed into her pajamas and took her hairdryer into the living room to dry her hair. By the time she finished, Anna was coming in with an unhappy Carter in her arms. She sat on the couch and started nursing him while she turned the TV on and scrolled through the channel listings. "You took another shower?" She asked when Sharon sat beside her.

"It was kind of smoky outside, and I didn't want to have to wash my hair again tomorrow before we leave." Good one!

Anna tilted her head. "I thought I heard you guys come in a couple of hours ago."

"I couldn't fall asleep, so that's when I decided to go ahead and take another shower." God, couldn't she give her husband a blowjob without having to play Twenty Questions afterward?

Anna shrugged and turned her attention to the TV, settling on Golden Girls. "I'd forgotten about this show, but it's usually on somewhere late at night when I get up with Carter. I don't remember it being so funny!"

"It is pretty funny. I can't believe they got away with saying some of these things in the eighties and early nineties. It gets a little risqué, for that time period, anyway."

Anna laughed. "The one where Blanche asked Dorothy what other electrical appliance she was using under her blanket if it wasn't her heating pad had me laughing for days! Ben thinks I'm crazy. I'm Netflixed and DVRed out after being stuck at home and up in the middle of the night for the last few weeks, though, and I needed something new to watch."

"Do you know how long you're going to nurse?" Sharon asked.

"As long as it's working for us," Anna answered. "It's nice to be able to just get up and feed him in the middle of the night and not have to warm up a bottle. He had jaundice when he was born, and the doctor had trouble getting it down, so I had to stop nursing for a few days so they could rule out my milk as the cause. Formula smelled so gross, and it's expensive, so I'm going to do it for a year if I can."

"I did the same thing with Ricky. I nursed Emily for whatever the recommended time was then, and I was relieved to stop. I didn't realize how convenient it could be or that I would miss it, so I stuck with it for a year with Ricky. Not having to buy formula was great."

"Traveling with it sucks, though," Anna commented. "Getting breastmilk through security was a nightmare."

"I didn't even think about that. What did you have to do?"

"I was pulled aside so they could test it. They put it in this thing that looks like a microwave and asked 800 questions. It took forever. I'm making sure he goes through his bottles before we leave, I'm not doing that again. I'm not throwing it out, either."

"Liquid gold. I know."

When Carter was finished eating, Sharon took him from Anna. "I'll change him and put him back to sleep. You look exhausted."

"Thank you. Good Night."

Once Anna was gone, Sharon changed Carter's diaper and zipped his pajamas back up. "You are too cute!" She cooed. "I don't want to leave you tomorrow. You'll be a big eight-month-old next time I see you!" He grinned up at her, but a few minutes later he was whimpering. "You ready to go back to sleep?" Sharon stood up and gently swayed back and forth until he was asleep. He was a lot easier to put to sleep than Emily or Ricky had thought about being at this age. The walking around and bouncing they required ended up being a workout. She held him for a few minutes after he fell asleep, then quietly laid him down in Ben's and Anna's room and went to bed.

The next morning, Sharon got up early, despite not going to bed until well after midnight. They had to leave for the airport soon after lunch, and she wanted to make the most of the last day. Her dad was the only other person up, so they got a cup of coffee and sat out on the porch. It had stopped snowing, but the ground was covered. With the lake and the mountains, she never got tired of this view. She turned the fire on and sat on one of the couches to share a blanket with her dad. "Have you thought anymore about retirement?" He asked. "I remember you mentioning that you were thinking about it a couple of months ago, but you haven't said anything about it since."

Sharon nodded. "There's been so much restructuring at the LAPD in the last few years, and I just don't agree with how some things are being handled anymore. I get so much more personal fulfillment with this job than I did in FID, and I've been telling myself that the politics don't matter. I think I'm ready to help the community in a different capacity, though. One that doesn't involve being put in dangerous situations and not being able to spend enough time with my family." While she'd gone into law enforcement knowing it involved these things at 22, she thought she'd more than put in her due time. There were definitely qualified people available to fill her shoes, and she had her own family to think about. A couple of dangerous situations in the last couple of years had made her start thinking about making sure she was there for her children and family for as long as she could, and getting herself out of a job that could be fatal was definitely a step in that direction. There were plenty of volunteer opportunities in LA that would need her more than the LAPD did.

"Well, I'll certainly sleep better at night," her dad agreed. "I know it's a hard decision, and I can understand why it's hard to step down. But, you're right, you can help others without needing a bulletproof vest. And on a more individual level. I'm sure there are some understaffed women's shelters or children's homes around LA that could use some extra hands and help with organization."

"I haven't thought about that, but volunteering has been on my mind. Our church does a lot in the community, I was going to start there and see where that goes. St. Joseph's could probably point me in the direction of another organization that needs some help."

Soon after lunch, Sharon, Andy, and all three children said their goodbyes and went to the airport. Emily had been able to get a one-way ticket on their same flight, and she and Ricky were both staying in LA until after the new year. Later that evening, when Sharon got home from her radiation treatment, they ate dinner. Everyone was tired from being away from home and traveling, so they'd just ordered a couple of pizzas. After dinner, Sharon got a glass of wine and sat on the couch a few minutes before Badge of Justice came on. She got her phone out of her purse, knowing she and Anna would be texting about the episode. A few minutes in, a 'goodbye video' from Sherry was being shown, and she said something about Nicky being her first-born. Damn writers couldn't even keep Nicky's and Amelia's birth order straight! Sharon opened her most recent text from Anna and saw dots at the bottom of the screen, meaning that Anna was already in the process of texting her. It was only a few seconds before her phone dinged. ‘WTF?! Amelia's older!’

‘I know! I was just about to text you! I know writers and cast members can't remember everything that's been said in every episode, but how hard would it have been to go back and watch the 3 episodes or read the scripts when Nicky and/or Amelia appeared?! I could give them a break if it had been said in an episode that they weren't in, but this is crazy!’

‘Did you watch Huff's fb chat?’

Sharon was confused. ‘What's a fb chat?’

‘Huff does a live q & a session on Facebook with another cast member before every episode. You should hear how he is defending killing off Sherry! 'May McDonald needed some extraordinary material to put her in awards contention.'

Hmm, so that's where Anna got all of that information on the show that Sharon didn't know about until she heard it from Anna. ‘What?! She's played a dying woman several times already! How is that extraordinary?!’

‘It gets worse. Huff 'didn't want May stuck in a dead show, so he killed her off as a favor so her availability would be known for other projects.'

Sharon shook her head as she furiously typed. ‘That's bullshit. What are those people called who do that for people? AGENTS. Why is he all of a sudden so worried about May McDonald, anyway?! I thought the reason there wasn't time to tell us anything about Sherry's character was because of the "ensemble cast!" Why is she suddenly the only cast member who deserves these "favors?"’

‘Exactly. Oh, and apparently the show being canceled by the network is a justification for some reason. That was the first thing he said! He knows we're pissed off, but he's just pissing me off even more with these excuses that don't make any sense. I wish he'd just say "I was angry at the network and let it affect my vision for this season" instead of pulling out this crap. How stupid does he think we are?!’

‘When is this "season we deserve" supposed to start, again? I've missed it somehow.’

After Sherry's two-minute funeral scene, Sharon texted Anna again. ‘Where is her family?! Huff kills her off, and can't even say anything about her parents or siblings? Or give her a proper send-off?’

‘I've been reading Twitter posts, and some people think she's not really dead because of how little sense all of this makes. Her death made no sense, Huff's excuses definitely made no sense, and that funeral was pathetic. There's no way to give us the "season we deserve" without bringing her back. Even if the Strom ending is really good, that won't make up for any of this for a lot of people.’

Sharon shook her head. ‘I wish, but Huff just seems angry about getting canceled. The other episodes this season haven't been nearly as good as the other seasons. I think he just threw a fit and didn't care anymore. At this point, I can't see him putting enough thought into rectifying the nightmare this season has been. Like you said, he just "took his toys and went home."’

A couple of minutes later, the DA who had Strom's case was killed in her pool, despite having a security detail. Not surprisingly, Sharon's phone dinged again. ‘Oh, come on! What was that scuba strom scene about! That wouldn't really happen, would it?’

Sharon texted back. ‘The LAPD's security detail officers are very thorough. Even the lower-quality ones. There's no way they would've missed Strom in her pool. This last season just feels like one long and badly-written joke.’

‘If I lived in LA and needed a security detail for some reason, I'd probably be like uh, thanks but no thanks after this episode!’

Sharon laughed as she put her phone down and continued watching the nonsense in front of her. Oh, well, at least it wasn't real life. She was alive and well and surrounded by the husband she was crazy about and all three of her healthy children.


	18. Chapter 18

On Wednesday morning, two days after Christmas, Sharon got up early, plugged in the Christmas tree lights, and started making breakfast. Their "home" Christmas tradition was similar to the Park City Christmas tradition in that it usually involved a big breakfast and, time permitting, a big dinner with a small snack/lunch somewhere in between. Sharon, Andy, and Emily were always the wild cards in this situation, and depending upon their respective schedules, this usually occurred before Christmas, as Emily and Ricky tended to come to LA right before Christmas, and then they would all go to Park City immediately after and likely stay through the new year. While the visit with her family had been cut short this time, Sharon couldn't complain. As scattered as they all were, they actually saw each other a good bit throughout the year, considering their circumstances. The addition of new babies in the last few years had increased the FaceTime contact, too.

Sharon sipped a mimosa and nibbled on some fresh fruit as she prepared breakfast. Ella Fitzgerald's Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas was playing from her phone. Emily was asleep on the couch, so her movements and the music were as quiet as possible. The music was upbeat and was probably the only version of that song she actually liked. She was standing at the counter and getting a breakfast casserole ready to put in the oven when she felt Andy's arms around her and a tender kiss being pressed to her cheek. "Hmm."

"Hmm, yourself." Andy held his face against the side of her head, inhaling the scent of her hair for a few moments. While Sharon put the casserole in the oven, he scrolled through the iTunes on her phone and changed the song to All Alone on Christmas.

"We're going to wake Emily up!" Sharon protested as Andy grabbed her hands and started dancing with her.

"She's sleeping like someone hit her in the head. I think it'll take more than a little dancing to wake her up." Andy was still careful to be as quiet as he could as he twirled Sharon around the kitchen.

Things are different since you've been here last  
Childhood dreaming is a thing of the past  
Maybe you can bring us some hope this year  
Visions of sugar plums have disappeared

Do you remember sleigh riding in the snow  
And dancing all night to 'Baby, Please Come Home'  
Today's celebration is bittersweet  
There's mothers and children in the street

I wanna know, where do lonely hearts go. Nobody ought to be all alone on Christmas.

They were soon interrupted by Ricky and Rusty. "Okay, I think you guys need to lay off The Big Chill," Ricky grumbled.

Rusty looked confused. "What's that?"

"This weird-ass movie from the eighties," Emily answered from the couch. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. "Mom loves it, but it's just weird. The dancing in the kitchen scene is probably the only not-crazy part in it."

"It's not weird!" Sharon insisted.

Emily rolled her eyes. "It's like Dirty Dancing. Without the good music, it wouldn't have been any good."

"No, it's like Forrest Gump," Sharon protested. "It's a good movie made better by the music."

"If you say so."

"Em, if you're still tired, you can go get in our bed," Sharon offered. "Breakfast will be ready in about an hour."

"I think I will." Emily yawned and stumbled toward the hall.

"What's up with Rip Van Wrinkle?" Ricky asked. "She's been lying around since she got to Park City."

"I don't know. Maybe she's not sleeping well." Sharon was starting to worry a little, but nothing really seemed to be wrong besides being a little more tired than normal. Emily just didn't seem to be herself.

"Hey, Sleeping Beauty!" Andy yelled a little while later when breakfast was ready. "Your brothers are going to leave you to starve if you don't get in here!"

"Coming." Emily shuffled back in and gratefully accepted a mug of coffee from Sharon.

After breakfast, they gathered in the living room to open gifts. "Em, I can take those back," Sharon said as Emily opened her new pointe shoes. "I bought those before I knew you were thinking about not renewing your contract." That had been part of her Christmas gifts since she was ten. They were expensive and wore out so quickly, and Sharon remembered Emily needing a new pair every time she turned around before she was on her own. Even if her current pair didn't need to be replaced yet, it was only a matter of time.

"No, that's okay. I'll still need them if I teach."

"Another gift? We were supposed to keep this small!" Sharon chided when she picked up a gift from Andy. The new watch and lavender cashmere sweater she'd gotten for him paled in comparison to the earrings he'd given her in Park City alone, not counting whatever this was. Not to mention that the sweater was more of a gift to herself than for him. God, she loved him in lavender.

"I couldn't resist." Andy pulled her closer to him and pressed a soft kiss to the side of her head. "After the last night in Park City, I'd say you're definitely ahead in the gift department," he whispered.

Sharon opened the gift, and her eyes lit up when she pulled out the deep purple cashmere cardigan she'd eyed a couple of weeks ago when they were finishing up their Christmas shopping. She didn't even realize he'd noticed when she turned back to look at it as they passed it. Andy had already opened the sweater she'd given him, and he grinned as she admired hers. "I think I know what we'll both be wearing our first day back at work. I can see Provenza sighing himself to death now."

Sharon nodded. "If anyone can accomplish death by means of sighing, it would be him." The first couple of times the color schemes of their work attire matched, it had been purely accidental, as Sharon and Andy hadn't even spent the night together the night before, but after seeing Provenza sigh heavily enough to necessitate small aircraft warnings and roll his eyes, they occasionally made a point to wear matching clothes just to get a reaction from him.

Once the breakfast and gift-opening mess was cleaned up, Sharon started a load of laundry and sat on the couch with her computer. She nor Andy had had much time to look in the last couple of months, but the cramped quarters of the condo with two extra guests had her scrolling through new real estate listings. The recent trip to Park City had caused her to add a big porch and outdoor fireplace to her list of requirements. The only problem with that was that most of the houses that fit that description would probably be larger than they needed, but she would try. Andy had gone to the gym, as he couldn't handle just sitting around for very long. Sharon usually couldn't, either, but fatigue from traveling and radiation made her more than happy to curl up on the couch without a damn thing to do. Rusty was studying for the LSAT in his room, and Ricky had left to see one of his college friends, so Sharon and Emily were left alone in the living room.

"I want to catch up on Badge of Justice, but after hearing you and Anna talk about it, I'm not sure if I want to keep watching or not," Emily said. "I've barely started the second season." Sharon had talked her into watching the first season over Thanksgiving.

"You'll like it. Just don't watch the last season. Watch until Sherry gets promoted to Commander, then just pretend that's the end. Nothing about the last season was good, even before Huff killed her off in a childish fit. You could tell he just didn't care about this season."

"But wasn't everyone so excited about her and that Randy guy getting married?"

Sharon nodded. "I never really was, though. I liked the relationship fine, but I was never that excited about it. It had no on-screen development, and it just seemed like the writers thought, 'hmm, Sherry should have a man at some point, but we don't really have the episode time or extra casting for that...Ooh, Randy's age-appropriate and single, let's just put them together!' And then they had five episodes to solve one murder, and the wedding still only got two minutes. I would've rathered her just stay single if 'fictional characters were going to need their privacy' and they were going to treat them like asexual robots who never argued or had to discuss difficult topics." (A/N: I'm not knocking Shandy, and I was never against the relationship, I just had a hard time getting excited about it. I know I'm in the minority, but I also know I'm not the only one with similar thoughts. And I thought it would be funny for Sharon to be indifferent about her parallel character's TV relationship :))

Emily got the remote and navigated through Sharon's Netflix until she reached the episode she was looking for. A couple of episodes later, Sharon closed her computer, as she hadn't had any luck. She'd thought that watching the older Badge of Justice episodes would've been too sad after recent events, but being reminded of the quality of the older episodes compared to the inferior episodes of the last season just made it easier to pretend like the last season was a poorly-written joke.

"Wait, I thought Bud was gay," Emily commented during an episode where he was talking abut a woman he was trying to date.

Sharon shook her head. "The actor is gay. They haven't said much about Bud's sexuality, but they haven't hinted that he's gay before."

Emily nodded. "Someone should tell the fans that. I was looking through old posts on the Facebook fan page, and someone said something about wanting Bud to have a girlfriend. At least ten people commented that he was gay. I didn't think that had been mentioned, or even hinted at, but there are still a lot of episodes I haven't seen."(A/N: I know Buzz never mentioned a specific woman of interest—this was inspired by a conversation with another writer about reviews she got on a story where she had Emily and Buzz dating, so I went back and added this tidbit really quick).

Later that evening, Sharon could smell dinner cooking from the hall when she got home from her radiation appointment. She and Andy had done most of the preparations before she left, and he had finished up and put it in the oven. She was surprised to find Emmett nervously standing by the condo door. "Emmett! Emily said you weren't coming!" Sharon exclaimed as she pulled him into a hug.

"I wasn't going to, because I've been so nervous around you guys since I decided to ask her to marry me," he admitted. "I know you haven't told anyone else, but I've been afraid that I would blow it, myself. I think she was getting a little annoyed, though, since I didn't come the weekend after Thanksgiving, and I knew you guys were doing Christmas dinner tonight, so I decided to surprise her."

Sharon gave him an amused look. "And you're still standing in the hallway because..."

"I didn't think this part through. I didn't really want to knock, since you guys probably weren't expecting anyone, and I started to call Emily, but I didn't really know what to say, so...Yeah. I'm still here."

"Are you off for the rest of the week?"

"Yes. The computer world is always a little slow right now, as I'm sure Ricky can tell you."

"I'm so glad you came!" Sharon unlocked the door and ushered him inside. She looked around for Emily and spotted her asleep on the couch. "I'll wake her up, she's been lying around all day."

Emmett shook his head. "That's okay. She's been tired. Can I help with dinner?"

Sharon shook her head. "It's just about ready. Do you want a drink? I think I bought some scotch when I thought you were coming after Thanksgiving."

"Yes, thanks. Wine is okay if you didn't." Emmett got a glass and took the scotch from Sharon. Drink in hand, he sat in one of the chairs and started talking computers with Ricky, as they always did when they were in the same room.

"It's bad enough to have a computer nerd for a brother, I can't believe I'm dating one by choice," Emily mumbled a few minutes later. Her eyes shot open when she realized that she wasn't expecting Emmett to be there. "Emmett! When did you get here?! You said you weren't coming!"

"I decided to surprise you." He gave her a light peck on the lips.

"Please, Emmett, Mom and Andy swap spit in front of us all the time." Emily pulled him back for a deeper kiss.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Emmett asked a few moments later. "You can't blame being tired on me, you've had your own bed for a few nights, now. You still look wiped."

"Oh, god, is she a bed nazi, too?" Andy asked. "I'm just waiting for Sharon to put a line of barbed wire down the middle of our bed. But when her feet get cold, it's suddenly okay to cross the line and press them against me. Or when she's sick and has chills, she can be practically on top of me with her snotty nose and cough all over me."

"That's called compromise, honey," Sharon said from the kitchen. "Sometimes the line can be crossed, and sometimes it can't."

"It's not a compromise when I have no say in it!" Andy protested.

Sharon looked at Emily. "Is he still whining?"

Emily shrugged. "I tuned them both out."

"Ricky, please go tell Rusty dinner's ready. He probably has his earbuds in," Sharon requested as she poured a glass of wine for herself.

After dinner, Emmett stayed for a while before going to his aunt's and uncle's house for the night. "I'm sorry we don't have more room," Sharon apologized. "You're always welcome here, but—"

"No, it's fine," Emmett interrupted. "I like being able to spend time with my aunt and uncle when I come here, and I know having five people share one bathroom is hard enough." He gave Sharon a hug and kissed Emily. "Good Night, you guys. See you tomorrow."


	19. Chapter 19

The following Tuesday morning, Sharon and Andy both went back to work. Sharon got up soon after 5:00 and sat on the balcony with a mug of coffee to enjoy the morning before getting ready for work. A new month, and especially a new year, always meant extra paperwork, so she was going to work earlier than usual to try to get through what she could before the distraction of everyone else coming in. As convenient as her condo was, she missed having her morning coffee beside the pool and hearing birds chirping. Emily and Ricky had left the day before, on New Years Day. Despite having less chaos, she missed them like crazy already. It was too quiet. The previous Friday, Emily had made the final decision not to renew her contract, and Sharon couldn't be happier about it. Emmett's and her lease on their apartment would end in March, so they were staying in New York until then so they could take their time packing and tying up loose ends. Sharon was going to miss attending Emily's performances, but she was thrilled about having her daughter back in the same time zone in the near future.

When Sharon got to work, she looked around the empty murder room. She liked being the first to arrive, but before Patrice was in the picture, Provenza had made that a difficult task. With retirement on her mind, she was feeling nostalgic. So much had happened here. It wasn't the sad or disturbing moments that came to mind, though. It was mostly the funny ones. She could almost see Rusty and his crutches the day he'd come in looking for Brenda, sulking and angry. Her eyes met Provenza's chair next, and she couldn't count how many times either an unknowing person or a knowing person trying to get a rise out of him had sat in his chair, just to be rewarded with a bellowing "get out of my chair!" She giggled to herself as she remembered Commander McGinnis sitting in it once and Provenza's annoyance that she was someone he couldn't tell to get up. She'd just been waiting to see steam coming out of his ears as she choked back her own laughter.

Provenza's occasional nicknames for various parties to investigations came to mind next. Limp Dick, a witness named Richard who had a limp, had definitely been the best. It took them about three weeks to solve that murder, but even on the final day, Provenza couldn't utter that name without the entire murder room laughing. She'd created relationships in this room that never would've happened in FID. She'd gotten along with her former team well enough, but none of them had ever held a fierce loyalty for her the way her current team did. If she hadn't been transferred to Major Crimes, she wouldn't have a third child or probably even a partner, much less a husband, right now. Six years ago, although retirement wasn't really on her radar, she just assumed it would be the next big change in her life. Her children were grown, and she had no interest in dating seriously or marriage. She maintained close contact with her family and had good friends, and she was happy enough. Her early days running Major Crimes with a new and sullen teenager wreaking havoc on the routine and order of her life and a team consisting of mostly resentful detectives with a side of a suck-up had been a struggle, but it had evolved into a situation where she was the happiest she'd been in a long time. She and Rusty found their rhythm and started to grow fond of one another, her team's loyalty slowly shifted from Brenda to herself, and it was hard to imagine life without a teenager under her roof and working on the ninth floor every day.

Once in her office, Sharon placed her purse in the bottom drawer of her desk and opened her blinds. She always liked to begin her morning by looking out the window for a couple of minutes to center herself and prepare for the day ahead of her. The view from her office in FID had mostly been another building. She got a couple of hours' worth of work done before the others started trickling in, and she went out to the murder room to catch up with everyone after the holidays for a few minutes. As suspected, Provenza sighed nearly hard enough to knock her off balance and rolled his eyes so forcefully that she was briefly afraid they'd get stuck that way when she sat on Andy's desk. As planned, she was wearing her gray skirt and new purple cardigan, and he was wearing gray pants and the lavender sweater she'd given him.

Around noon, Sharon got a text from Andrea, asking if she was free for lunch. She'd planned to order something in and work through lunch, but whatever paperwork she didn't get through today could wait. Andrea met Sharon in front of PAB so they could walk down the block to eat. It was a nice day, so they opted to sit outside. While they were waiting for their food, Andrea spotted Fritz and Brenda walking down the opposite side of the street, presumably getting lunch themselves. "Too bad he's stuck with Brenda," Andrea commented. "I bet he'd be a good screw."

Sharon followed Andrea's eyes until her gaze fell on Fritz and Brenda and hummed disinterestedly. "You'd think."

Andrea's eyes widened. "Sharon! Did you..."

Sharon shrugged. "He didn't take off his watch or his socks. It was weird. And he kept scraping me in awkward places with his watch."

"When did this happen?!"

"It was years ago. I think Ricky was in middle school the first time. We dated off and on for a few years after that, and we actually started to get a little serious toward the end. I was even thinking about going through with divorcing Jack and telling Emily and Ricky about him, but then..."

"What?" Andrea prompted.

"She moved to L.A. Waltzed right in as deputy chief, thanks to sleeping with Pope, and then Fritz was history. I think they dated when they both lived in D.C., and once he knew she was in L.A., it was over. He didn't tell me there was someone else, but I could tell." Sharon took a sip of water. "I didn't realize it was Brenda until a couple of years later, though."

"I'm sorry. I had no idea. His loss. Can you imagine being in bed with her?!"

Sharon wrinkled her nose. "I'd rather not. We're eating soon, you know."

"Ohhhhh, Fritzy!" Andrea continued in a high-pitched voice. "Rat they-ure! Dawn't stahp!" She drawled in an admittedly good impression of Brenda.

Sharon laughed helplessly. "If I have nightmares tonight, I'm blaming you. Oh, god, I have a very unwelcome image right now."

They changed the subject and chatted for a while before Andrea came back to Fritz. "His watch and his socks?! Really?" Sharon nodded. "Okay, he just lost a couple of syllables."

Sharon looked confused. "What?"

"One of the women in my office said she can't see him without thinking 'damn,' and she said she always puts at least three syllables in it when she thinks it," Andrea explained. "He's too hot for a monosyllabic 'damn.'"

"Yeah, but he's not hot enough for wearing his socks in bed not to be weird as hell."

"Amen, sister."

By the time Sharon got home that evening, her long day of work and her radiation treatment were making themselves known. As she approached her condo door, she realized she hadn't even thought about dinner. Andy nor Rusty had called her to talk about it, so she hoped that meant one of them had cooked. Or maybe they weren't even home. She had no idea. She hadn't paid attention to whether their cars were in their spots. She sighed in relief when she opened the door and smelled lasagna. She wasn't that hungry and wouldn't have been able to name anything specific she wanted for dinner, but lasagna was going to hit the spot. She slipped out of her heels and set her purse down before walking into the kitchen. Rusty looked up from the stove when she came in. "Hey, Mom."

"Hi, honey." Sharon kissed his cheek. "How was your day?"

"Boring. I've even been dreaming about those damn practice tests."

"You only have a few weeks left." Rusty was taking the LSAT in February, and he'd temporarily stopped working for Andrea so he could study. Sharon put the linens from her bed in the washing machine and came back into the kitchen, eyeing the lasagna Rusty had just taken out of the stove. "This looks great."

"The real one is on the left, and Andy's fake crap is on the right."

Sharon laughed. "Thanks, honey." Her eating habits were somewhere in between Rusty's mostly-meat diet and Andy's vegetarian regimen. Appetite-wise, she was much more like Rusty, but she'd grown to like some of the vegetarian dishes Andy had introduced her to, and she tried to eat healthily for the most part. Unfortunately, what she wanted to eat and what she knew she should eat for her health were usually entirely different. With lasagna, though, she usually went with the real thing. "Is Andy home yet?"

"Yeah, he's in the shower."

"Let me change clothes, and then we can eat." Sharon was pulling a t-shirt over her head when Andy came out of the bathroom in sweatpants and a t-shirt with wet hair. God, she loved him fresh out of the shower. She tilted her head up for him to kiss her, but he was too busy grumbling about Chief Mason's visit with them earlier that day.

"Mason has lost his damn mind! He needs to keep the FBI out of our hair, not make it easier for them to take our cases from us!"

"He'll realize it's not a good idea. And if he doesn't, Pope will intervene," Sharon assured him, tilting her head up again.

"Why is he trying to kiss their ass, anyway?!"

"I don't know, Andy," Sharon answered, still patiently waiting for her kiss. Thinking he was done with his diatribe, she lifted her head toward him yet again.

"He's creating more annoyance for us and more work for himself! He—"

"Would you stop whining for half of a second and kiss me?" Sharon finally interrupted him.

"Oh! Sorry." Andy lightly cupped her cheek with his hand and gently kissed her. Sharon lay against his shoulder for a few moments, breathing in the fresh-out-of-the-shower scent she loved so much. Andy wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on top of her head. He was tempted to ask her if she was okay, but he didn't want the moment ruined with an exasperated sigh, so he held her in silence for a couple of minutes until hunger won out and they went to the kitchen for dinner.

"I'll clean up," Rusty offered when they finished eating. "I'm not exactly in a hurry to start studying again."

"Thanks, honey." Sharon was a little cold, so she took a bath and put her pajamas on before she curled up on the couch and navigated through her Netflix for Grace and Frankie. It was almost time for Badge of Justice, but she wasn't in the mood for more personal background of a serial killer she couldn't care less about. Especially since the main character's personal background had been blatantly ignored for the entire series before she was killed off in a way that made no sense and added nothing to the show. The writing had clearly gone to hell, and she had no patience for it at the moment. She'd been watching Grace and Frankie for a couple of weeks, now, and it was hilarious. And actually acknowledged the sexuality of older women, unlike some other shows she could think of. Sharon was cackling helplessly during the scene where they were talking about selling vibrators for post-menopausal women and their children were getting grossed out.

Rusty was studying at the dining room table and had his earbuds in, but he looked up and took them out when he heard Sharon shriek with laughter. Just in time to hear 'older women masturbate, too.' "Oh, my god! Mom! What the hell are you watching?!"

Sharon rolled her eyes. "Grow up, Rusty."

Andy looked a little disgusted, as well. "I don't know, the kid has a point. I could've done without the descriptions and the genital tissue talk."

"Keep it up, and that's not all you'll be going without," Sharon muttered.

"Hey, Rusty, your mom's right," Andy quickly amended. "You're acting like she's watching porn or something."

"It might as well be," Rusty grumbled. "That's disgusting."

Sharon gave Andy a look. "Nice save." She turned her attention back to the TV and got restless after a while. She wasn't tired enough to want to stay on the couch and do nothing, but she was too tired to do much else. She hated this in-between level of tired. She finally pulled her computer out to work for a little bit as she hadn't gotten as far as she'd hoped that day. She could probably finish up what she needed to get done in less than an hour, so she decided to go ahead and get it done.

"It's okay to rest," Andy gently pointed out.

"I don't want to," Sharon muttered. She quickly got through what she needed to, closed her computer, moved the sheets from the washing machine to the dryer, and stretched out on the couch.

"Am I in your way?" Andy asked, amused as Sharon moved her head against his leg, trying to get comfortable. It took her a few moments to find the perfect spot, and he started gliding his fingers through her hair when she settled down.

"Hmm," Sharon murmured. She loved for someone's hands to be in her hair.

"Do you want a pillow?"

"No, this is good." A couple of episodes later, Sharon was about to fall asleep, so she told Andy and Rusty goodnight and got ready for bed. She groaned as she left the bathroom, remembering that the sheets were still in the dryer, but she saw that the bed was made up when she reached it. Andy. That must've been what he was doing when he got off of the couch a few minutes ago. God bless the man. She had an extra set of sheets in her closet, but she loved sheets fresh out of the dryer. Andy still hovered over her a little too much sometimes, but doing small things like this just so she wouldn't have to made up for it. He wasn't very nurturing by nature, which was one of the things that had initially attracted her to him. She'd never liked men who doted over her and wanted to do seemingly every little thing for her. Unfortunately, that had often led her to be attracted to assholes. Not being attentive enough had been one of Sandra's complaints, so Andy had majorly overcompensated for his lack of nourishing qualities with Sharon. It had taken a while for him to understand that she preferred her independence and didn't need the attention Sandra required. He'd nearly driven her mad the first time she got sick after they started dating, which had surprised her. She'd figured he would do things for her when she asked, but she hadn't expected the infuriating hovering. He'd gotten a lot better about it, and Sharon had gotten better about letting him take care of her when she didn't feel well, so while he still annoyed her sometimes, they were finding their balance.

Sharon had just slipped between the sheets when she remembered that she meant to grab some Tylenol before she went to bed. She'd had a slight headache for most of the afternoon, and her throat was starting to hurt, but she was too tired to get back up. She drowsily got her rosary out of her nightstand drawer and quickly went through the prayer ritual before falling asleep. She woke up a little while later having to pee, but she was miserably cold and didn't want to get out of bed. Her throat was a little more sore, and she realized her nose and chest felt congested. Fantastic. Screw older age for making her have to get up to pee twice a night and for making illness hurt worse than it used to. She reluctantly pulled herself out of bed to go to the bathroom, but the kitchen seemed much too far to be worth the glass of water or medicine she wanted. She climbed back in bed and spooned herself behind Andy, not caring that she knew he'd tease her for breaking her own rule and for getting snot on his t-shirt once she was feeling better.

The next morning, Andy was pleased at first when he felt Sharon snuggled behind him, but the abnormal warmth against the back of his t-shirt reminded him that it probably meant she was sick. She woke herself up coughing as he turned around to face her, and her bleary eyes told him that his instinct had been correct. "You're not feeling well?" He asked unnecessarily as he brushed her hair back from her face.

"Nuh-uh." Sharon shivered and tightened the covers around herself.

Andy leaned down and kissed her forehead. He didn't think she felt terribly warm, but he wasn't as good with the temperature thing as she was. "I'll be right back." He went to the kitchen for the thermometer, medicine, and a glass of water. Sharon hadn't moved when he got back to their room, so he sat beside her and pulled the covers down just enough to slip the thermometer into her mouth.

"Don't feel that bad," Sharon mumbled. Her symptoms really weren't that bad. The worst part was how heavy her whole body felt. Otherwise, she probably could've had a cozy day on the couch with a little bit of work ahead of her. Getting out of bed wasn't happening, though.

Andy was relieved when her temperature was a little less than 101, but she looked miserable. "You got a flu shot, didn't you? Your temperature's not that high, but—"

"It's not the flu," Sharon interrupted. She couldn't explain it, but she'd had the flu enough times to know when she had it. "I just need to rest for a couple of days. I'll be fine." She gratefully took the cold tablets and glass of water from Andy when he offered them to her and pushed her hair away from her face. Andy got a hair tie and one of the elastic headbands she used to keep her hair out of her face when she was exercising or doing housework and gently pulled her hair into a ponytail for her. Once her hair was pulled back, he placed the headband around her neck, slowly positioned it around her hairline to keep stray locks of hair out of the way, and softly pressed his lips to her forehead. "Hmm. Thanks," she murmured. She emailed in that she was taking a sick day from her phone and went back to sleep. She had no idea how much time had passed when she felt Andy lifting her sweatshirt and heard him speaking into the phone. She looked at the clock on her nightstand and saw that it was 8:30.

"It doesn't look infected, but it's hard to tell. She's already red and swollen..." Andy turned the phone around and rested it against his shoulder. "Have you been—"

"Yes, I've been cleaning it every day," Sharon answered irritably.

"I know, but I was told to ask." Andy talked for a few more minutes before hanging up the phone. "I called the radiation oncology center to see what you should do about your appointment this evening, and they said you can still go. I'll come take you—"

"No, Andy, you don't need to miss your meeting. Rusty can probably take me. I haven't seen much of him this week, anyway."

"All right..." Andy leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "I love you. Call me if you start feeling worse or want me to make a doctor's appointment for you. Rusty's awake, and he's going to study here today, so text him or call out for him when you need something."

"'Kay. Love you," Sharon murmured. By the time Andy was gone, she had to pee again, so she dragged herself to the bathroom. Knowing she had a good bit of coughing and sneezing ahead of her, she put a pad in, as that often involved a little bit of involuntary pee at some point. She went back to sleep and felt a little better when she woke up again, so she got her bed pillow and ventured into the living room.

Rusty looked up from his perch at the dining room table as she settled on the couch with her favorite blanket. "You want some tea?"

"Yes, please." Sharon turned the TV on and started scrolling through the guide.

"Hey, Mom? What do you put in here when I'm sick?" Rusty asked when her tea was ready. "Honey, lemon, and..."

"Cinnamon," Sharon supplied.

"That's right. I can never remember that part." Sharon hardly ever got sick, so Rusty had only made it for her a couple of times. She'd made it for him a lot more than he'd made it for her. He prepared the tea and sat beside her on the couch.

"Hmm, the Gammy Special. Thanks, honey."

Rusty looked confused. "Who's Gammy? I thought Mimi made this."

"Gammy was my grandmother. We were supposed to call her 'grandma,' but when I started talking, it came out 'Gammy,' and it just stuck...have I never told you this?" Rusty shook his head. He'd heard her talk about her grandmother before, but he'd never heard her refer to her as 'Gammy.' "Mimi worked when we were growing up and couldn't always stay home with us when we were sick, so Gammy would come over if Mimi couldn't miss work. I mean, she could've if she had to, but with Gammy being nearby, Mimi would just ask her to come over if she had a lot going on at work." Sharon paused and took a sip of tea. "Gammy usually showed up at some point when she knew one of us was sick, anyway. There's nothing quite like having your grandmother with you when you're sick."

Rusty gave her a disbelieving look. "Mom. You're pretty damn good at the 'sick' thing. And not just because the other Sharon sucked at it."

Sharon smiled. "High praise, indeed. I think Gammy seemed so much better because I had her undivided attention. She wasn't worried about other children or what she was missing at work when she stayed with me. Emily and Ricky had Jack's parents nearby when they were younger, so they didn't completely miss out on that, but I wish my parents had been nearby, too."

"Wait, Jack had parents? I mean, parents that you saw a lot?"

Sharon nodded. "They lived in Orange County. There were times when I don't know what I would've done without them. I think the good relationship I had with them was partly why I kept allowing Jack to come back home after he'd disappear for months at a time. My LAPD salary couldn't exactly keep up with the mortgage for the house Jack's attorney salary had allowed us to buy, and they helped me out when I couldn't quite make ends meet. My parents paid for most of Emily's and Ricky's tuition at St. Joseph's, knowing I wouldn't be able to, and they would've helped me out more if they had known, but I could never bring myself to ask."

Rusty had seen pictures of Sharon's old house, and he'd always wondered how she'd managed to keep paying for it once Jack was gone. He had no idea how much money she made, but he knew it couldn't be a whole lot, especially when she had a lower rank. He couldn't imagine her asking for help, either, though. "But you didn't mind asking Jack's parents?"

"I never had to. They'd come over every now and then to spend time with Emily and Ricky, and they always bought groceries, would take them shopping for clothes sometimes, and would have something fixed when it needed it so I could pay for other things and keep a little nest egg in savings. I had to borrow against my retirement a couple of times, and I think they suspected I'd had to do something like that and wanted to prevent it from happening again. They did it in a way that didn't make it seem like pity, and I know they felt guilty about Jack's behavior, even though it wasn't their fault. I think it made them feel better to help me out." Sharon took another sip of tea. "I didn't blame them at all for Jack being an ass, but his behavior made it easier for me to accept help from his parents than from my own."

Rusty nodded. "I guess that makes sense...So if both of your parents had all this money, then why did you guys have to pay for your own law school? I mean, I know you liked your job and decided not to go, but you still had to pay for Jack's, and I know you put it off so he could start working and pay for yours."

"Well, Jack and I had just gotten engaged when it was time to start applying for law school, so my parents had my wedding and two more years of Aunt Kate's college tuition to pay for. Uncle William was a senior in high school and about to go to college, too, so I just couldn't justify even discussing law school with my parents. And Jack's parents didn't want us getting married so soon. Not because of me, but because they didn't think Jack was mature enough yet." Sharon rolled her eyes. "They had a point, I guess. They told him they would pay for law school if we waited until he graduated to get married, but we were 22 and thought we knew it all, so we figured it out for ourselves." 

Sharon turned back to the TV to find something to watch and saw that The Big Chill was about to start. It was pouring rain outside, and this was a perfect rainy-day movie. The only time she had the patience to sit and watch a whole movie was when she was sick or abnormally tired for some reason. "Can you take a break? The Big Chill is about to come on, and you can tell Emily and Ricky it's not weird."

"Yeah. My eyes were starting to cross. Do you want something to eat first?"

Sharon shook her head. "Not right now. Maybe later."

"There's soup cooking on the stove. Let me know when you're hungry."

"Thank you. That sounds great."

They started watching the movie, and it didn't take long for Rusty to start complaining. "This movie pretty much starts with a funeral?! I think Emily and Ricky were right. This seems weird."

"It's not!" Sharon insisted. She started to sing along with the movie.

Ooh-ooh, I bet you're wonderin' how I knew  
'Bout your plans to make me blue  
With some other guy you knew before  
Between the two of us guys  
You know I loved you more  
It took me by surprise I must say  
When I found out yesterday  
Don't you know that I heard it through the grapevine  
Not much longer would you be mine  
Oh I heard it through the grapevine  
Oh I'm just about to lose my mind

Honey, honey yeah  
I heard it through the grapevine  
Not much longer would you be mine baby

I know a man ain't supposed to cry  
But these tears I can't hold inside  
Losin' you would end my life you see  
'Cause you mean that much to me  
You could have told me yourself  
That you loved some one else  
Instead I heard it through the grapevine  
Not much longer would you be mine

A little while later, Rusty actually seemed interested in the movie. "Okay, I guess I get why you like it. I mean, their friend dying was sad, but it's kind of cool that this group of college friends has this weekend to hang out together and catch up because of him."

"Mm-hmm," Sharon vaguely agreed. "Ooh, I forgot about this song!"

I pulled into Nazareth, was feeling 'bout half past dead  
I just need some place where I can lay my head  
Hey, mister, can you tell me, where a man might find a bed?  
He just grinned and shook my hand, "No" was all he said.

Take a load off Fanny, take a load for free  
Take a load off Fanny, and you put the load right on me

Later in the movie, Sharon realized she'd forgotten about the part where one of the main characters offered her husband to her friend who wanted to have a baby without having an actual relationship with a man. She couldn't remember the last time she'd sat down and watched this movie all the way through. Maybe Emily and Ricky were right, it was a weird movie that happened to have a good soundtrack. Rusty gave Sharon an incredulous look when the movie got to the part where it was obvious they'd gone through with the offer. "Did they just..."

"I'd forgotten about that part," she admitted.

Rusty wrinkled his nose. "'Weird as hell' doesn't even begin to cover that."

"I guess you're right...But don't you dare tell Emily or Ricky I said that."

"Your secret is safe with me."

Rusty drove Sharon to her radiation appointment that evening, and Sharon went straight for the couch when they got back. Rusty brought her a bowl of soup and a glass of juice. "Do you want a grilled cheese?"

Sharon shook her head. "Thanks, darling."

Rusty shrugged. "Seeing you break your own rules is worth it."

Sharon scowled at him. "You're funny."

Rusty made a grilled cheese and a bowl of soup for himself and joined Sharon on the couch. "Your grilled cheeses are better," he commented as he ate his sandwich.

"Honey. You make them exactly the same way I do."

"I know, but yours are still better."

Sharon smiled. "Emily and Ricky say the same thing." Rusty took her bowl from her when she was finished and loaded the dishwasher. She'd started feeling worse sometime that afternoon, and she lay down on the couch and was almost asleep when she heard Andy come in. She didn't have the energy to get up and greet him, but she soon sensed him standing over her and felt him kiss her forehead.

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

"Not bad," she mumbled.

"Uh-huh. You feel a little warmer than you did this morning. What did the doctor say?"

Sharon normally only saw her oncologist on Mondays for a weekly update of the progression of her treatment, but he'd come in to examine her at the beginning of her appointment since she wasn't feeling well. "Exactly what I told you the fourth time you texted me this morning. It's probably viral, but I should see my regular doctor if I don't improve in a couple of days. The kind of radiation I'm getting doesn't affect my immune system, and I'm not so sick that I shouldn't get out of bed, so I can still go to my scheduled appointments."

"But I think your fever went up—"

"I'm fine."

"Okay, okay."

Sharon was vaguely aware of Andy heating up leftover lasagna from the night before and asking Rusty about their day as she drifted in and out of sleep. Andy brought her some medicine and a glass of water a couple of hours later, and she swallowed the pills and went to the bathroom to get ready for bed. When she came back into the bedroom, she saw that Andy had made the bed and turned it back down. She'd been too tired to make it that morning, but she couldn't stand to get into an unmade bed at night. "Thanks, honey."

"You're welcome. I'm sorry you're feeling so bad." Sharon sighed in contentment as Andy straightened the covers over her and tucked her in. She didn't feel like he was being patronizing or treating her like she couldn't take care of herself. She just felt cared for, and it was a nice feeling. She felt a lot better by the weekend, and she returned to work on Monday, feeling almost back to normal.

A couple of weeks later, Sharon's radiation treatments were complete, and she'd been given a clean bill of health. She, Andy, Ricky, and Rusty arrived in New York one Thursday evening in the middle of January to celebrate Ricky's 31st birthday and the end of Sharon's treatments, but only Sharon knew that they'd also be celebrating an engagement, if all went well. They were sitting in the bar of the hotel where they were staying for the weekend, waiting for Emily and Emmett to arrive. Sharon was about to burst with the news, so she slowly made her way to the bar and took her time ordering a beer for Ricky and a glass of wine for herself. "Here, honey. Happy Birthday."

"I can't believe I'm about to be in my thirties," Ricky whined.

Sharon briefly panicked and did some quick mental math and was relieved to realize that her middle child was, in fact, already thirty and soon to be thirty-one. "Honey. I think you crossed that bridge last year when you turned thirty."

"No, Mom," Ricky explained patiently. "Thirty is just thirty. It's its own age. You're not officially 'in your thirties' until thirty-one."

"Oh, dear god," Rusty muttered. "That's some impressive denial."

Emily and Emmett finally arrived a few minutes later, all smiles. "Emmett asked me to marry him," Emily announced as they entered the lobby.

Sharon jumped out of her seat, not caring that she'd spilled wine all over the place, and pulled Emily into a hug. "And?!" She asked expectantly.

Emily bit her bottom lip. "Well, first I told him I was pregnant, and when he didn't turn around and run, I said yes."

"Oh, my god!" Sharon hugged Emily again, then hugged Emmett. After everyone else followed suit and the requisite 'congratulations' were said, they gathered their things to go eat. "Wait a minute, I thought you had an IUD?" Sharon said. "I'm not complaining one bit, but how did this happen?"

Rusty looked confused. "What's an IUD?"

Ricky rolled his eyes. "You don't want to know. It involves the word 'uterine.'"

Rusty's complexion took on a slightly green hue. "Ewwwww! Mom!"

"It somehow fell out at some point," Emily explained, ignoring her brothers who clearly needed to grow up. "I didn't even tell Emmett until after I went to the doctor this morning, because if you get pregnant with an IUD, it's usually an ectopic pregnancy. They couldn't find the IUD, though, and everything looked good, so the baby should be okay."


	20. Chapter 20

Sharon looped her arm through Emily's as they walked down the block for dinner. "Have you guys talked about a date? What are you thinking? L.A.? Do you want to use the church—"

"Hey, Mom, I just got a fiancé and a fetus in the same day," Emily interrupted with a smile. "I'm a little overwhelmed." She gave Sharon a suspicious look. "You didn't seem that surprised about the engagement."

"Oh, I've known about that for a couple of months. Now that I can finally talk about it, I—"

"You have?" Andy gave her an incredulous look. "You never said a word!"

Sharon nodded. "Emmett said 'don't tell anyone,' so I didn't tell anyone."

Emily snorted. "What, did he, like, call you to ask your permission or something?"

Emmett shrugged. "Well, your mom seems a little old-fashioned—"

"You have no idea," Andy muttered. Sharon elbowed him in the ribs. "Ouch!"

"It was sweet," Sharon spoke up in Emmett's defense. "We're still negotiating your dowry, but—"

Emily rolled her eyes. "Oh, good lord."

"How far along are you?" Sharon asked.

"About seven weeks. I skipped my last two periods—"

"Ewww, we're about to eat!" Rusty whined.

"Get over it, baby brother. I skip periods a lot because of ballet," Emily said in Rusty's direction, "so I didn't think much of it when I skipped a couple of periods. I've been a little nauseous a few mornings in the last couple of weeks, but I never got sick, and it went away after I ate something. I bought a test just to make sure, but I still didn't really think I was pregnant. Baby Baker will be here at the beginning of September, though!" Emily gave Rusty an evil look. "And then I'll start getting periods again—"

"Mo-om, make her stop!"

"You're lucky it's only Emily," Ricky spoke up. "Before she went to college, I had to hear it from her and Mom all the time." Ricky shuddered. "Em'll get graphic about it in a heartbeat."

"Emily always started it!" Sharon clarified. "And by the time she wasn't too shy to talk about it in front of anyone besides me, you were too old for us to shield you from it, anyway."

"As interesting as this conversation is, we're here," Andy said, nodding at the restaurant where they had reservations.

"So, how is this going to work?" Sharon asked once they were seated. "You'll need to be established with a doctor in L.A. before long."

"I told my doctor I was moving, and he said I should try to be in L.A. before I'm twenty weeks," Emily answered. "Emmett's aunt and uncle will probably let us live with them until we find a house, but I hope we don't have to do that for too long."

"I hope we'll find a house before then, and you guys can stay with us," Sharon said.

"Thanks, Mom, but you hate cats. You know I'm bringing Petey with me."

"Petey?!" Andy couldn't help but exclaim. He knew Emily had a cat, but he'd never heard his name before now.

"For Pete Carroll," Sharon and Ricky explained in unison.

Andy's face was twisted in confusion for a few moments while he tried to recall the significance of the vaguely familiar name. "Wait, you named a cat after one of USC's old football coaches?"

"He was still at USC when I got Petey," Emily defended herself.

"You just think I'm obsessed with football. I've been trying to tell you that Emily's so much worse," Sharon spoke up. "And I think I can make my peace with a cat since I'll have a grandchild soon! And because it means we'll be on the same coast again, of course."

Rusty rolled his eyes. "Oh, god, Mom's going to be sappy as crap for the next few months."

"That'll just be the beginning of 'sappy as crap,' kid," Andy added.

The rest of the weekend was more laid-back than usual. On Sunday evening, Sharon was unpacking when she heard a suitcase lid slam and Rusty scream for her. "Mom! Come here!"

Sharon rushed through the bathroom and across the hall to Rusty's room. "What's the matter? Rusty?!"

"Look what your daughter did." Rusty lifted his suitcase lid to show Sharon its contents. There were a few tampons scattered over his clothes. Sharon laughed helplessly. Emily must've managed to do that while they were at her apartment for the couple of hours between checking out of their hotel and having to leave for the airport. "This isn't funny, Mom, it's disgusting!"

"For heaven's sake, Rusty, they won't bite." Sharon began to gather them in her hand.

"What are you going to do with them?!" Rusty still looked horrified.

"Hold on to them and slip them into your bed or pockets of your pants when you aren't looking," Sharon deadpanned. "My god, Rusty, I'm going to take them to work and add them to the ones I already keep there...For Amy and Cami," she clairified when his expression turned more confused. "It's not like Emily will need them for a while."

"You have to, like, give them that stuff?" Rusty asked.

"No, but I know how easy it is to use the last one in your purse and forget to replace them, then get stuck at work without anything, so I keep some in the break room for when they need them." Sharon remembered how sparsely equipped the break room had been in general when she took over Major Crimes. There hadn't been a woman besides Brenda in the division in a couple of years, so the lack of spare tampons wasn't a surprise, but there wasn't even any kind of medicine or basic first aid equipment or anything for day-to-day small injuries or mild pain. Brenda looked out for Brenda and no one else, there was no question about that. The break room supply budget had probably been mostly untouched for anything besides coffee and paper towels during her tenure.

"I'm about to start a load of laundry, so put your dirty clothes in the hall." Sharon turned to leave the room. As long as Rusty folded his own clothes, she didn't mind otherwise doing his laundry from time to time.

"Wait, make sure there's nothing else in here first."

Sharon sighed as she started sifting through Rusty's suitcase, but the exasperated sigh soon turned to giggles. Emily had gotten him pretty good. There were tampons in his shoes, pants pockets, toiletry case, and pretty much any other nook or cranny where one would fit. "There. Now you're all safe from the big bad tampons."

"Thank you." Rusty was completely oblivious to the fact that she was making fun of him.

"Should I check under your bed for monsters now?" Sharon couldn't help but ask.

"You're funny, Mom."

Sharon started a load of laundry and went out to the balcony with her phone and a glass of wine. She settled in one of the lounge chairs and tapped out a text message to Emily. ‘I just had to de-tampon Rusty's suitcase. Do you happen to know anything about that?’

‘Who, me?’ Was Emily's innocent response.

‘Yes, you, rotten child.’

‘You seriously got them out for him? You can't coddle the kid his whole life!’

Sharon rolled her eyes. ‘That sure is big talk coming from someone who had the flu over Christmas at 25 and took advantage of the coddling of a mother, aunts and uncles, and grandparents!’

‘Stop, Mom, you're getting off topic.’

The following Tuesday, Sharon was watching an interview with her remaining team as Mike and Provenza interviewed a person of interest and Cami entertained the woman's three-year-old daughter, Maddie, in the murder room. She had seen enough of the interview to confirm her intuition that the woman shouldn't be under suspicion, but that she probably had some information that could point them in the right direction. At one point in the interview, Sharon decided it was time to subtly step it up a little bit, and Amy and Cami were the people for that job. She'd heard the little girl with Cami whining for the last few minutes, anyway, so she decided to give Cami a break and take over baby-sitting duty for a while. That was the unfortunate part of needing information from people on whom they didn't have enough dirt to formally hold in custody. The murder room had functioned as a daycare more than once in the past to encourage suspects and/or witnesses to come talk to them.

As Sharon snagged Amy and left the murder room, she could hear Maddie's cries growing louder and a little panicked, and she was now fairly certain she knew what the problem was. After working together for several years, Amy had an idea of what Sharon wanted them to do, so she began to fill Cami in while Sharon gathered Maddie in her arms. "You guys go see if you can encourage our witness to talk a little more, and I think this little one is due for a trip to the bathroom. Please tell the others to come get me if it gets interesting." Maddie resisted Sharon as she was being taken from Cami, as she'd been sitting with her for a while and had warmed up to her, but she seemed relieved at the mention of the bathroom. "It's just around the corner, okay?" Sharon assured the squirming girl as she walked quickly in that direction. She remembered Emily being shy about needing the bathroom if Sharon wasn't around and she wasn't familiar with the adults who were with her. She also remembered that once the whining and fidgeting started, she didn't have much time before she had a wet hip, so she got to the bathroom as quickly as she could and set Maddie down in a stall. "Do you need any help?" Maddie shook her head, so Sharon held the stall door closed until she was finished and helped her wash her hands. Maddie yawned and reached for Sharon to pick her up. It was 1:30, which was probably a little past her nap time. "I think it's time for a little...rest," Sharon said, careful to avoid the word nap.

Maddie grasped Sharon's hair with her little fingers and lay on her shoulder. "Is it my nap time?"

"I believe so, honey." It obviously wasn't going to be hard to convince the little girl to try to go to sleep. Ricky had been the same way. By the time he was a toddler, he'd take himself to bed if Sharon was too busy to put him down for a nap or bedtime when he was ready. Getting Emily into bed for any reason had been like wrestling a tiger at this age. Sharon sat in Amy's chair in the murder room and adjusted Maddie in her lap. Gently spinning the chair back and forth, she hummed softly and rubbed her back until she was sleeping in her arms. God, she couldn't wait to be a grandmother and do this more frequently. And then give the child back when she'd had enough. Once Maddie felt heavier against her shoulder and her breathing was deep and even, Sharon carried her into the electronics room. Mike and Julio about fell over each other in their haste to stand up so she would have a seat. She sat in Julio's chair and ran her fingers through the little girl's hair as she watched the interview. God, this woman. She didn't seem to have done anything wrong herself, but she'd gotten herself tangled up with some terrible people. Maddie seemed happy and well taken care of, but the thought of sending her home with this woman made Sharon want to vomit. Years ago, the well-dressed and obviously pretty well-off woman on the screen would've surprised Sharon as being involved with criminals, but if she'd learned anything in the last nearly four decades, it was that criminals and their cronies were a diverse lot.

"One of us can hold her if she starts to get heavy, ma'am," Julio offered.

"She's fine. Thank you." As the interview progressed, Sharon could see that sending Amy and Cami to tag in had been a good call. The woman's defenses had been entirely too high with Mike and Provenza, but she now seemed oblivious to the fact that she was probably revealing more information than she'd intended. Despite her usual blunt behavior, Cami could establish a false rapport with tight-lipped witnesses and get them talking like they were old friends. She was always entertaining to watch in an interview room. Amy was being politely agreeable and friendly, but was waiting to come in for the kill when they started to get somewhere. They truly made a great team.

A couple of hours later, Amy and Cami had managed to get a good bit of information from the woman, who was now crying after being frightened and falsely threatened with criminal action by Amy into finally revealing everything she knew. They were simply confirming details and tying up loose ends, and Maddie would probably be awake soon, so Sharon carried her back to the murder room before she woke up, not wanting her to see her mother like that. "Hey, did you sleep good?" Sharon asked softly a few minutes later. Maddie was stirring and struggling to open her eyes. She was a little startled when she looked up at Sharon, but then she seemed to remember her.

"Mm-hmm." Maddie lay back down, still clutching Sharon's hair. She'd had a death grip on it since before she'd fallen asleep. Sharon scratched her back and gently swayed from side to side in Andy's chair until the little girl could properly wake up. She remembered how much she'd loved the drowsy post-nap snuggles with Emily and Ricky when they were small. Maddie sat up again a few minutes later, looking more alert. "Where's my mommy?"

"She'll be back soon. I bet you're thirsty after your nap, aren't you?" Sharon took Maddie to the break room and got out one of the Capri Suns she kept in the refrigerator for Mark. She usually had a little wiggle room in the break room supplies budget, so she kept snacks and drinks on hand for days he came to the station after school. "Are you hungry?" Maddie nodded, so Sharon poked the straw through the top of the Capri Sun, put a handful of goldfish on a paper towel, and settled in a bar stool with her in her lap. They were in the middle of a serious discussion about Doc McStuffins when Cami came in with Maddie's mom. The woman quickly thanked them and left, looking embarrassed.

"I think Amy scared her pretty straight," Cami commented once the woman and Maddie were gone.

Sharon nodded. "I hope so. That poor little girl."

They were able to close the case on Friday afternoon, so Sharon sent everyone home early after a long week of late nights. The weather was warm and pleasant, so she changed clothes when they got home and watered the flowers on the balcony while Andy cooked dinner. Just a few weeks ago, she'd been too tired when she got home most nights, so Andy or Rusty had taken care of that on the evenings when she had gone straight to the couch without passing go. Her fatigue hadn't completely faded, but it had improved, and she'd been told that some fatigue would probably linger for a few months after her treatment ended. Music was playing from her phone, and she sang along and sipped a glass of wine as she made the rounds with the watering can.

"Some say it's a sign of weakness for a man to beg  
Then weak I'd rather be  
If it means having you to keep  
'Cause lately I've been losing sleep  
Baby, I need your lovin'  
Got to have all your lovin'  
Baby I need your lovin'  
Got to have all you lovin'  
Lonely nights echo your name  
Oh, sometimes I wonder  
Will I ever be the same?  
Oh yeah, when you see me smiling  
You know things have gotten worse  
Any smile you might see has all been rehearsed  
Darling, I can't go on without you  
This emptiness won't let me live without you  
This loneliness inside, darling  
Makes me feel half alive  
Baby, I need your lovin'  
Got to have all your lovin'  
Baby I need your lovin'  
Got to have all your lovin'"

Sharon was settling into a lounge chair with a refilled glass of wine when her phone started ringing. It was Anna, her nephew's wife. They didn't talk on the phone often, and she worried that something might be wrong, so she answered right away.

"So listen to this shit," Anna demanded before Sharon got "hello" completely out of her mouth. "Huff did an interview with Parade, and just when I thought he couldn't have been more of a condescending asshole, he outdid himself."

Sharon took a long sip of wine. "What did he say?"

"Well, first of all, the beginning of the article described Huff as ‘patiently explaining’ why both he and May McDonald felt Sherry needed to be laid to rest. May McDonald has said several things about it since that episode aired, but nothing about being involved in the decision. She said she was informed of the decision before they started filming the last season, but she didn't seem to agree with it or to have actually been involved with it. Maybe she was involved, but she hasn't said anything that suggests she was. I think Huff's just trying to share the blame, as usual."

Sharon rolled her eyes. "’Patiently explaining?!’ That sounds like code for making shit up and saying it in a patronizing tone."

"Oh, it gets better. Huff is 'sorry that we're having an emotional reaction to a television drama.' What the hell did he expect?! And then he said later in the interview that 'it was his job to provoke emotional reactions.' I guess he only considers that to be his 'job' if he likes the emotional reactions. Oh, and angry fans aren't Badge of Justice fans, they're May McDonald fans. He threw 'irrational' in there a few times, too."

Sharon slammed her wine glass down on the small table beside her a little harder than she intended, and some of it splashed on her hand. "He has lost his damn mind! I'd never even heard of May McDonald before I started watching the show. I wouldn't have been angry if her death had made any sense or if it served a purpose for the show, but he just erased her like she didn't matter!"

"Oh, but it did serve a purpose," Anna said mockingly. "Dusty couldn't have straight-up murdered Strom if she had been alive. He was 'accommodating' by making the Strom ending one that couldn't have happened on Sherry's watch."

"That ending had to do with lazy writing, not with giving Sherry's death a purpose!" Sharon hadn't paid much attention to the last few episodes, but she'd paid more attention the last episode, which had been described as "defiant" multiple times by Huff earlier in the season, according to Anna. Spoiler alert: there was nothing defiant about a 21 year old getting away with murder, no questions asked, after a lackluster and boring-at-best "pursuit" of Strom.

"Tell me about it. He made the decision to kill her off, and he won't own up to it. If he's not blaming his own decision on the network for canceling the show, he's making up bullshit reasons for it and expecting people not to get angry. Get this. He said 'next to doing something truly spectacular, there's nothing like rising above something absolutely ridiculous. That's what I'm doing at the moment.'"

Sharon's eyes widened. "The only thing ridiculous about all of this is his excuses for a badly-written final season! And there's no way he would've written the same storyline for a male character. You're right. He's outdone himself."

They talked for a few more minutes before hanging up, and once Sharon's blood pressure was back under control, she relaxed and looked over the city as the light of day slowly faded and the city began to light up for the night. Okay, she'd listen to one more song before she went inside to help Andy finish up with dinner.

We're gonna move it slow  
When lights are low  
When you move it slow, it sounds like more  
And it's all right, whoa, it's all right

Now listen to the beat  
Kinda pat your feet  
You've got soul and everybody knows  
That it's all right, whoa, it's all right

When you wake up early in the morning  
Feelin' sad like so many of us do  
Hum a little soul, make life your goal  
And surely something's got to come to you

And say it's all right  
Say it's all right  
It's all right, have a good time  
'Cause it's all right, whoa, it's all right

Now everybody clap your hands  
Give yourself a chance  
You got soul and everybody knows  
That it's all right, whoa, it's all right

Someday I'll find me a woman  
Who will love and treat me real nice  
Then my woe's got to go  
And my love, she will know  
From morning, noon and night

And she's got to say it's alright.

Sharon's phone rang again as she was walking inside, and this time it was her realtor calling with a listing she thought they might be interested in. Laura insisted that the house would probably be sold quickly, so she wrote down the address and assured her that she and Andy would meet her there the next morning.

On Saturday morning, Sharon knew that they'd finally found their house the second they walked inside. As they walked through it, she loved it more and more. There were three bedrooms and an office that could function as a small fourth bedroom, and every room in the house was spacious and open. The smaller bedrooms were at the opposite end of the house from the large master bedroom, and the kitchen was big and held new appliances that were being left in the house. The back yard had a pool and a hot tub and there was an outdoor fireplace, and there was an outdoor fireplace on the enormous back porch. It seemed too perfect to be true. "It's like someone built this house just for us," Sharon commented.

"It was built three years ago by a couple around our age," Laura answered. "They had just retired and gotten their last child through college, so they sold the house they'd lived in for twenty years and built a smaller house that had everything they wanted."

Sharon nodded. That made sense. One level in anticipation of approaching older age. The bedrooms on the opposite end of the house to keep visiting children from overhearing things from the master bedroom. The comfortable-looking swing on the back porch where she could imagine reading book after book and drinking glass after glass of wine. The basic floor plan with fewer, larger rooms. That laundry room was definitely the biggest one she'd ever seen. "And they're selling it now because..."

Laura gave her a sad smile. "The wife was killed in a car accident a few weeks ago. Her husband has been too sad living here alone, and he's going to move to San Diego to be closer to two of his children."

Sharon's breath caught in her throat as tears filled her eyes. "That's terrible!"

Laura nodded. "He wants it sold as quickly as possible, so it's not listed for as much as it could've been."

Sharon looked up at Andy. "I was sold before I even saw the fireplace outside."

"And I was sold before I saw the pool and realized how much more often I'd be seeing you in your swimsuit."

Sharon rolled her eyes. "It's a deal."

Thanks so much for reading! I always love seeing your thoughts.


	21. Chapter 21

I know that Julio's the one that got a promotion, but with the male-centric ending of the show, I gave it to Amy instead.

This chapter is rated "M" for oral sex. I absolutely understand if some of you aren't comfortable with it, so I've clearly marked the beginning and end of the mature content with "MCs" to make it easy to skip over. Please just skip it if you don't want to read it. :)

Two weeks later, Sharon went down to HR, retirement paperwork in hand. She'd enrolled in the Deferred Retirement Option Plan soon after taking over Major Crimes in case she wasn't happy with her new position, and she wanted to get the full five years of the benefits without making herself miserable for longer than necessary. This meant that she'd technically "retired" almost five years ago, but still worked for her regular salary. During those five years, she was also accruing retirement payments that she would have access to after five years via either a lump sum or incremented payments. She was supposed to completely terminate her employment after five years, but she knew that as the commanding officer of an elite division she would probably be able to negotiate additional years after that, with just regular salary and cutting off her retirement payments until she actually retired, if she wanted to. After the last few months of unfavorable changes in LAPD politics and Mason giving her hell about every little thing, though, she was ready to just retire according to her DROP enrollment stipulations and wasn't so inclined to try to negotiate for more time. The only drawback to the DROP program was that her pension was based upon her captain's salary, since that was when she technically "retired," but the payout she would get from the deferred retirement payments would make up for a good bit of the difference between that and the pension she would've gotten as a commander. If she'd known she was going to be promoted, she probably wouldn't have enrolled in the DROP program, but she'd given up on that idea years ago. She only would've had to be commander for a year to be eligible for that pension, and the anniversary of her promotion was coming up, but she never could've known five years ago that the timing would be so perfect. Or that she'd even get a promotion. She was still going to be more than well-off enough, retirement-wise, so she didn't fret about it.

After a brief meeting with HR, Sharon went back up to the ninth floor with mixed emotions. Her retirement date was set for the beginning of April, and while she was sad to close this chapter in her life, she was excited about things to come. It helped that she and Andy would be leaving for their delayed honeymoon in Ireland soon after that. Looking back, Ireland probably hadn't been the smartest honeymoon choice for a November wedding, anyway. After living in LA for so long, she was accustomed to mild weather and couldn't stand to be cold. With the warmer temperatures and more vibrant scenery that would come with an April trip and the absence of Stroh and cancer treatment hanging over her head, Ireland in April was much more ideal than it would've been immediately after the wedding. They were also closing on their new house in a couple of weeks, and the excitement from that helped her focus on the anticipation of moving forward rather than feeling sad about the things that were coming to an end.

Andy met Sharon's eyes as she entered the murder room. He knew where she'd been, but she wasn't telling anyone else for a couple more weeks. Amy had been acting strangely lately, and Sharon had a feeling she wasn't the only one with changes in her future. She suspected that Amy was being courted by another department for a promotion, although she hadn't said a word about it. Sharon could always tell when something was going on with her. Amy could tell the most convincing and straight-faced lies to suspects on command, but Sharon could always tell when she was keeping something from her. Amy had never been blatantly dishonest with her, but there had been a couple of times where she withheld information, and while Sharon hadn't known exactly what she was holding back, she knew it was something. True to her prediction, Amy came into her office at the end of the day. "Ma'am? Do you have a minute?"

"Sure." Sharon stopped packing her work bag and sat down, indicating for Amy to do the same.

Amy sat in one of the chairs in front of Sharon's desk and fiddled nervously with the hem of her skirt as she spoke. "There's going to be an opening for a lieutenant in the Criminal Intelligence Division soon, and one of their detectives told Cooper that I was being considered for it. Captain Perez asked to meet with me later this week, and I think that's what it's about. I didn't say anything before because it was just hearsay, and—"

"That's fantastic, Amy. I'm so happy for you." Sharon gave her a warm smile as she walked around her desk to give her a hug. "You'll be a great loss to this division, but you absolutely deserve it."

"Thanks, Commander."

"You're welcome." Sharon gave her a little squeeze before pulling away. "I'm so proud of you, Amy."

The following Saturday morning, Rusty left the condo early to go to USC to take the LSAT. Still in her nightgown, Sharon thrust a banana and a bottle of water in his hands as he was running out the door before stopping him to kiss his cheek. "Good luck. I know you'll do great."

"Thanks, Mom." Rusty gave her a quick hug and left.

Once he was gone, Sharon looked around the kitchen, thinking about starting to pack up the condo. There wasn't much that would actually be going to the new house, and her lease was up in April, which was perfect timing. They could pack up and move a little at a time, and Rusty was still going stay there a good bit after they moved out. Sharon wanted to go ahead and get organized and decide what she was giving away and what she wanted to keep, so she started sorting through kitchen cabinets. Some of the pots, pans, and various dishes were the ones she and Jack had received as wedding gifts, and her first instinct was to send them to Goodwill, but she was filled with nostalgia as she pulled them out of the cabinets. While the marriage had obviously failed, memories of meals with her children as they were growing up came to mind as she looked over the familiar dishes. It felt odd to take them to the new house with a new husband, though, so she hastily wrote "Goodwill" on an empty box and started packing it, stopping to wrap potential breakables in packing paper. Seeing that she'd started packing, Andy went into the kitchen to help her.

A little while later, a song playing from Sharon's phone had Andy pulling her into his arms to dance for the third time that morning. "Andy, we're never going to get packed if you keep this up!" Sharon chided.

"Relax, Sharon, it'll still be there when the song's over."

Stuck on you  
I've got this feeling down  
Deep in my soul  
That I just can't lose  
Guess I'm on my way  
Needed a friend  
And the way I feel now I guess  
I'll be with you till the end  
Guess I'm on my way  
I'm mighty glad you stayed

I'm stuck on you  
Been a fool too long I guess  
It's time for me to come on home  
Guess I'm on my way  
So hard to see  
That a woman like you could wait  
Around for a man like me  
Guess I'm on my way  
I'm mighty glad you stayed

Oh, I'm leaving on that midnight train tomorrow  
And I know just where I'm going  
I've packed up my troubles  
And I've thrown them all away  
Because this time little darling  
I'm coming home to stay

Andy tilted Sharon's chin up for a slow kiss before moving along her neck to the sensitive spot behind her ear. "We don't have time for this—hmmmm." Damn that sensitive place behind her ear. Andy teased the insides of her thighs with his fingers, and Sharon was done for. "All right, fine," she muttered, then squealed as Andy lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bedroom.

Despite Andy's best efforts, and eventually Sharon's, it later became clear that taking advantage of the empty condo in the traditional sense wasn't going to happen. Sharon ran her fingers through Andy's hair and pressed her lips to his temple. "It's okay, honey. We need to get back to packing, anyway."

MCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMC

"Not so fast." Andy gently spread her legs and rested his head against the inside of her thigh. Sharon knew what was coming, and although the moment had passed and she was no longer in the mood, she wasn't one to pass up an effortless orgasm. Especially now that she was older and they were harder to come by. Her eagerness for it to be over with wasn't helping anything, though, and it was taking longer than usual. The odd mood she'd fallen into was keeping her from reacting like she usually did. It felt nice, but she couldn't quite get to the level of her back arching and having to grip the bed sheets. She considered faking it, but Andy had called her out on it any time she'd found it necessary to do so before, so she decided against it.

Sharon rested her hands on Andy's head and started to pull him away. "Really, Andy, it's obviously not in the cards for either one of us today."

"Nuh-uh. I'm not going oh for two," Andy muttered, his voice muffled against her.

Sharon rolled her eyes, but Andy being forced to get experimental was starting to work for her. She went from annoyed to her toes curling and breathing panting breaths. Andy knew he was getting somewhere when he noticed her grab the sheets out of the corner of his eye, so he got a little more aggressive with his tongue. "Oh, my god," Sharon moaned. She held Andy's head in place and pressed him further against her in case he had the foolish idea of changing routes. Although she tried to keep quiet out of habit, even knowing Rusty wasn't home, she couldn't help the scream she let out when she finally came. She hadn't had an orgasm this intense since she was pregnant with Ricky and aided by pregnancy hormones. Andy looked stunned at first, but a shit-eating grin quickly took over his features, which were now creased in a smug expression. Speechless and breathing like she'd just run a marathon, Sharon disentangled her legs from Andy, moved lower on the bed, and cuddled into him. He kissed her forehead and brushed his fingers through her hair until she begrudgingly got up to go to the bathroom and shower for the day.

MCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMC

By the time Sharon had taken a shower and was walking into the kitchen, with wet hair and dressed in leggings and a t-shirt, Andy had finished packing the kitchen cabinet she'd started cleaning out and was starting on another one. Still with a smug look on his face. "You're pretty proud of yourself, aren't you?" Sharon couldn't help but comment.

"You're damn right I'm proud of myself. I never thought I'd see the day where you screamed like that."

Sharon rolled her eyes and started putting together ingredients for spaghetti sauce. She didn't usually cook lunch on weekends, but spaghetti was one of Rusty's favorites, and he'd been a nervous wreck about the LSAT all week, so she wanted to indulge him a little bit.

"This smells great, Mom," Rusty said when he came in a couple of hours later. "I'm starving."

Sharon looked up from the noodles she was stirring on the stove. "How did it go?"

Rusty shrugged. "Nothing completely threw me, but I can't really tell."

"I'm sure you did fine." Sharon gently squeezed his shoulder. "This is almost ready."

After lunch, Sharon started going through her desk in the living room while Andy went to her storage unit to get a few boxes. That wasn't going to be an easy process. While she wasn't on a timeline for that at all, it wasn't necessary to keep paying for it once they had a house, so she wanted to go through everything there and not have to worry about it as soon as possible. Its contents had dwindled in the last several years as Emily and Ricky had gotten their own apartments and needed furniture and various other things, but there was still a good bit to sort through. The hardest part was going to be deciding what she wanted to keep and what she wanted to give away. She looked over at Rusty as he went to the kitchen for a glass of water. "Have you looked at any new furniture for your room?" He'd claimed that he wanted to keep his current furniture, but she hoped he'd change his mind. She'd offered to let him get new furniture for his room several times since he'd moved in with her. He'd always declined, but she hoped having a new room in a new house would encourage him to want new furniture. There was nothing wrong with his now, she just wanted him to have some he'd picked out himself.

"My furniture's fine, Mom, I told you I don't care."

"Okay, but let me know if you change your mind. Every other room in the house will have new furniture, one more room's worth won't make much of a difference," Sharon said, not knowing whether he really didn't care or if he didn't want her to pay for it.

Rusty nodded and went back to his room. He looked around as he flopped onto his bed. This room was the first place where he'd felt any kind of stability. His biological mom had been okay until he was ten or eleven, but they still moved a lot, and she had never been great with the keeping a job thing. This was the only place where he'd always known that he would be protected and cared for, and letting go of the familiar items in his room would be too hard. Leaving the condo was going to be hard enough. He knew they needed more room and that the new house would eventually become familiar and comforting for him, but he didn't like change. And this was going to be a big one. This bed was where many of the most nurturing moments with Sharon had happened, from her taking care of him when he was sick to talking through problems with him about school, friends, Gus, his mom, or whatever the current crisis happened to be. Of all the things that had happened in this room, calling her 'Mom' for the first time stuck out. Well, for the first genuine time and not just to avoid explaining their relationship to a guy he liked.

November 2015

Rusty came home from class one Thursday afternoon and went straight to bed. He felt like hell. It was strange not to be greeted by Andy and Patrice, but Nicole was traveling overseas for work the following week and wanted to spend some time with Andy first. She'd invited him to spend the weekend with her family, both to spend some time with him and to give Sharon a break. Next thing Rusty knew, Sharon was gently shaking him awake. "Hi, honey. Dinner's ready."

"'Kay." Rusty struggled to open his eyes as he sat up.

Sharon sat on his bed and gave him an appraising look. "Are you feeling all right?"

"Yeah." He normally would've started complaining about not feeling well the second she woke him up, but it had been a while since the last time he was sick, and he felt too old for that now.

Sharon raised a suspicious eyebrow. "The last time I had to wake you for dinner, you woke up the next morning with a 102 degree fever. You normally would've been in the kitchen an hour ago, bugging me about what's for dinner and when it was going to be ready. While already eating something else and getting crumbs all over the floor."

"Fine, Sharon, you're right. You're always right. I don't feel good."

"I figured as much." Sharon brushed his hair back and rested her hand against his forehead. "Hmm, you feel warm," she murmured as her hand drifted to his cheek. "What's the matter?"

"My throat and head hurt, and my nose is, like, ugh."

"Have you been coughing?" Rusty nodded, and he rolled his eyes as Sharon brandished the thermometer.

"You brought that back here before you even knew I was sick? You are so creepy."

"No, honey. I just know my so—you," Sharon quickly corrected herself.

Late the next night, a jolt to his stomach had Rusty running for the bathroom, and of course Sharon came in not long after he started getting sick, glass of water and cool cloth in hand. She put the glass next to the sink, then patted his back and dabbed his cheeks with the cloth until he was finished. She had taken him to the doctor that afternoon, not wanting him to drive, and he'd tested positive for the godawful strain of the flu that makes you throw up everything you've eaten in the last week on top of the other symptoms of misery.

Sharon wiped his mouth with the cloth and led him back to bed. "I'll bring you some medicine and ginger ale. Need anything else?" Rusty shook his head. Once he was settled, Sharon leaned down and kissed his forehead. "Feel better, sweetheart. Love you. Come get me if you need me."

"Thanks, Mom. Love you." Rusty noticed his slip, but, hell, Sharon had been at home with him more than she'd been at work in the last couple of days, and she'd been bringing him what he needed before he had to ask for it and sat with him and scratched his back when he couldn't sleep. Just like she always did. She'd been his mother long enough. It was past time.


	22. Chapter 22

Sharon and Andy closed on their new house on a Friday afternoon in late February and went out for dinner to celebrate. When they got home, Sharon changed into sweats and went out to the balcony with her book, a blanket, and a glass of wine. It was a chilly evening for L.A.'s standards, so she'd opted for cabernet. After flipping on the small light near the door, she settled in one of the lounge chairs and opened her book. She couldn't wait to be able to do this beside a fire and a pool. Andy was inside, getting things ready to take to the new house the next day, but the long week of working and packing had exhausted her. Most of the necessities were ready to go, anyway. Andy was packing his own things, which Sharon had been on him to do all week, but of course he'd waited until tonight.

A couple of hours later, Andy slipped outside. Sharon was engrossed in her book and jumped when he leaned over the chair and kissed the top of her head. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

Sharon marked her place and closed her book. "It's okay. Did you get packed?"

"Close enough."

Sharon rolled her eyes. "Your life would be so much easier if you'd just listen to me the first time, you know."

Andy shrugged. "Where's the fun in that?" He crammed himself into Sharon's chair. "You know, this might be our last night here." Depending upon how much they got done at the new house and how many things were actually delivered as promised the next day, they were thinking about spending the night Saturday night.

Sharon took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes. With Rusty visiting Ricky for the weekend, she'd been expecting this. "It's cold out here, Andy!"

"Well, we never tested out the new furniture. We should make sure it's good enough before we take it to the new house," he mockingly reasoned. "And this could be our last night here. It's been a great place. We owe it to the condo. I'm willing to risk two no-shows in a row."

"Hey, I still got mine. And didn't even have to do anything! Win-win."

Andy heaved a dramatic sigh. "It's hard work being this good."

"At least that's the only problem getting older causes you to have," Sharon muttered. "Otherwise, sex isn't much different for you."

"No, no, no. You're not going to convince me that I have it easier than you," Andy protested. "Women don't have to worry about being able to perform or the pressure of being good. It's impossible for a woman to be bad in bed! Well, I guess it's possible, but not likely!"

Sharon gave Andy an incredulous look. "Do you not remember how badly it hurt for me the first few times we did it? And can you imagine how embarrassing it was explaining it to my doctor?" The problem had been mild and a somewhat easy fix, but it had taken a little time.

Andy grimaced. "Oh, yeah, I forgot about that...There's something I'm forgetting, though. I'm not ready to call it even just yet."

"Good, because I'd hardly call it even." Sharon gave him a withering look.

Andy held Sharon up with one arm and adjusted the lounge chair to lie flat. "Well, maybe you should give me a chance to settle the score." Andy pressed his lips to hers, and a low moan a little while later reminded him of what he'd forgotten. "Multiple orgasms!" Andy exclaimed, pulling away from Sharon. "You can have one right after the other!" He gave her a smug grin. "I would know."

"My book is starting to sound better than this," Sharon warned.

"Okay, okay."

They found that they had to get creative with the restrictive lounge chair, but it was much better than the first time they'd tried this on the balcony. "See, I told you," Andy smirked as Sharon lay against him afterward. "Multiple orgasms."

"Yeah, well, those don't happen nearly as much at this age." Sharon draped the blanket over them and snuggled into Andy.

"Are you still wearing your socks?" Andy asked as Sharon's feet brushed against him.

"Hmm, I guess so. I forgot I put some on before I came out here…Oh, my god, I'm Fritz."

Andy looked confused. "What does that mean? He keeps his socks on for this? Did Brenda tell you that? I didn't think you guys were ever that great of friends."

Sharon shook her head. There was no way out of this now. Not that she cared if Andy knew, it had just never come up. "Not exactly. Fritz and I, uh, dated on and off for a few years before Brenda moved to L.A."

Andy's eyes widened. "Whoa, I didn't see that coming. That actually does explain a lot, though, looking back…He kept his socks on? Every time?"

"Yep. And his watch."

"His watch?!" Andy cackled. "This is too funny."

"It wasn't so funny when he got me in the eye with the clasp one night." Sharon dragged herself up to go to the bathroom.

"Not yet," Andy whined.

"I'll be right back. Not that you're in danger of winning this argument, but women also have to pee soon after sex. Even so, UTIs still sometimes happen. You can just lie there all you want and not worry about sex causing you to have to pee all the time and wanting to cry when you do so a few days later."

Andy shuddered. "Okay. You win."

Sharon gave him a wry smile. "I believe that was clear from the beginning."

The next morning, Sharon sadly looked around the bare walls and packed boxes in the living room between taking boxes down to Andy's car. As excited as she was about the new house, she was going to miss this place. She'd moved here when Ricky was still in college, fed up with the needless extra space to clean and the upkeep the house in which she'd raised Emily and Ricky required. The deciding factor had been hearing how much a neighbor had sold their similar house for and realizing she'd get a pretty good profit. Emily was living in New York by then and didn't get home much, and she and Ricky weren't often home at the same time, so one extra bedroom and a smaller space would suffice. And allow her to easily pay for Ricky's remaining semesters and buy a newer car and nicer clothes for herself.

Once Ricky was out of college and on his own, Sharon's expenses would decrease considerably, so she was able to afford a nice condo downtown and be closer to work. Life without having at least one child in the house depending upon her all the time was still a new experience for her, and she'd learned a lot about herself in this condo. Her non-work life no longer revolved around signing permission slips, feeling like she lived at the grocery store because teenaged boys and their friends ate constantly, helping with last-minute school assignments, trying to weasel out of Ricky why he had detention yet again, navigating teenage hormones, never-ending laundry, negotiating allowances, and achieving the delicate balance of supervision and trust when she had a teenager and their significant other in the house. The teenage years had actually made her miss the days when her biggest mystery with the kids involved wondering whether that was water or toddler pee on the floor. Occasionally attending school functions and guiding her children through adolescence and college preparation was a thing of the past.

While Emily and Ricky still required a bit of guidance, worry, and support at the time, it was nothing like when they were living at home. Sharon found that she was lonely and a little bit too dependent upon wine to help her sleep at night. She'd gone through a little down period right after she moved to the condo. While it seemed like a fresh start and less of a hassle than her house had been, she realized that she hadn't considered the familiar neighbors she'd be leaving behind. Between the adults she'd been friends with for years and their children she'd watched grow up, her neighborhood had been a support system. She missed neighbors' children coming over occasionally at night to borrow a little bit of sugar or milk for the next morning's coffee or cereal because they'd forgotten to replace it earlier. She also longed for the ability to sit on a neighbor's porch and chat over a few glasses of wine when the evenings got lonely. Getting out of her comfort zone had been good for her, too, though. She still kept in touch with her old neighborhood friends, but she no longer had them nearby as a safety net. She'd never had so much alone time before in her life, and once she was forced to get used to it, she found that she enjoyed it. It took a few visits with a therapist she'd been seeing off and on for years to get there, but she was learning to turn her focus from her children to herself. This condo was where she'd gotten to know herself better than she ever had before, and she'd gained an unexpected second son and husband while living within these walls.

Andy came in from taking a load down to his car and looked around. "My car is full, but the rest of this should fit in Rusty's car." Sharon and Rusty had swapped cars for the weekend, as she felt more comfortable with him driving six hours in her car than his. That was another thing that needed to be done. He needed a new car. She'd probably get a new one for herself and pass hers down to him. It was only six years old and should last him through law school, finding a job, and saving for his own. It would definitely be an upgrade from what he had now. He had never complained about it, but as good as her old car had been to her, it was time for it to go. Sharon grabbed a load and followed Andy down to the garage.

After a stop at the grocery store for plasticware, cleaning supplies, and other necessities, and a deli for lunch, they arrived at the new house. It wasn't far from Sharon's old neighborhood, which was a bit of a calculated decision. The news of Emily moving back to L.A. had altered the house-searching plans a bit, both size and location-wise, as Emily and Emmett eventually having their own house meant that Sharon didn't have to worry about having room for them to visit. Both of Andy's children lived close enough to not be overnight guests, so Ricky, Rusty, and grandchildren were all they had to plan for. Given that the ballet studio Emily was buying was near Sharon's old neighborhood, she figured that she and Emmett would be looking in the same area. For the time being, two of the bedrooms would belong to Emily, Emmett, and Rusty, and the smaller office/bedroom would probably function as a bedroom for Ricky, until Emily and Emmett moved out, and the current and future grandchildren. Nicole's stepsons had been begging for a sleepover at the new house since they'd heard about it. Rusty's baby sister spent a night or two with them every few weeks as well, both to give the other Sharon and Gary's parents a break and for Rusty to spend time with his sister.

Several packages had already been delivered, including three new mattresses, bedding, dishes, flatware, shower curtains, bathmats, and some other smaller things. Rusty was still adamant about keeping his bedroom furniture, but Sharon had gotten him a new mattress. She wasn't sure what the setup for the fourth bedroom was going to be, so she didn't have anything for it yet. The furniture for the master bedroom was supposed to have been delivered, but Sharon had gotten a notification that morning that it had been delayed. After a quick lunch, they threw out their take-out cartons and walked through the house again. It looked bigger now that it was empty. Once they'd gotten a good look at everything again, they started unpacking the delivered packages. Sharon loaded the dishwasher with the new pots, pans, dishes, flatware, and wine glasses that would fit while Andy unpacked the mattresses and linens. He went into the kitchen to dig through the grocery bags for laundry detergent and noticed Sharon dancing around to the music playing from her phone as she transferred things from boxes to the dishwasher. She wasn't paying him a bit of attention.

Ooh, this old heart of mine, been broken thousand times  
Each time you break away, I fear you're gone to stay  
Lonely nights that come, memories that go  
Bringing you back again, hurting me more and more

Maybe it's my mistake  
To show this love I feel inside  
'Cause each day that passes by  
You've got me never knowing if I'm coming or going but I

I love you  
This is old heart, darling, is weak for you

Andy watched her for a little while longer before slipping up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist.

"But if you leave me a hundred times  
A hundred times I'll take you back

I'm yours whenever you want me-"

"Andy, seriously! You have a problem," Sharon laughed.

"You started it," Andy countered. "How am I supposed to get anything done with you distracting me?"

"I was still working," Sharon glowered. "Standing there with your mouth hanging open isn't getting anything washed or unpacked."

Andy flipped his hand through Sharon's hair. "Rusty's right, you do have eyes in the back of your head. Is that why your hair's so thick?"

"I'll never tell." Sharon pecked him on the lips. "Now, get those sheets in the washing machine before I have to use my 'Mom' voice."

"Yes, ma'am." Andy found the laundry detergent and disappeared into the laundry room, and Sharon started the dishwasher. As she started putting the groceries away, a different song started playing. This one took her back to her and Jack's first apartment after they got married, when he was in law school and she was a new LAPD officer, struggling to pay his tuition and the bills with her less than stellar salary. Her iTunes had gotten a workout in the last couple of weeks with all of the packing, and many of her favorite songs brought back memories and made her nostalgic.

Oh, I could hide 'neath the wings  
Of the bluebird as she sings  
The six o'clock alarm would never ring  
But it rings and I rise  
Wipe the sleep out of my eyes  
My shavin' razor's cold and it stings

Cheer up, Sleepy Jean  
Oh, what can it mean  
To a daydream believer  
And a homecoming queen

You once thought of me  
As a white knight on his steed  
Now you know how happy I can be  
And our good times start and end  
Without dollar one to spend

But how much, baby, do we really need?

Looking back, those had been some good times. After a long day of school and a twelve-hour shift, they would sit on their patio with beer for Jack and cheap white zinfandel for Sharon and listen to music. More times than not, their similarly-aged neighbors were also on their patios, and they could chat in the close quarters of the apartment building without leaving home. At the time, she never thought she'd miss those days. They didn't have much money, but Jack made her laugh, and between his new law school friends, both of their college friends who were still in the area, and friends from their apartment building, they had a good time.

By that evening, everything had been washed that needed it, and there was some semblance of organization with what they had so far. "We should get dinner and head back home," Sharon said when they reached a stopping point.

"Why? We have a mattress and bedding."

"Andy! We're not sleeping on a mattress on the floor!"

"Why not? Let's just order a pizza, and then we'll be right here in the morning to keep working."

Sharon shrugged. "That's true. It's going to be a little quiet with no TV, but by the time we eat and I try out that bathtub, I'll probably be ready for bed, anyway."

The next day, Sharon went shopping for small things she hadn't thought to shop for before and to look at porch furniture while Andy kept working at the house. The arthritis in her wrist was acting up, so she was taking a break from working. The balcony furniture was going beside the pool, and she wanted rocking chairs, a small couch, and a swing for the porch. She and Andy agreed on some via pictures, and she finished up her shopping, stopped by the condo for her wrist brace and a couple of things they'd forgotten, and went home.

Rusty came by with take-out for dinner when he got back from Ricky's that evening. A drawer divider for the flatware was one of the things Sharon had forgotten, so the utensils had remained in the dishwasher. She was finally putting them in a drawer when Rusty came in and set the take-out on the island in the kitchen. "Thanks, honey. Did you guys have fun?"

"Yeah."

Andy came in from the living room when he heard Rusty and noticed Sharon putting the flatware away. "Why are you putting that there?"

"Because it's beside the dishwasher," Sharon answered, like it should have been obvious.

"But the plates and bowls are over there," Andy pointed out.

Sharon gave Andy a questioning look. "And?"

"When you fix a bowl of cereal or put something on a plate, you'll have to walk all the way over here to get a spoon or fork." Andy said 'all the way' like the kitchen was a mile wide. "I know that's how it was at the condo, but that was your place. I get a say in this stuff this time."

Sharon hesitated. "I guess you're right…" Despite the different sizes of her various kitchens in the past, they'd been set up with similar patterns. Jack couldn't have cared less and just let her do what she wanted to do, and he was long gone by the time she moved in to the condo. She hadn't thought about Andy wanting a say in organizing the kitchen.

"I'm with Andy on this one, Mom," Rusty spoke up. He noticed the brace on her wrist for the first time, and a disgusted look came over his face. "Mom! What the hell?!"

"Rusty! What—" She followed his gaze to her wrist. "Honey, it's just arthritis…moving made it flare up," she clarified, knowing he was thinking about the scene from Grace and Frankie where Grace had to wear a wrist brace after using a vibrator.

"Oh, yeah, that's right. Thank god, I about threw up."

"Not on my clean kitchen floor, young man."

By the following weekend, the house was mostly in order. Sharon had a good amount of vacation to use before she retired, so she'd taken two weeks off to be home while cable and internet were installed and more deliveries were made. She'd go back to work if they got a case, and she'd still be doing some paperwork at home. Rusty was taking a few weeks off before going back to work for Andrea again, so he'd been helping her and going back and forth to the storage unit so she could sort through its contents a little bit at a time while she got the rest of the house organized. The basics were taking care of, and all that was left to do was finish going through the remaining contents of the storage unit and deciding what she wanted to keep and adding decorative touches. Sharon had kept her desk, the pictures that had been on the wall behind it, and a couple of her favorite pieces from the condo. The house still looked a little bare, but she wanted to see how it looked with the new furniture before she bought anything new.

Emily arrived for the week Friday evening to look at a few houses she and Emmett had found online, and Sharon hoped they'd squeeze in a little shopping together, too. Rusty picked Emily up at the airport that evening, and Sharon was anxiously waiting for them to arrive as she and Andy cooked dinner. She couldn't wait to see how big Emily had gotten. She was three months along, and she was so tiny that she was probably starting to show a little bit by now.

"Hi, darling," Sharon greeted when they finally arrived. She pulled Emily into a hug before looking her over. If she didn't know what Emily normally looked like, she probably wouldn't have been able to tell that she was pregnant, but, upon closer inspection, she could see the beginnings of a baby bump. "Look at you!" She exclaimed as she gently rested her hands on the sides of Emily's stomach.

"I feel fat," Emily groaned. "I don't look pregnant. I just look like I've gained weight." Her face brightened a little. "My boobs are getting bigger, though!"

"I'd normally be disgusted, but crap like that doesn't even surprise me anymore," Rusty grumbled.

Late Saturday morning, Sharon Beck brought Eleanor, Rusty's little sister, to the house to spend the rest of the weekend with them. She was named for Gary's mom. "Hi, Ellie girl!" Rusty exclaimed when they came in. Eleanor broke into a grin and reached for Rusty. She was fifteen months old and adorable with her blonde curls and bright blue eyes. "Hi, Mom." Rusty gave her a quick hug before taking Eleanor from her.

Sharon set Eleanor's bag in a chair and looked around. "The new house is nice." The Sharons were on much better terms now than they had been before, as Sharon Beck had finally realized that Sharon wasn't judging her and had taken an interest in Rusty, and now Eleanor, simply because she wanted to help. Sharon Beck said hello to everyone else and chatted for a few minutes before kissing Eleanor and leaving.

"She's so cute!" Emily squealed. "She was only a few months old the last time I saw her."

"Hi, sweet girl!" Sharon cooed. "You've gotten so big in the last few weeks!" Eleanor squealed as she recognized Sharon and Andy, but she regarded Emily warily and lay on Rusty's shoulder.

"Don't act like you're going to be shy," Rusty said, patting her back. "You don't have a shy bone in your body."

After lunch, Rusty and Emily were playing with Eleanor in the living room when an odor made it apparent that she needed to be changed. Rusty and Emily noticed at the same time and stared at each other. "Okay, um, go change her, Rusty," Emily said nervously.

"What? You're going to have one of these in a few months!" Rusty protested. "You might as well get some practice."

Emily shook her head. "No, I'm enjoying my last few months of not having to do that. She's your sister!"

Rusty rolled his eyes. "All right, fine. I'll take care of it. Mo-om!"

"Oh, that's what you call 'taking care of it?'" Emily shot back.

"Yep, sure is. Mom!"

"What's the matter?" Sharon came in from the kitchen, drying her hands on a dish towel.

"We have a number two situation over here," Rusty informed her.

"Honestly, honey, you're going to have to learn to do this sooner or later." Sharon hadn't really pushed it before, mostly because it was faster and easier to just do it herself instead of trying to reason with Rusty. She was also just glad he'd agreed to regularly spend time with his sister. She got a clean diaper and wet wipes from the extra bedroom. She kept diapers, wipes, a few extra outfits, and other basics for Eleanor in case they ever had to keep her unexpectedly or the other Sharon forgot to pack something. "Come here, sweet girl, I'll change that diape.'" Sharon put a changing pad on the floor and laid Eleanor on it before cleaning her up. "Hmm, I think someone's about ready for a nap," she commented when Eleanor rubbed her eyes. "Do you want to rock her, Rusty?"

He shook his head. "She always cries when I try." He was good with playing with her and feeding her, but other things were either just gross or made him nervous.

Sharon didn't push him on that, either, because she enjoyed doing it herself. She was going to like it even more now that they had a rocking chair and it would be easier to get her to sleep. "All right, baby girl, I believe it's nap time," Sharon said once Eleanor was cleaned up and dressed again. She covered the baby with a blanket and sat in the new recliner, and Eleanor whimpered and tried to pull away from her when she realized what was happening. "Shh, baby, it's okay," Sharon soothed as she rocked and patted her back. After a few moments, Eleanor gave it up and slipped her thumb into her mouth as she nestled into Sharon's shoulder, gripping Sharon's hair. Sharon hummed as her eyes slowly began to close, then gradually stopped rocking and patting her back as she grew heavier in her arms and was deeply asleep. She held her for a few more minutes before laying her down in the pack and play in her and Andy's room. Rusty slept so deeply that she didn't trust him to wake up during the night if something was wrong, so Eleanor slept in their room for the time being.

Sharon came back into the living room and started going through a box from her storage unit. She moved her wrist wrong as she was lifting something out, causing her to wince in pain. "Fucking hell," she muttered.

Emily's head snapped up. "Mom!" She was an avid user of the word herself, but her mom was one person she made an effort to suppress it in front of. Being an LAPD officer for so long, Sharon didn't exactly have a pristine vocabulary, but Emily had never heard her say that one before.

"She's been watching Grace and Frankie," Rusty explained with an eye roll. "Those women talk like horny sailors."

Sharon shot Rusty a look. "Rusty!" Admittedly, her vocabulary had gotten more colorful than usual since she started watching it. She'd always subconsciously cussed more than usual around people who cussed a lot, and watching the show regularly seemed to have the same effect on her.

"What?" He asked innocently. "They do."

"Well, you could've put it a little more nicely."

Rusty shook his head. "Mom, you just said 'fucking.' You don't have much credibility, here."

Emily was cackling by now. "I can't wait to tell Ricky. He's going to lose his shit."

A couple of hours later, Andy came in with a sniffling Eleanor in his arms. "Look who's awake." Sharon was the first person Eleanor spotted, and she whimpered and reached for her. She liked Andy, but she always wanted Rusty or Sharon when she first woke up.

"Come here, sweet girl. You probably need to be changed." Sharon took Eleanor from Andy and checked her diaper. "My goodness, you're wet! Let's get you changed and get a snack, and then I bet Rusty will take you outside." Sharon changed her and got her a fruit pouch from the pantry. Eleanor took it from her the second she had the top off and sucked it down in no time.

Rusty and Emily took Eleanor outside with some of her toys, and Andy joined Sharon on the couch. "So, I overheard something a little disturbing yesterday."

Sharon tilted her head. "What?"

"When you retire, Provenza won't necessarily be taking over."

"What?! Who else is being considered?"

Andy sighed. "Daniels, McGinnis, Hernandez from Robbery Homicide, Carlson from Narcotics, and Davis."

Sharon's eyes widened. "Winnie Davis?!"

Andy nodded somberly. "The one and only. I'm not sure she would take it, though, it would just be a lateral move for her. And she obviously doesn't like us too much. If it's Daniels, she'll be promoted to Captain, and it would mean a promotion for McGinnis or Hernandez, too. I'm not sure about Provenza."

Sharon was speechless. "Davis?!" She finally squeaked out again.

Andy nodded. "Unfortunately."


	23. Chapter 23

“Davis?!" Sharon exclaimed again. She couldn't get past this. As entertaining as the thought of Provenza's reaction was, she didn't want to leave her team in the hands of the likes of Winnie Davis. "She's overbearing, condescending, and, to be frank, a royal pain in the ass."

Andy tilted his head, and a boyish grin played at his lips. "Well, to be fair, we all thought the same about you just a few years ago."

"Yeah, well, that—it was—it's not the same!" Sharon sputtered.

"Well, I kind of hope it is, if we get stuck with her." Andy pecked her on the lips. "The whole 'falling in love with you' thing aside, anyway."

"Keep comparing me to her, and I'll be tempted to let you take your chances with her," Sharon muttered. "But, really, all of the options have been a thorn in our side at some point." For the most part, the animosity had to do with other divisions thinking that Major Crimes received favoritism when it came to resources and overtime hours, which Sharon had admittedly thought herself when she was in FID, but she mostly thought it was because of Brenda's and Pope's past relationship. Once she got more involved with Major Crimes and saw the kinds of things they had to deal with, and especially when she took over, she saw the need for such treatment. Lieutenant Daniels's animosity stemmed more from the terms of her departure from Major Crimes, despite the fact that Gabriel nor Brenda had been around in several years. Any time her division had any interaction with Major Crimes, she made things as difficult as possible for them.

A couple of hours later, Sharon and Andy got dinner in the oven and joined Emily, Rusty, and Eleanor outside. The toddler was on a blanket on the porch with her toys, and Emily and Rusty were sprawled out in chairs, talking and watching her play. Sharon knelt beside Eleanor and checked her diaper. "Come on, baby girl, let's get you changed really quick." Sharon gathered Eleanor in her arms and indicated for Rusty to follow her.

"What?" He asked, looking nervous.

"She's wet, and it's past time for you to pitch in with diaper changes every now and then. Andy and I don't like diaper changes any more than you do."

"Mo-om!" Rusty complained, begrudgingly following her inside.

"What if we had her on a weekend that Andy and I got rolled out?" Sharon pointed out.

Rusty rolled his eyes. "Then I could do it. It's not that I can't, I'd just rather not."

"Join the club." Sharon got what they needed and laid Eleanor on a changing pad. "Pull her pants down and unsnap her," she prompted when Rusty didn't move.

"I know that part," Rusty grumbled.

Sharon shrugged. "Well, you weren't moving." She handed him a wet wipe. "Wipe her down, make sure her diaper is even on the front and back, and tight enough, but not too tight, between her legs." Eleanor was kicking her legs and squirming around, but Rusty did a pretty good job of getting the diaper on her. "See? Was that so hard? Roll up the wet diaper and tape it closed with the tabs before you put it in the garbage." Sharon picked up the baby, poured a glass of wine for herself, and walked back outside.

Rusty gave Eleanor a bath soon after dinner, which he did pretty often, but Sharon usually put her diaper and pajamas on her afterward. This time, she stayed in the living room and let Rusty get her dressed for bed. By the time he got back to the living room with her, Eleanor was whimpering and rubbing her eyes. "Here, Mom, I think she's ready for bed." Sharon didn't usually rock her at night and just read to her and laid her in the pack and play when she got drowsy, but she wanted to let her get used to the new house before she did that now.

"Why don't you try rocking her tonight?" Sharon suggested. "We can skip the books, she looks like she's about to fall asleep. I don't think she'll give you much of a fight." She rubbed Eleanor's back and kissed her forehead. "You had a big day, huh? Night-night, sweetheart. Sleep tight."

Andy kissed Eleanor's cheek and ruffled her hair. "Goodnight, baby girl. Sweet dreams."

Rusty sat down in the recliner with Eleanor, and Sharon brought him a bottle of milk. "She'll probably be mostly asleep by the time her bottle's gone, anyway."

Rusty gave her the bottle and held her against his shoulder when she was finished, trying to mimic what he'd seen Sharon do with her, but Eleanor whimpered and struggled against him. "Get her, Mom, she's crying," Rusty said nervously.

"Hold her more tightly and pat her back," Sharon instructed. "She can tell you're nervous. Let me get ready for bed and turn her sound machine on, and I'll get her if she's still crying after that." She went back to her and Andy's room to wash her face, moisturize, and slip into her most comfortable nightgown. Having a toddler around for most of the day had been exhausting.

Eleanor was sleeping comfortably in Rusty's arms when she got back to the living room. "She's so sweet like this," Rusty said. "She's cute, but she'll wear you out."

"You have to stay on top of them all the time at this age," Sharon agreed. "Otherwise, you'll have to call a plumber because a toddler flushed a toy down the toilet or have to take said toddler to the doctor because she's stuffed something up her nose too far for me to get out." Sharon gave Emily a pointed look.

"You should've been watching me better," Emily said simply.

Later that night, Sharon and Andy left Emily and Rusty watching TV in the living room and went to bed. As Sharon slipped between the sheets, she was grateful, not for the first time, for the new king-sized bed. That had been a fight, but the extra space was worth the mournful and sad-puppy eyes she'd had to endure from Andy since the day she'd worn him down and won the argument. She felt like she'd just fallen asleep when Eleanor's cries woke her up, but the clock on her nightstand told her that it was 4:00 in the morning. Eleanor didn't normally wake up during the night unless something was wrong, so Sharon went ahead and got her up before she could wake Andy. "Honey, what's the matter?" She crooned as she lifted the baby into her arms. Not feeling well or the need for a diaper change was usually responsible for middle-of-the-night crying, so Sharon pressed her cheek to Eleanor's forehead and checked her diaper. "Hmm, no fever, and you're a little wet, but that shouldn't have woken you up," she murmured. "Let's get you into a dry diaper while we're up, and then you can get in bed with Andy and me." Eleanor was big enough for Sharon not to be afraid of putting her in their bed anymore, and she would probably wake up again in just a few hours, anyway. After a quick diaper change, Sharon got back in bed with Andy on one side and Eleanor on the other. Eleanor was one of the precious few exceptions to her 'don't touch me while I'm sleeping unless you have a death wish' rule, and she fell asleep with the baby cuddled into her side and grasping her hair.

When Sharon woke up again Sunday morning, it was after 8:00, and Eleanor was tapping her face and cooing. They'd both slept later than usual. "Well, hey, baby girl! Did you sleep good?" Sharon picked her up and followed the smell of coffee to the kitchen. She didn't normally drink much coffee on weekends, but she'd set the timer the night before, knowing she'd probably want it this morning. Andy wisely waited for Sharon to pour a mug and take a few sips before kissing the top her head and doing the same for Eleanor. "Morning. Is she okay? I checked on her when I woke up, and I was scared to death when she wasn't there until I realized she was beside you."

"Morning. She's fine. She woke up crying early this morning, but I think she was just a little out of sorts from being in a new place."

Emily barreled in as they were talking, faster than Sharon had ever seen her move first thing in the morning in her life. "Please tell me you have some pickles." Sharon had been prepared for this and got a jar from the refrigerator. She remembered seeing some in Emily's refrigerator when they'd visited her in New York, and she had craved them when she was pregnant with Emily, so she'd stocked up before she came to visit. Emily grabbed the jar from her, twisted the top off, and drank right out of the jar like she was going to die if she didn't have it right this second. "Oh, my god, that's so much better. I've been eating them, but I haven't really had a 'have-to-have-it-right-now craving for them yet."

"I craved them when I was pregnant with you, and they had to be Mount Olive Kosher Dill for me, too. That, and strawberry ice cream. But never at the same time." Sharon waited for Emily to come up for air before reaching into the jar and fishing out a pickle for herself. "I craved beef jerky with Ricky. I've never even liked it otherwise, but I ate my weight in it when I was pregnant with your brother."

Emily rolled her eyes. "Leave it to Ricky to make you crave something you don't even like."

"I know, right?" Sharon made some oatmeal for Eleanor and placed her in Emily's and Ricky's old high chair she'd gotten out of storage. By the time she outgrew it, there would be another baby around to use it. "I want to cook breakfast, but I don't know if Rusty will be up in time for me to need to make enough for him." Sharon had decided to skip mass in favor of a relaxing morning at home.

"I'll take care of that. Let me see your phone."

"Don't call him," Sharon said.

"I'm not, I promise. Just let me see your phone." Emily took Sharon's phone from her and opened the Google Home app. She, Ricky, and Rusty had gone in together and gotten one for Sharon and Andy as a housewarming gift. After looking through the names of the various speakers that were connected with it, she found the name associated with the one in Rusty's room, closed the app, gave Sharon's phone back to her, and turned toward the small device on the counter. "Hey, Google, play 'Barbie Girl' in Rusty's room."

"Emily!" Sharon chided, slipping a spoonful of oatmeal into Eleanor's waiting mouth.

"What? I didn't call him!"

Angry footsteps could then be heard coming down the hall, and a bleary-eyed and angry Rusty came in. "Emily! What the hell?! I wouldn't have gone in with you guys on that thing if I'd known you were going to do that with it!"

"Chill, little brother, I didn't have that idea until after we bought it. This is just a hilarious bonus."

"For you," Rusty muttered. "That's the worst song I've ever heard...That was not a challenge to prove me wrong, by the way." He took over feeding Eleanor, and Sharon and Andy started making breakfast.

While they were eating, Eleanor made her displeasure with still being stuck in her high chair known, so Emily lifted her out and held her in her lap as she finished eating. Eleanor was babbling in her own toddler language, and Emily wasn't paying her much attention until the baby grabbed her cheeks with her hands and turned Emily's head to face her. "What, was I not listening to you?" Emily cooed. "That's the cutest thing I've ever seen!"

Sharon nodded. "She's been doing that for a couple of months, now. You and Ricky used to do the same thing."

A couple of days later, Sharon went with Emily to look at a house she and Emmett had found online. Sharon could tell Emily wasn't too pleased with it, which was fine with her. She wanted them to find a house they really liked, and she selfishly wanted Emily under the same roof for a while, so she didn't want it to happen too soon. After their showing, they met one of Sharon's friends from their old neighborhood for lunch. It was a nice day, so they requested a table outside and waited for Janet to arrive. Emily eyed Sharon's glass of wine longingly. "My doctor actually said it was okay to drink a glass of wine every now and then, but I'm still a little afraid. It's tempting sometimes, though."

"Well, I was almost fifteen weeks along before I realized I was pregnant with you," Sharon admitted. "I was still smoking then, and I know I got drunk at least once with you, and I drank a little bit several nights a week before I found out I was pregnant. I just knew you were going to be born with two heads or something, but you were fine." Sharon gave Emily a playful look. "Mostly."

"Ha, ha. If something did go wrong, I would probably blame it on alcohol if I drank a little bit, whether there was another explanation or not. I might in a few months once it's mostly developed and just growing, though."

"Have you found a doctor here?"

Emily nodded. "Dr. Lawson. She's in Dr. Hughes's practice. I tried to get an appointment with him, but he doesn't deliver babies anymore. I was kind of disappointed, since he delivered me, but I know a couple of people who go to Dr. Lawson, and they said she's great."

"I've heard good things about her," Sharon agreed.

"My doctor in New York has already run some tests for genetic abnormalities since I'm...of advanced maternal age," Emily said, looking disgusted. "Because I'll be thirty-five when the baby's born, this is a geriatric pregnancy. That sounds so gross. Couldn't they have come up with a better term for that?" She took a sip of water. "I should get the results this week, and they'll be able to tell me whether it's a boy or a girl."

Sharon looked shocked. "Already?"

"Yep. They can tell from my blood this early. I hope they call while I'm still here."

Janet arrived then, and Sharon stood up to give her a hug. Emily followed suit after they'd greeted each other. "Hi, Mrs. Carlson."

"Emily, you're having a baby of your own in a few months. I think you can call me Janet. Congratulations, by the way!"

"Thank you! It wasn't exactly planned, but we're excited about it."

"You seem to be enjoying retirement," Sharon commented as she sipped her wine.

Janet nodded. "I keep Luke's baby once or twice a week, and I've been getting things done around the house that should've been taken care of years ago. I'm ready for you to join me. You're going to love it. And I'm so glad you live a little closer, now."

"I only have a few weeks left, and I'm looking forward to it," Sharon agreed. "Once the house is a little more in order, I want to have all of you guys over. That was a fun neighborhood."

Janet laughed. "It seems like just yesterday that we were sitting on the porch on Saturday nights while Emily, ever the performer, had all of the younger kids involved in some kind of performance for us."

"Ugh, let's not talk about that," Emily muttered.

"It was cute!" Janet insisted. "And it kept you guys entertained for hours, so that was always a win."

By the time they were paying the bill and saying their goodbyes, Sharon was starting to get excited about retirement again. Her emotions about it had been up and down since she started thinking about it, but she was convinced more than ever that the time was right.

Soon after they got home, Emily got the phone call from her doctor's office she'd been waiting for. "All of my tests were clear," Emily whispered to Sharon as she was listening to the nurse. "Yes, I do want to know the sex..." Emily covered the mouthpiece again. "It's a girl!" she squealed.

Sharon waited impatiently for Emily to get off of the phone before pulling her into a hug. "That's so exciting!" She would've been just as happy with a boy, but the excitement was really from being able to refer to the baby as something besides "it" and to have a better picture of what was coming.

"I need to go call Emmett," Emily said, hastily excusing herself to the porch.

Late the next afternoon, Sharon and Emily were preparing dinner while Rusty was at the kitchen table on his computer, feverishly hitting refresh, waiting for his LSAT score to be posted. Sharon almost dropped the dish she was putting in the oven when she heard him scream from the table. "167! Mom! I got a 167!"

"That's great, honey!" Sharon slammed the oven door closed, hurried over to Rusty, and threw her arms around him. "I knew you'd do well." With his grades and the glowing letters of recommendation he had from Andrea and Judge Grove, that was more than enough for him to get accepted to UCLA or USC.

A couple of weeks later, Sharon was alone in her office after announcing her impending retirement to the rest of the team. Her emotions had switched back to sadness about it today, and she could barely get any work done from the memories that were coming to her. She was pulled from her thoughts when Julio knocked softly on the side of her doorframe. "Ma'am? With Mark being here so much after school, I'm worried about the new commanding officer having a problem with it."

Sharon knew exactly where this was coming from. Andy had kept quiet about her retirement like she'd asked, but once that cat was out of the bag, it had taken him less than ten minutes to inform everyone of the potential replacements. How women had ever gotten stereotyped for gossiping had always been a mystery to her. If there was anything she'd learned from working with mostly men for much of her adult life, it was that men were bigger gossipers than any woman she had ever known. "Don't worry, Julio, Mark is always well-behaved, and he's never a problem. I'll make sure whoever takes my place knows that, and that they also know that they will have to deal with me if they give you any trouble about it." She gave him a reassuring look. "There's not one person on that list who wants to deal with me, I can promise you that."

"Thanks, ma'am. We'll miss you around here, but I hope you enjoy it."

"Thank you, Julio." Sharon stood by her window once he was gone, looking out over the city. Something about their conversation reminded her of one morning a few months after Rusty moved in with her.

December 2012

Sharon and Amy were in an interview room with a suspect when Sharon received a phone call from St. Joseph's. She'd had to leave for a crime scene in the middle of the night, and she hadn't realized that it was late enough in the morning for Rusty to have even been in school yet, much less to have already gotten in trouble. He'd been doing well since the debacle on the first day of school, but of course he picked another inopportune time to get in trouble again. Sharon showed Amy her phone screen so she'd know why Sharon was leaving the room and motioned at the camera for someone to come take her place. She was seething when she got off of the phone. Rusty had clearly taken advantage of her middle-of-the-night exit to skip school, obviously not knowing they would call her if he was absent without her calling in an excuse for him. He had gotten his permit while he was still living with his mother, so he'd been able to get his driver's license a few weeks ago and was driving her other car instead of having either her or a patrol car to take him to school. Sharon had meant to call him earlier to make sure he was awake, but time had gotten away from her, and he'd been good about getting up on his own in the mornings. Sharon stuck her head in the electronics room to quickly tell everyone else, minus Provenza, who had taken her place with Amy, what was going on and that she needed to leave.

"Should one of us come with you, ma'am?" Julio offered.

"Thanks, Julio, but I'll be fine. I should be back soon." With an undoubtedly sullen teenager in tow who will be spending the rest of the day with the cleaning crew. Sharon had made up an excuse that she could no longer remember when the receptionist called, wanting to keep Rusty off of the administration's radar since he had been doing so well, and she could punish him more severely than St. Joseph's could even think about, anyway. At the time, there was no reason to believe that he was in any kind of danger, but his murder witness status occurred to Sharon when she was halfway home, and her anger began to morph into fear. He didn't have any tests or an assignment due, so she couldn't imagine why he had skipped school and risked getting in trouble. She'd been calling his cell phone since she left the office, but it kept going to straight to voicemail. She doubted he would answer the condo's landline, but she called that next, simply because there was nothing else she could do at the moment. She got herself home as quickly as safety allowed, and she didn't know whether to be relieved or frightened when Rusty's car was in its rightful space. With one hand on her gun, she impatiently rode the elevator to the eleventh floor and quietly and carefully let herself inside. Nothing seemed to be amiss, but she was still cautious as she made her way down the hall to Rusty's room. He was still in bed, sleeping, like he didn't have a care in the world.

Sharon's fear quickly turned to anger again, and she flipped his light on and pulled his covers off of him. "Russell Thomas Beck! Get out of this bed at once. What the hell do you think you're doing?" Even if he had overslept, it was almost 10:00 by now, and there was no way he hadn't woken up at least once that morning. Especially with the condo phone ringing incessantly for the last ten minutes. "Do you have any idea how frightened I was when the school called and told me you weren't there?!"

Rusty groaned and hugged his arms to himself, chilled by the loss of his sheets and comforter. "One question at a time," he croaked. "And you just scared the living hell out of me, yourself. Relax, Sharon, I know I don't have to go to school if I'm sick. That doesn't deserve my middle name."

Sharon's expression softened. "You're not feeling well?" She sat on his bed to take a better look at him, and she pulled his sheets and comforter back up over him when she realized he seemed to be telling the truth. His cheeks were flushed, his eyes were weak and bright with fever, and his voice sounded painful. "I'm sorry, honey, but you still should've called me."

"Well, I didn't know you had St. Joseph's tracking my every move. You guys have a case?"

"Yes. I left at about 3:30 this morning." More times than not, it wasn't necessary for her to go to a scene right away, but unfortunately her presence had been required this time. "And that's school policy, Rusty. If you're going to be absent, I have to let them know. Otherwise, they'll call me to let me know you're not there. I also would've needed to make sure you were really sick before I let you stay home, and not trying to get out of a test or something." Sharon gently brushed his bangs back and felt his forehead. "Although, in this case, you're definitely sick." With relief flooding through her, she looked around his bed and his nightstand. "Where is your phone? I've been calling you, but it went straight to voicemail. And did you not hear the landline ringing?"

"I guess my phone's dead. I was going to text you earlier when I woke up and felt like crap, but I knocked it behind my nightstand when I reached for it. It was after 6:00, and I called out for you, but I thought you were still asleep. That's the last thing I remember before you charged in here like gangbusters."

"I'm sorry, honey." Sharon felt guilty now for not being there when he needed her. She got some Tylenol and a glass of juice for him from the kitchen. "I need to go back to work and regroup, but I should be back early this afternoon. Do you want something to eat before I go?" Rusty shook his head. Sharon fished his phone out from behind the nightstand and plugged in his charger.

"You don't have to come back, Sharon, I'll be fine."

"I know, but the team can handle the case, and I can still work on it from here and go back if I really need to. I'd rather not leave you alone when you're feeling so sick." Her thermometer had been nowhere to be found when she got the Tylenol from the mostly-untouched medicine cabinet, and she didn't remember seeing it since she'd moved to the condo. When she'd been sick herself, she hadn't bothered to check her own temperature, so she hadn't needed it since before Ricky left for college. Rusty's temperature didn't feel terribly high, but she was certain he was feverish. "I'll pick up something for lunch and buy some medicine for your throat on my way home. I'll get some other groceries, too, so text me what you want me to get. Let me know if you start feeling any worse." Sharon probably would've left Emily or Ricky for a longer period of time in this situation, but she had a more skilled team now that didn't require her constant supervision, and she felt a greater need to assure Rusty that she cared for him and would take care of him. As much as she hated to admit it, she was starting to see what Taylor meant when he told her that her new job had been a promotion in itself. She never would've been comfortable leaving her team in the middle of a reporting cycle in FID, and Provenza kept her from having to make an appearance every time her current team got rolled out in the middle of the night. Taylor didn't need to know any of that, though.


	24. Chapter 24

The following Monday morning, with the house mostly in order and Emily back in New York, Sharon sat on the back porch with a mug of coffee before she had to leave for work. She was going in early to catch up on the work she'd missed in the last two weeks, but she'd gotten up and dressed in time to have a few minutes of peace before she left. In her old house, the peaceful mornings she'd had once Ricky was in college were tainted by the fact that she was sad about no longer having children at home. There was no grouchy teenager to prod out of bed and to get dressed or any last-minute permission slips to sign or any number of school crises to deal with. While less chaotic mornings had been one of the few things she'd been looking forward to about having an empty nest, she hadn't anticipated the lack of chaos emphasizing the fact that she no longer had children at home. Moving to the condo, where she wasn't constantly reminded of her children being gone, had helped a lot in adjusting to that change in her life and making a fresh start. Now that she found herself on her back porch and enjoying a mug of coffee before work again, she was in a completely different place in her life. A place she never thought she'd find herself being. She'd been happy and content with her friends and family, and a serious relationship with a man, much less marriage, wasn't a path she had ever seen herself going down again. When she moved into the condo, she'd expected that to be her last move unless her health at some point prevented her from living alone. Opening her heart and home to a child in need, which helped her to open her heart to a man again later, had helped her get to this place.

After an uneventful day at work, Sharon found herself on the porch again, this time with a glass of wine. She'd missed unwinding after a long day on the porch with music playing and her favorite chardonnay. She'd been able to do that in the condo, and the city views were gorgeous and relaxing, but she preferred the coziness and beauty of her own backyard. Of course, in her old house, she'd played music via a CD player and outdoor speakers, but now her phone and the small speaker designated for the porch could get the job done. If she wanted to hear something specific, she could switch media and get Alexa off of her lazy ass instead of scrolling through her phone or having to add something she didn't have to her iTunes first. Andy was cooking dinner and Rusty was staying at the condo for the next couple of nights, so she had some time to herself. Sometimes she and Andy cooked together, and other times one or the other or Rusty cooked by themselves. There were also times where it just wasn't going to happen and one of them picked up take-out on the way home. With Jack, having her husband cooking dinner eventually did nothing for her except raise her suspicions. He was surprisingly a pretty good cook, but the longer they were married, the more likely it was that his initiative to cook was motivated by knowing he was about to be in the doghouse for something or other.

Andy joined Sharon on the porch once dinner was in the oven. "I saw Davis on the elevator when I was leaving work, and she asked me how I was doing. What the hell?! You don't think that means anything, do you?"

Sharon shrugged. "Maybe it means that everyone has good qualities and that things aren't always what they seem."

Andy groaned. "I knew you were going to say some bullshit like that!"

Several weeks later

By the middle of May, Sharon's retirement was official, she and Andy had taken their honeymoon to Ireland, Emily, Emmett, and Rusty were all now permanent residents for the foreseeable future, and Sharon and Emily had taken an extended visit to her parents' house. Sharon's retirement party had been attended by her children, siblings, and some of their family members, the entire Major Crimes division and their families, various officers from other divisions with whom she'd either worked with in FID or otherwise had become friends with through the years, Fritz and Brenda, Andrea, Gavin, Sharon's closest friends from church and her old neighborhood, and a couple of college friends she still kept in touch with. Lieutenant Hernandez from Robbery Homicide, now Captain, had taken over Major Crimes, and that transition was...Well, it was going. Provenza hadn't taken the news of being passed over very well, but he was adjusting. Ireland had been just as beautiful and romantic as she'd imagined it to be, and the trip had ended all too soon. The visit with her parents had been relaxing and filled with visits with old high school friends and her brother's family, and now she was back at home to settle into retirement life.

Ricky arrived for the week one Friday night, as his presence was required in L.A. for work the next week, and it was odd for Sharon to have all of her children home at once when it wasn't a holiday or special occasion. She certainly wasn't complaining. Ricky had to come to L.A. for work a couple of times a year, but those trips never coincided with Emily's visits home. They all gathered in the living room after dinner, as it was pouring rain outside and no one had any plans for the evening. "Ooh, Titanic...Damn it, it's the end," Emily said as Ricky scrolled through the channel listings.

"Yeah, because that's why we won't be watching that movie," Ricky muttered.

"Damn it, it's the end," Andy added with mock disappointment.

Sharon shrugged. "I wouldn't mind watching Leonardo DiCaprio for a few hours."

"Ooh, same here," Rusty agreed.

Emmett wrinkled his nose. "It's a little too depressing for my taste."

"Ricky, I'm your pregnant sister," Emily urged, hoping to break the tie in her favor. "I'm about to give you a niece. She will adore you and sit in your lap and call you Uncle Ricky and—"

Ricky rolled his eyes. "Oh, wow, I was here for three whole hours before you threw that in my face. Are you getting soft?"

"You wish."

"Well..." Ricky looked thoughtful. "Kate Winslet does wear low-cut dresses and gets almost naked. I guess I'm in."

"Traitor," Andy mumbled.

Ricky navigated to the Netflix app on the TV and searched for the movie. "What the hell?! It's not on Netflix? And who's been watching When Calls the Heart?" He asked, seeing the recently viewed shows. "Isn't that some girly Hallmark show?"

Sharon looked confused. "Not me."

"I've never even heard of it," Rusty said.

All eyes turned to Andy. "Huh. Maybe someone, uh, hacked your account."

"To watch When Calls the Heart?!" Ricky cackled. "Nice try, Andy."

"Hold on, let me log into my Hulu. Maybe it's there," Emily said, changing the subject. She took the remote from Ricky. "Nope, not there, either. We can rent it on Amazon if it's not on Prime."

Sharon went to the kitchen to get a glass of wine, and the movie was loading when she got back and wedged herself into the recliner beside Andy. Petey, Emily's gray and white cat, sauntered into the living room and looked around, silently calculating who in the room wanted his presence in their lap the least. He headed straight toward Sharon and Andy. "Oh, no, you don't, you little furball," Sharon warned.

Undaunted, Petey jumped up into the chair and plopped down in Sharon's lap. She knew pushing him off wouldn't do any good, since he would repeatedly jump back into her lap until she gave up, so she settled against Andy and accepted her fate.

"I can't believe I'm watching this chick flick," Andy muttered.

Ricky grinned. "Oh, sorry, Andy, would you rather watch When Calls the Heart?"

"It's a good show!" Andy protested. "I like history, and it has Aunt Becky from Full House. You can't go wrong with that."

Emily had been obsessed with Titanic when it first came out, so Sharon had seen it enough times to be desensitized to it by now. The same clearly couldn't be said for Andy. They all knew what was coming, but Sharon was surprised to hear sniffling beside her. She looked over at Andy. "Are you crying?"

"No!" Andy quickly wiped his eyes, but he was still tearing up. "It's just my allergies."

Sharon gave him a disbelieving look. "Allergies? Since when?"

"Since there was enough room for both of them on that damn door, and Jack didn't have to die!"

Sharon couldn't help but laugh. "Is that why you didn't want to watch this? I'm sorry, Andy, I'm just surprised. It's okay, we won't tease you—"

"Whoa, Mom, I never agreed to that," Emily interrupted. "I'm kidding, Andy, I just didn't peg you as a movie crier." She giggled. "But you have to admit that a cop crying over Titanic is pretty funny."

Andy wasn't fazed by the banter and was still stuck on the door concept. "But seriously! Even if they didn't both get on the door, Rose could've moved over just a little so Jack wasn't mostly in the water and didn't get so cold! This is such bullshit!"

Sharon wasn't even trying not to laugh by now. All three kids and Emmett were laughing good-naturedly, too, so she didn't see the point of trying to suppress it. "Is this the first time you've seen this?"

"Are you kidding? Nicole was obsessed with this movie. I wasn't around her much when this movie came out, but I still managed to see it more than once. And had the privacy of the dark and more of my own space so I could weep in peace!"

"Awww, Andy." Sharon sat further up in the chair and held his head to her shoulder. "That was actually pretty hot," she whispered. "Maybe I'll have to cheer you up later." She kissed a stray tear at the corner of his eye and wiped his eyes with her thumbs.

Andy tilted his chin up and kissed her. "I could get on board with that."

"Ewww, are they being gross?" Rusty whined.

"If they're awake, then the odds are in your favor," Emily grumbled. "Seriously, you guys, get a room."

Later that night, after Sharon had cheered Andy up as promised, they both had a bit of a second wind. "It finally stopped raining. Let's sit on the porch for a while," Sharon suggested.

"Sounds good," Andy agreed. They stopped in the kitchen long enough for Andy to get a glass of water and for Sharon to pour a glass of wine. They were alarmed at first to hear a piercing scream down the hall, but the muffled giggling and shushing made Sharon realize exactly what was going on. "Ugh, Rusty can whine all he wants, but hearing your child having sex has to be worse than hearing your parents," she moaned. Ricky and Rusty were in their rooms and probably had earphones in, the lucky bastards.

Andy's eyes widened. "Is that what that was?!"

"Pregnancy hormones," Sharon explained. "There's nothing in this world like a pregnant orgasm."

"Sounds like it," Andy agreed. "I don't remember it being anything like that."

"It doesn't affect everyone that way, but I guess I was one of the lucky ones. And so is Emily, obviously."

"So, uh, did you ever walk in on your parents?" Andy asked once they were settled in the porch swing. "I remember walking in on mine when I was five or six after having a nightmare, and I didn't realize what they were doing until several years later.

"Ew, Andy, parents don't have sex, you know that."

"Oh, really?" Andy nipped at her neck. "If what we just did wasn't considered sex, then I'm looking forward to finding out what your idea of it is. We're married, now, it's a little ridiculous for you to still be holding out."

Sharon laughed. "I actually did walk in on mine once. I was in the third grade and woke up not feeling well. Their door was locked, but I had no idea they might be doing that. I just thought they were asleep, and I knew how to unlock the doors in their house from the other side, so I let myself in. I was frozen solid, and they didn't realize I was there until they were finished." She took a sip of wine. "I was half-asleep, and next thing I knew, my dad was picking me up and carrying me to the kitchen to give me some medicine. He was wearing pajamas by then, and I don't remember him being naked at any point. He explained it away somehow, and I didn't realize until a few years later what they were doing. I knew what sex was, but I thought people only had sex to have babies and then stopped. I couldn't imagine why anyone would do that when they weren't having anymore children!" She kissed Andy's cheek. "Thank god I figured it out. Dad just took care of me, tucked me back into bed, and lay down with me until I went back to sleep, acting like nothing was wrong."

Andy chuckled. "That's pretty funny. We didn't have to worry about that with our kids. By the time they were old enough to walk in on us, there wasn't much sex being had."

"Emily caught us once," Sharon admitted, "but she wasn't old enough to know what was happening. She probably doesn't even remember. She was three, and I was pregnant with Ricky. I was afraid we'd woken her up, but she'd just had an accident. I've never been so happy to change wet sheets!"

"Yeah, I, uh, usually slept through that part," Andy said sheepishly.

"I didn't have a choice. I was always the one they woke up. By the time Emily stopped, Ricky was starting, and then Jack was gone, anyway. Emily didn't do it that often, but Ricky was the stereotypical boy. From the time Emily was born until Ricky was about six, I might've slept through the night four times."

The next morning, Sharon felt warmth against her face before she opened her eyes. In her drowsy state, she didn't know what it was at first, but as her senses started to wake up, she realized that it was also furry warmth. She opened her eyes and was met with a gray and white, furry ass in her face. "What the—Emily!" She bellowed. "Come get your damn cat!"

Emily sleepily shuffled in a couple of minutes later and gathered Petey in her arms. "Sorry, Mom." Emily was usually grouchy in the mornings, and Sharon was a little surprised by the lack of sarcasm. Ugh, pregnancy sex with a devoted and attentive husband. What was that like?

Later that morning, Sharon wanted to get some things put up on the walls that had been delivered that week, and Ricky, Rusty, and Emmett started opening the boxes and pulling things out. Sharon looked around. "Where did Andy go? Is he still on the porch?"

"I'll find him." Emily looked around for the Google Home device. "Hey, Google, play My Heart Will Go On on Home Speakers."

Every speaker in the house started playing the song, and Andy came in from the porch and slammed the door. "Make fun of me all you want, but they were soulmates! You guys are just made of stone."

Emily grinned. "Told you I'd find him."

"Sorry, Andy, but I was woken up by the fucking Spice Girls blaring in my ears this morning," Ricky spoke up. "I can't say I have any sympathy for you. And now I can't get Wannabe out of my head."

"I'm just glad she's giving me a break with that damn thing," Rusty muttered. "Is there a way to ban her from it?"

Sharon rolled her eyes. "Nope. I've already looked."

By lunchtime, everything had been put up to Sharon's satisfaction. "All right, this is probably the last of home purchases for a while."

"Hold on, don't put that out in the universe just yet," Andy said. "I've got some stock in Bloomingdale's and Pottery Barn I want to unload first."

Sharon swatted at him. "Very funny." Andy had been involved in the decisions about furniture and some other things around the house, but he couldn't really care less about the decor. She'd asked him what he thought about everything she picked out, but he'd mostly just given her a vague "uh-huh" for those kinds of things. With the house in order and and the post-retirement trips complete, Sharon was ready to settle into retirement and relax for a couple of weeks before she established a routine for herself.


	25. Chapter 25

For a couple of weeks, Sharon filled her days with sipping a couple of mugs of coffee on the porch and getting things done around the house in the mornings, enjoying the pool in the afternoons, and reading in the swing in the evenings once dinner was in the oven. It was a much-needed break after retiring, her honeymoon, and visiting her parents, but she tired of it fairly quickly, just as she'd known she would. On a Monday in June, she was enjoying her last day of idleness, as she planned to go to St. Joseph's the next morning to inquire about volunteer opportunities. For today, she was floating around in the pool with her book and Captain Morgan. She felt like she'd read more in the last few weeks than in her entire life, but she wasn't complaining. The weather had been mostly in the seventies and low eighties, so it hadn't been too hot. She had music playing from the porch, and she never knew if it was music that made her want a drink or alcohol that made her want good music, but her rum and pineapple juice with a splash of cranberry and sprite was melding pretty well with John Mellencamp. She hadn't made a habit of drinking during the day, but she'd allowed herself a couple of light drinks two or three afternoons a week.

The winter days, they last forever

And the weekends went by so quick

Went ridin' around this little country town

We were goin' nuts, girl, out in the sticks

One night me with my big mouth

A couple guys had to put me in my place

When I see those guys these days

We just laugh and say do you remember when

That's when a smoke was a smoke

And groovin' was groovin'

And dancin' meant everything

We were young and we were improvin'

Laughin' laughin' with our friends

Holding hands meant somethin' baby

Outside the club "Cherry Bomb"

Our hearts were really pumpin'

Say yeah yeah yeah

Say yeah yeah yeah

Seventeen has turned thirty-five

I'm surprised that we're still livin'

If we've done any wrong

I hope that we're forgiven

Got a few kids of my own

And some days I still don't know what to do

I hope that they're not laughin' too loud

When they hear me talkin'

Like this to you

Emily came out of the house, dressed in her swimsuit, and got on another float in the pool. At almost seven months, she was getting more uncomfortable, but a float in the pool usually did the trick. She and Emmett hadn't wanted to rush to get married before the baby was born, so they'd set the date for January. It didn't really matter, as far as the church was concerned, but Emily wanted them to be married before the baby was baptized. "Blair just called, and she and our other high school friends want to give me a baby shower. She told me to go ahead and start thinking about dates for a wedding shower, too."

Sharon looked over at Emily and noticed that she didn't seem too happy about it. "Your friends want to give you a couple of showers? That sounds just awful!" She said, with mock sympathy.

Emily rolled her eyes. "I just feel like I'm doing this all in the wrong order. I don't feel like I've done anything wrong, but with the wedding and the baby getting more real, I kind of wish we'd just gone ahead and planned a quick wedding before the baby came."

"Em, there was no need for you guys to do that. Unlike me, I'm sure this will be your only wedding." Sharon gave her a wry smile and sipped her drink. "You should enjoy it. You and Emmett are giving this baby a family that loves her and will take care of her, and that's all that matters. The order in which you do this isn't important."

"I know, but with the showers that are being planned and everything, it's just making me more aware of the fact that I'm having a baby before I'm married. Everyone's been great about it, and I haven't really thought much about it until now, but it just seems off or something."

Sharon was a little surprised that Emily was starting to feel the old Catholic Guilt, but she understood. "Once things pick up and you don't have time to overthink everything, I think you'll feel better about it. This in-between stage is unsettling, in general, and I know you've never liked change."

Emily nodded. "I think you're right. Thanks, Mom."

"You're welcome." Sharon placed her drink beside the pool and flipped over to lie on her stomach. Despite slathering herself with sunscreen every day, she was still getting a little bit of a tan. Any skin damage she had from the sun had probably mostly happened during the baby oil and iodine days of her teenaged years and young adulthood, anyway, when the sun's rays weren't thought to be anything but healthy. She wasn't in the pool for the purpose of tanning, but she loved to be in the water and feel the sun soaking into her skin. She'd never been much of a swimmer for exercise, but she'd been making herself swim a few laps most afternoons. Once she got herself settled into a more productive routine, she planned to take either morning or evening walks around the neighborhood, but she'd stick with floating around the pool for now.

A couple of hours later, with dinner in the oven, Sharon assumed her evening perch in the swing with her book and a glass of wine. Andy came home soon after that and joined her on the porch. "Am I just going to have to get used to being a swing widow?" He teased. Their evening dynamics had definitely changed since they moved. At the condo, Sharon sometimes sat on the balcony for a while in the evenings after watering the flowers, but she was still usually inside for most of the evenings. Now, she usually went inside just long enough to eat dinner and help clean the kitchen before going straight back to the porch.

"You can always come out here," Sharon pointed out.

"But the game will be on in there," Andy protested.

"True..." Sharon looked around. "We should put a TV out here. It would be nice to watch football out here this Fall."

"Then you'd never go inside." Andy pecked her on the lips. "How was your day?"

"It was nice, but I'm ready to get out of the house. I'm going to start at church tomorrow, but I think I'd like to pick one or two places and stick with them for a while instead of doing things here and there like the people at church do. I know they'll be able to steer me in the right direction, though." Sharon closed her book. "What about you? Is Captain Hernandez any better?"

Andy heaved a dramatic sigh. "She sent my paperwork back three times before it was finally good enough for her! And I thought you were a perfectionist."

Sharon had been a stickler about paperwork at the beginning, but she quickly learned to appreciate the talents her team had in other areas of investigations and gave up on perfect paperwork from them. "She'll learn to pick her battles, just like I did."

"Pick your battles? You sound like you're talking about toddlers!" Andy whined.

"Well, some days I felt like I was dealing with toddlers." Sharon kissed Andy and went inside to check on dinner, and Andy went inside to change clothes. Sharon peeked into the living room first, and Emily was watching TV with a jar of pickles in her lap. Sharon still wasn't used to Emily not being pencil-thin. Her face had filled out a little, and her legs were actually a little bigger than twigs. "Dinner will be ready soon...By the time this baby comes, I'm going to forget what you look like without a jar of pickles in your hand!"

"I know, right? If it's not pickles, it's watermelon. At least I'm not craving something terribly unhealthy."

Sharon nodded. "Yeah, like the strawberry ice cream that's still on my thighs thirty-five years later."

Emily rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Mom, your legs are, like, perfect."

"They're not perfect, but I'll take it. Is Emmett still working?"

Emily nodded. "He's been on a call since we came inside, but he should be almost done."

A couple of weeks later, Sharon had found a couple of women's shelters to volunteer with and was getting herself settled into a routine. The organizations were poorly staffed, and their bookkeeping and budgets were a mess. According to Sharon's standards, anyway. The years of being a commanding officer and having to deal with budgets all the time were coming in handy. She had spent most of her time there sifting through and organizing records and restructuring their budgets to help them spend the little funding they had in a more efficient manner. Seeing women and children in such dismal circumstances was heartbreaking, but there wasn't a single day where she didn't come home with her heart full. Once she helped get their finances under control, her next goal was to improve the career-development programs, but she had a while to go before she could get into that. She was volunteering three or four days a week for four or five hours each day, so she still had plenty of time to herself. Depending upon what was going on, she sometimes put in more hours, and the routine she'd established for herself was a perfect balance between staying vital and having time to enjoy retirement.

One Monday morning in July, Sharon was still in her pajamas, sipping coffee on the porch and reading her devotion when Andy left for work. She didn't mind getting up early when she didn't have to rush around to get herself dressed and out the door.

"I'm so jealous," Andy moaned as he kissed her goodbye.

"You only have about two years left," Sharon encouraged him. Andy had enrolled in the DROP program about three years after Sharon had, when it was apparent that the LAPD promotion freeze wasn't going anywhere. He didn't have any desire to be the commanding officer of a division, anyway, and if he got a promotion, then responsibility for a division would've come with it. Even if he wasn't ready to stop working by the time his five years were over, he could try to find something part-time with the City or something, or, like Sharon had considered when she enrolled, he was fairly certain he could extend his time with the LAPD after five years if he wanted to. At this point, he really couldn't imagine wanting to stay there a second longer than he had to, so he was glad he'd enrolled in the DROP program when he did.

Sharon took her time making herself some breakfast and taking a walk around the neighborhood. The morning air was cool, and listening to music through her phone always made her walks go by fairly quickly. She finally made herself go inside almost an hour later. After taking a shower, she gathered Emily's and Ricky's old books and toys she'd gotten from her now-cleared-out storage unit. When she'd first gotten them out, she planned to save them for grandchildren, but the children at the women's shelters where she was volunteering would be a perfect home for them. Once that was done, she went through her closet and started sorting through her clothes. She was going to keep a few of her favorite shoes, dresses, skirts, and blazers, but she was taking a good bit of her work wardrobe to the shelters to donate for women to wear on job interviews. Volunteering didn't require anything more formal than shorts and a top. She texted Andrea and asked her to look through her own closet for clothes she didn't wear anymore when she had time.

As Sharon was driving home that afternoon, a woman from the shelter was on her mind. She was a bright young woman, and her quick wit and sarcastic tendencies reminded her a lot of Andrea. An idea was forming in her mind, and she called Andrea when she got home to discuss it. By the time they were off of the phone, Andrea had agreed to allow the woman to shadow some of the administrative staff in her office and to later try to help her find a job. The woman hadn't worked since before her six-year-old daughter was born, and she'd been in the shelter for almost a year after finally fleeing from her abusive husband.

With that settled, Sharon changed into her swimsuit, applied sunscreen, and dove into the pool. The day had turned hot, and the water felt amazing. She was so ready for Fall, when there would be a new baby to love and nights cool enough to build a fire outside. The music playing from the porch and the hot sunshine was starting to lull her to sleep, and she was startled when she heard someone jump into the pool.

Andy surfaced and made his way toward her. "God, this feels great. It's hotter than rats humping in a wool sock out here."

Sharon gave him an amused smile. "It's not that hot. What time is it?" She'd stayed at the shelter longer than she'd intended, so her sense of time was thrown off. She wasn't expecting Andy to be home yet.

"It's a little after 6:00. You don't need to go inside yet, I went ahead and started dinner."

"Thanks." Sharon slipped off of her float and leaned against it as they drifted around the pool.

Andy swam around for a few minutes and got another float. "I heard Cooper's taking a job with the City."

"Amy's Cooper?"

Andy nodded. "That's the one. I haven't seen him since I heard, but that's the rumor."

"Hmmm. That's interesting."

"That will probably be good for him and Amy, though. I know they don't work together that much, but they still have a lot of years ahead of them." Andy turned his head to the side to shake some water out of his ear. "They're the same rank, now, and they could end up being in competition for promotions or even in the same division again down the road."

Sharon nodded. "But I have a feeling that will also cause the 'children or no children' debate to resurface. I remember Amy saying that she didn't want to have children with both parents being cops, but I think that was more of an excuse."

"That's interesting. I've heard her joke about not wanting them before, but I never realized she was serious."

"I don't really know any more than you do," Sharon clarified, "that was just the impression I got. I think Amy would enjoy having children, but it wouldn't really surprise me if she didn't want them, either. I was actually a lot like her before I had children. I wasn't sure I wanted any at all, and if I did, I wanted them a little later in life than I had them."

Andy raised his eyebrows. "Really? I knew you had Emily sooner than you intended, but I didn't know you weren't sure whether you wanted children at all."

"Yeah. I liked kids well enough, but I also liked giving them back to their parents. You can't exactly do that when they're you're own."

Andy chuckled. "I guess not."

"Have you heard how Amy's doing in CI? I've been meaning to call her."

Andy nodded. "She came up to the ninth floor one day last week. I think she's enjoying it."

A little while later, they went inside. Sharon changed into shorts and a t-shirt and went to the living room to talk to Emily while Andy was in the shower. Emily looked uncomfortable, and the way she was sitting and occasionally shifting her position was a little familiar to Sharon, but she couldn't quite place what the problem was. "I'm going to go to CVS really quick," Emily announced after looking at her phone for a few minutes.

For some reason, that declaration suddenly made Sharon realize what was wrong. "Oh, we have some Preparation-H in our bathroom, if that's what you need."

"How did you know?!" Emily asked.

Sharon shrugged. "You're pregnant, and you can't seem to sit comfortably. Wild guess."

"This is disgusting," Emily mumbled. "I had to google it just to see what the hell was wrong with me."

"I'll be right back." Sharon returned a few moments later with a small tube in her hand.

"Thanks...You guys just happened to have some?" Emily asked, wrinkling her nose.

"We're both over sixty, honey, we probably have a wider medical selection than CVS."

Several weeks later, it was Labor Day weekend. Summer had flown by. Sharon and Andy hosted a little end-of-Summer gathering the Saturday before Labor Day. Eleanor was with them for the weekend, and Emily was less than a week away from her due date. After an early lunch on Saturday, Sharon went to the grocery store for some last-minute items, and of course she came home with bags full of baby items, too.

"Jesus, Sharon, you have to have already set some kind of record for most things bought for an unborn human," Andy grumbled as he looked through the bags.

"I know, but that baby clothing boutique was having a Labor Day sale, and..."

"I don't think a sale does much good when you buy everything in the store," Andy remarked.

"I didn't buy everything. There might have been a blanket or two left on the shelf."

"Shocking."

Sharon looked up as Rusty came in the back door with an unhappy Eleanor in his arms. They'd been in the pool since she left the house. Eleanor struggled to get down and toddled over to Sharon. "Hold you," she whined, reaching her arms up.

"I think I'm a little heavy for you to hold," Sharon commented as she lifted the toddler into her arms. She knew what she meant, she was just giving her a hard time. Eleanor had been saying "hold you" when she wanted to be held for several weeks, now. Ricky had also had a little trouble with personal pronouns at this age.

"She is C-R-A-N-K-Y," Rusty muttered.

"I imagine so, it's time for her to take a nap. The pool probably wore her out, too." Eleanor yawned and lay down on Sharon's shoulder. "All right, baby girl, let's get you ready for a nap. I wouldn't mind one, myself." Sharon hadn't slept very well the night before, so she was yawning along with Eleanor. When Emily and Ricky were small, Sharon had always loved to tire them out in the pool on Saturdays so they would take long naps. She'd tuck them into her bed, get some housework done, and then lie down and nap with them.

Sharon carried Eleanor back to her bathroom, removed her swim diaper, and gave her a little bird bath before putting a clean diaper and t-shirt on her. Andy came in a minute later, and Sharon held Eleanor out to him. "Will you hold her for just a minute? I'm going to put some pajamas on and start that dip before I lie down with her."

"Sure." Andy took Eleanor from Sharon and turned on the sound machine. Eleanor was half asleep, and he realized he could use a nap, too. He lay down with her, and next thing he knew, Sharon was impatiently poking him. "Whaaaaat?!"

"You stole my nap!" Sharon hissed.

"When I give the tiniest little crap, you'll be the first to know. It's a king-sized bed, Sharon, there's more than enough room for you," he pointed out.

"It's not the same! Eleanor's all cuddled into you."

"But you don't like anyone touching you while you're sleeping!" Andy reminded her with a grin.

"I know, but...Babies are just different! I don't know—"

"Shh, Sharon, don't wake her up."

"You'll pay for this," Sharon grumbled. She climbed in on the other side of Eleanor and drifted off. When she woke up again, Petey was curled up against her. Ugh, that damn cat. All right, fine, she liked him a tiny bit more than she'd let on to Emily, but he was still a pain in the ass. Andy and Eleanor were still passed out.

Sharon did some last-minute cleaning and made sure all of the food and beverages were ready to go. Guests would be arriving in a couple of hours. A little while later, Sharon went back to the bedroom to get herself dressed. Andy was sitting up and reading, and Eleanor was starting to stir beside him. By the time Sharon was dressed, Eleanor had woken up, and Andy was changing her diaper. "Oh, my...Hey, Sharon, a little help? This is a bad one."

"When I give the tiniest little crap, you'll be the first to know," Sharon answered with an evil grin. She stood beside Andy and peered down at Eleanor. "That doesn't look like a tiny crap, so you're on your own for now."

A couple of hours later, Sharon poured a glass of wine for herself and looked around at what had started as a small gathering. The guest list had started as being the former Major Crimes division and some of her other friends, but with the long weekend, several of her friends had family in town, so the crowd was bigger than originally planned. She was glad it had worked out this way. Some of her friends had grandchildren she hadn't either seen in person at all or hadn't seen in a long time, and she was glad to have to chance to see them and to speak with her friends' children she hadn't seen in a while. The pool was full of kids, and as she looked around, she noticed Julio talking to a friend's divorced daughter, who was a little older than Emily. A football game was playing on the TV Emmett had recently mounted over the fireplace on the porch, and Sharon was so happy to have football back in her life, she could hardly stand it. It was a fun night, and she was happy to have gotten back in the habit of keeping up with her old friends.

Sharon and Andy spent most of Monday by the pool. Rusty had started law school a little over a week before, and he was holed up in his room studying. He'd gotten a good bit done over the weekend, despite Eleanor being there, but he wanted to take advantage of the extra day off from class to get more work done. Emily was inside on the couch, and the closer she got to her due date, the moodier she was. Poor Emmett couldn't do anything right. He'd alternated between staying inside with Emily and coming outside to escape her wrath for breathing or whatever his most recent crime was.

Sharon and Andy went inside to start dinner late that afternoon, and Emmett and Emily were arguing in the living room. Sharon ignored them until she heard "doctor" mentioned a couple of times. "What's going on?" She asked as she entered the living room.

"I'm fine," Emily muttered.

"She's had a headache for most of the day, and she's barely gotten off of the couch today," Emmett reported. "Her legs are swollen, too."

"They've been swollen for weeks!" Emily protested. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm kind of pregnant."

Sharon studied Emily closely. Emmett was right, something was off. "Your cheeks are a little flushed, too…Hold on a second." She found Andy's wireless blood pressure monitor and brought it back to Emily. It had given them both a little peace of mind since his heart attack, and it was going to be useful here, too. Any of Emily's symptoms could have very well just been part of pregnancy, but Sharon wanted to make sure.

"You can't be serious!" Emily whined, recognizing the purpose of the device as Sharon attached it to her arm. "But I can honestly say I'm not surprised."

"High blood pressure at this stage can be dangerous, Em, you need to check it." Sharon was relieved when it was only slightly elevated, but Emmett still called the doctor's office and left a message. The poor man's nerves were shot, and Emily was acting like he was being ridiculous. An on-call doctor called back a few minutes later and assured them that the current level wasn't enough for Emily to be admitted to the hospital, but that she needed to come in if her symptoms got worse or her blood pressure got any higher.

Before they went to bed, Emmett was trying to talk Emily into going to the hospital. Nothing had changed, but Sharon had a feeling that Emmett wasn't going to get a bit of sleep that night. They were still arguing when Sharon went to bed, and she was woken up a few hours later by Emily. "Are you all right? What's the matter?" Sharon sat up and turned her lamp on, instantly on alert.

"Yeah, we're just going to the hospital."

"What?! Why—"

Emily grinned. "My water broke."

"Oh, my god!" Sharon jumped out of bed and pulled Emily into her arms. "Go! Call me when you're in a room."

Emily rolled her eyes. "You've done this twice, Mom, you know it takes hours."

"I don't care! Now, go!"

"The hell is all that racket?!" Andy muttered, not bothering to open his eyes.

Sharon leaned down and kissed him. "We're about to be grandparents again."


	26. Chapter 26

Andy sat up and rubbed his eyes as he watched Sharon bustling around the room, getting dressed and gathering her things like the miracle of life wasn't usually a long and agonizing process. "Uh...Sharon...Why don't you at least wait for Emily to call and see if she has an idea of how close she is?" He said sensibly. "It can take hours."

"Oh, really?" Sharon asked with feigned surprise as she pulled her hair up and secured it with a clip. "I had no idea!"

Andy ran his hand over his face, not in the mood to argue. He'd walked right into that one, and he knew it, but it seemed a little ridiculous for someone who was well aware of the fact that labor wasn't typically a quick process to be running around like a chicken with its head cut off in the middle of the night like she might miss something if she didn't leave right now. "I know you know that, obviously, but you might want to make sure you'll be able to get in. I know Emily said you probably wouldn't have any trouble after visiting hours, but that might depend upon who's working at the time. She does have to get approval, and you don't want to rush to the hospital just to sit in the waiting room for hours."

"I guess you're right..." Sharon knew there was no way she'd be going back to sleep, though, so she quickly finished getting herself ready and turned the lamp back off. "Go back to sleep. Call me when you get up in the morning." She kissed Andy's cheek and left the room. While she was waiting for Emily to call, she went to her and Emmett's bedroom to gather any last-minute items Emily might've forgotten. Her bag had been packed for over a month, but she still could've left behind some things she wanted. In their haste to leave, they'd left the damp sheets on the bed, so she stripped the bed and put the sheets in the washing machine. After packing a small bag with extra towels, hair ties, makeup wipes, her robe, and a few other things, she put fresh sheets on the bed and straightened up the bedroom and bathroom. Once that was done, she dug through the small fourth bedroom that had been taken over by baby stuff in the last few months. When she found the little rock 'n play that Emily was going to try for the baby to sleep in first, which her friends had sworn by, she set it up beside their bed and went back to the other bedroom to move the washed-and-waiting newborn clothes into Emily's and Emmett's room. After checking her phone for the thousandth time to make sure she hadn't missed a call and that it wasn't on vibrate, she gathered some newborn nightgowns, swaddles, pacifiers, and a couple of other things to have out and within easy reach for the first few days. With the baby stuff out and the cradle-like device beside the bed, the baby's pending arrival became a lot more real, and Sharon couldn't help but let out a tiny squeal as she looked around the room. She was going to have a new granddaughter under her roof in the next couple of days, and she couldn't be more excited about it.

When Emily finally called and confirmed that Sharon would be allowed to visit, she didn't waste any time getting to St. John's. She would just have to call the unit and use the Emergency Department entrance. Emily had debated between St. John's and Cedars, but one of the perks of having her first baby at 35 was that several of her friends had not only started having children, but that she had at least a couple of friends who had used one of the hospitals, and some had used both and could compare the pros and cons. Between her high school and college friends, she still had several in the LA area. "Mom, I told you not to speed!" Emily chastised when Sharon came in her room. "I just got the epidural, and they haven't even given me Pitocin yet. It's going to be a minute."

"I know, but I remember how frightened I was when I went into labor with you. Your dad was actually great during it, but I still wished Mimi could've been with me." Sharon put her things down, sat on Emily's bed, and brushed her hair back from her face. "If you want me to leave at any time, I will, and I'll understand."

"I am glad you're here. This hospital's visiting hours aren't as strict as Cedars, and that was a huge selling point," Emily admitted. Her friends had also told her that St. John's was just as good as Cedars, but that it wasn't as busy and felt more personal. "You wanted Mimi?! I can't imagine that. Not, like, in a bad way, it's just hard to think about you wanting your mom."

"I know, but I was more frightened and in more pain than I had ever been in my life. My hormones were all over the place, especially after you were born, and I don't think I'd ever been so happy to see my mom as when she got to LA the day we brought you home."

"Em, you're having a contraction," Emmett interrupted.

Emily shrugged. "Could've fooled me. This epidural is no joke. I can't even feel my feet."

Sharon got up and stood beside Emmett. He was watching a machine that was hooked up to Emily. "How can you tell? That shows when she's having a contraction?"

Emmett nodded and pointed at the screen, explaining to Sharon what one of the nurses had told him about what was on the screen. Once she understood what she was looking at, she watched it for a few more minutes before unpacking the extra things she'd brought for Emily and the baby and putting them with their other things.

"Oh, thanks, Mom, I meant to grab that stuff before we left," Emily said as she watched Sharon unpack.

"You're welcome. So, what happened? Were you having contractions at all last night, or did you just wake up and realize your water had broken, or what?"

"I felt fine last night, but I woke up at about midnight with a contraction. They weren't that regular and didn't hurt too bad, so I just read for a while. Emmett woke up a couple of hours after I did and was begging me to go to the hospital, but then my water broke not long after that."

Sharon nodded. "How much have you dilated?"

"Six centimeters. I thought the last contraction I had before I got the epidural was going to kill me...Did you have epidurals with us?" Emily winced. "I can't imagine doing this without being numb from the neck down."

"I didn't with you. I think they were pretty common by then, but no one really talked about childbirth to one another like they do now, so I didn't know much about them. By the time I couldn't take it anymore and asked for one, it was too late, because you were about to be born." Sharon gave Emily a wry smile. "With Ricky, I asked for one the second we got to the hospital. My nurse forgot to give me a catheter, and I didn't know to expect one, so I didn't ask. I guess I didn't really think about not being able to feel anything. I wanted to die when I peed all over Dr. Hughes. I only saw him once or twice before Ricky was close to finally deciding to come out, but he was the lucky one who was there at the time." Sharon's face flushed when she remembered Emmett was in the room. He was still glued to the screen that was monitoring Emily's contractions. "Sorry, Emmett. You're so quiet, I almost forgot you were over there."

Emmett shrugged. "That's not even close to the most disgusting thing I've heard since we got here. You're good."

Andy stopped by on his way to work soon after 8:00 that morning and placed a vase of flowers on a table before kissing Emily on the cheek.

"Thanks, Andy. They're beautiful."

"It was the best I could find at 8:00 in the morning," he said apologetically. "How are you feeling?"

"Blissfully numb."

"I imagine that's a good thing."

Sharon was back in front of the contraction monitor, peering closely at the screen and following the measurements with her finger. She was oblivious to Andy's arrival, despite the fact that she'd talked to him on the phone less than an hour ago and knew he was stopping by. Emily got an ice chip from the bowl beside her bed and pelted it at Sharon. "Hey, Dr. Quinn. We have a visitor." She rolled her eyes at Andy. "Mom and Emmett are obsessed with that contraction thing. I couldn't care less whether I'm having one, but they think they have to tell me every time."

Andy nodded. "That sounds about right."

Sharon jumped when the ice hit her cheek. "Wha—Emily—oh, hi, honey."

Emily's doctor came in to check her progress then, so Sharon and Andy stepped out into the hall. He had examined Emily more often than he normally would have during labor because of her 'advanced maternal age.' "I thought her doctor was a woman," Andy whispered as they left the room.

"She is, but Dr. Jensen was the one on call in her office when she went into labor," Sharon explained.

"Is he really a doctor?! He looks like he's twelve! We've got to find someone who's been out of medical school longer than two days—"

"Andy, he's a great doctor," Sharon said, looking amused. "Emily had to have an appointment with all of the obstetricians in the practice, since there was a possibility of someone besides her own doctor delivering the baby. She really liked him."

"But how long could he have been doing this?! I'm sorry if I'm a little concerned about having Doogie Howser deliver my granddaughter!"

"My god, Andy, would you rather do it yourself?"

"I've probably delivered more babies than he has!" With being in patrol for a few years when they started out, both Andy and Sharon had delivered a couple of babies, but the necessity for that had been rare for both of them. "He's probably too caught up in some hospital romance to even focus on Emily! What, you're the one who made me start watching Grey's Anatomy! This place is a romance war zone!" Andy said after Sharon gave him an odd look.

A few minutes later, they were allowed back in the room. "I'm serious, Sharon, Em needs a more experienced doctor! All you've talked about is how this isn't a typical delivery, with—"

"Andy, if the next thing out of your mouth has anything to do with my age, you're getting the ice," Emily warned, holding up the bowl of ice chips.

"I don't recommend it. She has a pretty good arm," Sharon advised.

"Okay, but seriously, can't you ask for someone who's delivered more than five babies before?!"

"I've actually delivered over a thousand," Dr. Jensen informed him, coming back in the room to get something he'd forgotten. He gave Andy a reassuring smile. "Don't worry. I'm not as young as I look, and I'm perfectly qualified." A horrified expression came over Andy's face when the doctor came back in, and Sharon, Emily, and Emmett burst into laughter.

"Not as young as I look," Andy grumbled once the doctor was gone. "How awful for him!"

Andy left for work a few minutes later, and Emmett's parents and aunt and uncle arrived as he was leaving. "We won't stay long," Emmett's mom promised. "We just wanted to say hello."

Emily shrugged. "You guys are welcome to stay. We're just hanging out." The women agreed, but Emmett's dad and uncle looked nervous. "Don't worry, the doctor or nurse will make you leave when they have to do anything," Emily assured them.

Around noon, the nurse believed that the baby would be coming soon, so he paged the doctor and started to send everyone else to the waiting room. "You can have one other person stay with you besides the father, if you want," he told Emily before everyone left.

"Mom? Do you want to stay?" Emily asked.

Sharon hadn't been paying attention to the nurse. "I can? I'd love to, but—"

"He said someone else can stay, and it's fine with me. Hell, pull up a chair and watch, I don't care." After having someone's hands inside of her more than once that morning, Emily was past the point of modesty.

"All right." Sharon put her purse back down and stood near the bed. "It's so crazy how much has changed since you guys were born. Your dad and I had to take Lamaze classes just so he would be allowed in the delivery room."

"Dad took Lamaze classes?!"

"I know, right? Looking back, it shocks me, too."

A little while later, the baby was close to crowning, and Sharon couldn't help but stand near the foot of the bed and watch. While she'd performed a couple of impromptu deliveries herself as a patrol officer years ago, she'd been too busy trying to keep a baby and mother alive until more help arrived to really appreciate the experience, and childbirth had always been something she'd wanted to witness when she wasn't an active participant. Emmett and one of the nurses were holding Emily in position, as she could barely move her legs, but Emmett was facing the wall. "Emmett, you have to see this!" Sharon exclaimed.

Emmett was holding Emily's leg with one arm and was comforting her as well as he could with his other, but he had no desire to see any of the action. "Nope, I'm good."

Tears filled Sharon's eyes as the baby's head appeared and disappeared a couple of times, but she winced as the shoulders came out and caused Emily to tear. She knew the doctor's instinct to allow Emily to tear a little bit instead of performing an episiotomy was probably correct, as it didn't seem to be severe, but it was still painful to see. Tears were freely streaming down her cheeks by the time the baby was completely out and the cord was cut, and she finally had the presence of mind to get her phone and start snapping pictures, careful to make sure Emily wasn't in any of them. Dr. Jensen calmly suctioned out her nose and mouth as the baby wailed before placing her in Emily's arms. Sharon knew Emily had opted for immediate skin-to-skin contact once the baby was born, so she wasn't surprised that they weren't cleaning the baby up yet. She was shaking once the epidural was removed, so Emmett sat beside her and placed both hands on the baby. "Don't worry, I've got her."

"Don't fight it," Dr. Jensen advised. "It shouldn't last long, and having the baby against you will help, but it'll make it worse if you try to stop. Just let it run its course."

A little while later, the baby was taken to the nursery to be cleaned and have further tests done, and once Emily was stitched up, a nurse helped her to the bathroom to clean up and give her some instructions. Soon after Emily was back in bed, another nurse came back in with a cleaner and swaddled baby. "Okay, who wants her?"

"You can hold her, Sharon. I held her before she went to the nursery, and I know you're dying to get your hands on her," Emmett offered.

"Thank you." Sharon happily accepted her from the nurse and held her new granddaughter close. She looked so tiny and exhausted. Sharon sat in a chair and just gazed down at the sleeping baby, unaware of anything else around her. "Did you guys decide on a name?" She knew they had narrowed it down to two, but in the excitement of the baby's arrival, she hadn't thought to ask yet.

Emily grinned. "Marie Catherine." Marie was Sharon's mom's first name and Sharon's and Emily's middle name, and Catherine was Emmett's mom's first name. A couple of others in their family also had Marie for a middle name, but no one else had it for a first name yet. Of all of the other older names that were becoming popular again, Sharon hadn't heard of many Maries, and she liked it.

"Well, hey, miss Marie," she murmured to the baby. "I can't tell you how happy I am to finally meet you."


	27. Chapter 27

Later that afternoon, Rusty came to the hospital after his last class. Emmett's family was already gone, and Sharon wasn't staying much longer, herself. They'd had to leave the room for a couple of hours earlier that afternoon for required parent/baby bonding time, so Sharon and Emmett's parents, aunt, and uncle had gone out for lunch. They'd spent time together a few times in the recent past, as there had been a couple of baby showers for Emily and Emmett, and they'd gotten together a couple of other times when Emmett's parents had been in LA for the weekend. Sharon smiled to herself, remembering Andy's dismay at having to attend baby showers. They had basically just been parties with gifts, but he'd still grumbled about it. The rest of the afternoon had been spent passing the baby around unless a nurse needed her for something or she needed to eat. Sharon had texted Andy, Rusty, her parents, siblings, and nieces and nephews with pictures, and her phone had been blowing up all afternoon.

Sharon stood up to let Rusty have her seat. "Here, do you want to hold her?"

Rusty shrugged. "Yeah, but if she starts crying or does something gross, I'm giving her back."

"Deal."

Sharon waited for Rusty to sit down and carefully lowered Marie into his arms. She watched as his face turned from indifference to amazement, just like the first time he held his little sister. "Oh, my god, she's so tiny!"

"She didn't feel tiny," Emily mumbled.

Marie was sleeping soundly, unfazed by being constantly passed around all day. The only times they'd heard her cry, besides right after she was born, had been when she was hungry or being brought back from the nursery after having a test done. "If you think about it, being born is probably a little traumatic," Sharon noted. "After being in a warm, dark, tight space for nine months, you're suddenly in this open and bright place, and people keep messing with you when you just want to sleep."

Emily rolled her eyes. "It can't be as traumatic as having stitches—"

"Whoa, Emily, do not finish that sentence," Rusty interrupted. "Whatever it is, I'm positive I don't want to know." He looked down at Marie. "How the hell did you give birth to something so sweet?"

Sharon knelt beside Rusty and smoothed her hand over the baby's thin patch of light brown hair. "She looks just like Emily did. I'll have to show you her baby pictures sometime."

"I haven't seen the first clue that I had anything to do with her yet," Emmett agreed.

"I keep telling you she has your mouth," Emily countered.

"You're just making that up. There's no way you can tell. Unless she's screaming, she's either eating or has a pacifier bigger than her head blocking it."

"The screaming definitely comes from Emily," Rusty added.

"Whatever. I have to pee." Emily winced as she started to get out of bed, and Emmett grabbed her arm to help her. When she got to the bathroom, she looked around for a few moments before looking back out into the room. "Hey, Mom, is that squirt bottle out there? I thought I left it in here."

"Here it is." Sharon grabbed it from the table and took it to Emily.

Rusty looked confused. "What's that for—never mind. I'm sure I don't want to know."

"I'll let that one pass, but I'm answering next time," Emily warned before disappearing into the bathroom.

"Is that normal?!" Rusty hissed once the door was closed. "She can't even get out of bed without hurting." He knew childbirth couldn't be the most pleasant thing in the world, but he wasn't expecting this.

"Unfortunately, yes," Sharon answered. "Emily has never complained about being hurt or sick unless it was really bad, so I know she's hurting if she's complaining."

Emily emerged a few minutes later, and Emmett helped her back into bed. As aggravating as it was to not be able to just pee and wash her hands and be done every time, the fresh pad and ice pack in the mesh underwear a nurse had given her felt amazing.

Sharon looked up as Andy arrived, laden with gift bags. He put the bags down and kissed Emily's forehead before making his way to Sharon. One perk of retirement had been that they weren't together all day, so she was always excited to see him when he got home from work. The evening kisses were a daily thing now instead of only happening on days where for some reason they hadn't seen much of each other, one of them was off, or one of them left earlier than the other.

"You're early," Sharon commented after he kissed her.

"Yeah...Uh, Hernandez came to my desk with a gift bag and asked me what the hell I was still doing there when I had a granddaughter to see," Andy mumbled. "I didn't even tell her she'd been born. She must've heard the rest of us talking about it."

"How awful," Sharon said with mock sympathy. "It's almost like she's a nice person."

"Yeah, yeah. The other gifts are from Tao and Provenza. I guess they had wives to make them bring their gifts to work ahead of time so they'd have them ready to give me when the baby was born. Everyone says congratulations, by the way."

Emily took a sip of water from the thermos beside her and placed it back on the table. "Thanks, Andy."

"You're welcome." Andy crouched beside Rusty to get a good look at the baby. "She's beautiful. All right, kid, give her up."

Rusty stood up and passed the baby to Andy once he was sitting down, a little relieved to give her to someone else. Andy looked down at Marie, mesmerized by her. A little while later, Sharon was holding her again, and she went from being deeply asleep to pissed off and screaming in no time.

"It's time for her to eat," Emily said, holding her arms out for the baby.

"Uh, I think that's my cue to go," Rusty said, grabbing his keys and ready to make a hasty exit.

"Yeah, me too." Andy took Marie from Sharon to hold for a few more seconds before giving her to Emily, then kissed them both on the forehead. "Call if you need anything."

"Thanks." Emily took Marie and waited until Andy's and Rusty's backs were to her before opening her robe and getting her settled. Marie was instantly quiet as she began to nurse.

"I've never been so happy to be a man in my life," Rusty said to Andy as they walked out the door.

Andy nodded. "You said it, kid."

Sharon rolled her eyes and sat beside Emily on her bed. Women supposedly being the "fairer sex" was a big joke. Men were such wimps. Emily was holding Marie with her side to Emily's, so that they were facing each other in what the lactation consultant had referred to as the "football position." Marie's eyes were closed, but her mouth was steadily moving. "I liked to nurse you guys like this, too," Sharon said. "There just wasn't a name for it then. It won't be long before she's looking up at you while she nurses and is clutching each side of your breast like you're going to take it from her. It's the sweetest thing in the world."

"This hurts like crap," Emily moaned.

"I know. That'll get better, too."

"Mom..."

"Hmm?" Sharon lifted Emily's hair up off of her neck. The ballerina bun her hair had been in when they left the house the night before was now in the last stages of a loose ponytail. "You need something?"

"No...I just...I feel terrible for saying this, but I didn't feel this "instant connection" with her when she was born that people talk about. I mean, I love her, obviously, but all I've been able to think about is badly this hurts." Marie had only been a little over seven pounds, but that was a big baby for someone as tiny as Emily. The pain medicine had taken the edge off, and the ice packs were a lifesaver, but she was still uncomfortable and in pain.

"I honestly never felt that with either one of you, either," Sharon admitted. "It was a great moment when I saw you guys for the first time, especially you, because I had no idea whether you were a girl or a boy, but I felt like I'd missed out on some 'magical moment' I was supposed to have had. When I had you guys, people didn't talk about the details of childbirth. The most you'd hear about it was that, yes, it hurt, but seeing your baby for the first time made it worth it. I also had no idea what the recovery was like. I thought the pain would be mostly over once you were born. My doctor had vaguely mentioned 'recovery' a few times, but I just thought I'd be sore."

Emily nodded. "I'm glad it's not just me."

"Honey, she was screaming bloody murder, and you were shaking from the epidural. It's hard for that moment to feel spectacular. I don't know if people feel like they should have felt something like that, so they say they did or exaggerate it, or if some people are lucky enough to have easier births, but I felt guilty when I didn't feel it, too. I'd heard about that "special moment" my entire pregnancy, and I felt guilty when it wasn't what I thought it was supposed to be." Sharon kissed the side of Emily's head. "You're doing great, honey. You're going to be an amazing mother."

"Thanks, Mom." Emily shifted closer to her and leaned against her. "Will you sing the jaybird song?"

Sharon smiled. "I thought I'd heard that request for the last time when you were ten." When Jack was still home, and on nights the few times he came back, he'd always play music and dance with the kids after dinner either in the living room or on the back deck. This one had always been a crowd favorite. Emily had always asked Sharon to sing it when she was upset or didn't feel well, and Sharon had been heartbroken when Emily decided she was too old for it. Sharon put an arm around Emily and smoothed her other hand over Marie's head as she began to sing softly.

"He rocks in the treetops all day long

Hoppin' and boppin' and singin' his song

All the little birdies on Jaybird Street

Love to hear the robin go tweet-tweet-tweet, rockin' robin

Every little swallow, every chick-a-dee

Every little bird in the tall oak tree

The wise old owl, the big black crow

Flappin' their wings singin' go, bird, go, rockin' robin...

They started going steady and bless my soul

He out-bopped the buzzard and the oriole, He rocks in the treetops all day long..."

Emily's college friend, Allie, arrived then, and Sharon stayed and chatted for a few more minutes before leaving for the night. She kissed the top of Marie's head and did the same to Emily. "I'll come back late tomorrow morning." Emmett's family was coming over for dinner the next night, and they'd probably end up at the house for much of the rest of the week, so she wanted to clean up and start dinner preparations before she came back. There was no way in hell she was doing any of that tonight. She was exhausted. "It's great to see you again, Allie." Sharon gave her a quick hug, gathered her things, and left the room.

After not eating lunch until almost 3:00, Sharon still wasn't hungry when she got home. Andy and Rusty had ordered pizza, but she got some lettuce, toppings, dressing, and fresh vegetables out of the refrigerator and had salad and wine instead. It seemed to give her a second wind, so instead of soaking in a long bath and going straight to bed like she'd planned, she poured another glass of wine and went to sit by the pool. She was too tired to read, but she wasn't quite ready for bed, so she got comfortable in a lounge chair and listened to music. Andy joined her several minutes later, and she shifted over in her lounge chair so he could fit beside her. She'd been thinking all day about how protective he'd been of Emily that morning, and now, she also had the image of how much he'd adored Marie. It was...kind of hot. She tilted her head up and kissed him more deeply than he was expecting.

"Mmmm, what's that for?" Andy murmured between kisses.

Sharon ran her fingers down the length of his arm and intertwined her fingers with his. "Just for being you." She lay on his shoulder, and they sat in comfortable silence until she finished her wine. She decided to get one more small glass, and she saw that Andy had cleaned the kitchen. It hadn't been in bad shape, but it would've needed cleaning before the next evening, and that was one less thing she'd have to do the next morning. As exasperating as Andy could be sometimes, days like today made her want to get him in the bedroom and never leave.

A little while later, Sharon was back outside and had finished her wine. Andy hadn't tried to follow up on her earlier advances, despite the fact that she knew he was probably dying to, which made her want him that much more. She picked up where they'd left off before, then guided his lips to the place at the crease of her neck that always got her going. "You're not too tired?" Andy asked.

"Nah, I got a second wind. And it seems kind of fitting to end the day I become a grandmother like this."

"No arguments, here...Hold that thought. After this song."

Sharon rolled her eyes as Andy grabbed her hands and started twirling her around the pool area., but she did like this song. The lyrics were kind of strange, but she loved the tune, and it was fun to dance to. Andy couldn't sing worth crap, but she was loving it tonight.

"Undercover angel, midnight fantasy

I never had a dream that made sweet love to me

Undercover angel

The answer to my prayer

You made me know that there's a love for me out there

Heavenly surrender

Sweet afterglow

Givin' up my heart to you

Now, angel, don't go"

"This song is actually kind of weird," Sharon commented as Andy continued to sing and spin her around.

"I know, but it's just one of those songs that puts you in a good mood." He was getting louder on each "love me, love me, love me," chorus of the song, and by the time it was near the end, he was practically yelling that part. Sharon reached up and covered his mouth with her hand. "Not so loud, Andy! The neighbors will get the wrong idea!"

"Oh?" Andy nipped at her neck. "I beg to differ."

"Well, maybe not the wrong idea, but I'd rather not announce to the neighborhood what we're up to," Sharon amended. "Alice next door seems to be the type to have binoculars."

"Well, let's go give her something to see."

Sharon squealed as Andy took her hand and led her inside. They barely took the time to grab her wine glass and turn the music off before heading to their bedroom. Sharon closed herself in the bathroom to get ready, and she couldn't help but thing of how unfair it was that men never had to do anything before or after sex, except maybe brush their teeth, regardless of age. She went ahead and brushed her teeth and moisturized so she wouldn't have to do it later and went back into the bedroom in just her bra and panties, which Emily would've informed her were 'granny panties,' but she'd gone for comfort when she had to get dressed in the middle of the night. She'd gotten to the point where she didn't care anymore about Andy seeing her in her more comfortable, but less-than-desirable underwear, anyway.

After double-checking that Andy had locked the door, Sharon joined him on the bed. Rusty was studying in his room and would probably be there for a while, but she wasn't taking any chances. She was trying not to let her guard down with the bigger house and Rusty's hermit-like study habits. By the time they were finished, Andy was the one covering Sharon's mouth with his hand. He gave her a smug grin. "I think it's safe to say that being a grandmother agrees with you...Or maybe I'm just that good."

Sharon kissed him and curled into his side. "I think it's a little of both."


End file.
